The "I live in suburban nj but I pretend that I'm from the south starter pack

The "I live in suburban nj but I pretend that I'm from the south starter pack

30% of Monmouth County males aged 16-30.

Edit: and of that 30%, 97% of them are volunteer firefighters or first aid that tuck their Darius Rucker tour shirts into their dad jeans from the one Sears left in NJ. Y’all know what I’m talking about.

Second edit: anecdotally these dudes are the W O R S T tippers and always want “first responder” discounts for them all all their annoying friends. I️ know some of you are reading this. Stop that shit.

Someone reported this post for being "rude, vulgar or offensive." LOL.

I was driving a pickup truck last year for a few months someone commented to me about it not being lifted in the HD parking lot... Who the fuck lifts a work truck why do you want to load things into a pickup bed that is neck high!?

People whose 'Work Truck' is an entirely unnecessary fashion accessory completely unrelated to their part time job at the gas station.

Someone has the starter pack already. :D

Only 10% in Hunterdon where I grew up, but roughly 0% can conceivably justify their faux-hillbilly "culture".

FFS dude, your dad is a corporate lawyer in Philly. There's no excuse for those chew spit stains down the front of your Kenny Chesney tshirt.

Change the Ford to a Dodge and it's the Wawa in Flemington, every damn night.


volunteer firefighters or first aid...

I call these people "Squaders." You know the type, beer gut at 18, barely graduated and never left Plumstead... but are always on a Squad, and you better believe 90% of their wardrobe consists of squad-related phrases and emblems. And live for XTU in Camden, every year. And can't believe that you haven't been married and two kids by two moms by 26... And can't fathom how they're constantly broke, but it's "fer sher" not their fault.

Pinelands High School parking lot*

*on days when its not closed due to asbestos

“Yeah my uncle was going to get me a plumbing apprenticeship but like he lost all of his funding, but if I️ were a crackhead I’d get free everything, we should bomb Iraq. Guess I’ll go work at Shoprite on rt 36.”


As someone who drove a work truck even the new stock ones are getting too tall in the bed. I don't want to have to climb on something to reach over the side to get something.

Their Facebook pages are just a nonstop stream of self-congratulations and posts about how underappreciated they are, and how much better they are than you because of how much they suffer to ensure that the parking lots at Wawa are always full.

I think it's because the guys who are attracted to it are repelled by the Jersey Shore stereotype. They want an identity of their own that challenges the classic Jersey guido so they embrace what they think is rural southern culture. They idolize those guys because they see them as bucking the "librul" agenda, going against the social grain. I also think they use it as a shield to explain their racism.

Also known as the Sussex County Starter Pack.

...and the Dunkin Donuts in Hillsborough. ...and the Quik Chek in Hillsborough. ...and the Wawa in Hillsborough.

I was friends with a Vol. Firefighter (Later EMT) through highschool in an affulent area and consequently spent a lot of time hanging out at the firehouse (Because we could drink there at 19). He fit the Squader bill to a T.

Every time Firefighters and EMT get brought up as the example of truly selfless good-spirited heroes I snort a bit. Holy SHIT they were some of the most unapologetically racist, idiotic, vain, fragile-ego'd dickheads I ever had the misfortune of being around. It was immensely obvious that their interest was solely in getting to look like a hero.

They referred to minorities exclusively by 'Nigger', 'Spic', 'Chink', 'Kike' and so forth (only amongst themselves, ofc), and had the balls to quote 'Rescue Me' (a show they believed to be a handbook on what a firefighter should be) and say "The day I refuse to carry someone out of a burning building because of their race, THEN you can call me a racist".

Got to hear great stories about trying to get to fires when the entire company is shitfaced. How great hanging out with the old guys and listening to stories of when they got to use the fire hoses on civil rights marchers.

Got joking, then not so jokingly pressured into 'setting a pile of leaves or something on fire' on my way home so that they could come put it out.

Watched my friend try to argue that he should be allowed to drink in a BYOB establishment at 19 because "He just sprained his ankle saving somebody from a fire" (He twisted it in the firehouse parking lot tackling another friend in order to steal his mountain dew). After they didn't buy it he stood outside yelling at the place and throwing empty beer cans at it.

To this day he posts facebook bullshit about how hard it is to be such a fucking hero.

being from monmouth county i can wholeheartedly agree with this statistic. these people will also argue with you about politics they have no clue about and why they don’t need school to have a successful career.

50% of white males from Gloucester County

a.k.a. the Browns Mills 18yo Special

If your "secret muddin' hole" is Wharton State Park, go on and have a seat.

Haha, spot on! NJ is teeming with these people. They all have questionably young girlfriends too.

