Don't know if that's the right kind of protection...

Don't know if that's the right kind of protection...

Look if the stats are good I will wear it.

"At least my dick is safe"

No, his dick fits into the balls part, the "cock" is actually a thermos for chai latte.

Does his dick, actually, go inside it? Either way I'd argue that it actually makes for a more prominent target

concealed carry

Dude has a bong for his dong.

Looks like an Oglaf character brought to life.

I would roleplay this as a stealth assassin who stabs you with his penis. Fus Ro DONG

Don't worry. FF14 has you covered if this is your thing.

Or this.

Or this.

And even this.

Or this.

Or this.

And even this.

Don't laugh. This gives me poison resistance.

"Bong Dong." "Who's there?"

No permit though.

I'm tired of them sexualizing men in games by putting them in uniform.

Everyone knows women prefer a man in uniform

That's in my back pocket ;)

Like so.

Also obligatory.

Also obligatory.

More like:

"Boehold, for I am wearing armor but it is very slutty indeed!"

Would not look out of place in here. NSFW.

Every one of those is missing the prominent feature from the post though. Never thought I'd say this, but, where the hell is the cock sheath?

FFXIV knows equality. That's the best low level armor.

. That's the best low level armor.

If they're going to give us sexy armor then we better get a dong slider that goes from "Bigger than average" to "Horse". It's only fair.

...Yes I know about Conan Exiles

In the criminal justice system, sexually-based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories.

Bong dong

The middle pocket

Check the coinpurse

"Inventory: 2/2 your inventory is full. You are over-encumbered. Fuck yourself"

Classic misdirection.

I like the way he runs after the guy.

I need to look at the back side too. If there's​ a hole then I am good. when I need to shit in battle I just want to go.

That's perfect. Honestly, who would attack this guy??

Flashbacks of ridiculous clown WOW characters everywhere before you could have a good looking set of armor.

Yesssssssss. Forsooth, didst thou think I was born with these dick sucking lips? Nay, I had to suck endless dick!

I mean...what are the stats?

fat tummy likes chai latte !

It's me, Dave. Open up, man, I got the stuff.

a real man

I remember when XIV was re-launched I made a falafel, at level 11 I was loving my cute puffy armor then by level 12 I looked like a bondage fetishist

I remember when XIV was re-launched I made a falafel, at level 11 I was loving my then by level 12 I looked like a bondage fetishist

I gotta look at my inventory

Yeah, I wanna fight the evil lords in my pajama

Plate Male

+5" Length

The best offense is a good 'D'efence


classic miss erection

Dave aint here man.

Nah, that's a barbarian. You can tell by the lack of armor and giant "codpiece"


Actually I think this fits better

If you fight them while wrapped in the bed covers the monsters can't hurt you.

and the spin kick! lmao!

Hey, don't look at me like that. It's a valid combat tactic.

Well, today is the day for it.

Yes, I want to see the back side too. For research, I mean.

That was one thing I thought was neat about final fantasy XIV. The skimpy armor options can be worn by any gender.

Omg i remember when burning crusade came out and i was swapping my nice looking epic armor for better stat gear that was green. Just random shit. My toon looked like a fuck clown.

No, man, I'm Dave, man.

WoW gear never really bothered me, probably because before that my MMO was Final Fantasy XI.

WoW gear never really bothered me, probably because before that my MMO was .


That second picture probably has you on a list now.

I'm pretty sure this guy may be a pirate in his off time.

This is what equality looks like.

Well, I think you've smoked enough for today.

HA HA! you think this is my real cock?

There are a few guys at my work who'd attack that from the back.

He uses it to impale is targets

...He has a flail piercing in his dick. Wow. I can't imagine how terrible that would feel swinging about.

It also allows me to return the poison damage that would have taken from my health with a skill.

It was more like this in Burning Crusade, but I distinctly remember Wrath greens looking very good with no color disparities

Whoa man, but like, if Dave ain't here, how are you here Dave? Dude is this door like a doorway to somewhere else land?

Is yours not?

I just want both outfits for both genders.

I can confirm. This guy's girlfriend does like to talk during sex.

You want cock sheaths? Play "Domina". Cock sheaths are an intergral part of the game.

Well aware but there's no denying what it looks like


At the same time, that stereotype isn't exactly unheard of for men.

At the same time, that stereotype isn't exactly .

Yeah, like the guy that played bagpipes during the invasion of Normandy. When asked later German soldiers said they didn't shoot because they thought he'd gone crazy.

You know what the great fucking thing about Oglaf is? I completely forget it exists for months at a time then someone randomly mentions it and BAM FUCKING OGLAF ORGY TIME!

Our government should be required to wear this outfit when in session.

Final Fantasy XIV has you covered

Final Fantasy XIV has you covered

The 40 man raid armor.

Classic! Ms. Erection.

A suggestive anime style animation set to a theme song from a children's tv show

I mean, I think the entire porn industry pretending 21-year old hot chicks are dying for whatever sad actor they hauled in that day pretty much equalizes that particular element.

They're both just wish fulfillment for the painfully average.

Yea I'll wear just about anything if it has +5 to sneak rolls

How else would you murderfuck?

That was actually kind of cute.

You are entering the vicinity of an area adjacent to a location. The kind of place where there might be a monster, or some kind of weird mirror. These are just examples; it could also be something much better. Prepare to enter: The Scary Door.

Something tells me this is -5 to sneak rolls...

That's just a Jojo's Bizarre Adventure character isn't it?

Ah, the ol' "It's okay, she's actually a thousand years old."

He's more aerodynamic, it's light weight, and protects the dangling appendages. That helmet though better have some defensive/offensive purpose if we're keeping with the super hero theme like girls in comic books.

Why not just let both genders fight naked?

Looks like his dick is in a gas mask

See, I get that this is a joke and all, but isn't this basically what roman gladiators sometimes wore?

The unrealistic part of the games is that the women are armored at all. Or most of the men. Shit armor is expensive, let alone halberds .

jerk him off

But was he going to ?

Nature's pocket


That's... Actually kinda cool. I'd wear it if I weren't a skinny twerp.

Is it equal rights if both men and women are wearing that but we enjoy wearing it? I feel like dong gonging objects with that chrome holster will be frowned upon

They're legitimately not children though. Just tiny people.

My girlfriend likes to talk during sex too, so I hear what you're saying bro.

Subligars in FFXI really did a lot for gender equality too IMO. I actually knew a fellow gay kid who wasn't allowed to play it anymore because his parents saw his elf or human character in what was basically a thong.


Dude imagine if you could smoke out of your penis

Why is his shaft tapered?

Sounds like you have personal experience with this.

Talking with co-workers about their sex lives.. yea I do..

Only with "hide helmet."

As they should. Attacking the rear is the best way to dominate your opponent. When hitting from behind you are in control and they're at the mercy of your power.

I thought it was implicit that was a part of this.