Me: I actually like dad jokes
The Internet: cocks gun
You may get a few infinite loops of 'go ask your mom', but you also get like, a whole lot of baked goods. Every time I visit home, I leave with five pounds of cookies in me, two bookcases, rugs, and lots of food. Seriously, two moms is the coolest.
Source: Have gay mom.
I do too.
cocks other gun
To top it off it's your moms doing dad jokes and your dads saying go ask you mother.
Wait, you have two moms but only one gay mom? Did the other one just get lost and think, eh, this will work?
Wouldn't the gay dad's saying, "Go ask your mother," be a dad joke in itself or would that just be cruel?
Hi 'GettingMyCockGunned' I'm dad
One mom is gay, the other is still in the closet.
BRB, becoming gay father and trying this out.
So everyone is getting their guns cocked?
*Insert witty cocked guns joke
No I'm getting my cock gunned
As new gay dads, my husband and I have working on perfecting our dad jokes!
Why is the gay mom in the closet?
To get you more cookies for the road.
In general, jokes which are of the form "[start of an extremely homophobic statement, which ends with something harmless or funny]" aren't actually all that wholesome. It's the online equivalent of tensing up as if about to punch someone, and then laughing when they flinch.
This one isn't that bad though.
Right, just after he gets his husband pregnant.
Check back in 9 months to 18 years and let us know how it went. For science.
This is sweet. Everyone please remember what sub you're on and don't start a war based on personal beliefs or biases. It's just supposed to make people happy. If you wish to have a discussion about that this is not the sub for you. Enjoy your happiness and move forward having a wonderful day!
The translation of "go ask your mom" is "fine with me but I don't want to get in trouble."
My moms just got married!
I think that's the point, they're so bad they're good
This is dad joke cheating though - you literally have twice the man power.
Congrats on becoming daddies! :) 🏳️🌈
Emojis are strictly forbidden. cocks gun
That actually sounds cute. One gay mom and the other one got lost so ... :) <3
One of my favorite jokes:
Sweater (noun): an article of clothing children wear when their mother is cold.
She could be bi
OR I'm not sure I want you doing that but I can't think of a good reason to back up a no.
My mom is getting married super soon! She's straight and to a man, but I'm still happy for her
Get out of here with your logical thinking!
no it's to get you your coat
it's cold out and she doesn't want you freezing
Also in this metaphor, the person has flinched because they have actually been abused in the past. This bait and switch is not as fun for those who have these sorts of "hateful premises" directed at them for real on a regular basis. I was only recently made to reflect on this aspect of this type of comedy and it was really eye opening.
That's so exciting!! Congrats to them <3
I checked the comments to see if anyone else was thinking the same thing, I'm happy to have found this.
Exactly. Like 'the room'
Or even amphibious!
I mean what are the chances that both moms would be gay? Only like 10 percent of the population is gay. We've got to have realistic expectations here.
Are you feeling alright, friend?
Kind of splitting hairs there, aren't you? Okay, yes, maybe physical abuse is worse. Doesn't mean verbal/textual abuse isn't bad too.
That unnecessary comma :/
You should look into Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator. There are so many dad jokes in it you will be reborn.
Can I start a war based on that horribly unnecessary comma?
Imagine tag teaming dad jokes. If I ever have a kid with a dude.....
We'd be unstoppable.
Edit: minor grammar
However, you get a perfect response to 'your mom' jokes. Either "I don't have one" or "which one?"
My name isn't Also but thanks!
To each other Timmy. See, when a woman and a woman love each other very much....
I think that's a baseball term.
Yeah I agree usually. This does feel like it's an exception, but for the most part I feel uncomfortable when people make jokes in that format. Putting me on edge that I'm either gonna have to bitch someone out or feel incredibly uncomfortable for the rest of the conversation (I'm gay so if I feel like I'm outnumbered I'm either walking away or staying quiet) is not my favorite way to start a joke. I feel like that type of joke is only funny to straight people? idk maybe other gay people feel differently.
This is kind of a cute one though :D
I would argue that emotional abuse is worse. Scars and broken bones heal. Having your heart torn to shreds over and over by people who are supposed to love you and you are supposed to trust destroys you as a human being.
i totally realize your point and how harmful this kind of joke can be, but this whole sub started with this kind of humor if i recall correctly. they were the pillar of it. you'd find memes you're used to seeing as harmful/crippling etc. but people would turn it into something wholesome
I think your dates are off for a lot of gay parents.
With a surrogate yeah, but even that's a longer process.
Probably more like 2/3-14/18 years for most gay parents.
No amount of analogy will ever make insults equivalent to physical violence. Please stop equating the two. Physical violence will always be worse. We do not need to start saying they are equivalent. We have enough trouble with physical violence without watering it down even more.
