My coworker, queen of the scumbags

My coworker, queen of the scumbags

The entitlement is unbelievable with this one.

Go to HR right now. Say you're not sure it's an issue but she's been inviting you to private meet ups and it just makes you a bit uncomfortable because she has been either demanding that you pay or then acting as if you've created some form of offense if you haven't. You just feel like this has the potential to become some form of situation and you'd just like to make them aware. Tell them you plan to distance yourself from her and just wanted to keep them in the loop incase she decided to create some form of situation. Again, at this point it's not quite an issue. & isn't getting in the way of work. You're just using whatever foresight you may have available.

and she'd be the first one to run to HR is she thought you said something inappropriate to her

why did she expect you to pay? you owe her something?

No, I'm still asking myself why, we're not even dating

you mean "maybe she dreamed" we were going on a date

had an old friend ask me to dinner.. i accepted, then he asks "so what are you cooking?" where the hell are these people coming from?!

Ah, one of them. Stay away, honestly. its not worth the company sometimes. I get it, when youre at work its hard to say no to some or you have a decent rapport with them so you think no harm but if you see them do certain things to others at some point it will be done to you. Also I don't want to come off as knowing everything she has done based off one anecdote but to me that sort of thing is a huge red flag and one I would watch a close eye on going forward.

At least you didn’t pay for her lunch.

This guy HR's

a meal for myself

The amazing part is she's 40 years old. She's one of those Hispanic women that bleaches her hair blond and if you look at her facebook all her photos are selfies with dozens of snapchat filter pics

Maybe she thought you were going on a date

This kind of stuff always makes me wonder about the parents.

Did they act this way or did they not even know to teach her not to act this way?

Like what lead up to her (in her head) that said "yup, this is the right decision."

In my experience, HR does not give two shits about anyone. They are there to protect the company, nothing more. If you go to HR with a complaint about another employee, you better be sure either it's actually serious, or if not you have something to back it up, or you're friends with someone in HR. Otherwise, you've just rocked the boat and the lowest person on the totem pole in the dispute might be looking for a new job. In this case, if she has been employed longer (without issue), or is more acquainted with the person in HR, OP's going to get thrown under the bus. In my opinion, for such a trivial issue, it would be best to stay friendly with everyone, maintain absolute professionalism in the work place at all times and never allow oneself to be put in that position again. It would also be wise to try to establish a "paper trail" of emails as well in case it escalates. Jmo.

IF you're going to go that route, make sure to follow up with an email. For the paper trail.

well this was a cafeteria type of lunch where you order your food in a line and pay at the register

In my culture its tradition that when you invite someone out for a meal that you'll at least make the attempt to pay before it becomes a wierd mexican standoff at the table.

I'm shocked how many of the 40+ year old people in my office have no problem talking with their mouths full.

I'm talking full on food spraying sentences.

What did you make?

Yep, she's a scumbag I can tell.

Someone is about to get fired for sexual misconduct

Yep. Very good point. A quick phone call or word to let them know you're going to email them something is enough warm up. That way someone isn't showing up Tuesday morning, setting down the coffee after the first sip to that cold sent email

There can be many uncomfortable situations in work environment, but this is not HR-reporting worthy. What's with this stupid attitude: ughhh, something is uncomfortable, better report them to someone? Be a fucking adult, jesus

Fuck gender, she should have paid for you because she asked you out. People suck.

I’d report it just so it’s recorded. I wouldn’t expect hr to do anything about it but later on you have proof she’s not a trustworthy person

But you can help create some documentation that is preemptive, should she attempt to claim any future harrasement. This builds a case against her claims.

you have this a bit confused.

she asks me to join her for lunch lunch facility is in workplace we go through line separately, me first and I sit at table. she arrives with her food and sits at different table I tell her "hey, you invited me to eat with you, what gives?" she responds "you didn't buy my food, I'm eating alone"

Except the point of talking to HR in this case is to cover your ass. That way,if she complains about you in the future, HR has previously existing record that she instigated it.

That would mean that she should have offered to pay according to your culture, not OP

On the positive side you know she is a nut job and keep your distance from her.

But, you're an ordinary, average dude.

Report her to hr, this exchange would make me very uncomfortable in this environment.

40 and Hispanic? She looks nothing like that in the picture.

Either shes hot or used to be. Only a real asshole used to getting away with being an asshole acts this way.

I'm sure the co-worker was aware

She's dreaming of that ordinary, average man-meat.

You should get out more, your social skills need a tune up.

I would expect that on a date not a work lunch.

That's what I meant. That the person inviting would pay unless the check is embroiled in a round of Hungry Hungry Hippos

Found the person buying their own lunch.

Also you seem a bit touchy/overly snarky. I imagine you're only able to argue and not debate.

Either way. Point stands the same. You inform HR of your ( singular one time once )interaction and that it made you uncomfortable based on how not generally conceived as ok that reaction was. You see the potential for uncommon occurrences to be in some way distorted so you're making them aware in an effort to stop any confusion should any arise.

Imagine a male Co-worker invites and does pay and then assumes they are owed "a favor" in return and beyond that he gets standoffish with her refussal because well naturally "that's the way it works" in their head. .. you're assuming I mean sexual favor, I meant any favor. Make me these copies, run this erand. Etc etc. just like this woman assumed lunch with a man=free lunch for woman no matter how it came about.

Honestly my girlfriend did this at thanksgiving dinner. I don't know what it was. She's never done this before because I shut that shit down asap, no second date kind of thing.

But, this polite and classy girl Ive known for 2.5 years started talking with her mouthful in front of her family. I told her privately after about it but maybe it was some weird throwback to family culture growing up. Idk.

I’d report someone who expected a personal favor from me, not someone who didn’t say hi. This person seems pretty entitled and not above using someone to get something. If you think such behavior is ok that’s fine. I’d rather protect myself.

You’re right. Don’t back off. Report her. Don’t let anybody bully you into not reporting this in any manner at all. Your instincts are right. You need to have this paper trail or it could lead to trouble. Anybody who disagrees with this is not living in the real world today.

She knew you were the "shut the shit down asap" kind of guy and has been playing you for the long con. I'd bet she's not only a full mouth talker, but a mouth packer (puts way too much food in their mouth at one time before swallowing) as well.

Dammit. Now I'm hungry. Got any leftovers? I do dishes, if that matters.

Thank you for thanking me.

I work with a girl like this. She is a complete scumbag. But for different reasons. Just had an HR meeting this week because she said I was harassing her. I hate this girl so much that I haven’t voluntarily spoken to her in over a year (because of something she said to a customer about me) so to be accused of harassment was crazy! I told hr they needed to give her a dictionary so she can know what that word means.

Presumably it's the sort of place where you order at the counter and pay before they bring it to you.

that wouldve helped knowing beforehand

So.. I'm like really confused. How did this play out? Who arrived at the restaurant / diner first? How / when did she realise you weren't going to pay or was this based on a past experience? Did she move seat half way through?

So many questions.

Edit: Just saw this was at a work place cafeteria which makes sense now.

He does not want hr involved, he wants to protect himself if she gets hr involved.

This guy ducks (major issues at the workplace).

Pretty sure posting to /sub/adviceanimals constitutes a paper trail.

HR solution: fire them both. The company is protected.

well this was a cafeteria type of lunch where you order your food in a line and pay at the register

Seems they pay before sitting down.

I do dishes, if that matters.

I'll cook for you every fucking day. Get the fuck over here.