To seal the deal

Nothing left to do but announce your move to Costa Rica, hop the fence, and bail

Arms-folded is not what a lady does when waving you in, what was he thinking.

This needs a NSFW, for the gore.


Came here to say this. "Arms crossed" is the bare minimum of body language that any human should pick up on.

What if you just find folded arms comfortable...oh God is that why Im single...


Oof... you can see her mouth the words "No, that's ok." right before.

I always felt like Toby should've gotten his own spinoff show

yes. don't ever do that. People think you don't want interaction.

Sigh...this is complicated.

His height begins with a 5 what did he expect?


He's gonna go home and rifle through all his back issue's of maxim to see what he did wrong

I think he was trying to discreetly suck away her life force through her head, but she clearly had some power that completely reversed it.

Because of Michael, I hated Toby passionately.

this was extremely painful

There was an episode of Blind Date where the dude made an insane number of attempts to kiss his date at the end of the night and she dodged every one of them. There was even a on-screen counter.

She's not facing you and she has her arms crossed, I don't understand why you would go in so strong for a kiss. I hope he wasn't too bummed about it though.

I didn't hate him until he made Dwight and Andy stop their Country Roads performance

it really fucking is. body language is very easy to fuck up and very hard to control, let alone master. And then it should also look and feel natural like you're just doing it unconsciously.

why can't we just say "hey, I like you let's not ignore eachother on WhatsApp for 12 weeks before we message each other again and just get down tf".

That guy was as in over his head as she is.

Women hate men who don't know how to use apostrophes.

Maybe she's close and he's far away

My cringe muscle snapped from stretching too far.

Because of Michael, I always felt terribly sorry for Toby... I mean he was kind of a boomer, but he's not thaaaat bad.

Yeah learn to read some body language, bro. Arms crossed, shoulder facing his way, feet turned away from him...

Hey she laughed. Guess I'll tongue punch her.

I didn't see it but now I do and ugh it's even worse


feet turned away from him...

This one is huge.

Remember the words of Hitch! You go 90 then she comes 10

He will never have to think to himself " I should have tried to kiss that blonde".

Thrust in with your face, like a jab from a professional boxer.

This one


Michael didn't hate him for "no reason"... He basically hated Toby because Toby was HR and most of what Michael did was against most HR policies. Michael took Toby correcting him personally.


Yeah, but when you're hopeful that laugh and lean-in is all you see.

But she will always think to herself "even if I keep my arms crossed and verbalise my discomfort men will still touch me anyways"

He creeped on and then fondled Pam. He was complicit in sabotaging Jim’s career and relationship. He stalked Nellie. Toby was a lousy human being.

When I went to school at the University of Missouri there was a beautiful girl there named Becca that was first cousins with Cameron Diaz. I guess their moms were sisters and friends and they hung out even after Cameron was famous, a couple times she was seen near campus and at the winery in nearby Rocheport.

So I went with the Finance Club on a trip to Chicago. It was pretty nice- one night Warren Buffet spoke to our group, we went down on the trading floor, we saw Second City perform, and man the pizza, amazing deep dish pizza. I had been talking to Becca a lot on this trip and I sat by her at both Second City and the deep dish pizza place. So after the pizza restaurant it was a beautiful night in downtown Chicago and Becca and I were walking together. She was very pretty like the girl in this video and like Cameron, tall and blonde, a beautiful smile, legs that just went on for days. So I got up all the courage I had in my body and said So...Becca...when we get back to Columbia do you want to go out sometime, just the two of us?

She stopped walking, looked right at me, and said, and I quote,


And then started walking again.

Still to this day my favorite rejection.

So the quick, rapid-fire kisses then?

Why did he look at the camera and make a face? Was his buddy doing the filming? Feel like this was a dare or something

AHHHHHHHH NO NO NO!! Jesus Christ what a creep.

This one is waayyyy worse.

I feel like in the first few seasons, they made Toby a decent but just kind of boring guy who Michael hated for no reason. But as the show went on, people liked watching toby get shit on so much hat they turned his character into a legitimately pathetic, annoying guy.

Can't tell if he's short or if she's just tall

well this should make for an interesting morning

He might be up to it but she ain't going down for him

I think that she is firing some mixed signals there. Everything you said is true, but she also leaning very close to him and putting her head down close to his. I dunno. That looks like at least some interest to me. I can give the guy a pass for reading some interest into that.

I think his big mistake was going for the head grab kiss. Someone can be potentially interested but get put off by someone grabbing the back of your head in public and going for it. She might have been interested in the general case, but she definitely wasn't interested in that move.

Edit: The number of FBI interrogators in this thread who have never misread a body cue is truly astonishing. I can only live in awe at such clarity of body language reading.

For you.

I take it him and his buddy are practicing pick-up. It's a part of the process to record approaches, so you can go back and see what you did wrong (such as misreading or not reading body language, checking your own body language).

Expecto... PATRONUM!

Nothing mixed there. It looks like she's leaning in to hear him. She still has one arm in front of her and that purse is still acting as a barrier.

Wow. He's completely oblivious to her CLOSED OFF body language. She doesn't even open up when she laughs. What a fucking idiot.

Smile if you love mens prostates! :)

Jesus Christ. “It’s your life, take a chance.” “Yeah I’ll take a chance when I’m ready.”

