I was AFK for only a moment and came back to this...

I was AFK for only a moment and came back to this...

soullessly stares off into space, as your turret kills innocents

I'll help...




It's so weird without the music...

none of them are innocent

This Pantene model looks like she's about to break up with me

This Pantene model looks like she's about to break up with me

"It's not you, it's me... and my beautifully healthy hair"



Look, you're great and all but I just can't be with someone who is always laughing at my super small hands.

Dog is not impressed

It's like she's rooted to the ground. No instability whatsoever.

Yeah, dogs really can make any surface look comfortable.

Seriously, I'm in awe. She didn't even wobble one bit. That's crazy impressive.

[The comment above likely has (one or more) prank links]:

"Rick Roll"


laser-fading jean machine

i can think of like 12 better uses of a laser

1. Murdering British spies very slowly, but in your absence.

Looks awful though. Could have at least faded the entire jeans

She was a jean machine, she kept her laser clean

She makes the pants look old with a laser beam

Is this what you want, Macron voters??

Is this what you want, Macron voters??

Please tell me this is Photoshopped

It is - Pepe would never do such a thing!



An oldie but goodie

An oldie but goodie

TIL black people have been oppressed by white people since before white people started exploring Sub-Saharan Africa.

Thousands of years ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘Œ

I hope she gets raped

kill them all

put them in a camp

That's how it starts; the fever, the rage that turns good men cruel.

Black people didn't build them either

Allow me to determine whether you really hate yourself

Allow me to determine whether you really hate yourself

Honestly, I lowkey hate that phrase, "How can anyone love you if you don't love yourself first?"

Like, I get what it's trying to say, and if it's been helpful to some people in their journey of self-acceptance and against depression, more power to you.

But your low-self esteem is not going to stop everyone from loving you. You're still worthy of love even if you don't love yourself, and it's kinda strange we have a phrase that basically says unhappy people don't get to have love til they figure their shit out.

Idk, my two cents

My wife has a low self-esteemโ€‹. She'll be devastated to learn that our last 18 years together was a sham.

We accept the love we think we deserve.

๐Ÿ‘ฎ๐Ÿป hello this is the police you are a rapist.

My Poseidon tattoo. Artist: Yomico Moreno Shop: Last Rites in NYC.

My Poseidon tattoo. Artist: Yomico Moreno Shop: Last Rites in NYC.


This is the stuff I love. So beautiful kinda jealous.

I was momentarily horrified as I misread the title as 'Ice Poseidon'

You need to get your arm insured by Sothebys cause that's a masterpiece!

[WR] Super Mario 64 120 star in 1:39:57 by cheese05

[WR] Super Mario 64 120 star in 1:39:57 by cheese05

At the end, Grandma came in.

The chat is full of "139 MASTURBATED" and "WE FUCKING DID IT BOYS" spammed a billion times, among much dirtier Twitch chat nonsense. It's just a wall of that text, coming in at a million a minute.

Grandma asks, in Spanish, "what are they saying??!!"

"Uh, felicidades (congratulations)."


I remember watching Siglemic's stream back in 2012, the record was 1:44:50, and the theory of "how low can this go?" was oft discussed. I remember any claims that something as low as 1:39 were possible would be ridiculed and laughed out of the chatrooms. But some saw it, some knew it was possible. Some people were more able to look at the big picture, the long game, and see through the memes of "12.7" and shitposts yelling "RESET!"

Cheese was one of those people. Cheese has never put arbitrary boundaries on himself and always been willing to work hard for his goals. Perhaps harder than anyone else in speedrunning. Cheese also paints a great story with his runs - you can feel his emotions more than many others. You ride along side him through his ups and downs and really feel like you are on this journey with him. Cheese is one of few speedrunners who really lets you into the human side of things. In a world with so many robots and generic names and other unmemorables, Cheese is a real personality, and a true friend.

Yes, we all know that "lower is possible," and some sum of bests are already in 1:37 territory. Maybe one day 1:35 will happen. Maybe lower. And maybe this record won't even last through spring. But don't use that to take away from what happened tonight. True history. This is going to be the last time, for a very long time, that a 1:X0:00 drops to a 1:Y9:00 time in the game. 1:29 might never happen (I never say never, and yes, I know what the TAS is, so please don't @me with that.) And 1:39 will stand in history, forever, as one of the greatest barriers broken in speedrunning history.

And that greatness, and the man who achieved it, is what we need to remember about tonight.

Congratulations Allan, you deserve every bit of happiness, success and glory for this achievement. I know you have told me how I inspired you at the beginning of your SM64 career (lol,) but tonight, you have inspired a generation in ways few can.

EDIT - Here's the Youtube VOD of just the run: (OP's link is the entire 5 hour stream session)

If you're coming from /sub/all, Cheese05, has held the Super Mario 64 120 Star Speedrun record for a good while. Here's a good video showing the world record progression in this game. And he beat his previous record of 1:40:05 tonight, becoming the first person to complete SM64, while collecting all 120 Stars in under 1h40, or 100 minutes. A couple other guys were very close; a Japanese speedrunner, Batora, tied Cheese's 1:40:05 just two days ago, and another fellow, Puncayshun, whose Personal Best is in the mid 1:40s, and has held the world record at various points as well, has had some close calls too. Oh, and speedrunning is the practice of beating a video game as quickly as possible (see speedrun.com or speedrunslive.com or twitch.tv/communities/Speedrunning for more.)




Sub 100min

At last.


CollegeHumor copied my friend's sketch - Real Life Ripcord

CollegeHumor copied my friend's sketch - Real Life Ripcord

Over a year ago my buddy made a sketch titled "Real Life Ripcord", about a fictional device you can use to rip away from awkward encounters.

We recently discovered that CollegeHumor created a sketch with the exact same premise. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQDl1OrHd-g

UPDATE: Sources have confirmed one of the writers credited on the CollegeHumor video could have viewed the original sketch on their Facebook timeline in 2015.

Didn't know college humor was still going.

They're still going the same way that a crumpled wreck of a car crash is still 'going' as it's mangled chasis grinds across the road under it's dwindling momentum

just aside, your buddy's had better production value.

Try one of these subthreads