Chicken collection machine

"Chicken collection machine?" OP wasted a perfect opportunity here. This machine is a massive cock-sucker.

Should be noted: this is what's considered "cage free".


People acting surprised; how did you expect chicken to cost so little.

Homemade flamethrower hi-jinx

Like, what was the outcome supposed to be?

Hats off to the Pants Off Guy. His instinct to get the fire as far from his dick as possible is exactly right.

Probably to kill that spider on the ground

Confucius says, "Man with burning dick becomes flaming homo".

You can work hard...or work smart

The girl in the scooter is like 'damn, gotta take a quick pic'

Not if your are smart instead of hard.

calm my dudes I never seen this before

You're blind, you've never seen anything.

This van where I work.

This van where I work.
This van where I work.

No worries. He has an air freshener. Problem solved!

"Oh, that's nasty."

Yeah cause that will cover up the smell of rotting trash.

Be careful with flaming shots

Be careful with flaming shots

Shouldn't it be common knowledge by now that this is a bad idea?

It looks like the guy on the left tosses a shot-glass of gasoline in the drinker's face. Is that what's going on here? I'll prank you by throwing flammable liquid in your face. Hahahahahha! I can't quite figure out how this happened.

Was he smoking the shot?

I have a weird feeling I recognise this place. Green Fairy in Namur?

That can't be a wild animal, it's wearing a dress.

Why would you sneak up on a bear?!

That poor bear looked so freaked out.

The only wtf I can see is that bears are still being used as show animals

Domestication of bears is cruel

If you want any chance at all of stealing their snacks, you have to sneak up on them.

Save water by washing your car during a hurricane

Here I am, wash me like a hurricane!

Who leaves their garbage cans out during a hurricane?

Florida Man does

Shut the garage!

Found on a car outside the local YMCA

Found on a car outside the local YMCA

Psychosis and religion do not make good bedfellows.

But yet religion is the trellis on which many psychoses grow.

About a half-pint of crazy spilled on the back of that minivan.

That was well phrased.

To these people, the dead aren't really dead

She's dead but has better hair than some people I know.

Finally a family gathering WITHOUT drama. Life hack level expert


Pelicans are fucked up man

How else are you gonna scratch your scrotum mouth?

My brother got shit on by a pelican. They shit BIG. It looked like a whole milkshake of shit. It got in his mouth. It stank. He sat on a nearby bench, he was covered in shit. White, runny bird shit.

He calmly took off his shirt. Spit a few times and wiped his face. His wife tried wiping his hair. People were laughing, it was sad and hilarious.

I bought a cheap t-shirt for him and he found a bathroom in a restaurant to wash up proper. Best time ever in Florida. I love my brother dearly by the way, nobody deserves this.

We'll never know how good that shit feels.

ever take your excess sac and cover all of your junk with it?

Try one of these subthreads