Worth it

Worth it

teach me master how to have 4 tinder notifications

For a long time I've wondered which is better life advice, "lower your standards" or "hit the gym".

Can't tell if she gets that all the time or just doesn't have a sense of humor

Hit the gym for sure. Cause then if you still don't get matches, you can lower your standards.

I'd be shocked if she doesn't get that constantly

I was just curious as to what the weather was like for today. Technically she wasn't wrong, it's cold af.

You should have said "Alexa, what is on my schedule for tomorrow?" and if she's smooth she can go "You have a date scheduled with Alexa at 6:00 pm. Would you like to confirm?"

Partly cloudy with a 100% chance of not getting laid

Hit the gym for sure

Have hit Gym

if you still don't get matches, you can lower your standards

So 1 match a month is a pretty good rate right?

real world dating

Oh right, that...

How do you meet people irl again?

Reset your account. Also, do profile reviews, because your profile might just suck.

Always use tinder as a supplement to real world dating. It's the secret third rule.

Be attractive.

Don't be unattractive

Hell, my name is Alexis and I get it too.

Alexis, what's the weather like for tomorrow?

Typically conversations don't start halfway down the page. Stop being a butt queef and show your grovelling response OP

Go outside.



ooh wheee

Yeah... asking for a friend.

In all seriousness I did meet a girl by simply chatting her up in the bookstore a few weeks ago. We went on a few dates and it was fun but she left to go to Korea for study abroad.

It's tough but also more fun. I get too upset and down on myself from the apps, either from not getting matches (I'm ugly), not getting replies after my first message (I'm lame or ugly on second glance), or not getting the date (I'm not interesting.)

In real life the success rate is higher (if you chatted up 100 girls in a day like right swipe there's no fucking way you wouldn't at least get a conversation), and I also find it easier to be rational about why I was rejected. The downside is it takes more time/effort and it's a totally random crapshoot, you have no idea what kind of person you're talking to.

Considering there are about 500 posts on /sub/tinder of people thinking they're clever by using this line (or something like it), I'm going to guess the former.

And another Alexa bugging...

Well, I told her "Gig'em" but that was kinda that....

If I fuck a kid, that makes me a pedophile.

But if a kid fucks me, I'm a pedophile again?

Twice in one week? What the fuck?!

Nothing to do with sports. Alexa is the name of Amazon's equivalent of Siri, so if you say "Alexa, what's the weather like tomorrow", Alexa says "Tinypeeb, the weather is shit, stay inside" or something similar

Weird. Usually when I do that, they start yelling, "Help I'm being harassed I need an adult!"

Gosh, 6 year olds these days.

At least the sun won't be shining on my disappointment.

You're not dumb, you just don't use Alexa or read about it on the internet. You're still a swell person.

I mean damm. Just wow. I mean would I not have taken it? Hell no. But still. Dammm.

Well now I just feel dumb.

Hitting the gym is great...but as I've gotten older (I'm 29) I've found the women I want are more interested in interesting, stylish, smart men who can show them new things and be fun. Sure, some of their boyfriends are "handsome" but probably not even close to what people in this sub are imagining. If your personality sucks, you're completely fucked.

With a chance of thunderstorms.

Alexis Texas

I'm not even called Alexa and I'm sick of this joke

Wow those should be rules or something

Alexa is a virtual personal assistant, similar to Siri, Google Assistant, Cortana, and Bixby. You shout commands at Alexa by saying "Alexa, what is the capital of Peru?" or "Alexa, play 'Sandstorm' by Darude".

The girl reacted like that because she has likely heard that line many times before and is tired of it.

Wait, you talked to a girl who was doing something other than nothing at all? They hate that!

Definitely the profile review. My bio is the opening lines of Bee movie. Bitches love Bee movie.

Aggies <3

Thanks & Gig'em

After hearing the same thing a thousand times, you get very irritable.

fellow Aggie reporting for duty !

Go outside.

See girl.


Hitting the gym works, I started working out almost a year ago, and now when I go out there's always at least one girl that'll start touching me and from there you have a really easy job. And I'm kinda shy so I never initiate anything, I literally do nothing and they just come up to me.

I'm not trying to humblebrag, I even switched to my throwaway account so I don't even have a reason to brag, I'm just trying to give you advice, things like that had never happened to me before, so working out definitely helps.

Even if she gets that all the time, that seems like a bit of an overreaction.

me_irl leaking

Yakuza taught me that shoving a few million bucks up your ass is a much more effective way to invest in yourself

Well, maybe you should try approaching girls.

He would have told us if he was a vegan.

It's different when it's a random person. Most people in bars and other social gatherings want to stick within their groups and most people outside in other public places are just wanting to do what they need to do and be left alone.

I actually died a few months back..

We gonna beat you in your own house this year!

Wow it's almost like personality plays a big part in talking to someone!

Alexa is the name of an 'AI' somewhat like the iPhone's 'Siri'. So when someone wants to know the weather and are lazy, they use voice-to-text and ask this question.

And since barely anyone has the name Siri, people just stick to Alexa and other more common named 'AI'

Psshhh. I have no idea who she is.

how do you live without whataburger

Are you trying to say that your penis is laugh material? 🤔

Are those rules assigned numbers, by any chance?

I almost never meet new people irl so that'll be tough.

Yeah but is tinder the medium of choice for those women? I feel like if you're going for that your best bet is real life.

The answer is hit the gym. The more you invest in yourself, the better!

My names Alexa and I get it constantly. It was funny at first but it's been happening for over 8 months now and I'm over it.

Do people actually meet people at bars? I only go with my friends and all the people I see there are with other people so it doesn't exactly seem like a great spot to mingle.

Sorry about the alcoholism, that's rough.

If your personality sucks, you're completely fucked.

thank you for reminding me.

Damn it Siri nobody asked you.

I swear I've never seen her rack in my life!

What is the joke? I googled the opening line and can't find it anywhere

.. I don't get it? Am I missing something?

Or he's likely a swell person, I mean you don't know if JacobCK617 is a serial killer or vegan etc.

About as subtle as this guy

About as subtle as this

You're more attractive in real life than on tinder. Maybe you'll get rejected, maybe not. Either way, it will teach you how dating dynamics are supposed to work and then you can take that experience and fine tune it on tinder.

Suddenly, you'll actually get laid.

Your first year of dating is usually the most awkward, best to get a dozen bad first dates out of the way quickly.

Don't know anything about sports. Can someone explain please?

It's August in Texas. I don't think it's gonna be cold

What like randos that I don't even know? That doesn't seem like a recipe for success.

brb going into forrest, getting bucks.