[WP] You can stop time as long as you hold your breath. You have trained yourself to hold your breath for a maximum of 3 minutes at a time & today is the day you break out of prison.

[WP] You can stop time as long as you hold your breath. You have trained yourself to hold your breath for a maximum of 3 minutes at a time & today is the day you break out of prison.

The thing about holding your breath, is that you don't have to do it for long to have the desired effects, just a few seconds is enough for most things you can think about, bullets coming at you? you stop breathing instinctively, move a step to the left, and release. That's how I was able to almost rob that bank, but stupid me tripped over the stairs going out and hit my head pretty strong, that's how they got me.

Of course they had no clue of how I did it. But my leg was broken and I couldn't walk away, so I had to wait, and while waiting in the hospital I practice and practice, holding my breath for 10 seconds, holding it for 20, for 30, a minute, and so on.

This messed up the hospital employees, I did recovered "faster" than I should, maybe because half a day I spent holding my breath in and out, 10 seconds not breathing, 10 seconds doing so, doesn’t sound like much, but boy they add up.

Three days after I got in the hospital I had already used 5 days of actual body time. I know I shouldn't use my powers like that, I get older faster than anyone around me, but this time I had no choice.

Ten days later for everyone and my leg is almost in perfect condition, the doctors are freaked out, they want to keep investigating me. But the police says that if I don't need to be here I should go to jail, after all keeping me in the hospital means a lot of money for the state.

I've trained over this days, I can keep my breath for longer than ever before, three whole minutes, three of them, you have an idea what I can do with that much time? But of course it's three minutes while in a bed, not walking or stepping on freaking stairs, and my leg is not perfect yet, I have a cast after all.

Last night when the police men came to check me before my check out I stole some handcuff keys, it was rather easy indeed. At six AM of the next day they came for me. But I had a plan.Keep your breath a second move to the left, duck, wait until they move forward, keep your breath for six seconds find a new place to hide, do it. They open the door from outside, it's wide open, but the next part is tricky, there is a passage way, 20 metres long, and other door in the other end, that door wont open until this one closes, shit my luck, I don't see a place to hide in the passageway, I'm fucked.

I looked back at the door currently open, 20 seconds had pass, I start to worry, there is two cameras in the passage way looking from each door, I can't hide behind the officers while they walk, the people looking the cameras will see me...

I go back to the previous room and hide again from the officers view, I start to breath out and let time flow, "shit fuck shit fucking fucking shit" I think masterfully, "fucking shit".

I look back at the room I was kept in, we are inside the prison, somehow I though I was on a standard hospital, but no, its just an infirmary in the prison complex, "shit my luck" I say. The officers haven't yet passed the first door, the officer whose keys I took is looking for them rather anxiously.

"What the fuck Johnny, don't tell me you've lost your keys again?" the other officer asked, "No!, I had them I'm sure" says Johnny, and he turns back and goes to my room, "FUCKING SHIT" I say, I had to either go back to the room or use this time as an opportunity, I decided the later and went back to the long corridor room I stood behind the second officer and let my breath go really slow, time started to pass and the first officer got into my room, and then darted back out in a flash, "HE'S N--" I stop breathing and moved, hopefully, out of his line of sight, this meant that I was visible to the cameras, but I decided that I'd have to live with that, "--OT IN HIS ROOM" ended Johnny, "What?!" asked the other officer and started to run toward the room, "fuck my luck, fuck it" I though again. "He is behind you!" said Johnny, as expected. I stopped my breath and face palmed reprieving an instinct of moaning right then. I walked back to the room and took the second officer's belt out of his pants, I made a fast choker with it and put it in his neck, then I said "You don't want to fuck with me" while choking him out of air, then I moved to Johnny and did the same. It was surprisingly easy, and seeing someone pop out and pop in in different places was much more mind fucking than just getting choked, but both did a lot of work.

Both officer where trying to remove the belts of their necks while looking at me, I kept holding my breath and walking form here to there just to fuck with them, "Open the second door" I said. They both looked at me with surprise in their faces and said nothing, "OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR" I said getting angry. "We-" Johnny started to say and I stopped time and walked up to his face "- can' AAAAAAAAH FUCK DON'T DO THAT".

"Open the door", I said calmly. "We can't it opens from outside"

I looked at them both and decided that if I was already fucked I might as well just do something crazy, so I started time hopping again from here to there looking for stuff to tie them up, I grabbed the officer whose name I didn't knew and dragged him to the middle of the passage way, tied him down and repeated it with Johnny. It took me about 5 minutes to do all that, but for them I did it in 20 seconds or so, and then I waited until the radio on one of the officers called "Johnny, Steven, What the hell is going on?" I grabbed the radio and said "I'm sorry, they can not answer right now, open the door and I'll let them go" the voice in the radio said "What? Who are you? How are you doing this?" I wasn’t about to answer those questions so instead I went and busted both cameras, well I say busted, but they where inside this pretty little cages that I could not touch so instead I taped a piece of fabric over them so they could not see what was going on in the room, I wished I had though of that before all this bullshit happened.

