Not all heroes wear capes

Not all heroes wear capes

see... our parents all lied.

This 17 year old kid looks and acts like he's been smoking weed for 30 years.

This guy slipped a "Holy fuck" onto network TV even with a tape delay. Not many can say they've done that.

A snowboarder, you say?

"Hey mum! I could say 'fuck' on TV and still win a gold medal!"

A gold medal means you are most likely the best athlete world wide in that category. Means a lot for some people.

The snowboarders and freestyle skiers are the best part of the Winter Olympics. The reporters have no idea how to deal with them.

Last year's gold medalist in snowboard slope on preparation the night before:

I was eating mad snacks,” the first gold medalist of these Winter Olympics said underneath a dish mop of scraggly blond split ends. “Chocolate. Onion rings. Chips. We were chilling really hard. Then we fell asleep watching ‘Fight Club.’ Getting stoked, you know?”

Or Henrik Harlaut, probably the best freestyle skier in the world, who last year emulated Cool Runnings by keeping a lucky egg in his pocket during his runs. His pants also almost fell off during a jump, and when he was asked about it he mentioned he had suspenders on and that's just as low as he likes them

EDIT: last olympics, not last year

EDIT2: Harlaut also gave us this gem at the last olympics

Snowboarders have supernatural skills with reporters.

It's like they're in a superposition of both helping and hurting their sponsors, but as soon as there's the slightest bit of scrutiny, they collapse safely into beanbag chairs.

Jamie Anderson, the American that won women's slopestyle dropped a "oh my fucking god" when she saw she won gold.

From Colorado no less

"Yeah but first you need enough talent to get on tv"

Finally, an Olympic athlete I can relate too and aspire to be like.

I love how the snowboarders are always fucking around. Didnt the first gold go to a stoned sean white?

I had totally forgotten about this, thank you so much for reminding me!

"I'm talkin bout mountain dews, baby!"

No, it went to Ross Rebagliati.

Ross had his medal withdrawn because he tested positive for THC. He now has a popular strain of weed called Ross’s Gold.

I really don't understand what the big deal is

Only in US can "said fuck on TV" be actual news.

Amazing that White is now the elder statesman of American snowboarding.

That's right, the weed store is right down the street.

Psshh... Talent isn't needed to get on TV!

The amount of people responding seriously to this is too damn high. Reddit is lost

As far as I know most gold is cursed. At least when it is buried beneath graves.

how did you prepare for breaking the record in the chinese olympics?

I sat around and ate mcnuggets since I didn't trust the food there.

No joke. He said he ate 20 piece meals twice a day while he was there in china.

True. Proof. American reality tv shows

Snowboarders are the athletes that fail the drug tests for pot instead of steroids.

“It’s just like… Dude, you get the best barrels ever, dude. It’s just like, you pull in and you just get spitted outem’. You just drop in, smack the lip… Waapah! Just drop drown…Swoopah! And then after that you just drop in, ride the barrel and get pitted, so pitted”

We love these stories. Stories of guys who can slack their way into success. There's a whole lucrative industry filled with extremely punctual, very hardworking guys who are dedicated to telling stories about unpunctual slackers who fall backwards into success. And guys sitting on their couches buy these stories and feel better about themselves. But the truth is that life takes slackers and grinds them and grinds them until they are tired-faced middle-aged men who hate their lives. Life rewards the chipper early-bird pricks that we all look down on.

Seth Rogan is lying to you.

Go knit some cat mittens, Deborah.

THC recognized as a performance enhancing drug all of a sudden?

I feel like not enough people noticed that Swiss snowboarder Sina Candrian's gloves said Fuck yeah on them. She spent nearly the entire time she waited for her score waving to the camera with them.

Content not available in your location.

I can see the Olympic torch out my window.

Now he's keynote speakin bout Mountain Dews, baby.

Born in 2000. That’s the holy fuck to most people

Uhh... pretty sure this guy worked his ass off for this. He deserved his gold and his happiness, he worked for it. Clearly he was extremely passionate about something at a very early age and practiced and practiced and did it non stop because it made him happy and then mastered an extremely difficult skill. He has mastered a sport at an age where many people don't have a clue what theyre passionate about. I do not think someone in the Olympics can be called a slacker they do extensive training.. especially someone who just won a gold medal. He's also 17, and therefor does things a 17 year old would do. It's a charming story but him being a 17 yr old and sleeping in doesn't take away from all the hard work he has put into his craft. What if he stayed up late watching Netflix bc he was too anxious and nervous about the next day to fall asleep? He's 17 in the Olympics shit I'd be anxious as hell I'd prob throw up on my way to the mountain. Hell i lose shit all the time especially when I'm nervous or feeling anxious.

Who shit in your Cheerios?

This is the most American thing tho.

soo... snowboarder?

Technically, it is. It calms certain people, reduces the stress they could feel during the event.

*Not all heroes wear coats.

I think you have misunderstood. Op very probably thinks that this kid worked very very hard to be good enough to win his medal. The story that he's a slacker who just turned up is the false narrative being pushed.

Because a chunk of the world still functions on neo-puritan values and want their children to never be exposed to curse words rather than teach them to discern when they are and aren't appropriate.


And the tips are always frosty

It's like these athletes just enjoy their sport and get complimentary medals upon having more fun than other athletes for the day.

I would've expected him to be an Aussie tbh.

He's 31. He's OLD.

Jesus what a decrepit old fuck, how does he even get out of bed in the morning. Someone put this dog down already. I’m 31 on Saturday :(


chickened out


u wot m8

I sat around and ate mcnuggets since I didn't trust the food there.

Sounds like me in India.

I chickened out and survived on Subway.

Jokes aside, alot of the snowboarding community gives him shit for being too 'serious'.

