Analogy is spot on. That sentence you wrote is fucking terrible. My goodness.
In the middle of being terrible, it kept being fucking terrible.
Obligatory thanks for the gold.
Since we're helping, OP, the past tense of lead is led. Also, you should combine the first and second sentence into one.
Damn all you have to do is post something funny enough to get on the front page and you get free paper writing help! If only I was funny...
I know :(
Edit: thanks guys for being nice Also guys, she knows the edit feature, she just thought this would be more helpful.
Where did you get that analogy?? Or was it out of ur ass again.
OP writes at an 8th grade level
Damn, you're lucky your girlfriend isn't into brainy guys.
It's okay OP, public ridicule and shame is how we all grow and learn.
edit: http://imgur.com/a/6FHVE This is my whole paper, I do not need any help.
That he discovered while in Mt Wilson. The way you wrote it, the galaxies are in Mt Wilson.
I understood that reference!
I know right haha edit: http://imgur.com/a/6FHVE This is my paper. I am still working on it. I had too put two images in my paper also. I did not use anybody's work because I did not want to plagiarize. I do not care what grade I get. It is just a god damn 800 word extra credit paper and not some 10 page research paper. I am thankful for everyones help. Also I am tired as shit and do not care about my grammar on this post or sentence structure!
Probably teach her about Word's comment function though.
In the middle of posting this, OP posted this.
Wait, a comment where both "your" and "you're" are used correctly in the SAME SENTENCE?!?!
This paper's going to kick ass with 5000 proofreaders.
So, we're all going to copy this excerpt word for word and then post the papers online so OP gets tagged for plagiarism, right?
And eliminate extraneous thats. Hubble cited that the Andromeda Galaxy...
Basically any time you see the word "that," try removing it and see if the sentence still works. If so, remove it immediately. If not, try substituting a different word (cited that -> realized / discovered). Incidentally, I'm not sure you actually want cited anyways. Only after those checks should you keep the that.
I mean, there's plenty of other things to work on too :)
But this is a small, easy one.
edit: there is some dispute about the validity of the specific correction. I believe it is acceptable, but I'm not an English major. If it were me, I would remove "that" by reworking the sentence entirely.
Also note pksquared's comment below. Not all uses of "that" are bad! Many people (myself included) fall into a bad habit of sprinkling them everywhere, those are the bad uses.
Guess it'll teach him to proofread his shit one final time.
Or lack thereof.
Pretty sure by the time everyone is done editing it's gonna be flagged for plagiarism by showing up in google searches. Just scratch the whole thing and start over now.
Please no haha
You gotta really proof red good when your calling someone dumb on the internet.
They're both hints. Taken together, I think she wants to fuck the shit out of his ass while classifying galaxies.
The first one sounds like a hint. Hmmm…
Hey, wait a sec...
This. What if one of those were accidentally left in?
I'm not sure now :(, didn't know these were hints
At least you own it dude. Be grateful that you have a lady who's willing to take the time to fix you're atrocious writing, haha.
Edit: no edit. I am leaving it because I deserve all the shame that mistake brings down upon me.
There is no way in hell a teacher would think you plagiarised this. If they did, then they think awfully poorly of you.
Haha, no he will have two well written paragraphs in between pages of awful.
we are required to wrote at a 6th grade level
Keep up the good work!
And instead of "In a further analysis" you should simplify it to: "After further analysis"
Why can't people ever name their documents descriptively.
It's okay, OP...
This is a college paper?! Oh my...
Hubble used to be ground breaking. He still is, but he used to be, too.
I wonder if this thing will flag as plagiarized if enough people quote it on here.
OP ur sex life ok?
I know right!
Just a rough draft trust me I changed the name
It's not your fault.
Boi he got a word count to meet
I hope YOUR joking.
No, I'm telling you, it's not your fault.
Your gf is fantastic lmao
Where did u get this info? Or was it out of ur* ass again.
It's not your fault.
I'm getting serious anxiety over her comments. Like you're going to miss one obscene thing she might write and it'll be overlooked and end up in your final draft and then you fail the paper and flunk out and lose your scholarship and drop out and she's going to leave you for a guy who understands proper citation.
You are bad at writing bro
I don't know... let's find out. He developed a classification system for the galaxies that he previously discovered in Mount Wilson.
Proof read well. Superman proof reads good.
Should be a space after the period before By. No comma before the citation, should just be citation then a period and it should be led not lead! Just trying to help a brotha out ;)
IN THE MIDDLE OF BEING AN IDIOT, OP CONTINUED HIS WORK AT BEING AN IDIOT
Right when we teach him how to take a screenshot?
you know what OP, just post the entire thing and let reddit fix it all for you.
Her first correction is golden. It's like she's trying to dumb it down into guy talk. Hahaha
He mounted Wilson in the backseat of his Ford Galaxie.
It's all fun and games until your girlfriend with a straight face says "actually, that would be kind of hot."
Dude! This happened to me once! A professor gave us a bullshit assignment where we had to write three 1-page papers and the subject was simply "learn something" and cite your sources. Two of the papers had to be relevant to our field of study and the other one could be on literally anything.
So I was playing World of Warcraft pretty heavily at the time and I enlisted my clan to help me spec a hunter to run Karazhan... and that's what I wrote my paper on...just because. I listed my source as personal experience and the dickhead found my clan's forum, calculated how much of my paper was based on their input, and held me to the wall for plagiarism. Made me write a 10-page report on Ethics and Professionalism to avoid turning me over to the school's ethics counsel and possibly get booted from school.
Basically, just rewrite the whole fucking thing
Professor is going to wonder why one particular page has perfect grammar while the rest is terrible. Then plagarism software will throw up hundreds of perfect matches to that page online.
Seriously, the amount of basic shit that sucks about his paper pre-reddit is not a good sign for the rest of it.
"I didn't know Hubble fucked Andromeda. Nice plot twist!"
the dickhead found my clan's forum, calculated how much of my paper was based on their input, and held me to the wall for plagiarism.
Sorry, but that is fucking awesome!
Idk you should ask her
If only I were funny.
Does no one fucking proofread before hitting enter?
I don't. Huuuuuuu
Don't forget to include citations!
In the middle of understanding the reference, I continued to understand the reference.
Why would she add her comments like this instead of putting them in as real comments on the side of the screen?
Taking over after OP got tired of thanking people
ur usin 2mne letters
At least you fuck like a 10th grader.
Seems like something I'd accidentally write when I procrastinate 3,000 word essay, writing it all the night before in one go.
You're lucky. I work at a bank and I was told to write presentations for executives at a 5th grade level. Meanwhile, i'm thinking, "If the bank execs operate at a 5th grade level that explains the 2008 mortgage crisis."
I believe in you, OP.
It'll be just like the Boston bombers
If you show your penis to the world, will it grow larger then?
Asking for a friend.
But did u laugh the shit out of u, while laughing?
What's interesting to me is how easily word order changes meaning. For example, "In the middle of being terrible, it kept being fucking terrible" could become, "In the middle of being terrible, it kept being terrible fucking" while in other languages this might not matter at all.
That's one of the more acceptable non sequiturs I've seen lately. Nicely played.
I'm a technical writer and we are required to wrote at a 6th grade level due to foreign language.