The curious case of the angry printer.
This takes place early summer 2002, when I was working at the salt mine call center doing internet support - and first point of contact support for the ISP that did a lot of radio LAN back in those days (same guys as in the watertower story).
This is the tale of the angry printer. And no, not a networked one. Literally. You'll see.
I walk into the office at 07:55 Thursday morning to start the 08:00 shift, and read up on my e-mail. During the night, at about 03:00 to be specific, a customer to [Radio LAN ISP] have reported an issue. His Internet is down. Very well.
Me: "[ISP] support." Printer: "Hello, this is [owner] from [small printing firm FAR up north]. Our Internet is down. I reported this issue during night, but wanted to check if there's been any updates. Our customer number is [XXX]." Me: "Alright, hang on, I will check."
I check in the system. This guy has bought class 1 support. It means he pays a lot extra to have 24 hour guarantee on his connection. [ISP] is required to restore his connection within 24 hours. Not business hours. 24 hours. And we're required to tell him just that, and immediately report it to the technicians. Which we have done during the night.
Me: "Hi, I see that you have 24 hour guarantee class 1 support on your contract. I cannot see anything the techs have done yet, but your connection will be restored within 19 hours - 24 hours after you first reported it."
Printer: "Good. Please ask the technicians to hurry up. We got class 1 support because we need it. You see, we're a printing operation, and we take in all our printing materials over Internet. The files are about 1Gb in size, so our backup modem connection will not cut it. I have seven people standing around doing nothing because we have nothing to print. This is costing me a lot of money."
Me: "I will add this to the case and call the techs."
So, I update the case and give the techs a call. There's no reply, but I leave a message.
I return to work, and after lunch I hear that my collegue has gotten a call from the printer. Slightly more irritated, but till correct and polite.
Come Friday, and I get a call. Note that the problem, according to contract, should have been fixed by now. The case has been updated with 'tested - no contact with the customer's local equipment' but nothing more.
Me: "[ISP] support."
Angry printer: "This is [owner] from [small printing firm FAR up north]. Our connection is still down. The customer number is [XXX]."
Me: "Sorry about that, I'm checking now..."
Angry printer: "And don't tell me it will be fixed in 24 hours, it has already been more than that. I am paying seven people to drink coffee and read the newspaper."
Me: "Looks like they have tried to reach the local equipment..."
Angry printer: "I know that already. Have you done NOTHING since then? Tell them to get their arse out of the wagon!"
Me: "I will contact them immediately. It should be fixed within 24 hours..."
Angry printer: "Well it is not. Get to it! Goodbye!"
At this time, I was a bit agitated, but the customer had been correct and not irate, even if he was angry. So I updated the case, called the techs and left a message when they did not reply.
Then it was a sweet, sweet weekend with two full days of respite from the salt mine call center.
When I get back for the 11:00 shift on Monday, I get called to the teamleader almost immedately.
Teamleader: "[vonadler], we have a very angry guy up north called three or four times a day. You know the [ISP] account, can you check?"
So I check. There has been no update from the techs. We have done our part - we have informed the customer that his connection will be fixed within 24 hours (as we are required to do) which seems to send him off into a spin each time, called the techs and updated the case. One of our guys have also e-mailed the tech lead of the [ISP] to inform him of the case.
Me: "Hey, [teamleader]?"
Teamleader: "Hey [vonadler]."
Me: "I checked the case. We've done everything that the contract say we should do and then some. It is [ISP] that has not fixed this guy's connection as they should have."
Teamleader: "Thanks, I'll call [ISP] and hear what is up."
Yet, the issue was not fixed that Monday. A collegue was thoroughly berated by the angry printer during the afternoon.
On Tuesday morning, the angry printer berated another collegue for quite some time.
On Tuesday afternoon, a tech from [ISP] got into a car to drive the 542 kilometers (337 miles) up north to where the angry printer's business was located. I worked the late shift (14:00-23:00) that evening, and got the call.
Me: "[ISP] support."
Tech: "Hi, this is [tech guy's name] from [ISP], I'm onsite in [town FAR up north]."