Dude's a 31 year old man. If he was still towing the line with the whole DGAF thing I'd be concerned. I'm all for having fun, but this guy isn't a flash in the pan, this is his career.

This thread have made me realize exactly how religious the US is. I'm used to hearing swearing on national TV, radio and news all the time, it's a part of our daily speech, no one gives a shit

His parents were getting hammered in the crowd.

At Sochi a lot of the ‘conventional sport’ followers we’re getting really annoyed at the new freestyle (slopestyle and halfpipe) competitors because they were supportive of each other even if they were from different countries.

They expected that if you were knocked off the podium by someone else you’d be annoyed about it, but these guys were so supportive of the people that beat them.

The flak they got from it was kinda amusing - it’s like there were people annoyed that not everyone’s a bitter curmudgeon.

Video of the winning run.

I thought she said “oh my fucking gold”

one weed please

Just in case you or anyone else isn't aware, a Canadian gold medalist in snowboarding had his win called into question over marijuana in his blood stream. This was back in '98, the first year snowboarding was in the olympics.

so stoked!


To shred, you say?

Some dumb lady with a profile pic of her cat made a comment about how of course they slept in and how sleeping in perfectly sums up the millennial work ethic. Then someone else replied saying “How many gold medals have you and your cats won? Go knit some cat mittens Debra”

Fairly sure he means the big deal about cursing not the gold

Oh dear. The amount of removed comments.

Everyone knows that marijuana is… a drug enhancement that helps you on track and field to come last… in a team of eight million… eight million other runners who are all… dead.

— Eddie Izzard.

They try to take over the fcking game

I thought someone would mention this by now ..

Shaq we are on live

I don't give a shit

I know

Do people really think weed is gonna help you snowboard better

I can barely order pizza when im weed

a five foot base with five inches of freshy on top. so stoked.

And God forbid if they ever show a tit. Like it is the most unnatural thing ever

The holy fuck in my house was when my daughter piped up “you guys realize he’s only a year older than me.” (So hubby answered “well then why aren’t you in the Olympics?” 😜)

The one loose thread is winning the gold in anything at the winter olympics

And it being a big deal wearing another coat....

so pitted
This guy can

Only if you believe in linear time.

And found time to win a gold medal in-between

That specific detail obviously isn't remarkable by itself, but that's not the point. The point is a lot of people would expect Olympic athletes to be ultra-prepared the morning they're competing. Obviously this kid was way more lax than most figured, but it still didn't hinder him.

And I thought Chloe Kim was pretty f*cking American for only eating half her "breakfast sandwich" and then getting "hangry" before competing. Edit: missed a letter, oh my.

Was 31 in November.

Damn kids!

Get off my lawn!

Shaun White is gold for interviews. During the opening ceremonies of the Vancouver games, they interviewed him and...let’s say... his eyes looked really really “tired” and he said something along the lines of: “I just love the people here. Good people. You know...”

Then later when he already won the half pipe on his first run (I think it was also the Vancouver games). His coach asked if he just wanted to go down the middle. He replied: “Fuck that!” It was funny seeing Bob Costas having to apologize for that.

Ah, the old Reddit fuckaroo.

Swear words are allowed. Just not the "ultra scary" swears like fuck, cunt.

^this guy fucking knows what the fuck is up! Fuck!

No, when you win an Olympic gold medal, you can sleep in, lose your coat, and say fuck on live TV.

when I’m weed

I love India. Been there twice. Got food poisoning 4 times. Sure the food tastes good, but you will be shitting your self to sleep if you come from the west.

Everyone knows that the Dark Lord Satan resides in the female bosom.

So pitted...

I’ve done all those and haven’t won anything.

Expect say fuck on TV. I haven’t done that.

And I haven’t lost my coat - I only have 1 so I’d be screwed.

And I haven’t slept in. I’d get fired if I kept showing up late.

I’m beginning to see a pattern.

"Because my parents gave me these shitty non-athletic genes"

Headline: Olympic athlete said **** on TV.

How will they ever convey what he said?

Depends a lot on the sport. Anything with unpredictable quick reactions like, say, fencing and you're fucked.

I personally find that it makes me more aware of my body position in space, like it helps me with form in stretches and barbell lifts, helps me move my body as an interconnected unit rather than a vaguely related series of bodyparts.

In my teens I used to go to tae kwon do classes and I noticed the day after getting high that I couldn't spar for shit, I had like doubled reaction times and very little desire to punch or kick quickly. Doing patterns and all that standing in a line punching air nonsense was fine though.

I hate this geoblocking crap I run into that a lot too. The olympics is an international event, IMO everything related to it should be public domain, it's ridiculous how they IP the crap out of it.

Only Americans will understand...

I've said 'fuck' on live tv. Only, I didn't know it was live, my dad saw and I got in a lot of trouble.

I assumed it was a pre-record piece they were doing, so I just ran down the middle of the busy road behind the reporter and yelled, "fuuuuuuuuuuck! RUUUUNNNNNNN! THEY'RE COMING!!!"

I assumed they'd just do another take and the one I interrupted would never see the light of day, but I got a txt message from my brother about 2 minutes later (which is all phones could do then) that said, "Dad saw that. You're so dead."

I've known enough low-level snowboarders to be sure that the world-class ones are Perma-stoned at this point.

Steven Bradbury

I present to you,

Video for outside US

The snowboarding events have been one of the best examples of great sportsmanship that I have been able to show my son from these games. It helps that he thinks slope style is the coolest thing ever, I cant wait to show him super-pipe!

That was fucking beautiful “I’m talkin bout Mountain Dew baby” oh my god what a slogan


FUCK yeah!

Video? Source?

So lick my ass and suck on our balls!