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Avoid sexual harassment claims by harassing on live television, like Conan

That's not sexual harassment.

The civil discourse in this thread will undoubtedly be both engaging and enlightening.

Context matters with something like this.

Has everyone forgotten how to stand up for themselves? Buncha goddamn pussies everywhere.

To the resc... oh nevermind..

Hard to tell since no one on Reddit is an actual cat.

Does the cat know it can do this? Or is that just straight up panic mode?

Thousands of years and they still be fooled.

Cat: "Urgggghhhhhhhhhh! Now I have to find a new hole to sit in!!!!!!"

Surprise motherf**ker!

Surprise motherf**ker!

Sensing a weak link in the herd, the hidden predator strikes. It's all over in a moment. The SUV will eat well tonight.

Damn that dude actually reacted fast to a flying car launched out of an underground cave.

The ambulances will have to wait their turn.

Or he might've lost control, gone into the median and been a surprise flying car to the other direction of traffic, potentially instigating an infinite loop of flying cars.

I'll just have a salad...

I'll just have a salad...

Do what you must, I have already won.

I was waiting to see the kid vomit.

It scares me how much I understand the feeling. Taking a deep breath as you haven't had an adequate supply of oxygen in your lungs since the food arrived. Unable to move your body from the sheer weight of the food youve just sent to the deep, dark, seemingly endless abyss that was once your stomach. Trying to fight off the sweet embrace of the food coma like a toddler trying to fight mike tyson. Then right as you're about to succumb to sleeps loving grasp, the rumbling of your colon starts. That's when you summon strength from some unknown location within you to just barely pull yourself to the bathroom before you unleash Armageddon upon the poor defenseless toilet, which Is going to take a beating that would make Rihanna twitch. Then, after all is finished, you slowly shuffle to your bed (or the couch) as to not irritate your ruptured asshole. Then you gently lay on your back, close your eyes, and escape into darkness. There are no dreams, not this night. Your body needs every bit of energy to process the aftermath of the last hour, and prepare for when you awaken, hoping from the bottom of your heart that your toilet has somehow miraculously survived your savagery....

Don't worry kid. I know how you feel, it's going to be okay... it's. Going. To. Be. Okay.

Exactly how I feel after lunch at my desk

Opportunity always presents itself

Opportunity always presents itself

What is that black car on the left even doing

Rolling a one on their parallel parking check.

I’m not judging...a free car wash is a free car wash. Bonus, that looks like a fun time!

I love how everyone is making use of it.

Under a sea of clouds

Over you mean

We get it. You vape.

OP meant he is under that sea of clouds cuz getting over the clouds will cost him an arm and a leg on rent.

He's pretty.

Surprise Motherf*cker

Surprise Motherf*cker

Remember snake eggs?

Butterflies motherfucker

It Flies Motherf*cker!

Snake eyes motherf*cker

The great forest spirit accepts your offering, human

Looks kinda like she accidentally conditioned the deer to expect food every time it nods. Notice how after it gets the treat, the deer leans in expectantly after nodding again

Maybe Nara? Probably the most famous place for deer. Literally hundreds of them and they come up to you for food.

Where is this place? I need to add it to the list of places to visit.

Unless she's centuries old, she's not the one who conditioned deer in Nara to bow for food.

Morning commute on the 405 in LA today

Traffic's moving pretty good for the end of days.

Ha! Suck it New England - we have four seasons, too! Spring, Summer, Fire, and Mudslides.

And look at all the brilliant colors our trees turn!!

Don't worry... WAZE is showing people alternate routes they can take using the small winding roads that run through the hills, which are all about to burst into flames as the fire spreads.

Just enjoying your morning commute to Hell?

Rough housing with a little chimp

You should be careful. He already killed that other guy.

The sleeping homeless guy does not give a fuck

It could be months of elite Ranger training, we don't know the whole backstory.

It's all fun and games until your face gets ripped off.

Try one of these subthreads