Me: "Hi. How is it going? Can you fix the connection"
Tech: "Unfortunately, we have a bit of a... problem. I can't get online. Can you update the case for me.
Tech: "Ok, write this: We have a problem. We're going to need spare parts. BIG spare parts. The antennna has molten."
Tech: "Yeah, looks like it was hit by lightning or something."
So I update the case and call the angry printer to inform him that they are working on the issue.
Me: "They are onsite now, but ran into some problems at the antenna. They will be needing spare parts, but they are working on the issue as fast as they can."
Angry printer: "Yeah, they checked the equipment here, and it was ok. I figured something like that. They better have it fixed quick, it is Tuesday now, and I reported this issue on Thursday!"
But spare parts like that does not come quickly. [ISP] suffered badly from the dotcom crash and was close to bankrupcy. They did not have those parts on hand, and had to order them. Which took time.
And the angry printer called in. Three to four times a day, angrier and angrier, to the extent that we all feared any kind of call with his regional code. Other people who called in started to wonder why we exhailed with such relief when they brought up normal issues.
Two weeks after the initial report, I got angry printer on a call. The translation will not do his fury full justice, but I will try again.
Me: (cringing in fear) "[ISP] support."
Angry printer: "I am sorry for what I have to do now. You know who I am and what my issue is. When will it be fixed."
Me: "Within 24 hours?"
Angry printer: "WITHIN 24 HOURS? YOU HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR TWO WEEKS? ARE YOU INBRED CRETINS, OR JUST MIND-FUCKINGLY STUPID BEYOND ANY RECOGNITION? I HAVE SEVEN PEOPLE, ON PAY, HERE, EVERY FUCKING DAY. I HAVE PAID [tens of thousands of dollars] OVER THE LAST FEW YEARS TO HAVE CLASS 1 SUPPORT, AND YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT? YOU RETARDED FUCKING SCUMBAGS, YOU DEVILSPAWNED STINKING INCOMPETENT MONKEYS! HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO BREATHE WITH YOUR MIND-NUMBINGLY LOW IQ? HOW DO YOU EVEN DIFFER BETWEEN YOUR OWN MOTHERS AND THE SLIME AT THE BOTTOM OF THE AQUARIUM? HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO BE SO INCOMPETENT? IT GOES EVEN AGAINST THE LAWS OF PHYSICS!!!"
Me: "I will put this in the case."
Angry printer: "YOU DO THAT! BYE!"
This went on for another week before they managed to fix his connection. Three to four times a day. The worst part was that the customer was right. He had paid a LOT of money to have a secure connection with 24 hour guarantee because he knew he was dependent on his Internet working. The relief was massive when we got an e-mail from [ISP] saying the issue was fixed. Then, another week later, a call.
Me: "[ISP] support."
Angry printer: "You know who this is."
Me (cringing in fear): "Yes."
Angry printer: "Don't worry. I know it is not your personal fault. I just wanted to call and tell you I have terminated all contracts with [ISP], so you will not hear from me anymore. Bye."
Me (with extreme relief): "Thanks for letting us know. Bye."
We did the human wave to massive cheering all over the office. So loudly that even the managers came out of their offices wonering what was going on.
"My laptop keeps crashing"
Okay, so literally this is about the funniest thing to come across my desk in years. Sadly, I was not able to take a picture of this incident, but I will try and explain it as clearly as possible. It's a funny, but also rather 'derp' user moment.
An employee has been complaining for a while that his laptop has been crashing, every time he uses anything 'heavy'. On elaboration, we determine that even though we can hear the fan spin up, it's a CPU overheating issue and decided to monitor the laptop in our work area until it crashes. After spritzing out the fan intake/out guards with canned air, we leave it for a day with it in our plain view, while running Prime95 for CPU stress tests. Laptop never crashes. So we give it back to him stating we can't see why it's crashing, but with a note to bring it back as soon as the crash happens, so we can try to glean some dump info off it.
About an hour goes by and he returns saying 'it happened again'. Mind baffling that in one hour he was able to reproduce the overheat/crash that we where not able to in a full day. Anyway, I go to take another look at it, and decide to take the palmrest/base apart in order to clean out the fan, and re-apply some thermal paste.
