Every time I play an fps online ...

Every time I play an fps online ...

There's two types of people in this world, the people who become unstoppable killing machines when the pressure is on, and you.

I always appreciated in 1.6 when server admins would add a little rock song that played when you were the last one alive, always helped kick me into ride or die mode.

"I aaaaam the one and only"

"Right you dickheads. Watch how it's done..."

Round Lost

Not in CS:GO competitive. All four dead members of your team feel compelled to scream advice in your ear as you try to focus.

This repost is probably older than OP.

back when ingame voice comms you couldnt hear your dead teammates talking to each other if you were last man standing. you knew they were talking shit and judging you. then you'd die and hear that one guy "FUCKING KNEW HE'D LOSE IT"

"Omg wat da fak u doing idiot cyka he's B GO B HE'S GOING TO PLANT B"

>Come out from cover in bombsite A

>Immediately get shot from long A

"Blyaaaat noob pls kick"

Yeah or as soon as you die five guys go "ooooooooh" because you almost pulled it off, or they're all freaking out because you did it.

bindtoggle <key> "voice_enable"

Everytime I'm the last one alive regardless of games I say that. A few of my friends who I played 1.6 with back in the day understand, the rest have no idea what I'm talking about.

I also say "Uh. Uh. Uh. Where is it?" when I can't find something (in reference to Duke 3D) and I swear none of my friends know what I'm talking about, probably all think I'm an idiot for that one.

Yeah I talk mad shit and almost immediately die afterwards.

I have the ability to use that pressure and adrenaline to really kick it up a notch when I am last one alive. But I get so fucking angry when I take out 3 of the 4 remaining enemy players but die attempting to get the 4th guy and my teammates flame me and call me garbage. I am like shit, I thought I put in a nice try....

That's the best when you're last CT alive and defuse. They go insane

2008 when this would be called an image macro instead of a meme.

Getting flamed by everyone who was too shitty to survive makes my dick move.

yeh then half the fucking team tries to kick you - despite the fact they died 10 seconds after the match started. (looking at you, R6 siege).

Rest of team is dead

Get annoyed because how did these muppets die, oh my god they are terrible, why do I get paired up with such colossal retards holy shit, the matchmaking system is working against me this is seriously depressing, why do I always have to fucking clutch this shit, I wonder the magic I could work with a proper team fucking hell.

Yea, I remember seeing this on my Facebook feed in like 2010

My fondest memory of being "last man standing" was on Prodigy in ~1.4 I think? Joined late so all I could do was buy ammo or whatnot as T.

My entire team rushed APC way and got eliminated in the first 30 seconds. I'm thinking "Well, shit." and double back to CT spawn and hear one coming, burst-fire glock the guy in the face around a corner. Take his M4 and go to the security door, hear a guy running up to it, fire thru the door and kill him, pop the door and shoot the guy on the security hut. Climb the hut drop off and catch another unawares headed to CT spawn.

Eventually it's 1 on 1 and only 45 secs left, so CT has won if he just hides. I decide to plant the bomb anyways and lie in wait and the idiot comes to defuse it despite not enough time and kill him with 10 seconds remaining.

6 on 1 victory starting with no armor and a burst-fire glock. I was laughing so hard I was crying.

They found it etched in King Tut's chamber

Ninja defuse

I remember one particular match in WoT where I was the only tank to cover a flank and as my team slowly died more and more would harass me in chat about how we were losing because I was barely moving and "doing nothing." Fast forward 10 minutes and it's me vs 3, with no less than 6 dead teammates complaining at me or nagging me on what I should be doing. Fuck dead teammates, there's a reason they're dead. I ended that match with 6 kills and a win.

I never understood why the dead guys yell at you and judge you so much because they are the losers that died and left it up to you.

The R6S community is my favorite.

Yeah I sing that or that one line from like Godsmack or Dwayne Johnson or something that they often modded in "Iiiii stand aloooone!"

I'm glad Insurgency/Day of Infamy added the little HQ voice that lets you know. Last-man-alive alerts are great, and they usually say something like "pull something off or get out of there" which for some reason centers my shooter-chi.