Well he certainly had a lot to work on.

he ded now

even if the rest was all good, this one still fucks everything up. People who wanna stop the conversation move their feet out of the convo first.

I don't think he made it 50 before she started pulling away

For everyone.

yyyeeaaah... maybe she was also a little creeped out by the guy's friend filming from a few feet away.

I always thought Michael truly hated Toby because he had a daughter and got divorced from her mother. Michael, a product of divorce himself, always resented his parents for that and thus projected a lot of his pent-up anger onto Toby for doing the same to his daughter. Ironically, Toby's parents also went through a divorce but Michael never allowed himself to bond with him over that, probably because he didn't want to empathize with him. (the scene where Toby reveals this to Michael in the cafeteria during Jan's hearing, only to have Michael push his lunch off the table mid-sentence, both sad and hilarious).

Step 1. Match the other person's body language.

Step 2. If they're not in an open facing position then you haven't done enough work yet or they'll just never like you.

Quoth the Google, "Nevermore"

the slow kiss. my husband tries this, it always causes the same reaction. MEN OF REDDIT DO NOT DO THE SLOW KISS

You get in there and work that scalp.

Wow. He's completely oblivious to her CLOSED OFF body language. She doesn't even open up when she laughs. What a fucking idiot.

And why would he grab the back of her head? Was he trying to clinch?

Nope, wasnt joking. There was something about it that was so beautiful. First, I was proud with myself. I took a shot. I missed but so what, I gave it a go. It was a pretty big longshot so I wasnt even mad at all. Second, she was so far out of my league it wasnt even funny. I don't think she ever became a movie star, maybe she heard enough about it to think she didnt want that life, maybe she had no desire to see herself on screen, maybe she couldnt act, I don't know. But she definitely had movie star looks. And the confidence, God damn that girl was confident. Not in a cocky kind of way either, in a hey, I know what I want, it isnt you, lets move on and enjoy the Chicago nightlife. I loved it.

Rapidly strike again before she regains her composure!

Subconsciously* Unconscious means you're not awake.

Clearly laughing at you isn’t a great sign either.

Probably both

exactly. Mirroring works GREAT.

My very thought

Really just a pathetic guy.

What was she supposed to do? He just went right in for a kiss and she turned away.

Quoth Google:

"unconsciously" - without realizing or being aware of one's actions.

Not sure if you’re joking or not when you say it’s your favorite reaction, but it really is perfect. No dancing around the subject, saying maybe and giving you false hope, no excuses. Quick and easy, and allows you to continue the relationship as-is. I wish more people would be so direct, it makes things so much easier.

Nope, she uncrossed her arms to hide her face from clearly laughing at him. Not at whatever he said, but at him.

Yeah, I agree that it's not unreasonable of him to think it was a kiss moment. That head grab was almost the worst way he could have gone about it. Ew.

What if she plays with her hair and I’m bald.

or a more confident and well placed kiss. its just the slow approach, mouth agape, is unpleasant.

I kind of expected Dwight to be part of Kevin and the zits but I guess they were trying to make him more money obsessed. It would’ve been cool tho

Press F to pay respects



Errr, you can't seriously be thinking that. It's an accepted and effective method to record yourself doing a mock presentation, for example, so you can go back and see what your body language is like or what your voice is like or what the presentation itself is like. There's just so much you aren't aware of without actually looking at yourself on video. It's like having an on-demand mentor, except you're providing your own feedback.

A presentation is already a high effort task that will take away mental bandwidth from focusing on details like body language, imagine walking up to a girl you don't know and trying to overcome your own fear to talk to her. Every fiber of your being is telling you to run the fuck away and you're shaking and you're trying not to overthink, yet also trying to figure out what to say or what you shouldn't do or what you should do and wondering whether she likes you or you're coming off weird or if you're sweating too much or if she notices you shaking or ... etc, etc, etc.

edit: Also, it's scientifically proven how bad we are at accurately judging ourselves. We generally suck very hard at real self-awareness.

Bro I feel you. I cross my arms because it's like I am giving myself a big hug during human interaction. Like telling myself, "It's okay, they can't hear your thoughts, this is normal."

But, but...Toby is the Scranton Strangler.

There are a plethora of reasons why he was unsuccessful. I don't think slow kissing had much to do with it...

“I wasn’t trying to kiss you... I just found a quarter in your ear. Ta-da!”

I miss that show. Sometimes the edits they did to point out all the "no way this is going to a second date" body language were really funny.

this guy oofs

Go Astros

Don't worry about it. Body language analysis is stupid. Just be yourself.

You want to meet somebody you get along with naturally and don't have to worry about overthinking every little detail. That's not a healthy way to interact with anybody and it's not sustainable.


The important part is to relax and you will naturally come off as more relaxed and easier to talk to/interact with. Just focus on having fun and enjoying yourself and things will fall into place on their own. And if they don't then fuck it move on there are millions of people in this world no need to force things with any one of them

Also, don't be afraid to make a move yourself. It's scary but the reality is you have nothing to loose.

Man that guy just wasn't getting the point, I cringed for the majority of that 60 seconds....

She's not firing any mixed signals. The guy is just ignorant of body language.

Stop copying me!

Meta spreads even faster than the California wild fires, damn.

Who was filming and why?