These specifics are on point.

I think a lot of it is they bought way into the whole 'Hyper-conservatism as Manliness' angle.

As someone originally from the south, even we think that's trashy.

Welcome to Jackson, NJ!

We'RE bEloW tHe MAsoN DixON liNe

Uh longitudinally speaking in some areas, but no, the Mason Dixon line never ran through NJ.

You pretty much summarized why I left the fire department.

Its a really good question. Obama's analysis seems relevant:

You go into these small towns in Pennsylvania and, like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing's replaced them. And they fell through the Clinton administration, and the Bush administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are gonna regenerate and they have not. And it's not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy toward people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.

The future for many suburban white kids of below average intelligence does not look bright, and they are staring down the barrel of a lower standard of living than their parents.

I have a F250. We us it to tow horses and a boat. Someone told me that i should lift it

insert Y Tho meme

The ratio of Firehouse Cookouts to actual fires is 10:1. And without fail, the neighboring paid force had to be called in. Thank you Burlington Township once again!

Hey! I'm from Gloucester County!! It's probably more like 48%

It's across the street from Quik Chek.

Not to hijack the thread, but the automated tire air machine at the Quik Check across the street from Wawa in Hillsborough is amazing. It uses a lighter, coiled tube that reaches all of your tires. No more heavy rubber hose to drag around and get caught under your tires. You press a button to set the tire pressure; it automatically monitors your tire pressure and beeps when you're done. The future is here.

I grew up in Monmouth and now live in Ocean. While I totally know the demographic you're talking about, I have never seen a Confederate flag in NJ.

Now the thin blue line / thin red line flags, those I see on the pickups often enough.

I love that theres a Wawa in Hillsborough

Creeping its way north

The border of Jackson and howell makes me want to cry seeing this.

"Heritage not hate"

Boy your from fucking Jackson, what heritage?

Even traditionally "small" trucks are getting up to full size now, tacomas and tundras ect...

The GMC/Chevy's from the early 2000's were the pinnacle for me.

The question is, why? Why do we have this happening in suburban NJ of all places?


The War of Northern Jersey Aggression

This is the entire south part of Old Bridge

Nj Mason Dixon is when they start listing it as pork roll instead of Taylor ham on the menu

I'm from Gloucester County. I'll wager its probably more like 52%

Then again. I'm in Malaga. We have the Wawa that there guys come from miles around to bullshit and spit in the Wawa lot, then go across the street to the cheaper gas station to actually buy gas.

This is missing the ol girlfriend with a black eyeGuy

this is how you lay bait m8

Lmao so true

Applies to rural upstate NY as well

I hate that town; grew up as a minority there and declined all the ten year reunion invites for HHS. Moved away as soon as I could and never looked back. I just thank god I wasn't a brown/Indian/Sikh/Muslim kid living in that trashy town - my Egyptian friend was constantly bullied post 9/11 in Howell Middle School South (legit called Osama Bin Laden in the halls).

Actually, probably got to thank god I wasn't Jewish in Howell either (kids from the high school drove around Lakewood egging Jewish people). Or Mexican... I also remember this kid who shamelessly repped Confederate flags on his car (he's 30-something now). One of the biggest gatherings in the town was a "Support Chick Fil-A Day" after they found out the owner was being boycotted nationwide because he funded LGBT electro-shock "therapy." Once in our cafeteria, someone yelled out "I hate black people." Sadly, I found out most of my friends were part of the "I'm not racist but... (in reality, I am)" or "it's just a joke!" crowd and basically cut ties with that town. Legit had "why can black people say the N word but I can't?" debates with them for days...

To think, all this stuff was probably forgotten or invisible to most of the students because they weren't minorities in this town...

Damn, what a shitty town lol.

This is missing the ol girlfriend with a black eye

I know they like to pretend their backyard garden is a 'farm' but I assure you there are shitloads of these dudes living in expensive subdivisions in suburban-as-fuck towns all over the state.

like holy shit, buddy got a new fiat dodge and the side of the bed reaches my neck and the bed is just about belly button leave, my search continues for a datson 620 mini truck

The accepted and official term used by emergency first responders that you are looking for is Whacker.

honestly, for nj, i would swap out the confederate flag for that blue lives matter black us flag with the blue stripe.

there's some moron in woodbridge near where my kid's babysitter is who has a white chevy pickup that's jacked up with huge ass tires and one of those stupid flags flying from a flagpole on the back of his truck. i always figured he was just overcompensating for a micropenis, but i have since learned that there are a lot of racist trumpy fucks in woodbridge.

They're probably "rude, vulgar or offensive" haha

I can vouch for Sayreville as well

They’re not rasis’ cause Darius Rucker is black

It's like they're mass produced.