This is where shit gets nutty.
After about 45 min of work, I finally get to the fan on this laptop (a model where you have to remove the entire MB to get it). I see little bits of plastic under the fan, and was thinking 'huh, something got broke off into it, maybe it can't spin'. On a closer inspection I notice that all the pieces of plastic are black, and uniform in shape. I take out the fan assembly, and there right beneath it is every single fan blade broken off the central hub.... The fan spins the hub, but no blades are on it! I look at the metal guard on the heatsink and see it is bent in nearly the exact width of a small screwdriver diameter. He stuck a screwdriver into the fan guards and broke every single fan blade off of it. As if this was not enough, the reason the CPU didn't overheat during our tests is because we had the laptop in a normal room temp range. Derp employee had his laptop in his office, three inches from a desk heater on high.
Derp employee literally broke the CPU fan and caused his CPU to continually overheat by running CPU intensive applications while said laptop without a fan, sat next to an electric space heater. Well... there's your problem.
Not the response I expected..
Used to work tech support for an ADSL provider. One of the jobs that would often land on us would be notifications of copyright breach. So universal studios or whoever would contact us to say this IP has been tracked downloading this material etc.
So I receive on relating to someone downloading pretty much entire Simpsons back catalogue. At this stage I check the account for any prior warnings (three strikes and line disconnect and no refund of years subscription) and see this account is clean.
Time to put my scary face on and call the customer to give them their warning.
Me: Good morning Sir, this is Dekor86 calling from Derpdsl can I please speak to the account holder.
Sir: Yep that's me how can I help.
Me: Sir we've received notice relating to illegal activity on your connection.
Me: Yes it seems your IP has been linked to a copyright breach activity.
Sir: Ok, what's been spotted?
Me: Well a complaint has been lodged regarding someone downloading episodes of "The Simpsons" from your IP. Now as this is your first warning we will now monitor but could you please ensure any material is deleted and this does not occur again.
Sir: Sigh....Ok, this is going to sound strange but here goes. Basically I am an ex hacker however I know live an honest life in IT.
Sir: Unfortunately it seems my son has also a knack for this sort of thing. So basically every block I have put in place to stop him downloading this material/going on dodgy sites has failed.
Sir: So I'm wondering if you could help me with this conundrum. If you were to send me a strongly worded email regarding this, perhaps with some mention of prison sentences for seeding this material etc I can use this to my advantage. I know you probably aren't allowed to do that sort of thing but it would really scare the shit out of my kid and hopefully put an end to this.
Me: Well Sir, its probably something I'm not meant to do but you will have an email in around half an hour.
Sir: Thank you so much, you are a gent and a scholar.
Me: Have a good day sir and good luck with that kid.
Sir: You too Dekor86, I'm looking forward to the look on my kids face.
Best day of working that crap job ever. Never got a response from the guy but hoping my email was enough to help this Dad teach his son a valuable lesson. If you are going to be illegal, at least be smart.
"... I feel like an idiot"
Long time lurker of this subreddit, first time poster. I work on a Service Desk for a Fortune 500 company. We support essentially everything in the company, proprietary software, hardware troubleshooting, cellular device ordering, VPN, you name it, we support it. This creates a problem where people think we literally support everything, payroll, paid time off...
We often get calls about people being unable to connect to the VPN, most of the time it is "Hey it says I need to install VPN Software. Should I do that?" Most of the time I want to ask them if they think it is lying to them, but I just respond "...yes" Anyway here is the story I came here to tell.
Guy calls up frantically reporting that his workstation won't launch an excel file and that he needs to be able to use this excel file. "Oh now I just launched Internet Explorer and that isn't coming up either, I sent the excel file to a coworker and he was able to open it fine."
About then I'm pretty pumped, this dude actually tried to troubleshoot his problem before calling... this pretty much never happens. So I remote to his machine, and low and behold both Excel and Internet Explorer are visible, and immediately his problem makes sense to me.
"Sir, please press the power button on your right hand monitor"
"...I feel like an idiot..."
