Self-deprecation is key

Self-deprecation is key

Quick story: My friend Dallas (Fake name) has a pretty morbid sense of humor whenever he's hanging out with the guys. Apparently that sense of humor is leaking into his everyday life. Well, he's at work trying to tidy up his department before he clocks out, and the overnight manager, Dick, goes "Yo Dallas, I'm gonna need you to stop trying to look busy, and actually get the two return carts from up front. You can at least do that much, right?" Without as much as a pause, Dallas responds with "Or, I could have killed my self in high school, and saved all of us a little trouble." The look on Dicks face!

Haha, Dallas sounds like a funny


It's like when you stop pretending for a moment and show your real self to someone with the hope that they'll accept you and be your friend, but they either recoil or reject you.

I'm just lol'ing at the fact that you chose "Dallas" as a fake name because who even does that

A: Hey bro, just be yourself!

B: [My self]

A: Oh no not like that....

He sounds absolutely hilair!

Let me guess... His real name is Austin

Everybody betray me, I'm fed AHP with this wuhrld!

Ever play Payday:The Heist?

You know now muslims dont like depictions of muhammad, even flattering ones? Well, the guy on the right is muhammad, from Dante's, The Divine Comedy.

Someone is going to be upset! (but it aint me) Dante, in The Divine Comedy: Inferno, placed Muhammad in Hell, with his entrails hanging out (Canto 28):

No barrel, not even one where the hoops and staves go every which way, was ever split open like one frayed Sinner I saw, ripped from chin to where we fart below. His guts hung between his legs and displayed His vital organs, including that wretched sack Which converts to shit whatever gets conveyed down the gullet. As I stared at him he looked back And with his hands pulled his chest open, Saying, "See how I split open the crack in myself! See how twisted and broken Mohammed is! Before me walks Ali, his face Cleft from chin to crown, grief–stricken.

Pull yourself together man!

She's hilair, too!:

She's hilair, too!:

"Totes retar"

It's actually Waco.

That thought runs through my head all the time.

Me: "Hey I should do laundry"

Brain: "just kill yourself instead ezpz"

I'd self deprecate more, but I'm not very good at it 🙁

I have a friend named Dallas and your personally attacking me and I have contacted the authorites

Story of our lives, huh?

Anyway, how's your sex life?

Stop. You're sharing too much

I mean, me 2 thanks haha

I mean, Dallas is also just a name.

Do you really think she's awesome? She's one of the least cool, most out of touch people I could come up with.

Dallas needs a brohug.

Hey Dallas, follow me!

Hey Dallas, follow me!

Hey Dallas, follow me!

Hey Dallas, follow me!

Hey Dallas, follow me!

And they're all just standing there like "Dude...." and you've got this half gaping smile like "that was a gud 1 rite guyz?"

Has anyone thought of Robin Williams syndrome affecting Dallas? I remember seeing a study that people who often think of death and suicide are the funniest people in the business, and so Robin Williams’ humor was a product of his depression. Maybe Dallas is trying to communicate but he hides it under a joking façade to entertain his friends and not be such a downer.

Idk I’m really high

You know what, I voted for her and think she's awesome.

But that gif will NEVER not make me laugh.

Personal Space

Nope, Debbie.


I like that you named the manager Dick.

Bai doggy!

That automatically hurt, like it's become a reflex or something.

This is not exactly the same but I just wanted to say it for some reason anyway. Recently I've been told at work that pretty much everyone likes but I should just try to talk more and be more myself.

But not talking much is me being myself. I've been always better at hearing people out than talking.

It's a cool callsign.

So according to this thread, we downvote you, right?

He's really baring his soul, and these people are all "whoa, wtf guy?"

I love Dallas

backfiring self deprecation is the pits. you're all like, "fuck me, right? i'm an idiot" and they're just nodding and sipping their perrier

Depictions of Muhammad

The permissibility of depictions of Muhammad in Islam has been a contentious issue. Oral and written descriptions of Muhammad are readily accepted by all traditions of Islam, but there is disagreement about visual depictions. The Quran does not explicitly forbid images of Muhammad, but there are a few hadith (supplemental teachings) which have explicitly prohibited Muslims from creating visual depictions of figures. It is agreed on all sides that there is no authentic visual tradition as to the appearance of Muhammad, although there are early legends of portraits of him, and written physical descriptions whose authenticity is often accepted.

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Purple robes, just standing over there waving like "Nice try, Doug, but I'd still like my $5 back."


Think this is the closest correct spelling of wiseau voice I've seen.

It’s like the ancient version of being camera-shy. Delet this!

Of course you are high, but whether or not this applies to Dallas, it's certainly the source of my humor, so you're not totally wrong.

I don't even like all of this SKIN in my personal space!

The writers of Alien

This could be re-captioned for me_irl:

"Would it kill you to open up a little" "Yes, excellent point"

I am fed ahp with ZA WARUDO!

I bet she was glad to have you on her side Anustart942

Yeah sorry, I guess I should've been more sensitive considering I play on the same team with guys like Bobson Dugnutt and Sleve McDichael.

TIme to join Dallas Hugging Club

This is from Dante's Inferno. The dude getting ripped in half is Muhammad.

Oh yea, I'll just stop constantly thinking about killing myself. That should fix the problem, never thought of that.