only a sith deals in absolutes
I don't understand this ongoing meme that significant others hate video games by default. Choose a partner who fits your lifestyle instead of swimming upstream. My wife doesn't play video games, but they doesn't mean she didn't sit in line with me to pick up a PS4 on day one.
Isn’t that an absolute?
sits down with girlfriend to watch movie
Girlfriend on phone constantly scrolling Facebook, and other social medias not paying attention to movie or boyfriend
Married for 15 years with 4 kids here. I game nearly every night.
If she's bringing it up yes it might be because she's crazy and controlling, but it might also be because her partner's got a serious addition addiction which can be just as harmful in the relationship as any other type of addiction.
One of the sweetest things I remember about my ex-girlfriend was from one night early in our relationship when she had turned in for the night before me.
Being a night owl I wasn't tired yet, so I left the bedroom to go play a videogame on the tv in the living room. After a short time, she got out of bed to join me there, just so we could cuddle and be together while I played my single-player game. She had no interest in playing games with me so games weren't something we did together, but they also weren't an obstacle.
And just in case someone somehow takes this as her being submissive to me, I also regularly joined her to watch anime shows I had no interest in... Relationships are a partnership, people!
Five years married. one kid. Same deal.
While I won't give an ultimatum, my boyfriend has been spending AT LEAST 13 hours a day playing PUBG. Were both out of work, me for a significant injury and he because his job haa no work for a few more weeks. While I realize its a just a game, he's been neglecting any sort of house hold responsibility, can't keep track of time and is consistently late and rushed.for commitments we have, and has been blowing off his usual outings with friends to play. I'm really getting fed up with it. I don't care if he plays for a while, I also play video games so i get it. But its bad. And then ill used kindle and watch Netflix or something and 'the boys' complain about hearing it through the mic. I can't even use my own living room.
My wife started playing games with me because she was bored of just watching. Fast forward 10 years later now Me, my wife and two kids all play together.
this is what i deal with. But i do get on avg 25 hours a week to game. Plus i hunt. Plus i get every Sunday for football. Guess i got it pretty well
Lmao I’ve actually broke up with a girl for a similar reason. She said I had to pick smoking weed or her (I was only smoking alone at nights). Told her I obviously wouldn’t pick a fucking plant over someone, but i’d definitely pick having my freedom to not feel like I’m 15 and just got caught smoking weed by my parents lol.
And just in case someone somehow takes this as her being submissive to me
Where would this even come from? Oh wait, it's the internet.
Video games are time-consuming. People don't like hobbies that constantly take them away from their partners for hours and hours at a time, even if they share those habits.
Most wives who "don't like video games" just "don't like their husbands staring at a screen all weekend ignoring them." If the husband were watching sports, or TV, or building model trains they would be equally annoyed.
Its because video games are used as a common scapegoat for other issues. It's because "You should spend more time with me" often ignores the reason they game in the first place and is sometimes not even reasonable. It's because the games are something people feel compete for their attention, like it's a romantic rival or something.
Source: I was once married to someone I spent hours with per day that was still threatened by video games. She was basically a black hole for all of my time and energy and it was never enough. Literally anything else was a threat.
My ex wife was an extreme version, but represents a core issue. It's often not the games themselves but an insecurity or difference in social/bonding wavelengths.
Also, if someone is seriously addicted to video games then it's obvious very fast. If it's an issue months in you ignored alot of red flags. Maybe the issue isn't just them but you as well in that case.
1 year married. No kids. Wife and I game every night. It’s the tits.
Even given that circumstance I think this would be a terrible way to handle it. Given an ultimatum many addicts would choose their addiction. Talking about it being an actual addiction and coming up with a structured plan of action is much more appropriate.
An aurora of mystery?
At this time of year?
At this time of day?
In this part of the internet?
Localized entirely within your trilby?
Japan has artificial butts that respond to touch like a real butt would but no gay marriage? Wtf?
Single. Still. :(
Good thing im a sith
True, there's a balance. But it could also be a sign that she doesn't have any interests or hobbies of her own that can be done without her partner.
Sounds like a downer for sure. 13 hour play sessions daily is definitely stretching it too much, no matter which game it is.