"We won't tell anyone about this. Have a good day." I started laughing pretty hard and I immediately told everyone.
Crazy woman tried to fire her boss, then issues threats.
I'm still not sure exactly what went wrong here, but this crazy woman called me up to have her boss fired. I'm not talking about her supervisor, by boss I mean the OWNER OF THE COMPANY. First some background, I have this client that we don't get too many calls from because the company is pretty small, and to keep costs down the owner mandates that you have to know how to use a computer before you're allowed to work on one. So most of the calls we get are for actual computer problems. The whole company is owned by one single man, and he's an okay person, I've talked to him. Then yesterday I get a strange call.
Now this lady who called is, shall we say, expressive. I've tried to recreate they way she says things in order to give you an idea of how it went. Despite that I haven't gotten it all in there verbatim, not that I'd want to.
ME: Helpdesk, this is wonderweirdo
CRAZY LADY: This is [Crazy Lady], I just fired [Boss] and I need you to delete all his passwords.
ME: Excuse me, you just fired [Boss]?
CRAZY LADY: I haven't told him yet, I want you to kill his passwords so he can't get on the computer or get into the building.
ME: (Confused) Uh, ma'am, for any termination we need a termination notice to be sent to us by HR, and that may be a tall order for him, he owns the company.
CRAZY LADY: He doesn't own jack-shit. That useless motherfucker just had my brothers car towed out of the parking lot. His ass is fired, delete his codes now before I come upstairs looking for you.
ME: (Sends IM to manager to listen in) Hold on a second, I can't just delete his access over the phone, besides he's the owner of the company, he signs the paychecks.
CRAZY LADY: Fuck you, pussy motherfucker, you're fired too! Get your ass out of here before I come upstairs and fuck you up!"
ME: You do realize this is a recorded line, you may wanna take a deep breath there.
CRAZY LADY: [Lots of profane language and threats]
Just then my manager signals me to end the call.
I just hang up and my manager tells me he's pulling the recording and sending it up.
A half hour later I'm just derping on my PC when I catch a call that gets transferred over to me
ME: Help Desk, this is wonderweirdo
BOSS: Hi wonderweirdo, this is [Boss] over at [Client], I was told you got a call from [Crazy Lady] today and I wanted to hear from you what happened.
I explain to him the gist of the conversation and that the recording should be available through my manager.
BOSS: I just wanted to let you know that [Crazy Lady] has been removed from the building. I haven't heard what she said to you yet but she made such a huge scene we had to bring the police in, HR is taking care of the rest.
ME: It's not a problem, I didn't think she was really going to come after me, but it was obvious she was kind of unhinged there.
BOSS: Yeah, she's in the hands of the police now, she threatened a few more people around here.
ME: She said she was firing you because you had her brothers car towed, how was he involved, did he work there too?
BOSS: No, there's been a mystery car parking in our lot for a couple weeks now. No one here seemed to own it, I decided to have it towed from our lot since we don't have enough space as it is. I think that she might have been allowing him to park there so he didn't have to pay for it else where and she just wasn't reporting the car.
ME: Reporting the car? Wait what did she do there?
BOSS: She was the security guard at the front desk?
ME: Are you serious? I hope she wasn't armed.
BOSS: No, but I'm gonna call that agency about screening their people.
ME: Hold on, how did a security guard at the front desk think she can just fire the owner of the company.
BOSS: (I could hear him shrug over the phone) I have no idea.
ME: Right. Well if you need me to do anything else let me know, but I'm pretty sure the recording is on it's way to you already.
BOSS: Thanks, I'll be in touch.
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE
Okay, I've done a little digging since I posted this. Though this didn't make the news, through certain online sources I was able to find the arrest record. I was tempted to post it but that could have lead to a violation of privacy I'd have been on the hook for. This client is not in the same state as I am, it's all over the phone. I looked up the arrests in the city where the client is and found her. Even though she was arrested for disorderly conduct and criminal threatening, those charges were expanded to include possession of crack-cocaine. Which explains a great deal.
who said i am going to pay you for that?
I've been on reddit for some time now, especially on tfts and I enjoyed it immensly.
