I'd like to add at least a sliver of funeral potato to the pie chart.
This will be a high-minded and informative comment thread.
My wife an I have had this discussion. Not speaking for anyone else, but for us...even if this whole thing turned out to be a sham and a farce; our lives are way better than they would have ever been without it. I'm challenged to do better than I would without it, I volunteer time to help youth, I've made friends, I'm more disciplined and have some moral compass. Without it, my life would likely be total mess. Granted, a lot of those reason are social, but it's taught me fair amount about myself, how I think and try to connect with reason, a 'higher power' and see the world through others' eyes.
I'm LDS because I have a relationship with my Heavenly Father. He didn't turn his back on me. Even when I did on him. He just patiently waited for me to turn around, and talk to him, love him, honor him, and obey his commandments. Seems so easy now, yet so hard then. No meme is going to explain why, or how it feels to be filled with the spirit. To be so down, just begging for someone to hug you. You say a prayer, and you can literally feel The Lord's arms around you. I'm not risking that comfort and security ever again. Just my humble opinion. I'm human I make mistakes, but I try hard to love everyone. I admire the fact that you made this and had the courage to share it. Great job. Maybe with the younger generation it will be better. Lol I'm 45.
Boys everywhere rejoice as they no longer have to finish Eagle Scout to get their license!
Next up on /sub/latterdaysaints agenda: 2 hour church.
Some silver lining on this is that those boys and parents that are really into Scouting will now have a greater incentive to integrate themselves into the non-LDS Scouting community.
My 10-year-old son’s best friend from school is involved with Scouting at local Lutheran church. They have a well-funded, well-staffed program.
If my son wants to continue Scouting, he’ll probably go there.
I feel sorry for the poor guy with the friends of scouting calling next year.
I'm leaving r/exmormon and going back to church
Long story short, I used to be super involved in /sub/exmormon. I subscribed at about the 800 mark, and just unsubscribed today. I used to love the historical nature of the sub. It was a close knit community that talked about the flaws in doctrine and such. For several years I didn't go to church, and hated the church. But I recently started going back. I will never give way on my issues with the church, but I am bothered by the liberal decay (super evident in /sub/exmormon) of the world. Pretty gross especially when everyone around me is liberal. I'm a millennial conservative who wants to see the world have more sense and return to Christian values. I have other issues with the Church and with /sub/exmormon, but I want to do my part to further the cause. So I'm going back to church!
Well, it's not the weirdest reason I've heard of for somebody to come back. Welcome!
I'll be sure to wear my red L next week so you can steer clear of me.
I came back after seven years away in full-on exmo mode. My advice - it's like riding a bike. Just start pedaling - it'll come back to you in no time. One of the best things that happened to me was I quickly got a calling I happened to really enjoy. I placed my energies there and before I knew it, it was like I never left. I've been back 10 years now, very happy with it. Thus, I encourage you to make an appointment and go speak with your Bishop about getting yourself a great calling you can really sink your teeth into.
Be open to the possibility that you will regain a positive opinion of the church. I sought it out for similar reasons and I never thought I would actually believe any of the doctrine, but I do. Prayer can change you in ways that you don't expect.
On my phone, everything was cut off after "LDS Church endorses Utah Teen Suicide"
Glad to see there's more to the story. :)
He wants more upvotes
I have a bet (sort of) with another user about what kind of post the community wants to see.
This is an experiment in content submission.
I'm winning, by the way.
Are MLMs ruining anyone else's relief society?
Can we all agree that members should NOT be hawking their pyramid scheme nonsense at church?
I've had it up to my ears with the sales pitches. Our ward's relief society page is being overrun. No exaggeration, 50% of the posts are ladies selling Lularoe/Isagenix/DoTerra/Lipsense/YoungLiving/Herbalife/Beachbody/etc. Not only that, but women are using the announcement time in RS to sell their stuff as well. They try to be sneaky and word it like they're offering a service. It usually goes, "Just wanted to offer some help if anyone needs it! If you ever have ANY questions about essential oils/makeup/nutrition, I can help you! I love helping women _____".