Then I waited, its weird to wait for normal time to move around you, but I couldn't hold my breath on that, after 10 minutes I heard the door start to open and I moved right next to it. I tried to open it but some locks where still on place, I let some more time go by and tried again. It moved! I almost cried of happiness but that would be really stupid of me, instead of that I opened the door, but shit it was heavy, I had to use all my energy and got really winded up at it. I hide behind it and took a deep breath, the prison personal screamed when they saw the door suddenly open from their perspective. Having recovered my breath I looked back at the officers in the door, they had formed a semicircle around it pointing their guns, silly shit really, I just walked around them and went forward, looked for a nice place to hide for a few minutes, there was a desk near the door, where the officer in charge of opening it usually seated, I hide under it now and let time go around me.

My leg was pulsating, my hands hurt from pushing that stupid steel door and my lungs where screaming at me that this wasn't natural, I agreed.

Around me was a pandemonium, the officers where shocked that the door suddenly opened and almost shot the officers in the passageway, there where screams and calls for order, they started to look around for me, but no one expected me to be so close to them so they went ahead, I took that as an opportunity and followed them around, the majority seemed to be running toward the exit, assuming I knew where it was, so I used them as guides, follow, hide, breath, repeat.

Suddenly I was at the front door, there was generalized chaos at this moment, so I just walked away, and once in the front door I held my breath for as long as I could while walking away, my hurting leg, and my complaining lungs none the better for it, but I was free... for now.

Sorry, English is not my native language and my verbs are all over the place

EDIT: fixed chocked for choked

This is amazing. It was thrilling from beginning to end. There are a few mistakes here and there, but if you keep writing, you will improve. I hope that I can read more of your work in the future :)





The way I read it, the spelling errors added character to the inmate.

The story was very good. I was willing to forgive the spelling errors even before I read that English is not your first language. Well done!