I've never played PUBG, though I'm sure a game of that survival genre with friends makes it extremely easy to lose track of time... but when it interferes with basic shared household responsibilities? I would try talking with him about it. The game could be a great stress reliever for him like a lot of people, but there's a limit that should be acknowledged.
Hope you recover well from your injury!
"Ugh, all you do is spend all day on your computer!"
Girlfriend goes back to scrolling facebook and snapchat
Part of the club. Six years married. One kid with another on the way. Definitely get plenty of game time in.
I live in Japan. That isn't legal here. :(
True. I know someone whose past 2 relationships ended because of his WoW addiction, just at the computer 24/7 while the live in girlfriend just wanted to spend ANY time with them. It was rare torture for him to just sit on the couch and watch a movie with her because he had scheduled raids. He finally quit many years later, but that after the breakups.
BUT... in the other case, I've met girls like this and it isn't fair at all. But GUYS CAN DO IT TOO. I an ex that actually got on my case for gaming on my own time on days we didn't hang out! I told him to stop telling me how to spend my personal time, geez.
*tilts trilby to create aurora of mystery
you should. you really fucking should
I'm not a woman but we can still get married :)
Well when you add in that he sleeps at least 10 hours lol. It's a fun game i admit, I like it and can easily play any game for a few hours. Especially when rounds can last anywhere from 5 minutes to 40. But we wake up, I brush my teeth, come out and the game is already on. I have to plead with him to help me clean since 1) I'm injured and 2) the majority of anything messy is his. He's playing this game so mish hes leaving his dishes in the living room, drinks and trash all over the couch, stuff all over the bedroom and bathroom. Usually puts his trash on the table near the trash can instead of in it because he has to rush back to the controller. I might as well be his secretary because if I don't harass him to get ready for something, he will miss it, like the wedding we had last weekend. Its getting rough.
don't buy loot boxes
There's a thing called sacrifice and compromise in a relationship. You can have expectations of your partner.
Sounds like you have an ...interesting view of relationships.
...may I see it?
Is this what people call a shitpost? Just wondering.
That's not too bad. One thing I'm excited about is going on more hikes with my girlfriend. If you're an outdoor guy, I highly recommend it
In a healthy relationship, both partners do many things they don't want to do for each other and can trust each to communicate on both concerns with time and money. There, I fixed that for you.
Yes! As a woman who appreciates some good fun, I don’t get why some get so upset over their man gaming! I mean, if he’s got a problem where he’s doing it for like 12 hours a day, sure. But otherwise, let him play! Hell, if it’s multiplayer, grab the second controller and join in. If he’s a good significant other, he’ll be delighted, even if it takes you a bit to figure things out. If a guy told me to pick between him and comics, I’d just be like “bitch, if you’re gonna be like that, I don’t want you anyway!” For this exact reason. Sorry.... I got a little.... passionate there....
Woah, mature relationship advice in my /sub/gaming? How dare!!!
Phones are different guys. Because of _ blank _ ?
This, so much fucking this.
Especially when it was her idea to sit down and watch the movie/tv show. Then 20 mins later, asking me what's going on in the story or needing me to explain what's happening.
Got to the point where I either take her phone away when we watch or if she starts playing on the phone I turn the show off.
Nothing wrong with being submissive, as long as it's a choice.
Video games are time-consuming
Quite literally everything is time-consuming.
Ultimatums set a dangerous precedent in relationships.
I think what happened is that he was always sappy in love during the honeymoon period, then he'd move way too fast and get bored once they move in because, WoW. The girls didn't know what they were getting into until they lived with him.
balance is the key word.
obviously if one plays video games all weekend and every evening then there is no balance and that is the problem. Issues arise when shit that needs to get done, doesn't get done.
How does someone that can't find time to watch a movie with a SO convince someone to move in?
It’s treason then!
Holy shit I'm going through the same thing right now. I thought I had it all resolved, but now it's suddenly a problem again.
The Jedi were a very confused group of people.
My boyfriend games and he recently got a switch. He's started playing in bed every night and I stare angrily at him until he lets me play mario kart with him.
If this ultimatum was out of the blue, then the meme is correct. If the ultimatum is after a couple of talks and no progress to give his girl the attention she might need over a game, then you are correct.
