CasualUK

Wilko needs to give their design team a raise

Wilko needs to give their design team a raise

They should have had an ant there as well

I taught the daughter of Lisa Wilkinson (sole owner of Wilko’s now) to drive. They have the most amazing house you’ve ever seen, and are worth a few quid.

I proper rate Wilko's it's got everything you need and its proper cheap too

The fat bastards have sat on them

Opened up a pack of Aldis own salt and shake crisps, maybe I should stick the lottery on.

Opened up a pack of Aldis own salt and shake crisps, maybe I should stick the lottery on.

Please tell me there was just 1 crisp.

I was hoping for a response to this. Been a hour now, OP has probably OD’d on salt.

Blood pressure in a bag. Choose your level.

Several free packets of salt.

Hold my towel, I'm going in

Hold my towel, I'm going in

You know the drill, straight to the anus.

BOW DOWN BEFORE ME MORTALS

I HAVE ASCENDED

I AM DEAD AND I AM RISEN

I AM BECOME MINTANTITRI

BASK IN MY GLORY

FOR I AM GODDESS OF REFRESHMENT

The problem with that stuff is you can't clean your tackle with it as the slightest hint of it near the japs eye is like pissing meat cleavers.

You’ve really never heard japs eye? That’s the only term I know for it, think it’s considered an offensive term for it now.

Whenever I see the massive long crowds of people walking to a match, I wonder how many people you'd need to redirect before everyone else starting following them like a line of ants and you could lead them all into a trap

Whenever I see the massive long crowds of people walking to a match, I wonder how many people you'd need to redirect before everyone else starting following them like a line of ants and you could lead them all into a trap

90% of them are just following everyone else, after all

Couple of guys in hi vis jackets could get it going pretty easily too.

We did something similar when we were bored once.

Get a few of you and just stand in the street pretending to be looking at something, say at the top of the building. Point occasionally and put your hand over your eyes and squint whilst staring off into the distance.

Within a minute of two you’ll have a merry little gang of strangers around you also staring off into the distance trying to work out what is so exciting.

Then just walk away.

I always wondered how long it went on for once I’d left.

You can get away with anything in a high viz.

In a previous life we’d have to trace pollution and you could be stood in someone’s back garden holding a sledge hammer and crow bar and of course the magic high viz (you would knock but half the time no one would answer so you could legally continue), and eventually someone would sheepishly come out and say ‘I’m sorry to disturb you, obviously whatever you’re doing is important but I was wondering what you were up to in my garden’. I could never work out why they weren’t a little more ‘direct’.

Would definitely work for away fans, especially as the marker-point of floodlights in the sky are gone from most grounds.

I found a Smarties box in my loft that expired in 2004

I found a Smarties box in my loft that expired in 2004

Too people who are asking if I ate any sorry to disappoint you but I did what any normal person would've done... waited for my mates to get drunk and gave them to them

Only best before, Are you tasting them?

Eh, If they don't look mouldy give 'em a shot. It's all good training for the old immunue system.

Give them to Ashens

It’s the public transport code

It’s the public transport code

I've even accidentally sent a false alarm to the person next to me trying to get something out of my bag.

“Thanks cheers yeah thank you thanks”

Hahaha this is so accurate.

Don't forget to say thanks multiple times afterwards.

Happens on a daily basis to me!

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

EWE SHALL NOT PASS!

FTFY

It's sick how they involve children as well. Circle of crime

This is a classic ambush. You stop for the lone sheep, waiting for it to move. Meanwhile, a flock sneaks up from the rear while your attention is elsewhere. Next thing you know, you're on your face on the tarmac and they've all piled in and driven over the cattle grid to new pasture.

There were a gang of them near here a few weeks back, causing havoc in the rush hour.

https://i.imgur.com/tmobL2U.jpg

There were a gang of them near here a few weeks back, causing havoc in the rush hour.

Devastating photo.....RIP good sir....

Devastating photo.....RIP good sir....

This is a much deeper bond than most people realise.

The Chuckle Brothers were genuine biological brothers (i.e. it wasn't just a dumb stage name like Tom and Ed Chemical) who did everything together. Barry and Paul even took regular private holidays with each other.

He's lost his brother, his comedy partner, probably his best friend in the whole world. And what a lot of people don't know is that there was another non-famous Elliott brother who died circa 2014 after a quiet, anonymous life working as a motor mechanic.

my mate saw them in majorca in a lime green lambo

edit: just been made aware it was a yellow lambo in kefalonia

To me....

):

One of the few celebrity deaths that really made me sad. Their act was simple but brilliant and they managed to keep it going for so long.

I smirk every time I see the ‘please let me pull out’ sticker on the busses.

I smirk every time I see the ‘please let me pull out’ sticker on the busses.

Unfortunately no one has been using that method in Cinderford

You would really like this then

Especially not with their blood relatives!

Are you from Gloucester? Its always Gloucester that brings that up 😂.

Cracking reviews

Cracking reviews

I suspect it doesn't take that much digging to find out he's ex-forces.

Bob sounds like a fella

Please tell me every review is someone invariably ‘uncovering with some digging’ that Bob is ex-forces.

Image Transcription: Google Review

The Nags Head, Enderby

41 Cross St, Enderby, Leicester

4.6 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 60 reviews

Dan Sharpe

1 review

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 2 months ago

Cracking place. Went in for a beer after a hard day's work. Told my mate I was tired and an elderly gentleman who I later found is named Bob overheard and told me "You don't know you've been born son. I'm a pensioner and I rise at 0430hrs every morning ready for shadow boxing & press ups at 0500hrs".

This pep talk truly changed my life and after digging very deep I managed to find out that Bob is actually Ex-Forces (Northern Ireland height of the troubles. Worst time to be there). Amazing how he didn't mention it until asked and became very embarrassed when I offered to buy him a pint.

5 starts would visit again. Cheers Dan.

tom

7 reviews 180 photos

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 13 hours ago

Lovely visit to this establishment. Went in and order a pint of their finest Fosters when an elderly gentleman interjected and suggested ditching the 'pointless fizzy piss' and that i should instead opt for a pint of the pubs speciality, Tiger ale. He told me it was a mans drink and would put hairs on my chest. When asked, he told me his name was Bob and ,with a bit of digging, that he was ex forces. He left shortly after due to being up at 04:45 for his daily workout. Puts us youngsters to shame. Would highly recommend the ale, the pub and the bantz!!❤ Bob

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