ChoosingBeggars

Found this on r/dankmemes

Found this on r/dankmemes

This was originally on choosingbeggars, should have stayed on dankmeme.

That final lol.

I try not judging books by their cover, but you just know this persons life will be an overall negative to humanity.

When you add "lol" at the end, it means that people automatically take your shame offer as a joke. Thus, sparing you the embarrassment. But only if they intended to say no anyway.

Tried selling a car on Facebook, it went downhill very quickly

Tried selling a car on Facebook, it went downhill very quickly

How.do.i.use.a.spacebar.?

I feel your pain, I’ve been there recently. I had to hang up on a bloke who called about my car, I’d said my lowest was £2100 but he kept repeating “2 grand cash” like a flipping parrot. When I said no to £2000 for the one millionth time he said he’d pay me “2grand cash fair and square” as I sounded like a nice lady?! Facebook market place gibbon!

I wonder if they're perpetually confused about their text turning into links.

Selling cars online is the worst. I moved to another country a few years ago and my parents used my car for a few months before deciding to sell it. It was in absolutely immaculate condition, and we wanted $3000 for it. The car was in better condition with less mileage on it AND was cheaper than any other similar car advertised in their area.

A man came, did a test drive, loved it, offered $2800 which dad accepted and said he’d be back the next day with cash. Deal done. Old mate came back the following day with his brother, took another test drive, opened up the bonnet to look at the engine, spoke to his brother in their native language for a while then handed dad $1500 and said that’s all they’d give him as it “wasn’t fast”. My dad’s reply was that it was a Mazda2 with a 1.5L engine, were they suddenly expecting a race car? (side note: that car drove beautifully and was not “slow” in the slightest). He said they’d already done a deal and he wasn’t selling for that price. Dad handed the cash back, took the keys from their hands, locked the car and walked inside the house and left these guys standing in his front yard.

Pretty much the exact same thing happened the next day. And so dad was fuming and sick of it. He called me and said if a young girl, like I was when I bought that car, came to check it out and was polite, he’d give it to her for whatever she offered which I agreed with.

Next day, a 16 year old learner driver arrived to look at it. Was so, so excited and loved the car, her parents told her it was her money so she had to negotiate herself and she offered dad $1200 for it (which I’m sure she was expecting to get knocked back). Dad handed her the keys and away she went.

There is SUCH a difference between being a complete dick about these things versus being polite. And I do love knowing that polite people get rewarded from time to time when it always seem like arseholes get what they want.

It’s a win-win situation

It’s a win-win situation

"exploit these talents" is actually very honest wording

Look. You'll never wear the dress again. The tie will get stained or old. The flowers will die. The food and alcohol will be gone. The centerpieces will be dismantled, trashed, recycled, or sold. Do you know what you get to keep? Pictures. (And your spouse, if all goes well). Those pictures of your first dance, the first look, your family, you and your spouse making vows... Those memories are PRICELESS. I wish I'd spent more time taking pictures because those first moments of being married are so beautiful and precious to me. I'd love to have a thousand photographs to relive that special time.

Pay a photographer. A good photographer. It's worth it.

Yes, it is a complete waste of money to pay people for their time and talent...what is wrong with people?

lah!

A one time passenger wants to sue my wife driving for a wreck.

A one time passenger wants to sue my wife driving for a wreck.

Why sue the victim? If she thought she was hurt at the scene she should have called the police and ambulance and contacted the insurance company of the guy that hit them.

Not the same, but a few years ago my mom hit a parked car in a McDonald’s parking lot while I was with her in the car. The owner of the car was standing outside the building but his driver side door was left wide open. While pulling into the spot next to him my mom couldn’t see the door was open and hit it, though there wasn’t any damage to the door or my moms car. The guy ran from the building and started cussing out my mom and demanding money, we weren’t even out of the car yet.

Well long story short, he called my mom a bitch and she was mad. She decided, sure. You want to get money for the accident? We can make a report of what happened and involve insurance. He quickly changed his mind but at this point my mom was on the phone with the police. They come out, write a report on the accident, and lo and behold the guy she hit doesn’t have insurance!

He was given a ticket costing around 1k and the officer determined it was a no fault accident. Around a week later, this guy’s mom calls mine. (He was at least in his mid 20s) His mom says that ever since the accident he’s been having headaches and neck pains, and she demanded cash to pay for doctors appointments. My mom cracked up and told her to fuck off too, he wasn’t even in the car when she hit it!

Just looking for someone to sue for a ka-ching! Typical, unfortunately.

The OP’s wife is clearly at fault for inviting someone to lunch 🙄

"I'm coming now"

"I'm coming now"

So did he come?

No he read my message and then left the conversation.

Aggressive bargaining!

I came though

Had it then lost it.

Had it then lost it.

Haha looks like she dodged a bullet

She's got greater things of concern to attend to than dirty dishes. First port of call was probably the emergency room to get her arm reattached after having to chew it off to get the hell out of there on the sly.

I never feel the need to clean up someone else's mess when I go to their place. Who am I to judge maybe they like it like this or have some kind of system. Not my house not my problem.

Girl took one look at that and NEXT!

Artists hate this one negotiating trick

Artists hate this one negotiating trick

Beggar uses Blue Ball Bargain!

It is ineffective!

"No, but I will do half as much work as originally stated, for twice the original quote. ALL up front."

Seller used “No.” It’s super effective! CRITICAL HIT!

Andrew Huang yessss

For those asking for an update on the Xbox One X beggar, here’s the rest of the conversation. Have heard from her since.

For those asking for an update on the Xbox One X beggar, here’s the rest of the conversation. Have heard from her since.

Well you have the address now, send her a glitter bomb

people like this just really confuse me. what happened in their childhood that made them grow up to be someone like that

I stopped talking to this woman afterwards btw. And the Xbox One X has been sold.

Their parents gave them everything they asked for while simultaneously failing to emphasize just how lucky they were to be getting those things. Result: They hit adulthood with the idea that all you have to do is ask for shit, and the universe will provide.

This sub lately

This sub lately

Someone finally said it

Do you have proof that this is fake?

/sub/badfaketexts

Something like "my kid has cancer" "my kid is disabled" "you ruined his christmas" or "he is crying now" is also added at the end for bonus cringe

Lady saw my ad for an Xbox One X I was selling, demanded it for free

Lady saw my ad for an Xbox One X I was selling, demanded it for free

Wow, flawless tactic. Wonder how often that works for them.

I would love to see a YouTube channel where someone finds choosy beggars like this, agrees to all of their asshole demands, then meets them in person delivering an empty box or something and films the reaction. The amount of schadenfreude I would get from that would be off the charts.

EDIT: Since people are seeing this, please DM me your tips for making Thanksgiving stuffing a day in advance. This is not innuendo for getting weird shit in my inbox. I have become the choosy beggar.

Sounds like someone wants to be mailed a glitterbomb.

The fucking balls on this one.

Try one of these subthreads