Remember "Clutch or kick"? I've literally had my whole team die without getting a kill then i kill 4 of the 5 enemies and get killed by a grenade and they votekicked me.

During this time I sneak up behind 4 enemy's , throw a nade and start spraying. Miss every shot, blind my self and then get 360 no scoped.

One Friendly Operator Remaining

[Vote to Kick mobclutch 1/4]

voice_scale is better imho. They can still hear your calls but you can shut their annoying voices from blasting in your ear.

If I was on your team, I would tell you "nice try"

like an off switch that is also an on switch?!

you absolute madman!

Not always the case.

Some people play extremely aggressive and are doing good with that. They rush and flash themselves in and take out 40 to 60% of the enemy team and the remaining 80% of their team fail to win the round by simply moving in the wrong direction / towards the enemy..

I feel like the other people on your team who witnessed this remember your CS skills to this day.

Could have it on a single key with a bindtoggle.

I mainline Rust (Salt simulator 2017) and paid for DayZ. Abuse me daddy.

Should've clutched

gets stabbed

It happens all the time in R6. Someone team-spawn-kills you and no one bats an eye, outlive the rest of the team and suddenly they all want you out their team.


To be fair if they were that useless and immature you'd be better off with new teammates anyways.


Really? I always heard


Hey, its hard to focus when your team is shouting at you in the mic.

I have had it where I was called a god by all my teammates after getting a 1v5 ace in an early round, then I lose a 1v1 late and those same guys will call me garbage and tell me to uninstall.

Its like do you remember calling me a GOD!?!?! You thought I was great 15 minutes ago, but since I failed once all of a sudden I am garbage?

FPS games bring out the worst in people lol

World of Tanks.

The game where EVERYONE is so damn proud of their stats yet don't understand that being better than most people means exactly that. If you are "good", most others are "bad".

So every game, half of your team will be complaining that you have a "team of retards", usually while unceremoniously dying in the first two minutes doing little to no damage to the enemy.

I guess most of these people never played baseball. Look, a great batter only gets a hit 3 out of 10 times. Imagine Ken Griffey Jr. bitching 70% of the time. A good WoT player wins about 55% of the time... and bitches about 70% of the games ;)

Isn't it funny that no one in WoT loses 12-0 and says, "wow, the other team played a great game", nor does anyone say "wow, we won 12-0. The other team was a bunch of retards!"

Perspective people. When you win, you aren't the greatest and when you lose, it isn't everyone's fault.

WoT is a team sport played mostly by people who never played team sports :(

you like the abuse dont you?

No sniping down the 1 hostage you left alive before the CT makes it to the evac is priceless. cs_assault was my jam as a sniper.

They like to advise you that you're shit.

Clutch or kick, bitch.

It's been seen in cave paintings in Africa

How do people still upvote this fucking thing.

"watch this" throws grenade, bounces back and kills self

I remember one time in CoD:MW2, back in high school, I was playing Search and Destroy (deliver a bomb to a point, no respawns) on Afghan with some school friends. I end up as the last one alive on defense, but I know where the bomb is (over near the big anti-aircraft gun, for people who know the map). Since I was trying out the M21 EBR, a sniper rifle, I had a ghillie suit on, so I opt to hide in a bush on top of one of the rocks near the AA gun, which gives me a line of sight for all three angles of approach. One by one, the three remaining enemies make their way over to me and get picked off, winning the round for my team. I'm all smiles, waiting for my team to tell me how awesome I am.

Instead, I get "you're an idiot", "there's no way that should have worked", "are those guys blind". I'm like, "dude, I was in a ghillie suit hiding in foliage, I'm kinda hard to see." They replied, "no, look, watch the replay.". So we get a replay of the last guy I picked off. I'm expecting to be able to notice myself - after all, I knew where I had hidden - but to be pretty obscured.

Instead, I get a view as the guy rounds a corner and somehow completely misses the dude dressed in obviously out-of-place shrubbery, crouched on top of a rock, with small bits of a bush around his ankles. I don't know how he missed me, much less all three of them.

My team was totally right, but it was still hilarious.

As you get up in ranks you actually are given a lot of useful info if you're trying to clutch. And you learn to give useful info. You also learn when to shut the fuck up.