There is a crack in the ceiling from, what I'm assuming is, a leaking pipe that was never fixed. The water is pooling and dropping onto the floor, playing a steady beat to fill the silence. I am lying on my lumpy bed and staring at the dripping water, letting it take me away into a trance. I remember the first time that I opened my eyes while swimming underwater. I had begged my mom for a snorkel mask moments before we took off for our vacation. I was 9. My dad helped me adjust the straps so that I wouldn't get any salt water in my eyes and off I ran towards the water. We were on an island off Florida particularly known for its shell hunting and I had been reading shell identification books to prepare myself. I took a few deep breaths followed by one large inhale and then I held my breath and dove beneath the surface. At first, I only saw a grainy darkness. It looked as though I had buried my head under the sand. After moving my head around, I realized that I was in a cloud of disturbed sand, but something was off. The sand wasn't settling. The sand from where I had moved my head had been moved to the side, but remained frozen in place. Confused, I swam out of the cloud and towards the sunlight. The cloud of sand thinned out and eventually became glitter as I swam towards a clear patch. The glittering sand opened up and before me was a sight that would've taken my breath away in a different situation. Shells of all shapes and kinds were suspended in the water, most of which were in perfect condition. I felt my body ache as I realized that, while everything was frozen, I still needed to breathe. I scooped a handful of shells into my bucket and kicked off the ocean floor and up the seemingly endless 5 feet. I couldn't believe what I had just seen. Had it not been for some of the most beautiful shells in the ocean right there in my bucket, I would've thought I had imagined the whole thing. Time froze when I go underwater. I don't know how or why, but it did. I dove again and again and was rewarded with similar experiences and found some amazing shells. Several dives later, I was coming out from a cloud of sand and found myself face-to-face with a tiger shark. My heart shot up to my throat and I took off towards the shore. I didn't start gasping for breath until I was safely out of the water. While that experience limited my time spent underwater that day, it showed me this amazing ability that I have. Time stops as long as I am holding my breath. That power can also be used with malicious intent, as I was soon about to discover. The water keeps dripping onto the floor and I look over at the clock on the wall. 2:13 a.m. I take a deep breath to calm my nerves. No use being short of breath at a time like this. I have everything set for me to go at exactly 3:30 a.m. When you're insanely bored and in a new place, what better thing to do than develop a new hobby? Mine is people watching. I know exactly where all the guards were going to be and by which door. I also know which security cameras I had to duck under and which to temporarily cover. I know exactly what I needed to do and when and I could do now is wait. Wait...and breathe. So now to answer the obvious question, which is, how did my life go from shells to shit? Well, unfortunately this is real life and some real nasty shit happens to good people. Double unfortunately for me; those people happened to be my parents. I was with them in the car that day. They were arguing because my dad had missed the exit and there was no place to turn around for a long time because we were in the mountains. On either side of us, the ground dropped away forming steep cliffs. I had my earbuds in and was reading a book. I heard a loud honking and glanced up to see that my view and my father's view were obstructed by the map that had flown out of mom's hands. Behind the map I saw headlights growing dangerously closer and in that moment of panic, I tried to hold my breath to see if I could fix the problem. Due to my state of panic, I wasn't able to focus, let my breath go, and we collided with a car and went spinning toward the railing. Time froze again. This time I was determined to find some way, any way to get us all out safely. I crawled out of the back seat and started by grabbing the map off the windshield glass. I then went crawl out of the car and when I looked around, my heart sank. I was a bit too late in holding my breath and we were in midair, already about 5 feet from the road and railing. I could jump for it and make it, but there's no way I could throw my parents. There wasn't any rope, and I already felt my body begin demanding oxygen. I leapt for the railing and held on desperately after my fingers made contact. The jump had triggered me to start breathing again and I spun around to watch my parents' car spin off out of view. I could've saved them. Had I held my breath just a moment sooner, I could've dragged them out of the car. If only I would've just trained more. I could've been more prepared. All these thoughts swirled around my mind, but the only thing I could do was just fall back onto the street and sob until the police came and took me away. You've heard a lot, so I'll save you the story of me being passed through foster homes, but I'll just say that it didn't do much to help my depression. I lost touch with reality and was very apathetic towards everything. This was how I allowed myself to use my ability to get what I wanted. It started small; me stealing a pair of new shoes from the store and being far away 3 minutes later when I finally took a breath. My experience in the water inspired me to be a swimmer, so holding my breath was no sweat. Eventually, though, I made my way up to large sums of money from stores or banks. I guess, towards the end, a part of me wanted to get caught. I stopped being so careful around security cameras and became arrogant. It was this arrogance that eventually lead to my arrest. Prison was one of the best things that could have happened to me. I met with a psychiatrist and, while I never explained my power, they were able to help me see that it wasn't my fault. I was young and under pressure and just because I have this ability, doesn't meant that I am meant to alter everyone's reality. Some people die in car crashes, others cancer or old age. I don't get to play 'God' in every situation and I can't feel bad when I fail. This ability just gives me a second chance or better yet, award others with a second chance if they need help. That second chance can't always be obtained. 3:25 a.m. I am ready to get out. I have pretty much filled you in on all of the essentials. After stealing all that money, I was given 25 years. I honestly would stick around if I was a 'normal' person, but I think I've made it very clear that I'm far from it. I have decided to turn over a new leaf. It's time to start using my ability to help people and give them the chance that I couldn't give my parents. My final crime was holding my breath to steal this pen and paper from the front desk. I hope whoever finds this will at least be entertained my my ridiculous, almost fictitious life. Oh yeah, I almost forgot. My name is Jesse. 3:30 a.m. Deep breath. Here we go.

I want to play this.

They say time slows to a crawl when all you do is wait,

but it always flies by when I hyperventilate.

And nobody will you save you in here, so don't you hold your breath,

Life will pass before your eyes, the years will beat you to death.

But I got a gift that lets me savor the moment,

With a lack of oxygen as my only true opponent.

I got one-eighty seconds to turn my life around,

To freeze over this hell before it burns to the ground.

So clap your hands and let the beat ring true,

Now watch the clock stop as my face turns blue.

Call me David Blaine and watch my greatest trick,

I'll be gone from my cell when the large hand forgets to tick.

And Gone in Sixty Seconds used to be all the rage,

I might need two extra minutes but I still do it like Cage.

Time might fly like an arrow, but it's stuck in the air,

I could grab the apple from Will's head and switch it with a pear.

I'm 90 seconds in now, feelin light in the head,

The dogs would be barking if they weren't busy playing dead.

The guards are statues in this rift in time and space,

They cage me in breathless agony, but stay in their place.

I'm out the front door, and start to gasp for air,

The world resumes again and the sirens start to blare.

But I'm off into the night now, I'll take freedom or death,

I'm my own destiny's child, it only cost me my breath.

I see you have obtained mastery over the two most important words in the English language, shit and fuck. It was actually pretty funny to read everyone cursing at nothing.

...Shit good point. I wanna see Ubisoft do something with it though. If nothing else they do good sandboxes that'd be find to diddle around in with a one-off power like this.

In vr, maybe it would be possible to track you breathing?

April, 23, 2016

I was transferred to South Central after a riot broke out in the east branch.