I do work as an IT certified specialist but it appears we have decent customers so I dont have much to tell. However, on christmas I remembered a story that fits here quite well...
You see, I wasn't always in IT. In fact, after school, I started working in a bar, shortly after, I sort of owned it. Anyway, it did not last (not my/our fault - the new owner of the bulding diddnt give us another lease since he diddnt want a bar in there) and being unemployed being frowned upon, I had to search for a new job. Long story short, instead of getting into IT what I would have prefered, I got stuck at another job working behind a bar - since that is where I had 5+ years experience.
Please bare with me, I realise this is not techsupport related yet, but kinda important.
Now, this bar was a dive and a failure. It tried to be hip but it failed. Failed on an epic scale I did not think possible. The owner was a guy, mid 40s. His (ex-)wife wanted the bar and he co-signed the lease. Some months later the women took all the money and skipped town. So now he was stuck with a bar and two choices: close it down and pay for the lease the next 4.5 years - or keep it open to recupriate some of the losses.
Few more details needed... Above the bar were rooms for rent. They were reasonably priced. One of those in the 3rd floor was sort of an office (aka a bed and an old PC). The music we played in this bar came from an Toshiba Vista Notebook.
So, I ended up working there. I wont bore you with all the crappy stuff that happened there, lets just fast forward to my last day I worked there...
Boss came in and told me to follow him in the "kitchen". There a package from an internet provider was lying around, as well as a new modem/router (AVM FritzBox) with a few cables attached. He proceeded to tell me that he ordered internet and asked if I could set it up so it can be used in the office (since he knew I was interested in stuff like that), he tried already but couldnt get it to work. I told him that it will be hard since I diddnt think the wifi would get up that high and that he would in all likely hood need to get a wifi repeater for ~ 50 eur so it would work. But for now, I, of course, said yes, I can and will set up the internet. He took a beer and went outside. This was around 4pm in the afternoon on a weekday, no other customers and experience told me, there wouldnt be any for hours and if there would be, they would not cause much work.
So I proceeded to look at the FritzBox which was hooked up. It was all wrong, so I re-attached it correctly so it would get DSL and the phone would keep working when the boss came back and asked me what I was doing.
M: "setting up the internet"
H: "what? who told you to do that now? what if a customer comes in?" (he was pretty anal about not "slacking" (smoking/sitting/eating/drinking/doing anything besides standing at attention behind the bar))
M: "well, I assumed..."
H: "no, stop it!"
So I stopped, thinking "yeah, he will leave soon then I can continue" And he did. Still I had no customers, so I went back "to work", set up the FritzBox, connected it to the music laptop per wifi, gave it the providers info and had internet. the next few hours (no customers) the laptop was busy getting updates and more updates. In that time I set up a second box I found lying around in the box as a wifi repeater.
At around midnight I closed down the bar since I did not have a single customer the whole day. I installed the wifi repeater in the 2nd story of the building and went to the office. wifi was available, I set up the computer and again, lots of updates.
I wrote down all the stuff I did and why, the ip adresses, the passwords, put it with the bar related paper that we had to do every evening and went home. It was 1am.
At 7am I woke to the frantic ringing of my cellphone. It was my boss demanding to know why I would write I worked until 1am when I closed the bar at midnight. I told hom because I set up the wifi for his office, even saving him 50 eur becau... He interrupted me, demanding to know who ever said me that I would be getting payed for setting up the internet. That was the last straw. All time slowed down. I had to take so much crap in the last year from this unimportant, ignorant, posing penny pincher and there was only one thing I ever could do...
M: "Listen. If you even THINK that you MIGHT find someone else stupid enough to set up your internet, save you 50bucks by "hacking" a router to serve as a repeater and update your two computers for 6 eur (my hourly rate - midnight to 1am) I will come to the bar immediately, rip out all the cables, reset all the boxes and delete all the updates and give you your money back..."
Immediately he tried to backpaddle "...well stammer it wasnt ment like that just ... you know ... we dont have money ... I diddnt know ..."