There should be a balance of doing what you love and being with your love.
They key word you're ignoring, for some reason, is "deal". You can discuss absolutes all day, just don't deal in them. Understand?
I can imagine that if this was the case, and an ultimatum was given same as the meme, that the S.O. would probably already have made effort to talk it over. I don’t think anyone but a complete luntatic would start the conversation like this. And if they did, then the warning signs for their inability to have a conversation or work out problems would be very evident from the beginning. And if that’s the case, the “gamer”, if you will, would not be surprised at the crazy.
We are all sith in this blessed day!
General kenobi!!!! You are a bold one!
Only a sith
Sounds pretty absolutely to me.
How does he respond to you laying out these issues?
/sub/prequelmemes, you are a bold one
It's over, me! I have the higher ground!
I liked the story better before the disclaimer.
At least you healthcare :(
I'll try rationalization, that's a good trick.
He's not trying to deal in absolutes, only explaining.
this is an /sub/gaming post
That's another thing. I don't get people who assume or make the claim that becoming an adult/getting married/having kids/having a job means you never get to play video games again.
if he’s got a problem where he’s doing it for like 12 hours a day, sure.
Yeah, that's actually shockingly common.
Now let's have some solid financial advice. Anyone?
And it shall not be 5, for that is too much, and it shall not be 1 for that is too little, 2 is the number you shall count.
Wait, fuck, wrong movie.
mmm mmm steamed hams!
You underestimate your own power.
8 years dead, married to the night, no kids
still game every morning
The meme comes from people not realizing or respecting boundaries. My wife doesn't care that I play video games; my wife cares if our kids are screaming, the dog needs walking, the house is a mess, and I'm only helping by cleansing the Commonwealth of synthetic scum.
Like every hobby, it can't trample over the other person.
You definitely need to talk to him about this. That sounds like an addiction for sure and especially if he is neglecting you.
It's nice to date someone who's an avid gamer. They're less likely to go outside and cheat on you.
Oh I definitely agree man, if you have an issue with smoking you shouldn’t date smokers, and if you smoke you shouldn’t date people who have an issue with it.
Thing with this girl was I literally first met her by selling weed to her, she often smoked with me, and even smoked with her friends when I wasn’t there. Blew my mind when she said that shit and she still didn’t understand and thought I broke up with her because I loved weed. I don’t even smoke anymore lmao
"Do or do not, there is no try." Sith Lord Yoda
I think it's totally reasonable to request your partner to stop smoking weed or cigarettes.
I obviously don't know your specific situation, but in my experience, people who smoke don't know how badly they smell, and how much it affects their personality.
Not even to mention that weed is still illegal in a lot of areas, and some people don't want to deal with the potential trouble it could cause.
MMO Raiding is such an evil thing. I don't know how many times I had to say no to something because I had to raid. It wasn't even the raid that I cared about, I just didn't want to screw over the rest of the people that needed me to be on in order to raid.
They're the same sort of people who got upset over their guy watching sports or fishing or whatever in the past. Either they themselves have no independent interests and need to be entertained, or they are controlling and want him to be doing things for them.
I seriously doubt that's the only expectation you have
I might not be.
Get off your dumb game and watch this movie with me.
I assume you would have by now, but have you sat him down and had a firm talk to let him know how big of a problem it's being? If so, has he shown any signs that he cares?
Hell, for our first Christmas as a married couple my wife bought me a PS4. She doesn’t play video games, aside from old Nintendo stuff, but realizes it’s something I enjoy.
How about expectation not to cheat, loyalty, being there during your rough times, taking care of kids (if you decide to have some)? I can keep going. It's too convenient to put those things under "respect" and "communication."
Fact is everyone has expectations, and just because you expect little, or think you do, doesn't mean your partner doesn't expect a lot more than you originally anticipated. Relationships are about accepting and adapting to changes, new challenges, commitments, expectations...mutually. It's a team effort. You might have to give up some video game time for a while to raise kids properly.
There's nothing wrong with expectations as long as they're mutually arrived at. Unreasonable expectations are poison.
"It's me or the ultimatums."
Are you me?