A massive gang war ensued after a high ranking crip and his "bodyguards" suddenly fell and bled out in broad daylight. Every investigator that was responsible for finding evidence left empty handed.

One of the people that made a generous offer for this job squealed to the head of internal affairs.

The day after the riot I was awakened by S.O.R.T. pinning me against the floor of my cell with a stun shield.

I was transferred to South Central an hour later.

April, 24, 2016

I am taken from classification to a place known as Skylab. In my two years incarcerated, I have never seen a place with security this tight. One of the guards behind me start talking on his radio as we approach the door to this fortress. After a loud buzz the guard ahead of me pushes the door open where I find three more guards dressed like they are in a war zone.

After being handed off and strip searched I was taken to an empty cell that was shockingly small. It must have been 5 feet by 4 feet at most. The only features to the cell were stains on the walls and ceiling, and the window that was basically a tiny hole I could look at a brick wall through.

This is going to get old pretty damn fast.

April, 25, 2016

A guard knocks on my door to offer me a chance to get a shower. I gladly take it. While I am cleaning up I hear a lot of chatter on a guard's radio. I hear someone scream "Code 1, Tango, Delta, 261!" and the guard I was watching started sprinting for the door.

The sudden realization hit me that now was my chance.

I waited for the door to the pod to start closing behind the guard and held my breath. I wanted to keep my distance because I figured anyone watching the cameras were fixated on the guards responding. Once out of the pod I make my way to the closest empty room. exhale I watch the guard yelling over the radio waiting for the first exit to unlock. I watch for the door closing behind him and hold my breath once again. I have to break my rule and stand directly behind him in this room smaller than my cell. exhale The door slams shut behind us and the guard bolts out the next door with me on his heels. hold I look at the cloudy sky for the first time in a short eternity. I see the bordering fences and notice this will be the greatest challenge since I discovered my ability. Two fences with razor wire at the base and tops. exhale

After pulling the same trick to get through a few gates, I find myself lost. I have been holding my breath for about 3 minutes and I discover this hell also has a Special Operations Response Team. Standing 20 feet in front of them I exhale. The shock on their faces as a man appears out of thin air is beyond words. I continue to disappear and appear before them for about 10 seconds. hold

I found the building S.O.R.T. came out of and figured it could be the exit. exhale I am going to wait for someone to notice me chilling by this gate. Less than a minute goes by before an alarm sounds and I have squads of S.O.R.T. at every direction. One squad is at the other side of the gate and they play right into my hands. The gate starts to open and as soon as it is wide enough hold I walk right past them. I push the door to the building but it isn't moving. exhale "Later, bitches!", I yell at the armored lunatics with my hand on the door. They start running towards me hold

exhale Now I'm behind them, they open the door. hold I enter behind them and into what looks like the home stretch. exhale I trip one of them to get their attention. They turn around to see me smiling ear to ear. "Thanks for the help", I say. hold

I stand at the front desk looking down at the security officer. exhale "Hey, the hospitality was great but the food fucking sucks. I'll make sure to submit a Yelp review." hold

The first bit about the shells and the description of the sandy water was really good


The part with the parents dying was really well written, and a good inspiration for the rest of the story

There's only so much you can plan on. All I learnt from my years planning heists could be boiled down to that. You could know the routes the guards walked, know where was safe to stop and catch your breath, but theory never meets practise as neatly as it should.

I figure it's a sort of fight or flight response, something that triggers given a deep enough fear. Started as a child, tossed in the deep end of the pool to learn how to swim. Didn't work, but I did learn something even better. I thrashed around as I sank, taking in water until, as my dad dove for me I stopped trying to scream in favour of holding my breath. He froze. I reached for him, in awe until my burning lungs gave in to the cough welling inside me. Never went back in the water after that.

The plan was simple. Probably my most simple plan. On the walk from the cell to court, hold my breath, grab Dean's keys, walk through the double doors, through the office, and out to freedom.

But there is only so much you can plan on, and I certainly hadn't planned on one of the desks in the office being pulled away from the wall slightly. As my knee connected with the corner of the desk I took in a short, sharp breath through gritted teeth. I tried to make a run for it, but the bullet to the chest punctured my lung.

Falling, I was already curious. Time stops when I hold my breath, what happens when when I have no breath left to hold? I've been wondering that for the last 6 months.

That was a really interesting story! Well written and very entertaining.

I was really wanting him to trip on the way out of the prison and bust his other leg.


"chocked" should be "choked" Fantastic story otherwise!

Gracias! I'll try.

My main issue that stops me from writing more is that I find it really hard to create different voices for my characters, they all sound the same and that breaks the whole thing for me.

Actually, Superhot is now also available as VR Game. It is amazing. https://www.oculus.com/experiences/rift/1012593518800648/

I would watch the fuck outta this movie.

Damn, that would be awesome