My friend made my best burger recipe. I call it the Closer [OC] [3264 x 2448]

My friend made my best burger recipe. I call it the Closer [OC] [3264 x 2448]

The Unions are the best. Especially the teachers unions!

Does it come with coffee? I've heard that coffee is for closers.

Nothing sweeter than good working conditions.

If made correctly, it can be one of the best meals you have.

If made perfectly, it will be the last meal you have.

I love burgers like these, especially with avocado. However, I hate how the trend in burgers these days is to stack em' high. It's so difficult to eat the taller they are. It's like the trend with cupcakes, they kept getting taller and taller, and really hard to eat. I wish they would get flatter, like a pancake. I might try to experiment with that one day. Thinly sliced burger meat, with a wider bun. Maybe it's just a pipe dream, but it would make things so much easier to eat.

Grilled Unions? Guacamole? Fried egg? Bacon? Juicy beef patty, AND melted Cheddar Cheese??

Try mixing in a little coffee grounds into the patties when you make them. Good for a slightly bolder taste and a slightly obscure movie reference.

Edit:don't mix the grounds into a party, that would be silly. Also don't post to reddit before you get out of bed, because you make silly mistakes like that.

You, my friend, are missing out on the best possible taste in your mouth

Heston Blumenthal spent a lot of time working on just the ideal burger thickness in his "In Search of Perfection" hamburger episode. He ended with a burger that, when compressed, is exactly three fingers thick.

No, but it does come with the best home fries ever

Next time I have a party I'll try that. Do I mix the coffee grounds into the guests directly?

Why is the internet such an asshole :'(

Here's the recipe, well at least whatever I can come up with.

The patty

This patty was store bought, but I typically do ground beef with some cayenne pepper, bread crumbs (for texture), and taco bell sauce (just a little bit) - I'm not sure about portions because I guesstimate it every time For vegetarians, I prefer a potato based patty. Boil them (microwave works too), peal it, add seasoning (I do salt, pepper, chilli pepper, tamarind (just a dash). Then I mix in some peas and shredded carrots. Form into patty shape cook as though its a burger, just not as long. (For better ideas on this, I basically just do an Aloo Tikki Patty, its an indian snack).

a. start cooking the patty at a slow slow rate to cook it all teh way though, I season with garlic powder and this 1 all spice thing I bought on top

start sautéing the mushrooms, butter, some minced garlic, at a medium start caramelizing the onions, long strips if you want to have them be photogenic, butter, at a medium Bacon, start the bacon just as the mushrooms are starting to shrink Start a sunny side up egg, I use a good amount of pepper on this because its awesome Get out some cheese, shredded cheese works best if you want differing textures If the onions were cut small, just mix them with the mushrooms to make one awesome layer Cut your avocados to slices in the meanwhile, 1/2 per burger, and use a half lime for those slices

You'll also need: * Chipotle Aloi or Pesto

Assembly: Put your stove top on the lowest setting, get two buns out add some butter and put them down making sure to get butter on all sides of both buns. Let them cook for a while until the insides of each starts browning, then flip them. Put the cheese on the bottom slice. The bacon should be down about now so fold two peaces and put it on. Then place the patty on. If not done correctly, the patty can crumble, I mess this up sometimes. Slice of lettuce, greener the better. Mushrooms next. Onions next. Avocado's following. Egg as a finishing touch. Chipotle Aloi Sauce on the top bun (if you want, this is sometimes a hit or miss, I like it more, but pesto is more generally preferred by people I've served it to). For most wow factor, serve this with the top bun on the side.


Dice two potatoes. Toss in a mixing bowl. Olive oil, pepper, garlic power, salt. Be generous. Place on oven sheet, cook at 500*F for 20 minutes on the bottom shelve. Move to the top shelve and cook for an additional 5-10 minutes based on your preference for how crispy it is. Use spatula to get it off of your tray. Serve with chipotle aloi.

Same can be obtained with sweet potatoes but it takes considerably longer to cook

Edit Obligatory thanks for the gold!

All I wanted to do was appease the internet with food :(

Closer to god

I don't think the mushrooms are all the clear. And there's lime on the avocados. Lastly, he missed out on the sauces, but otherwise it's 95% exactly what I make.

Is that a portable on the bottom too? I hear the teachers complain about those a lot.