M: "yeah... right"
H: "still, I did not say I would pay you for it but its ok, keep the money. we will talk about this at your next shift in 2 days. bye"
I turned around, thinking about my life, this job and that idiot until I fell asleep again. When I woke up and after the mourning routine, I went there, gave him his key back and told him I will not be coming to work in 2 days. or ever again. I quit.
Probably one of the best decisions in my life. No 3 months later I had moved away and a better paying job with the best boss ever in IT (where I am still today)
I saw this guy at christmas again when 2 friends "forced" me to go to that bar since every other one was closed for the night already. He had trouble with his laptop and asked if I could have a look. I supressed my laughter, turned to him and told him about our hourly rate and if he would be ok with that, I will be happy to look at his problem. tomorrow, when I am sober. He did not call me the next day... And I was not sad about that. Not even a bit...
tl;dr 6 EUR is too much for setting up dsl, wifi, repeater and updating 2 pcs - according to some.
I foresee a server room covered in yellow sticky notes which say "do not touch!"
I'm sitting there watching the ticket queue for an offsite, doing some overtime to support them, when I see a few tickets for people unable to citrix in that have the same error message: lack of permissions. Being a smart little monkey, I think, hey. Maybe there's a root cause and something's gone wrong with the servers; better drop the citrix guy a note. So I do, and he doesn't respond, and I think, he must be busy. I'll wait.
A couple hours later he responds.
Him: the servers, we lost them.
Me: power drop or something?
Him: no, physically.
Him: someone came in and took them out of the rack and cannibalized them for parts.
Me: damn dude, that sucks.
At which point I started laughing, but thankfully this is text so he can't see me gigging because thank everything that this was someone else's site and I'm doing overtime instead of actually responsable for any of this.
(turns out some folks were doing cleanup on a bunch of dead servers and mistook some live ones for ones they were supposed to work on.)
You're on the other side of the world? One hour service, guaranteed.
So I live in the UK but I have been quite involved in a few online communities for some competitive online games and gotten to know people all over the world which is something that I love about the internet.
There was one girl who lives in America I'd met on a forum and had added on Skype/Twitter/etc. and she knew I was quite good at general PC troubleshooting, seeing as it's my job and all. We'll call her Cassie.
Cassie sends me a message asking if I could look at a problem her friend in Australia was having and linked me to a tweet he had made to a blog post detailing how his PC was no longer booting. Quite a convoluted way to get details of a problem I know. I read through the post which explained the following (in a little bit more detail):Windows crashed the day before and would not boot When turning on the PC it would get to the Windows flag and then loop The PC did boot into safemode but neither the mouse or keyboard would work at all
Now a few people were giving their tidbits of advice saying that it was clearly a failed hard drive and he needed to re-format the whole thing, that all of his data was as good as lost. Someone else even commented that he had a virus that was locking him out and every time he put it in safemode it was allowed access to his private information. Read: ¬,¬' Ignoring all this I decided it couldn't just be the hard drive if safemode worked but the mouse and keyboard didn't work.
It was about here that the friend, we'll call him Ozzie, was added to the Skype conversation and we started talking it through. I clarified a couple of points and asked his make/model of the PC or it's parts. I'd been looking at the issue for maybe ten minutes by now and decided that there was either a corrupted USB driver or device causing all of the issues described and asked Ozzie to unplug everything out of the back of the PC and put just the keyboard in the front (as nothing was plugged in the front and if it's the driver for the motherboard that's gone wrong the front panel may work).
True enough he gets into safemode without a hitch and can use the keyboard perfectly. I then ask him to try Windows as normal and then plug in the keyboard to the back panel and try again if that's successful as well. Works both times. He's very excited at this point. I tell him to take it easy as it may mean that one of his devices (two of which were external HDDs filled with videos he had created for his YouTube) was at fault. He needed to plug them in one at a time so we can know which it is.
Thankfully once everything was in it was all working perfectly. I put that down to the driver/device in question having been put back in a different port and resolved whatever driver issue that had afflicted it.
Ozzie was thrilled and spammed his thanks to me. I checked what time his blog post went up and it was about 55 minutes before I produced the solution for him.
Not bad from the other side of the planet having never seen the computer in my life. I do admit it was because I got good information from him, not some of the usual user details we're all so very used to...