The day I stopped giving a shit about what other people think is the day I truly started enjoying gaming.

That's not to say you shouldn't try your best, just if some jackass is calling you out - don't get super butthurt over it.

I purposely made Survival mode my main mode in Rainbow 6 Vegas for this reason.

If you die, you have to watch the remaining players in the 10-person game duke it out.

I was so good at that game I could kill all 9 people by myself, while they watched. Most didnt even get mad, they were just impressed I could do that on xbox.

I wish I was that good at any other game...

Sry repost

bind "F11" "voice_enable 0"

bind "F12" "voice_enable 1"

you are welcome. :)

No, they received it from cosmic background radiation.


Didnt they find this right next to a dinosaur fossil when they unearthed it?

I actually use a slightly different solution myself. My voice key is actually an alias that does voice_enable 1 as well as activating my mic. That way I can still make calls and if I forget to reenable voice it gets enabled again next time I say something.

It's funny that they flame you when their own skills are obviously very inadequate. Damn back seat gamers.

Probably different when it's a girl emulating dukes mildly suggestive moans over discord but this is one thing I refuse to stop. :p

I was in a clutch or kick when it was 14-0 us. I clutched and they kicked me anyhow. I dont have any friends with the game so I get stuck with garbage like that every other time.

When I first started playing SOCOM, I remember how TERRIBLE I felt when I was the last person left and my team kept 'voting to kick' me...I was like wtf YOU bastards are all dead and IM being voted out.

MONTHS later, I learned that was the team code for 'LOOK BEHIND YOU'.

Dumbest thing ever.

You know the repost is real when it was made before CS:GO released

Bind f11 "toggle voice_enable"

Why bind two when you can bind one?

Yeah now imagine if you were a girl on top of it. On the rare occasion I do an fps anymore I use my bf's gamer tag and avoid talking on mic. Makes life so much easier.


I also say "Uh. Uh. Uh. Where is it?" when I can't find something (in reference to Duke 3D) and I swear none of my friends know what I'm talking about, probably all think I'm an idiot for that one.

I do this sometimes and I'm pretty sure nobody else gets it. D3D was the greatest FPS ever...

Reminds me of an epic tale.

1 vs 5 or 6 tanks with a Char D1 alone with only HE shells on Malinovka while stuck in the swamp. Everyone complaining with most leaving eventually. Only to, and I really wish I could see the look on their faces, see "Victory" pop up in their notifications

I still can't remember exactly how the hell it happened, but I have the Kolobanov's medal, on a damn D1, to prove it.

The Scorpion King, duh. Best movie and soundtrack ever.


There was a favorite prop hunt server I used to play on that last prop alive gonna one-hiy-kill weapon to fight back against the hunters and some fast paced Dubstep played while the chaos went on. Meanwhile the dead team is watching you loop around corners while trying to evade rockets.

I have yet to upvote this pic. All the times I've seen it I haven't clicked/tapped that arrow.

Waiting for the right moment.

Oh man, you really do like the abuse. I played dayz mod the week it was created all the way until I bought 3 copies of dayz standalone for me and a couple friends. I dont enjoy the abuse, but it still happens to me.

Clutch or kick, amirite? XD

Oh god this. Then you can't hear where the people are so they bitch at you more for getting killed

Hey fuck them, those losers died.

I've had this happen a bunch of times. It's doubly hilarious clutching a game as like a kv-2 against higher tiers with everyone bitching. I swear half the population of WoT is too damn stupid to go back to garage, there's no reason to spectate unless you really want to watch the full match play out.

This require you to put into autoexec.cfg

alias "clutchmute" "clutchmute1"

alias "clutchmute1" "say_team 'clutch mode enabled - you all have been muted'; voice_enable 0; alias clutchmute clutchmute2"

alias "clutchmute2" "say_team 'clutch mode disabled - you all have been unmuted'; voice_enable 1; alias clutchmute clutchmute1"

bind F11 clutchmute

"pick up my AWP asshole! I'm serious, pick up my AWP!"

When people shout at me on the mic I tell them to shut the fuck up so I can hear.

"Clutch or kick"

Sometimes I'll just start being stupid and trigger them.

everyone else dies

now 1v5

go out anyway