mallninjashit

Found on Facebook "ready for the zombie apocalypse"

Found on Facebook "ready for the zombie apocalypse"

Good Lord, that's actually a children's bow. It looks like it's maybe 3 feet long.

It's called a shortbow you filthy pleb. Don't you know anything about the archer class?

This bag says “my sex offender charges prevent me from buying guns.”

The archer class really is made up of archers!

Found this on Wish. I love looking up mall-ninja and tacti-cool shit

Found this on Wish. I love looking up mall-ninja and tacti-cool shit

Ermagerd did you just call Riddick a mall ninja?!?

Agreed. A lot of stuff on here hits that "middle school me" spot that still likes things like this.

Galactic Trading Post Ninja*

looks actually kinda cool

real repeating tactical crossbow xobra (zobra) zombie killer

real repeating tactical crossbow xobra (zobra) zombie killer

That thing is actually pretty ingenious design.

This is dope lol. If this is mall ninja shit then sign me up i guess

The cocking mechanism is interesting.

Especially considering the cocking mechanism of old-school crossbows.

Totally sick triple blade killing tool

Totally sick triple blade killing tool

Add two more blades and you can fight the Beast and rescue Princess Lyssa.

How it is supposed to be used?

Throw it like a frisbee I guess

To open three Amazon packages simultaneously.

She Could Crush Your Dink Into a Diamond

She Could Crush Your Dink Into a Diamond
She Could Crush Your Dink Into a Diamond

Seems a little wrong to include her name and the school name in the post.

This doesn't seem like the point of this sub. It seems more like attacking someone than just laughing at some mall shit?

She does not look 21

A small knife disguised as a bullet, found at Wisconsin truck stop.

A small knife disguised as a bullet, found at Wisconsin truck stop.

Lol camo on a bullet

They'll never see this one coming!

A digicam knife, shaped like a bullet... China has to assume we're insane after building all this shit for us.

It's not really diguised as a bullet, just shaped like one. Like, no one would see that and go "that's a live round, not a knife". That being said is there an /sub/mallmarines ?

While I was riding motorcycles and drinking I also studied the blade.

While I was riding motorcycles and drinking I also studied the blade.

How the fuck is that mall ninja supposed to ride his Harley after pounding a bottle of jack?

No shit right? He drank a LOT of that bottle. THATS why he ends up punching the air!

“A drunk man was found dead next to a brush fire after trying to fight off a bear attack with two 1 inch blades. More at 11.”

God I hate these unedited and uncommented commercials pretending to be awesome 10 lists

How do you even hold it?

How do you even hold it?

I think you have the head towards your palm.

For sure; looking at any brass knuckle(s?) with "curved" finger holes has the "hitting" end on the outside of the curve.

I also imagine that the tops of the wings, the parts that would actually be pressing against your palm, are flat, not bladed.

Totally mallninjashit, but if I'm correct about the above assumption, then this is hardly as moronic as the Shark Knife.

Who cares? It's free lol.

Just pay $29.99 shipping!

Was watching Adult Swim informercials when I saw this. Thought of you beautiful people.

Was watching Adult Swim informercials when I saw this. Thought of you beautiful people.

Haha. This is one of the other skits people were passing around after Too Many Cooks got popular.

Rob Heubel is great. For anyone who doesn't know, this is a spin-off of his Dragon Shumway character from NTSF:SD:SUV::, which I highly recommend.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7e77oXjFkIs

kind of like this

They do at least one 10minute video a year. Going back about a decade

For the Mall Ninja who doesn’t just eat takeout

For the Mall Ninja who doesn’t just eat takeout

My cutlery dreams always end with me getting stabbed...

I’d buy them if they were cheap tbh.

I bought very similar ones at Walmart for $24 for four settings.

this sub is really obsessed with oilslick

Try one of these subthreads