Therewasanattempt therewasanattempt

to browse Reddit

to browse Reddit

i was actually able to be moderately productive for an hour

Is it bad that while Reddit was down, I tried to go to Reddit to see if anyone was talking about Reddit being down for everyone...

edit: grammar & spelling & a pony.

I just kept refreshing every five minutes.

"Well there's lots of other sites on the internet, I'll just browse one of those for awhile"

browses for 2 minutes before getting bored and refreshing reddit only to find it's still down

"Oh well, maybe I'll just check another site until reddit comes back up"

browses for 1 minute before getting bored and refreshing reddit only to find it's still down

rinse, repeat

To get unstuck

I love how the dad just gives up when he feels the other boat.

Why are they rafting without any paddles?

I think that’s more of an attraction than real rafting, sit in that boat and let the quiet river slowly take you to the other side.

fucking Sharon's boat comes steaming in. classic Sharon.

To lay untouched concrete

To lay untouched concrete

Yeah the go to swim and sink down to the bottom. It’s actually where mobsters got the idea of doing this to people. Cement shoes they call it.

To screw the construction workers

Serious question: does the concrete stick to the duck's feet and dry like that? Is it bad for the duck?

Aww, I hope they kept it like that

To quote the Bible

To quote the Bible

It always makes me laugh when people choose religion as the hill to die on

Also, there's that whole thing where the relatively kumbaya New Testament is supposed to override the draconian and somewhat death-happy laws in the Old Testament.

Not here to start an argument or anything, but there are actually three types of “laws” given in the Old Testament.

Cultural laws, Ceremonial laws, and moral laws.

According to my understanding of Christian beliefs, (which admittedly will vary depending on the denomination) The purpose of the cultural laws was to set the Jews aside and make them different in their actions from the nations around them. Not eating shellfish or pork are examples of these. When people say the Old Testament doesn’t matter anymore, they typically mean these laws. If they don’t mean these laws, they should.

The moral laws, however, are quite different. They are laws that when you disobey, you are actually separating yourself from God’s presence, or sorta putting a wall in your relationship with him because you’re doing something he doesn’t approve of. (Think of the Ten Commandments) I always thought of them in the context of a marriage/romantic relationship. If your spouse asks you not to cheat on them, and you do, it’s gonna cause some issues in the relationship. These are the laws that haven’t changed, such as do not murder.

Then we have the ceremonial laws, which serve two purposes.

One, to remember when God did something for you personally/your nation. Think of communion to remember the last supper, Easter to remember his resurrection, etc.

Two, to be acts of repentance for when you broke the moral laws. Back in the Old Testament days the priests had to do it for you. But ever since that Jesus dude came along he “fulfilled” the ceremonies by being a “sacrifice” on your behalf so that you don’t have to go through a priest anymore, you can just go straight to God and ask for forgiveness.

The tricky part is trying to figure out which verses belong to which type of law, and many theologians have disagreed on which laws belong to certain categories.

“No one can serve two masters,”

“Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.”

Matthew 6:24.

“Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.’”

Luke 12:15

If Christian Republicans really gave a shit about what Jesus said, they would be socialists

... to choose a sexual orientation

... to choose a sexual orientation

Why would they use the more-scientific term "heterosexual", but then use the less-scientific term "gay/lesbian"?

It should be "heterosexual" and "homosexual", or "straight" and "gay/lesbian"

Good point. Heterosexual sounds pretty gay, if you ask me.

An acquaintance is so homophobic, he refuses to admit he's a homo sapien.

At least she acknowledged her mistake by posting it on Facebook, look at her caption at the bottom.

Edit: okay, okay, I get it she’s a woman.

to dive into the pool

to dive into the pool

That could've been much worse..

I have stabilized the video for you:

It took 2 seconds to process and 20 seconds to upload.

 how to use | programmer | source code | /sub/imagestabilization | for cropped results, use /u/stabbot_crop

If that table caught the one behind just enough, it'd be two backwards knees for sure

Good thing that table wasn't nailed down. Also, that she was wearing a wetsuit meant she got to keep all the skin on her shins.

to FLY on a horse.

to FLY on a horse.

So... basically, she was doing weird things with the controller and caused the game to glitch?

well if she wasn't yanking on the reins she probably wouldn't have had this problem.

reins too short = painful bit in horses mouth

she's urging the horse forward but signalling to stop with the reins. poor horse has nowhere to go so wheeeee backflip

mp4 link



This mp4 version is 90.48% smaller than the gif (1.25 MB vs 13.18 MB).  



Beep, I'm a bot. FAQ | author | source | v1.1.2

This mp4 version is 90.48% smaller than the gif (1.25 MB vs 13.18 MB).

Beep, I'm a bot. FAQ | author | source | v1.1.2

basically yeah

Horse Error: your horse has stopped working click flip to reset

To lift up a dog

/sub/absoluteunits

You're far more likely to get upvotes by posting insightful, informative, or humorous comments than by begging and spamming the same 4 word comment in every thread.

Pretty sure that's a bear

1) Get a saddle. 2) Ride it into battle

To set an alarm whilst drunk.

To set an alarm whilst drunk.

This is just a picture of the calculator app, seriously?

/sub/thathappened

I’ve done this more times then I’d like to admit. Now I just yell at my phone to set an alarm because I’m too tired to think.

3:16 PM

I guess it didn’t work

done. pls return upvoted

Try one of these subthreads