Wholesome dinosaur

Wholesome dinosaur

1492 on the coast of wherever Columbus landed. Imagine discovering a new world and there’s big ass lizards that eat people.

The set of Jurassic Park


sails home

And the natives lived happily ever after! Until the t-rex found them.

My friend, if we can rip a TRex from the past and put it anywhere in the timeline I’m sure it’s environmental needs would be taken care of by some kind of timey wimey something or other.

Edit- removed an L gifted to me by autocorrect.

I'd put it 65 million years ago just to fuck with palaeontologists.

That's one way to improve Chris Pratt's acting.

65 million is actually the right time period.

80 million is WAY too early.

Wouldnt the t-rex die fairly quickly if put anytime other than its own because of the different atmosphere?

Dinosaur lives matter

And that's how we domesticated chickens

I think it's a case of the script making him look bad

How about only 6 million just to make them wonder how one T-Rex managed to survive and live that long.

And you just gave hitler a trex like do you want him to win the war

Exactly, look at his role in Parks and Rec or Guardians of the Galaxy. He's a great actor.

The grand opening of the creationist museum

Right, the guy who went from homeless to A list movie star is a bad actor

Timely wimey stuff

How about last week

Elon Musk's house. That mofo would put a saddle on him and ride him into space.

Yeah, when he gets to improv he absolutely nails it. Lots of Marvel movies have more loose parts (Iron Man didn't even have a script), but I'm guessing Jurassic World was more strict because it has a different feel from the MCU and Parks and Rec.

Id pop him over to wherever Hitler was circa 1935

That's before Trex existed tho, it would be lonely

I feel like seeing a T-Rex pop into existence out of nowhere in front of you would make creationism seem more possible.

I’m sure the t-Rex wouldn’t need much time to wreck some havoc.

The airport where the 9/11 planes took off from. That'll stop them for a little at least.

I'm busy Sunday, how's Wednesday my dude?


This blooper from Parks and Rec shows off how funny he really is:

How about a minute ago

Before clicking, I'm guessing the "comeback story", the light switch, the accidental nude scene, or probably something else because Pratt is awesome

Edit: I was right

Would throwing a creature into an environment with which it is totally unfamiliar really be peaceful?


How about a minute from now

How about right now

Not bad.

Throw a trex to my house. I give him a back scratcher. He isn’t angry anymore. Peaceful.

It could happen.

And then none of us were ever born meaning the question was never asked and you never teleported a t-rex so therefore you were born but you become stuck in an infinite loop because you broke the simulation we're all probably living in right now


He was homeless? He must have been the most attractive hobo ever!

Are we not going to mention that the top reply to that comment says T-rex were 65-70 million years ago

If the idea is to cause chaos, put it at the school Bush 43 was at.

The attacks still happen, but everyone is so focused on the president and school children being cornered by a Trex it takes longer to realize the plane crashes aren’t sporadic accidents.

Only within like 7% of today’s oxygen which is not enough to kill anything. Eventually it might be exposed to a bacteria that it had no immunity to and would die though.

No lives matter

context : di is spanish for "say"

He’ll just have to masturbate.


How about next Sunday AD?

The comeback story is honestly the best blooper of all time.

The horror of the people watching the planes hit the twin towers and then boom, a fuckin T. rex is manically running down the street.

"Wait, I thought we were doing the plane thing..."

-Osama Bin Laden

Sometimes in marvel movies the script will pretty much just be saying what the actor has to do but the dialogue is up to them. Like that last scene in infinity war by Tom Holland was improved.

edit- see: Guy below me

Proceeds to change the entire history of the US


Shots fired

Wednesday won't work, NEXT!

Mmmmm.... timely wimey stuff

I don’t know about die but it would be fatigued very fast cause of the lower oxygen levels, also it might be smaller

Would definitely get rug burn on my upper lip.

You forgot “ I typed your symptoms into web md and it say you may have network connection issues”

That's what I thought. Like I think there was a lot more oxygen back then or something so it would probably die if it just randomly appeared today

That’s why you give him a map from Gori, Georgia 1878 with directions to get to Branau, Austria by 1889

Which then caused chaos.

He was homeless four years before he had a regular role in any show. Granted he has said he did enjoy his time homeless, but he didn’t already have money and just choose not to spend it, he was legitimately poor.

Are you familiar with the Dresden Files, perchance?


This is also true

“OMG! Giant ass-lizards!!” –Cristoforo Colombo


I get that you are probably trying to use it like improv'd, but it just looks like improved, as in "to improve something," and not as improv, which is short for improvisation. Like in talking conversation what you said would be pretty easily understood, but in writing it should be 'improvised."

Put it 6,000 years ago.

"I knew it!"


It’s a goddamn Dinosaur Laser Fight.

The day i found out some people don't beleve in Dinosaurs really opened my eyes to how stupid this world can be.

Look I'm lazy and didn't look it up myself

Wikipedia says 66-83 mill

Arguably, bacteria would have no adaptations to T-rexes, so there wouldn't be too many issues on that front. There could still be an off-chance of some bacterial/viral/etc. species having some "compatibility" with T-rexes, though.

They literally didn’t have a script, they planned out all the scenes, but with no script. https://www.google.com/amp/s/io9.gizmodo.com/5417310/jeff-bridges-admits-iron-man-movie-had-no-sc...

Wym iron man didnt even have a script.

What does "live in peace" really mean for a T-Rex?

I would send it to Pompeii the exact hour as it erupted. Everyone who dies gets to see a real dinosaur and for all of history it's ash mummified body would remain exactly as it was to confuse all historians about what Ancient Rome was really like.

This. Oh my goodness this.

Well an insect's oxygen intake is related to it's surface area, so if there's less oxygen, the surface area to volume ratio wouldn't be enough to keep a larger insect alive. I suppose it might have an effect on the T-rex, but that could probably just be mitigated by breathing harder.

Do I look like a timelord to ya son? Am I jumping around all timey-wimey from tree to tree?

Everyone would think Al Qaeda was cloning dinosaur terrorists. Imagine the false flag conspiracy theories.

You got it wrong dinosaurs like t.rex at the end of the Cretaceous had LESS OXYGEN than now, you are thinking on the giant bugs, thats when earth has a shitloadmore oxigen

Dine, olives matter

Avian Flus could probably do it

"Here be dragons"

But creationist don't disbelieve in dinosaurs...

Lower oxygen levels limits cell growth if I’m not mistaken, that’s why insects back then were so massive but I could be wrong

this guy just ignored the “to cause the most chaos” part hahaha

Well, he did have a pit to provide shelter at least.

Causing Havoc to lesser dinosaurs

cut back to modern day America: people hide in fear as SS troops patrol the streets on t-rexes.

Specifically, onto Flight 93.

“They’re saying the passengers overpowered the hijackers and brought the jet down”

“Yeah, I heard they shot it down, and the passengers story was to create heroes and martyrs out of tragedy”

“That ‘leak’ is just to hide the fact that there was a T-mofo-Rex in the passenger cabin”


But not everybody is from new england, my friend.

You gotta big couch

the guy who played Obadiah

You mean the Oscar-winning actor, Jeff Bridges?

This guy dinosaurs

BJ. They would give him a BJ.

Chris Pratt wasn’t in that movie.

It’s crazy that we are saying 66-83 million years ago. That’s still nearly 20 million years apart like wtf lmao that’s a long ass time. It makes me feel so insignificant.

Or the bacterias would be like "hello old friend 👋"