Missed you! How've you been? How's the family?

Dog: "Here comes Cow! He's got the best tasting boogers."

Cow: "Here comes Dog! He's got the best tasting boogers."

When aliens demand to meet our leader...we should send in a golden retriever.

"Hey doggo! This is my friend Sally, have you ever met herbivore? "

In all actuality, they would probably start barking at the Alien because chances are, the Alien would look nothing like a human or anything remotely "friendly" in the dog's eyes.

A beautiful symbiosis

"Did you just try to eat my face?"

Nah its made of pretty thick leather

Anyone else get nervous about the cows neck being sliced?

No a koala quokka hybrid. Adorable but riddled with Chlamydia.

Eating mucus is the act of extracting nasal mucus with one's finger (rhinotillexis) and the succeeding action of ingesting the mucus from the nose-picking (mucophagy). Nasal mucus is also termed as boogers, snot, bogeys, dried nasal mucus, mucus secretion, and other related terms including comerse los mocos (to eat one's snot).

Mucophagy is a common behavior in children. However, this action is condemned in most cultures and societies which try to prevent development of the habit and attempt to break it if already established. Mucophagy is a source of mockery and entertainment in the media thus confirming the social scorn previously mentioned.

The Obsessive–Compulsive Disorder Association of South Africa collectively concluded that nose picking (and mucophagy) are passing behaviors. Andrade and Srihari studied persons who were more apt to suffer from "habitual and obsessive–compulsive behaviors." They discovered that those with psychotic issues showed correlation between nose picking and self-mutilation motives. Diagnoses have also included passive–aggressive character disorder and schizophrenia.

Mucophagy has also been referred to as a "tension phenomenon" based on children's ability to function in their environment. The different degrees of effectively fitting in socially may indicate psychiatric disorders or developmental stress reactions. However, most parents view these habits as pathological issues. Moreover, Andrade and Srihari cited a study performed by Sidney Tarachow of the State University of New York which reported that people who ate their boogers found them "tasty."

Stefan Gates in his book Gastronaut discusses eating dried nasal mucus, and says that 44% of people he questioned said they had eaten their own dried nasal mucus in adulthood and said they liked it. As mucus filters airborne contaminants, eating it could be thought to be unhealthy; Gates comments that "our body has been built to consume snot", because the nasal mucus is normally swallowed after being moved inside by the motion of the cilia. Friedrich Bischinger, a lung specialist at Privatklinik Hochrum in Innsbruck, says that nose-picking and eating could actually be beneficial for the immune system.

In 2016 researchers in the quest for ways to fight superbugs discovered a promising candidate, a bacterium Staphylococcus lugdunensis that produces lugdunin, which The Week noted as "possibly a powerful antibiotic against resistant bacterial strains." The German team included study author Andreas Peschel, who told the L.A. Times "It was totally unexpected to find a human-associated bacteria to produce an antibiotic."

Send in the Koakka!


my nam is cow im in my field I lyk the grass itz tasty meal but wen I see my frend on log I get real close I lik the dog

Then don't! :D

I.... I think I learned something?

Can anyone confirm our deny please?

Someone feed that doggo!

"What an udder travesty, I dont believe I've had the pleasure!"

Not one bit, I've seen cows run through barbed wire fences and come out the other side just fine. Brushing up against one will do nothing.

I don't know if anyone ever told you but I feel it's important that you know neither cowhide nor muscle is knife proof and if you stab a cow it will put the same size hole in it as if you stab a person.

Stuff like this makes me sad i eat meat.

And where do we get leather?

Were talking about golden retrievers here. To them its an opportunity to make a new kind of friend!

"Excuse me?!"

You don't need to cut it out entirely immediately! Try starting by reducing your intake :)

I'll confirm your deny aaaaallllllll night.


"I lick you, cow."

"I lick you too, dog."

"Uhh, I think you guys mean 'like?'"


Man, try to stab a cow and see how easy that is. Cows are thick and covered in muscle, not squishy fat.

I saw one go through an electric fence and a barbed wire fence with out really noticing. It really wanted some random ass plant on the the other side of the fences and just walked over/through them and then went about it's merry way.

I want that brown cow. Adorable snout that I just wanna wrap up into a little ball and...

Based on some google searches.... This surprisingly checks out as 100% factual.

At least what wikipedia says. If some guys went that far as to modify wikipedia to support bullshit, then well what can we do?

Cow face is the best cut

The aliens will send in the equivalent of their golden retriever.

Here ya go:

Vitamin B12, because we wash our food now and stopped drinking well/river water quite some time ago 😊 $5 at CVS and you're set.

Black magic, duuuh.