What hurts me the most, though, is the way this dynamic stifles friendships. On multiple occasions, a woman has sat next to me in RS. We'll chat briefly, get along very well, and exchange numbers. I get excited thinking that I have a new friend. Then the woman texts me with something like, "Hey! It's Shaybreigh! I loved getting to know you last week! I'm having a girls night on Thursday, you should come!" So I'll come... and its a leggings party/senegence party/whatever. I'll be polite and participate fully, but I won't buy. Then there's a follow-up. The woman asks what I thought of the night, I tell her that I had a lovely time but I'm not in the market for any ___ right now. After that, radio silence. I try to plan something like a movie night every other month or so, but the "friends" I made mysteriously never show up.
I've spoken with the RS presidency about this, but guess who sells too? The first and second counselors. Nothing is being done. I hate that I'm weary of invitations from other women now. I hate seeing this awesome institution turn into a marketplace. Church isn't a place for you to make money off of other people.
Sounds like it's time to grab a whip an flip tables.
That sucks. Your bishop needs to drop the hammer.
Some might find it ironic we're having this discussion on the LDS subreddit XD
That's my next step. Our bishop is great and I'm betting he'd be able to handle it in a very tactful manner. It seems like the women who sell mean well, but maybe just don't realize they're making a-holes of themselves?
Sterilization / being childfree
Hi, friends! My husband and I (20s, married for a few years) never want to have children. We have a long list of good reasons and unless something drastic happens, we'll be sticking to our plan. I'm wondering if it would be worth talking to our bishop about one or both of us potentially getting surgically sterilized. This is something I've been thinking about for quite a while now, and I truly feel that I should not have children. However, the handbook is pretty clear about sterilization:
The Church strongly discourages surgical sterilization as an elective form of birth control. Surgical sterilization should be considered only if (1) medical conditions seriously jeopardize life or health or (2) birth defects or serious trauma have rendered a person mentally incompetent and not responsible for his or her actions. Such conditions must be determined by competent medical judgment and in accordance with law. Even then, the persons responsible for this decision should consult with each other and with their bishop and should receive divine confirmation of their decision through prayer.
It also says that "The decision as to how many children to have and when to have them is extremely intimate and private and should be left between the couple and the Lord. Church members should not judge one another in this matter." (from the section about birth control)
My husband and I have come to the conclusion that the number of children we should have is zero. We use two forms of birth control. Just the thought of becoming pregnant is enough to induce an anxiety attack in me. When we had a pregnancy scare once, I was completely distraught. My sister has four kids; two were born via C-section because her bone structure was literally not big enough for a normal birth and the other two were born so prematurely that we weren't sure either would live. I have a lot of anxiety issues and can't stomach seeing kids eating messily, get extremely angry when I'm around crying/screaming for more than a short time, can't handle sticky hands or any body fluids that aren't my own, and only ever deal with doctors when it's absolutely necessary. Pregnancy is an actual nightmare of mine. I try not to let my paranoia and fear get in the way of my relationship with my husband, but even with two forms of birth control being used exactly as directed, there's still that terrifying chance that I'll get pregnant. I feel that it would make the most sense to just get myself a bilateral salpingectomy so that I could ease my anxiety and not have to take a pill every day until I'm 45.
Is there any chance that sterilization is justified in my situation? Pregnancy may not jeopardize my physical health - my sister and I have a lot of similarities, but do I have slightly bigger bone structure than her, so who knows - but I am certain that being pregnant, giving birth, and having a baby would absolutely wreck my mental health. I don't want to waste my bishop's time if this is a clear "no, you broken idiot, just keep using BC and endure to the end" kind of deal.
