"Facebook is terrified to have Mark Zuckerberg speak to Congress because as awkward as he seems online he is 10 times more awkward in real life."

"Facebook is terrified to have Mark Zuckerberg speak to Congress because as awkward as he seems online he is 10 times more awkward in real life."

the technicians are working round the clock programming zuckerberg for his big event.

Zuck: Yeah so if you ever need info about anyone at Harvard

Zuck: Just ask

Zuck: I have over 4,000 emails, pictures, addresses, SNS

Friend: What? How'd you manage that one?

Zuck: People just submitted it.

Zuck: I don't know why.

Zuck: They "trust me"

Zuck: Dumb fucks

Yea this guy is definitely going to protect your information from government overreach lol

I wonder if they figured out the sweating profusely bug?

He seems awkward in heavily scripted and edited videos he produces. Seriously awkward and he still thinks, "Yes, that's a good take my humans. Let's download that to our users brains immediately."

They just need to cut out vents to switch him over from liquid to air cooling, but that's more of a hardware problem.

He's given over 70 percent of the info to them already.

This is why I couldn't EVER see this guy running for President. He would choke during the first debate. Sweater interview anyone?!?

"I am Zuckerberg. I control information." "Kill all humans." "There. Now no one can say I don’t own John Larroquette’s spine."

Doesn't he just copy things from other people? He might just do, word for word, the speech Howard Hughes did to Congress.

social media- a window into your mind, your family and friends. FB, I phone, text messaging- all pushed as socially acceptable. They know everything about you and people freely give this out for the whole world to see and capture. Think about that- every keystroke, text message, photo, comment you make is permanently captured and can/will be exploited.

As he just farts through the entire speech.

You can't win without some charisma. Trump, Reagan, rapin bill all had charisma.

he is a droid.

He walks into a joint session of Congress, tries to read the room but his "social cues" AI module fouls up, so he starts doing Bilbo Baggins' 111th birthday speech. Puts on ring, starts furtively skulking around, doesn't realize that he's not invisible

I was introduced to someone at a private dinner party two weeks ago. They said it was a "red flag" that I didn't have a Facebook. Kek.

Haha! He wants to run for President of the US and his own company is afraid for him to speak in front of Congress.

Also you're seen as an outcast and "weird" if you don't use social media, when I still remember a time people actually valued their privacy.

That's a feature. Teeth, nails, hair, sweat, bad breath.

I think if they edit the Posture-Head.exe file they’ll have him fixed. In particular this like of Zuckerbergs code:

printf("move head like ostrich\n"); scanf("%d",&n);


And this guy wants to be our latex salesman...

with his open mouth blank stare and lean grin

Run, don't walk from that person.

I already disposed of his business card in the trash can and privately mocked his "social skills" to the mutual friend who introduced us. Also, anonymously mocking him online. Kek. :)

Mk I Zuckerbot

Sessions: “I am not an elf and my office is not Rivendell. Please leave, Mark.”

Can we meme this into reality? I wanna see him short circuit on CSPAN.

So let me get this straight. Donald Trump isn't qualified to be president, but Mark Zuckerberg, Chelsea Clinton, and Oprah are?

What kind of billionaire can't even score an attractive wife?

They have decided to go with the "already in production" Killery bot. They just need to change a few facial features so no one will notice.

She was a diversity hire.. I mean, spouse.


Well, he's a puppet so .................

No there's no Art Vandelay here...

Once The Zuck can answer a captcha correctly, then it's time to panic bois.

Just bring in the dogs. They always manage to sniff out the Zuckernators.

404 - Alpha Not Found

I found your bug. You're printing his head movement rather than actually moving his head.

Hopefully he wears his dress up pocket t shirt and flip flops

Just take the one from Disney’s hall of presidents

Remember how bad Rubio was sweating,popping pills and drinking water non-stop...I can only imagine Zuckerberg being like this only 1000 times worse.

Enough of these events may trigger his anxiety so hardcore it may give him a form of PTSD.

Who's this tubby bald guy? He's pretty sensible.


I tried to look it up.

I think it's this one?

An anonymous source tells me they’ve given up hope and instead reached out to Jim Henson’s people to see if they can run it in person with a hand up his ass.

Supposedly Trump said he would take her as his running mate before.

Which is kinda why Oprah scares me a bit. But seems like Trump isn't worried about it.

I think he worked for fb but I don't remember. He was on Friday's infowars show


What was the sweater interview?

I don't pay attention to Cuckerberg so apparently I've missed out on how awkward he is.

I know some nerds and some geeks (apparently there IS a difference..?)

None of them are awkward like Zuckerberg.

I have a business friend who wrote his own app that's in the Apple and google stores, has about 1 million downloads.. and he's not awkward.

The most socially awkward person I've met is a very smart mechanical engineer, and even HE isn't awkward like mark Zuckerberg.

I'd like to see zuckberg in a debate. I just want to see him fail.

Whoever goes against Trump in 2020 is gonna lose. Some of them will cause more trouble for Trump than others, but some of them would be down right hilarious to see in a debate.

It wouldn't even be fair for Trump to debate... well, anyone! Trump went up against the richest, most corrupt, most evil politicians and dynasties in the world.. and in so doing gave us some of the greatest quotes of all time, ever, in any timeline!