I kept reading, expecting at any moment that either the Loch Ness monster would pop up asking for $3.50, or it'd be the Undertaker throwing Mankind off Hell in a Cell.

Was confused that it stayed straight-up informative all the way to the end.

Yeah, got a little tounge action going... They're pretty much dating now.

That's a pretty great relationship. I hope they're not mooving anytime soon.

Animals would totally use puns if they could talk

I didn't make the original comment, but sometimes I wish I didn't have to. Unfortunately, I have type-2 diabetes and don't do well on some of the higher-carb alternatives that would allow me to be vegan or vegetarian. All the traditional sources of plant-based protein come packed with carbohydrates (which to a type-2 diabetic is effectively the same thing as eating pure sugar).

I've tried not eating meat, but if the choice is between animal protein on a low-carb regimen or dangerously high blood glucose on a plant-based carb intensive diet, I'll have to go with the one that won't make me blind or lose a limb.

It's cool if other people go that way, though. I just want others to know that sometimes there are reasons why people don't choose a vegan/vegetarian lifestyle (reasons other than "meat is tasty," I mean).

slow claps

Dean Koontz has probably already written a book about that

Finally, a porno that fits my needs

Ya, he's kind of thin in the haunches there.

God damnit Gerald, we went over this. No touching of the hair or face!

That's so adorably War of the Worlds.

Hah, this guy's never tried cow anus before.



I don't know your specific situation but there is actually a lot of evidence that plant based diets can help improve and reverse diabetes. One example is the higher fiber content of plant-based diets, which can help slow digestion and slow the rate a which carbs are absorbed. This results in lower blood sugar peaks after meals.

Here is a good resource if you are interested: https://vndpg.org/docs/rd-resources/Diabetes-RD.pdf

That's the skinniest golden retriever I've ever seen. Normally they're kind of fat.


I call shenanigans

Let the extraterrestrial ass-sniffing commence.

Adorable but riddled with Chlamydia.

me too thanks

And a capybara!

Dean Koontz literally travels the country saving animals himself. I thought that was well known?

Is doggo old or is doggo underfed?

Go on..

It all depends where if you stick a knife into a cows thighs it won't go anywhere near as deep as a knife with the same force into a human thigh as cows have thicker skin and stronger muscles compared to humans lugging around 600kg is a bit more taxing.

Yes a cow isn't knife proof it would be folly to say otherwise but they are far more resistant than humans. Let's say out lovely golden decides he doesn't like this cow. How quickly could Ol' Buster tear his way through Betty's threat compared to Farmer Giles? That pooch could guarantee that our Farmer will be planting his next crop past the pearly gates within a single bite. Betty's gonna feel that first bite and the second maybe even the third.

I can't believe he wrote about a non-golden retriever dog


He's a farm dog, so he's probably very well fed and lean.

Pretty much. And it's worth noting that people who eat meat only get B12 because the cattle are fed B12 supplements.

Nah, but I was sad that it's probably going to be slaughtered 😢

If you're eating around 2,000 calories that's around 13% calories from protein. You could probably eat pretty much whatever (provided it's not a lot of pure fat or carb sources like sugar or oil) and 1 decent protein source for the day like tofu or beans and you would easily meet that goal.

I eat around 2,000 calories per day, I don't think about protein when I eat or aim for a ton and I still get around 60g/day on a vegan diet. My boyfriend gets at least 100-130g per day eating about 2500 calories using some higher protein sources like protein powders and mock meats.

Damn man, that sucks and I'm sorry to hear it. By all means, do what keeps you healthy. I'm sure you've done your research, but just in case: tofu, tempeh and legumes are quite high in protein and low in carb content.

Source: vegan for 1.5 years.

Haha good one. :P

It's like he fought off his primal instinct after each bite


Hm, would that be the reason for barking, or would it simply be the doggo's creed - "when in doubt, bark".

Not according to my yearly blood tests. *and general good health.

I will NOT be cowed by downvotes.

Yep, fur sure. They'd milk puns for all they're worth. It'd be like your standard reddit comment section.



Explain where enough protein comes from.

This is where you show your ignorance. There are SO MANY other sources of protein besides meat. I thought that was common knowledge now.

There's actually been a lot of studies done that show diets high in meat result in the body struggling to absorb sugar out of the blood stream because veins & cells are lined with too much cholesterol (which, in turn, leads to type-2 diabetes). Diets high in fibre (one example being a plant-based diet) can help reverse this effect. Just some food for thought :)

It tastes like shit

Send in the Quaggans

You're both udderly unbelieveable!

Well I mean I'm sure its neck will be sliced eventually... but no, not in this cute and happy gif.

Who knows, she might have already made it to someone's dinner plate.

I have never needed supplements...