I think a chicken-shooting gun would be neat.
Also, join us on /sub/dadjokes.
Which one of your moms is gay?
Can I ask: why are emojis so frowned upon? Everyone seems to hate when people use them but I don't know why, they are funny and can sometimes convey tone more accurately. Just a thought 👍
Holy shit, thanks for getting me in the popular page! Have an amazing day 😊
Imagine tag teaming dad
It's a movie that was so bad a lot of people watch it ironically just to make fun of it
Abuse is abuse is abuse. Emotional abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse, neglect and being the witness of domestic violence are all defined as 'abuse' where I live and professionals working with kids (which I indirectly am) are obligated to report.
If you have been physically abused I'm very sorry, everyone deserves a happy childhood. For you, this type of abuse is relatable and therefor the worst kind. It's rarely only one type of abuse as well so I'm sure you got your fair deal of other types too. Please don't make this a pissing context though. Kids who are emotionally neglected, emotionally abused etc have it incredibly tough too and it too can cause severe developmental issues, often leading to years of therapy etc.
Support eachother, it's not a contest.
So, -1/9 years?
twice the man power
Nice one, dad.
My friends dad is a transgender man, and never got uterus or anything removed. Because his(tman) husband(bio man) got him pregnant.
I ended up laughing hard as fuvk because... I'm cruel like that I guess.
isn't it unwholesome to downvote this person?
How's your sex life?
Seconded. It was also made by dads so they have the craft down to a fine art. It was also heavily promoted by a well-known dad (Brian Wrect, PHD, of the band Ninja Sex Party) who's an expert at dad jokes and the art of shitposting
I'm a woman that tells dad jokes.
I told my husband I feel bad for our future kid(s). As they're going to get two people telling dad jokes.
*Walks into room with light bulb in mouth. *
Guess what I'm doing.
I'm having... a light snack! Ha!
Where ya been all these years
Hahaha! Love and am guilty of both of these!
Also grammar/commas apparently is, not.
You're my favorite customer
Worry not. As a lesbian, I can verify that plenty of lesbians are good at dad jokes. As for "go ask your mom" loops... well yea it's a thing. In households with two dads it can easily get into "go ask your dad" loop.
Hi thanks, I'm sorry your name isn't capitalized, but that makes you special and unique!
I honestly think it's sort of a really unhelpful way to analyze the concept of violence to claim that because one sort of violence is more directly egregious, other forms shouldn't be acknowledged as a form of the same greater concept.
You fuckin know it!
...eh, just go get a couple pairs of scissors, it'll be easier to explain.
Well said. 👍👍
Congratulations on becoming fathers! I'm so happy we live in a world where two people in a loving relationship can bring that love to a child that needs it. I wish you and your family the very, very best!
You'd hate french, we use commas everywhere. Makes perfect sense to me to have one there in the title for instance. I always delete a few after I reread something I wrote in english.
Duck yeah dude. Good shit! Congratulations to them too!
Me: guns a cock
OH GOD YOU'RE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE. OH GOD NO
Saw one from another comment on this page. Tell your child to ask their mom
Edit: person who said it is u/Mad_Hatter_Bot
Are you a ducky
They always give me a pit in my stomach :[ I hate seeing homophobic things, and even though it turns out okay it's almost making a joke out of my fear of being discriminated against. I know that's not their intention but it isn't very wholesome to me, personally.
I always forget that Brian has an actual PhD in theoretical physics. It's just so at odds with everything else I know about him. I love it.
Great minds think alike! :)
I thought it was funny
Source: Have gay mom.
So his name is Special and Unique?
Seems like you've got a bit of weight on your shoulders. If you need to vent, pm me
Hey, he's my imaginary man!
That's a terrible comparison.
No, Rubber is a really well made movie based on a really stupid premise. The Room is just so terrible in every aspect that it's fascinating to watch. There has never been a perfect movie. But if there was, The Room would be the opposite of it. The fact that Tommy Wiseau was so serious about it makes it even better, since I don't think it's possible to make a movie as perfectly bad as The Room if you tried.
"There's no such thing as an appropriate joke; that's why it's a joke." -Michael Scott
He's Ross's son
Straight ally humor is making it sound like you’re gonna say something violently homophobic but then not because it’s so Funny and doesn’t make the Gays have a split second of fear from seeing so many real homophobic comments based like this and seeing a straight ally™ do this for likes is not good
I once heard someone say that ‘’’jokes’’’ like that are the equivalent of someone raising a hand as if to hit an abuse survivor, then laughing when you flinch. I think it’s an appropriate comparison.
read these the other day, and now I kind of agree. This kind of 'joke' is not that wholesome.
Someone should call the police about that.