When I first moved to N.J. you could drive from Somerville to Flemington and see nothing but farms.

Ooh, Did guys from your dept. also LOOOOOVE getting decked out in their department fleeces and going into NY on Sept. 11 to get free drinks and try and get pussy off of the sacrifice of 343 dead people who were actually in shape enough to climb stairs in the towers?

I think that may have just been the most distasteful thing they all did, try to pretend they were 'Brothers' with a bunch of dudes who (while probably weren't exactly tolerant saints themselves) were 1000 times their betters, and tried to use their sacrifice to suck their own dick while eating 2 large quick-chek subs in the parking lot.

Literally the entirety of Sussex County.

As someone who was born and raised in Monmouth County and now lives in Warren County:

30% ?!?! Gotta pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers

We could point to a lot of political angles, but anecdotally, it seemed to explode among my peers and in my area right around the time 'Country' music blew up in the mainstream about 10 or so years ago.

It seemed to start with girls, suddenly all your average 17-21 year old white girl was obsessed with country music and Colorado Cafe, and (to no ones surprise) the dudes suddenly all started competeting over who is the 'Most country'. McMansions with large properties all suddenly became 'farms'. Part time minimum wage retail jobs were suddenly 'Blue Collar', they all traded in their Newports and riced out Honda Civics for dip and lifted Dodge Rams. They went from skaters, straight-edge hardcore kids, metal-heads, and 'Wiggers' to alt-righters.

It's why I've always called these types 'Rascall Flatts Rednecks'

Bullshit this applies from Sussex to Cape May.

Holy fuck you are so scary accurate. That's who I work with. Like everyone I work with

South of Route 37 and west of Route 9 the density of Confederate flags increases drastically. I see a few around TR. of my neighbors had one until he replaced it with a Trump flag.

Actually it never ran through Delaware either, it runs on the border of it.

Also the Seneca High School parking lot, where our sister schools spread rumors about us having a "Ride Your Tractor To School Day"

There’s one in Parsippany too

at least you don't have a dropped truck that can't even hold a pebble in the back without scraping the ground

Nothing I love more than seeing a truck lifted 8in. with a dropped tow hitch... sitting on stock tires because "Oh shit, oversized tires are expensive!"

You're right, I should have said bordered Delaware, not ran through it.

I try to believe it was just that particular department, or just my town, but just based on the kind of shit I see from firefigter/EMT/whatever-centric Facebook groups, I doubt it.

I guess I'm not surprised, the same combination of insecurity&stupidity that makes people desperate to be worshiped for their ugly ass blue sweatshirts is the same that makes them try and declare themselves superior by virtue of their blotchy skin color.

Mostly I'm just glad I'm not alone, It's hard to find much commiseration when your opinion is 'Firefighters would be way worse than cops if they had the authority to shoot people'

I live in rural southwest. Lifted trucks are nothing but looks. A little clearance helps. Any thing more compromises on road driving so bad it's pointless. Wears everything out. Increases stopping distance. Shitty in snow.

I go out exploring in my audi allroad with Maybe 7 inches of clearance. I rarely have problems. And it drives through the canyons like a sports car.

I like money. I don't like wasting it on worm out parts and gas and new tires.

I know I drive an Audi. So I still pay money for many Maintenance gremlins. But my Point still stands.

It's a fuel economy thing. The economy requirements are tied to vehicle size, so by making larger vehicles, they don't have to design more efficient engines. Almost everything's got a crew cab or extended cab these days, whether you want it or not.

And a lot of the people who fit the starter pack like to bring that up, thing is, that stopped being true long before most these guys were even born, or at least before they suddenly decided they were 'Country Boys' at 16 after they heard girls liked Rascall Flatts.

datson 620 mini truck

But if you mention that their parent's McMansion is not, in fact, a farm, it's "This whole area used to be farms!, I'm not unemployed and lazy, I'm blue collar!"

I love the whole stance'd thing, when it was just starting a few years ago I was leaving class(rutgers newark) and a stance'd out accord drove right through a pot hole doing about 30 then pop, air bags went off. When I crossed the street to go to my car and saw the front of my car there was no damage aside for your normal scraping from a lower car. Now I follow stance'd cars when I'm driving hopping for a show.

stance'd subarus is by far the stupidest thing, anything with awd should not be ever stance'd

Fucking A

Isn't that shoprite on 35? Foodtown is 36, unless there's another one I'm missing. I only say this because there's that asshole with the crooked Hilary sign on his front lawn on 36 and thought it was a fitting reference.

Just had this argument. It ran through Delaware, Not NJ

Aka too much of ocean county