Michigan cops may soon be barred from having sex with prostitutes while undercover

Michigan cops may soon be barred from having sex with prostitutes while undercover
Michigan cops may soon be barred from having sex with prostitutes while undercover

Well, just have sex on top of the covers, then.

It's a hard job, but someone has to do it.

-cop to his wife.

It's like a real life damn South Park episode.

This is a really smart way for Michigan cops to establish cover -- by breaking this rule in order to fool crooks. This is a whole other level to the "I AM NOT A COP" thing that Hollywood tries to trick criminals with.

(Finishes guy off) Freeeze buddy! I'm a cop

Undercover cop: "Hah, fooled you. This was a sting, you're under arrest"

Prostitue: "Hah, fooled you. I'm not actually clean. Have fun with hepatitis a-z."

Undercover cop: "Haha! fooled YOU! I wasn't clean already. I hope you like Gonorrhea."

Undercover cop: "Hah, fooled you. This was a sting, you're under arrest"

Prostitute: "Ha, I fooled YOU! I'm actually a undercover cop. You weren't supposed to have sex with me. You're going down buddy."

Undercover Cop: "But you also had sex with me while on duty, so you're coming down with me. And I'm not your buddy fweind."

The motel bed probably has bedbugs anyway. Don't bring that home.

That episode was funny ass fuck.

no longer be able to have sex with prostitutes who they’re investigating

It's only the case when investigating prostitutes, so what you said there may really be the case. There will be a lot about how cops "can't have sex with prostitutes", and some people will believe it.

So basically its just an affair between two cops....?

Bring the hooker; leave the bedbugs.

You mean, they're on paid leave

This is actually not about a sting.

It's about cops investigating a prostitute, then fucking her and arresting her afterwards. That's now illegal.

If they're investigating someone else, then they can still fuck with prostitutes.

Maybe the cops should just pay a citizen, like not me or anything, to have sex with prostitutes and report back which ones are prostitues or not. Then they can do all the arresting and paperwork while I, I mean someone, goes out and finds new leads. No little fish though, we're only going after the highest class criminals, preferably Latinas. Well, this way the cops don't have to do the dirty work required to nab all that sweet hooker money. Then they can use the money to pay for hookers when they're off the clock.

Imagine being the prostitute, showing up to court and seeing the cop you gave a BJ to just before he arrested you. That's totally fucked up.

Surprisingly, not exactly. Undercover cops are given A LOT of leeway in what they can do for the sake of a sting. There are exceptions, but GENERALLY an undercover cop can do almost anything other than instructing/inciting someone else to commit a crime. So as long as the cop is not the one who makes the offer to the prostitute (the prostitute needs to make the offer to the cop for it to be legitimate), then the cop would GENERALLY be able to legally have sex with the prostitute on the clock.

It's McNulty, banging the freaking prostitutes again

What next, not allowed to do drugs anymore?..

10 mins free? So thats basically giving away free sex to 90% of their clients.

Why not both? Who doesn't enjoy an orgy? Besides, your dick will look HUGE in thier little bedbug hands!

Yup, but they both end up in jail.

Wasn't that the butters bottom bitch one? Do you know what i am saying?

I'm out there putting my dick on the line every night and I have to come home to this shit!

Is this not the case now?

penal code


I didn't say they were going to live. I'm thinking of a Whack-a-mole kinda fantasy.

Would you rather screw 100 bedbug sized women or one woman sized bedbug?

100 bedbug sized women. I'm not saying I wouldn't fuck the woman sized bedbug after or something. But how often do you get to say you fucked 100 women, of any size? Not even extremist Muslims get to do that!

Come on you Sissy's I can fit more of you in me, Freeze!

Yea, I was accidentally being idealistic again.

That episode was funny as fuck.

The real LPT is in the comments

(Cop busts in on prostitute. Turns out to be his wife)

Wife: It's a hard dick, but someone had to do it.

I think that also means prostitutes could use it to weed out cops trying to investigate them.

First 10 minutes free (possibly recorded).

Fuck yeah. First fifteen sessions free sounds awesome.

