They always care for us.

They always care for us.
They always care for us.

I suggest you demand a new agent. If he was any good he'd have sent a PC.

I ordered an Xbox controller once, but got a bong instead

Fucking peasant, a true FBI agent knows theres no better option than a custom built PC

I ordered a bong once, but got a fleshlight instead

Nintendo Switch is King

I once ate an entire roll of quarters the day before attending our neighborhood summer block party just so I could fool all my friends into thinking I could shit money. They all sat around getting pretty shit-faced throughout the evening, and by the time the streetlights came on I was standing butt-naked on top of a picnic table defecating coins like a motherfucker. They surrounded me like I was a malfunctioning slot machine, cupping their hands and catching my ass-quarters while cheering. No one seemed bothered the money was covered in my chunky shit, they had dollar signs in their eyes. My ass sprayed in every direction. The sounds of my wet farts combined with loose change hitting the ground, and the dull plop of my turds landing on the wooden picnic table filled the air. Everyone praised Jesus for the miracle, asking if I could shit them enough money to pay their mortgage or get their wife a bigger pair of tits. What a fuckin' night.

Fuckin' a

Should have used incognito mode 🤷🏼‍♂️

Damnit, I ordered a fleshlight and got an Xbox controller. Do you think our FBI agents had this planned?


No, I don't type with my mouth

I use my Nintendo Switch playing devices

-my hands -ma heart

Did you even hear yourself?