As a secondary question, does my decision to avoid pregnancy at all costs make me a selfish, terrible person? I've only talked to a few people about this aside from my husband. One woman said that I seem to have put a lot more thought into not becoming a parent than a lot of people put into becoming one and that I was making a good decision. A family member, on the other hand, told me that I was sinning by not wanting children and basically implied that I'm wasting my life if I don't become a mother. I do have some selfish reasons for not wanting kids (not putting my body through such intense trauma, keeping my marriage the way it is, not having to spend decades of my life doing something I don't actually want to do, etc.) but I also feel that it would be completely unfair to have a child without wanting it. Every baby deserves to be wanted and adored, and I don't think I could do either of those things. Would it truly be better to have a child I didn't want just for the sake of having one?
And please, don't bother trying to convince me that I'll change my mind when I'm older, won't be able to ignore my maternal instinct forever, or will eventually regret not having them. I promise that I know myself better than an internet stranger could.
Having kids is a fundamental human experience that matters a great deal, but not wanting it doesn't make you a "selfish, terrible person" or a "broken idiot" (lots of high-strung, negative self-talk in here, by the way).
I don't know anything about what you will or won't regret; in general, people do change a great deal from their twenties to thirties to forties, and the emergence of those regrets is common enough to be proverbial - but maybe you won't. And you certainly shouldn't have a kid "just for the sake of having one", or under any other circumstances that you'll resent.
As for 'knowing yourself better than an internet stranger', that's certainly true - but bearing that in mind, why ask internet strangers for advice on something so intimate and personal in the first place (unless you just want to hear a confirmation of what you've already decided)?
There's no reason you can't have an "all of the above" strategy:work on your anxieties/paranoia to increase your general quality of life keep your mind open that your future self might have different priorities than your current self if you're 99% sure you're never going to want kinds, get a surgical intervention.
If you do choose the latter (and it's your choice), I'd offer that it makes much more sense for your husband to get a vasectomy. This also allows you (well, him) to preserve some sperm for the possibility that in the future the two of you do want biological children. But that is a much less invasive surgery and should be much less expensive.
I know they're working on semi-permanent polymer-based "vasectomy" procedures, but they're not available in the US yet.
I use a Mirena IUD now that I am done with kids. It is more effective than sterilization and it has positive side effects for me. I believe you are entitled to your own revelation on the matter. I would suspect that your Bishop would advise you against sterilization, but it's really up to you.
I don't understand what you are after here. It seems like you want us to pass judgement when you ask "is there any chance it's justified?" and "am I being selfish?" Like you point out in your post - "Church members should not judge one another in this matter."
Those oceania numbers are insane.
Then click on the little number that provides source for that 18%! It links to a census. 18% of Samoans view themselves as LDS. This number is from 2011. The total number is 18,554.
Our number for 2011 was ~60,000, so only about 30% of baptized tongans view themselves as LDS.
Cabo Verde is much more closely associated with Portugal than with Sub-Saharan Africa. Grouping the data this way makes it appear as more of an outlier than it really is, IMO.
Depends on whether they're defining them as active members or members in total.
Congratulations on your baptism! That's wonderful, and I'm glad you were able to share your testimony on such a special day.
Congratulations! Remember, it's just a checkpoint in your wonderful journey. Things won't be magically perfect afterwards, and you will still need to repent.
But, repentance isn't the backup plan. It's the main plan. So don't ever become discouraged if you feel yourself getting "sidetracked". You now have a new set of Brothers and Sisters to help!
I remember distinctly one day as a young missionary in Korea a very excited man running up to the bus where I was sitting at the window. He was Mongolian and couldn't speak English or Korean. The only word he could think of to say was "Melchizedek!" He repeatedly said it and the he pulled out his temple recommend and waved it at us as the bus pulled away.
We weren't from the same place. We didn't speak the same languages. But we got the message. We were all part of the same team.
Welcome to the team. :)
Congratulations! I got baptized when I was 18. I'm now 33 and raising my family in the gospel. I'm sorry there are so many negative comments. This should be a safe place to share your joyful news.
Congratulations! Pro tip from another recent convert: journal today. Extensively. Don't journal? Start today.