It's about cops investigating a prostitute, then fucking her

They had to "collect the evidence" before they could arrest her, of course.

You would know...

Let's not get crazy

Hand me that evidence bag.

Michigan penal code.


750.520a (r)

"Sexual penetration" means sexual intercourse, cunnilingus, fellatio, anal intercourse, or any other intrusion, however slight, of any part of a person's body or of any object into the genital or anal openings of another person's body, but emission of semen is not required.


They'd probably claim the hepatitis is assault on an officer or something.

Then they'd arrest some donuts for being possibly related to powdered sugar in a drug-like fashion on their way to the station, finding them guilty and executing them on the spot.

There was a news story a while ago that I can't seem to find now where a local police agency had an undercover officer trying to solicit sex with a prostitute who happened to actually be an undercover officer from the state police trying to bust the people hiring prostitutes. The two spent quite some time trying to get the other to initiate. They finally realized what was going on when the state troopers backing up the "prostitute" saw the local police officers who were backing up the other officer in the hallway.

You would be correct....FREEZE!!

You think you got the nanopenis to handle it?

Joking about sucking dick is not fucking funny.

Handys are tree fiddy.

They aren't already barred from that? That's kind of messed up: we are paying public servants to go have sex for money, which they're doing legally to catch people doing the same thing because it is illegal?

Maybe they should just legalize and regulate prostitution?

Cop busts in prostitute...

When the jester is funny because his jokes are true, the king is the real fool.

Reading this as a person who is disgusted by the freedom land, holy shit. How about spending their work force to find human traffickers instead of the poor, probably exploited girl trying to get by with the oldest profession there is ? I always thought it's a ridiculous joke that cops in the US get off (hah) busting (hah2) a hooker. Like how can you be more pathetic ? Your country is an oligarchy and the undercover cops are cleaning the streets of poor girls. Way to go

Actually I think the prostitute is the one collecting evidence.

It is ludicrous that prostitution is illegal in the first place. The behaviour of consenting adults whose behaviour hurts no one is certainly not any business of the Government. Apart from income tax purposes. Anyone who works and is not self employed is renting their body and/or mind.

The idea of paying police to visit prostitutes is offensive on so many levels. Opportunities for corruption are endless.

It says the law is penetration. Does that include BJs? To me penetration is P in V

Yes, I know what you're saying.

I'll openly admit to using prostitutes in the past many times but it is legal to do so here and I never hire them from the paper etc ( yes they do advertise ) I went to proper establishments where the girls are required to have health checks etc

Never felt uncomfortable or embarrassed, was a bit apprehensive my first time but the madam suggested I pick a particular girl who was great with first timers and had an absolutely fantastic enjoyable experience

but not you, citizen. Gotcha.

I prefer it when bakeries give me donuts because they love me.

You know, I've known that South Park will always have material as long as there are things people take too seriously. Nowadays, it seems that the only thing that could put them out would be the inability to satirize the utter absurdity of real life. It's hard to one-up reality right now.

Username seems to be in order.

Well...he was overpowered man.

You could choke laughing while sucking dick.

ALRIGHT BUDDY... here we go.

Some of these guys didn't even use condoms!

The hepatitis thing isn't far off. You can be charged with attempted murder in some places for giving another person HIV, whether through sex or lying about blood donations. Even spitting with HIV can be considered "criminal transmission of HIV."

Edit: wiki article about criminal transmission of HIV

This made me laugh and then it made me sad.

Wait they needed to have sex with the prostitute first then they can arrest her? Thats fucked up. He babe I'm almost there let me cum on ur face. Ahhh. Oh that was.....your under arrest. No you can't wash ur face that's evidence. Lol

This is why sex work needs to be legal.

He was outnumbered!


Every time I c comments like these, I wonder how many Redditors would actually have sex with a prostitute. That shit sounds uncomfortable and embarrassing as fuck, I doubt most guys would be cool with it even if an opportunity presented itself with a hot, clean escort.

Edit: ITT: Lots of guys who have never been with a hooker telling me they (and others) totallyyy would

um, if cops are having sex as part of their job and getting paid for their time doing it, then they ARE the prostitutes.