TL;DR: Despite all the blood running to their heads from being upside-down, Australians are more helpful than most of the lusers in the UK World.
EDIT: Some of my sentences were just diabolical. Typos and erroneous words should now have been dealt with!
"Don't we own that company?"
I work in IT for a hospital.
I was asked to put a license for Office 2010 Pro on a user's PC. All the paperwork was filled out, so I went and installed it.
As I was leaving, one of her co-workers said "Hey IT guy, install it for me too, please."
I said "Sorry ma'am, but I need the paperwork filled out and it has to be paid for. Then I'll come do it."
She said "Oh... don't we own that company?"
I replied "What company? You mean Microsoft?"
She said "Yeah, we don't need to pay for it if we own the company."
I just stared at her thinking that she had to be kidding. She just stared back waiting for an answer.
"... No ma'am. I don't think we own Microsoft."
No ma'am, that's illegal.
I used to work for my college's tech support team. I did classroom support, but mainly I manned the S.S help desk. Like most universities, we provided software to students at a discounted price through a 3rd party vendor. This is only available to admitted and enrolled students, not a difficult concept. Our tale of swearing, law breaking, and employee termination begins one lazy afternoon. I shall be me, and Ms.Angry pants will be known simply as Angry.
Me: Thank you for calling IT support, this is Toplesspenguin, how can I help you?
Angry: Yes, I'm a student at [University] and I'm try'n to buy Microsoft Office with the student discount but it's telling me that my student number is wrong.
Me: Alright, can I get your student identification number please?
Angry: It's (proceeds to give me username that has no numbers in it)
Me: no ma'am, that's your username I need the number you put in our system to try and purchase the software.
Angry: oh, we'll why didn't you say that! It's (ID number)
Me: thank you. (I proceed to look up her I.D number and find that she was a student that hasn't enrolled in classes in about 3 years) ok ma'am, I believe the problem is that you are not currently enrolled in any classes here. The discount is only available to students who are currently attending classes.
Angry: (voice suddenly filled with rage and ignorance) I am too a student here! I need office for some classes that I'm taking over at (other school not related to us at all) and I demand the cheaper price. That shit is too expensive to buy regular.
Me: are you currently enrolled in classes here at (university)?
Angry: No, but I AM a student!!
Me: ma'am if you're not taking classes, then you're not a student here.
Angry: I am too! I just had to take some time off because of illness! (She then proceeds to tell me about her "illness" and how she still deserves her discount software and)
Me: I'm very sorry, but unless you are taking classes, you don't qualify for the discount price.
Angry: can you just let me use your student number and order it for me?
Me: no ma'am, that's illegal.
Angry: Are you new there? I can't wait till they train yo worthless ass.
Me: ma'm, insulting me will get you nowhere. If you're not a student here, then I cannot help you.
Angry: You're not helping me anyway! I can't believe how fucking stupid you is! Get me my software, I deserve it!
Me: no ma'm, if you're going to yell and curse me, you deserve this. click
A few minutes go by and the phone rings again and on the caller ID it shows her number. So I go and get my manager and ask if he would handle this irate woman.
Manager: thank you for calling IT support, this is manager, how may I help you?
Angry: I just called a few minutes ago, and one of your employees was rude and refused to help me!
Manager: I'm very sorry for that, I'll have a word with Toplesspenguin later. Is there anything I can help you with?
Manager then goes through the whole process of getting her number and telling her she's not a student and doesn't get her discount.
Angry: is there anyone there with more experience who knows what they're doing!?
Manager: ma'm, I designed and created the system you're using, there is no one with more experience. It's obvious you're trying to get something you don't qualify for. If you call again your number will be blacklisted and you will lose IT phone support privileges.
Angry: fuck you!
Manager: (in the calmest cool voice) no bitch, fuck you. click
I have never felt more defended and cared for as an employee since that day. I later found out that she did call a few days later that she did call again and convinced one of the other techs to use his ID for her. Manager was listening to the call so he got fired and Mrs.Angry got blacklisted and reported to judicial affairs.
Tl;dr If you give in to bullies, you get fired.