three types of choosing beggars

three types of choosing beggars

What about the childcare/services one?

I have 8 kids, ages 9 mothnts to 12 yeahs. I need someone to look after them from 6am to 10pm every day. Ill be home too on the couch, so you won get paid as much. Current college students ONLY!! Pay is $100 a month. No negotiating.

also im 6"

This got me more than anything else.

Serious inquiries only please.

its for a C H U R C H


There’s no excuse to be under 6ft hit the gym fatty 💪🏼💪🏼

You forgot:

"You'll get exposure" on the first one.

"Need babysitter for 1 cent per week"

"Please give me a free car but only high-end recent models"

Me too and then the spelling of prostitut. Like the job King Tut's mom did or something.


Darn it i knew i forgot sonething

I am still not done with this meme! Gets me every time.

Don't forget the entry level programmer position that requires a degree, five years experience across several programming languages and applications, and offers $12 per hour.

Needs to fit 20 people!! ITS FOR A CHURCH! NEXT!!!!!

I didn’t see anyone offering to pay with exposure.

Thank you, ive been perfecting my paint skills my entire life

My daughter did that for a minimum wage family, very low cost child care so they could work crabby hours for peanuts. Part of the "pay" was she could eat with the kids since she cooked a meal. She felt it was a "I'm helping the lesser of us" so I supported her in it as alearning experience.

A month later she realized what a mess she perpetrated. They called all hours of the day and night, wouldn't come home or answer their phones. The last straw - "you need to bring your own lunch and enough to feed us."

It doesn't matter. You're a true artist.

Actually I have an idea for an app and need a developer to program it. You get 20% of the earnings as soon as we make money with it! I do strategy and marketing.

You are now banned from /sub/newkingdom

that and 'I need the toilet soat' got me

All that FAT drags your body DOWN, gotta stay in shape and be ULTRA TALL

This is great

This really chose my beggar

That's it, we are now enemies.


you czech?

Oh boy, do I have something to show you. It's called the world and it's full of unimaginably shitty and entitled people.

you messed up BUG TIME


Hate those pussies that always skip height day

it literally means shit-sucker

Yes, and I have an offer for you... I would like you to do the artwork for my next thing.

You forgot NEXT!!!!!

can you tattoo it on me for 5 dollarydoos

As long as it’s not /sub/pyongyang

What is this? A crossover episode?

Current college collage students ONLY!!



5 years experience in a 3 year old programming language

You have been made a moderator of /sub/pyonyang.

Yep thats what it means. There is also an /sub/animemes joke hidden in the post

Is that a word in Czech?

To me it seems like you'd (approximately) pronounce "have no cock"

The boyfriend lost his job at a deli. Stealing food and trading it for pot.

N E X T !

we are enemies now

Yeah the food thing worked for a while for me too, eventually I realized having no checks and balances, no accountability for the employers, no benefits, and only eating because they let me go in their kitchen wouldn’t cut it. I even baked bread every week to take home for the weekend, it got ridiculous.

The concept of a 6" prostitut intrigues me. I think there may be a market for this.

You’ve been banned from /sub/pingpong

Think of the exposure you'd get!

I once had a guy "offering" me all that but with a catch: he wouldn't tell me what he wanted me to develop unless I first agreed to the (unknown) job, because otherwise I'd just say no and then steal his genius idea and build it on my own... 🤣

one of the choosiest beggers in history

This is awesome! Do you do commissions? I could get you lots of exposure!

It's for a church honey

This really freed my exposure

will you tatoo this on me for free since my grandma died, also i dont have a car so you will have to do it at me, also im poor so i wont cover any expenses, but im famous so you will get lots of exposure

Surprise motherfucker


Sorry, I can't eat exposure


My mom forced me to babysit for a coworker of hers with 2 kids, one low functioning autistic, and the other a little asshole. I managed for a few months, then my mom told me all of a sudden that I wasn't going to babysit for them anymore. Turns out this lady's inbred-ass boyfriend's shitty 6 year old POS computer broke down and they straight up tried to shake down my mom for a couple thousand dollars plus all the money they paid me, which wasn't a whole lot given I had to feed the kids out of pocket.

People can be garbage if they think they can get away with it.

Me too plz. But can you do 3dollarydoos, Op? I have a wife and kids!

a person who studies collaging

I love the “u monster I need toilet soat” that bit got me lol

I love that it’s spelt wrong twice in two different ways

Or the ever popular "exposure now with vague insuations if money later."

i can see the logic here, people saw The Social Network and how that little shit robbed the twins.

I know its a joke but i used to be way fatter and it did a number on my spine. I have much better posture now and can actually stand straight up.

/sub/starterpacks for maximum karma

You say that sarcastically, but I actually think it does get better everytime I say it

17 gp lol

Yeah but what about /sub/pyongyang?

My roommate. He's convinced he's an "idea man", like it's his calling, and just needs someone who can code and design. He's got several "million dollar ideas" but refuses to learn any of the skills necessary to make them happen.

Even better, one night he got drunk and let slip one of the ideas! It's basically a Reddit/Facebook mashup and would require a freaking army of developers to get off the ground. No college, only experience is in fast food, neck beard incel shut-in that spends 16 hours a day gaming, watching conspiracy theory videos, and being superior to all other humans.

Holy shit I just realized how much I hate him. I'm actually taking a break from packing right now. I'm moving to my own place tomorrow and I'm sooooo excited!

Edit: to much personal info

You need to bring your own lunch and enough to feed us

I call bullshit. Pics or it didn't happen.

That joke gets funnier every time you say it

This really chose my beggar

god damnt. I clicked that link and it played at full blast volume in my university library.


finally someone that thinks mine weiener is huge!

Pleaz halp! Am destitut

I went back and looked for it. You're a monster

In any style. And I don't have a car, so you will have to come to me.

we want more.


I was not realy expecting anyone to see it. It realy makes me happy to see that the whorst possible joke i could have made doesnt go underappreciated!

Toilet seat doesn't fit 20. NEXT

This is literally every job in my city in a nutshell. Any degree-requiring job will rarely nudge over 10 per hour (and they'll try to pull off illegal "independent contractor" pay when you're required to be on premises for a specified time range daily, work on their equipment, and you get docked pay if you can't make it during those hours, even if you return after hours to do the work) so college graduates end up working in the same places as the current students in town instead. The joys of living in a right to work state..

Its for church honey

Yes my prices are as follows : 6

That was my terminology, based on the Gospel of St. Matthew "when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you refuse to help me." (And I'm not a Christian, btw)

She wanted to help someone poorer who needed a hand.


I lost it at "yeahs".

You stupid fucx. I will put you in cage where you belong anyways.

I'm still blocking out my memories of that time.

The kid who changes their major every semester

I like this picture. Could you make one for me?

The Church of choosing beggars.

+420 69 177 013 Subtle, I like it.

"Deliver this free thing to my house. I don't have a car you freeloader."

Amateurs, a high quality dickgirl is at least 7"

Frederick from the first panel has a Czech phone number

real men do 5 reps on the rack


HUGE opportunity for FREE room and board *

*no actual cash payment.

Either that or its at really random times 3x a week for a few hours, thereby preventing you from getting a full time job to actually live on.

Sorry if you want to pay me with exposure i require you to have atleast 7 dogs you can refer me to

Why is this so funny, heheheehhe