Yes, sucking dick is a serious subject and should not be joked about.

This sounds like an episode of Brooklyn Nine Nine.

absolutely fucking disgusting



You got one hell of a refractory period there, bro.

It certainly sounds handy.

The way around it is, "I can't do illegal thing that you're requesting, unless you threaten me." Because it is a rule that they can't threaten you in a sting. It's coercion.

The police are prohibited from using physical or psychological coercion when conducting police interrogations. A confession or evidence that results from coercive tactics is inadmissible at trial. The police, for example, may not use torture techniques, threats, drugging, or inhumane treatment during an interrogation. http://criminal.findlaw.com/criminal-rights/faqs-police-interrogations.html

came here for the obvious the wire reference, have your upvote.

They agree: http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/news/donald-trump-adminstration-satire-south-p...

As an Aussie it still shocks me each time I remember other countries don't have legalised prostituion. Why isn't everything straightforward and above board, it's just a logical thing to do.

The next thing we need to legalise is weed, it'd solve our budget deficit super fast.

That would be too European you dirty commie


The fuck did I do?

It's okay as long as you're doing it to ruin someone's life instead of just trying to make a living or have fun.

Same thing with dealing drugs. It's bad when Mexicans or blacks do it but it's totally cool when the DEA does it to ensure their own job security.

Fuck that. Let's get riggity-riggity wreeecked, son!

What is the consensus on denying bathroom time during interrogation? Being stuck in a room for hours not allowed to pee is torture for me, Captain Tiny Bladder.

Undercover cop: freeze, I'm a cop!

Undercover prostitute: freeze, I'm also cop! Wait a minute...

Undercover cop: let's agree not tell the guys at the station about this...

Wow that IS a relevant username.

so if they both had STDs, would that be the sexual equivalent of a fight? Does wrestling in the bedroom take on a whole new meaning? I need /sub/shittyaskalawyer to answer these questions, please.

Wouldn't the cop then be able to get her for distribution of narcotics?

Well it was about this time I noticed that this prostitute was about 8 stories tall and was a crustacean from the protozoic era!

How is that a problem? Why should they be able to go undercover, pay for sex, then arrest someone for having sex for money?

I want to imagine that this has happened sometime before.

It would make for a fucking amazing porn.

Pee on the floor. It's better than internal rupturing!

Nah, just tell the suspected cop to touch your bare genitals or to let you touch his. Something that would technically cross the line of "no sex" but not get a legitimate customer anywhere if they happen to not be a cop. Maybe have him suck your nipple.

Or they could ask the suspected officer to do some drugs (maybe devils lettuce). I don't think cops in Michigan can do that undercover. This would work even with existing laws.

Is this what they mean when they say "getting fucked by the long hard dick of the law?"

But those thing could remain illegal even if prostitution gets decriminalized. Illegal prostitution means the sex workers can't go to the police if needed, getting appropriate health care is more difficult.

Decriminalizing prostitution would protect sex workers while focusing law enforcement efforts on human trafficking and child exploitation.

Dee, you bitch.

That's a real thing btw- super AIDS exists If two people have sex with different kinds of AIDS, they combine to make a new strain of AIDS

Clean? Of course I would do it, if I knew she wasn't being forced to be a prostitute. Would have no problems with that. You pay people to do other services for you, so what's it matter if you pay for sex?

Prostitution is legal in Aus?!?! (Fellow Aussie here)

Too easy. No points.

No, because friends and family are who you're supposed to have meaningful connections with. Sex doesn't have to always be that way

But what if they both had herpes and they fused together and formed super herpes... great, now I need /sub/shittyaskscience too.

Damn it 'nessie I ain't givin' you no tree fiddy. I dun care how long yer neck is, it ain't wurt a dam tree fiddy nufin'

You watch too much TV, I think.

nah man, gang initiations and other organized groups are designed to weed out cops. That's why serious gangs require you to get blood on your hands before they will trust you.

You should read some stories of how blurry the line gets for cops and what things they actually end up doing undercover.

It's a very gray area of the law. It is indeed hard to say sometimes if it does more good than bad.