hi guys! we’re chloe x halle and today you can ask us (almost) anything!

hi guys! we’re chloe x halle and today you can ask us (almost) anything!next friday (3/23) our debut album, The Kids Are Alright, will be available everywhere! this is so exciting!! you can pre-order the album now and get 5 songs instantly: chloexhalle.com
you may also know us from grown-ish as jazz and sky. :) we’re happy to be here talking to you guys!

follow us:


https://www.youtube.com/chloexhalle
https://twitter.com/chloexhalle
https://www.instagram.com/chloexhalle
https://www.facebook.com/chloexhalle


Proof: https://i.redd.it/3soil4ln98l01.png

EDIT:

halle: bye everyone, thank you so much for tuning in, this has been such a great time. 

chloe: yeah, we love you guys, we love reddit and everybody don't forget you can preorder our debut album The Kids Are Alright right now everywhere. it comes out March 23rd!
hi guys! we’re chloe x halle and today you can ask us (almost) anything!

next friday (3/23) our debut album, The Kids Are Alright, will be available everywhere! this is so exciting!! you can pre-order the album now and get 5 songs instantly: chloexhalle.com you may also know us from grown-ish as jazz and sky. :) we’re happy to be here talking to you guys!

follow us:

https://www.youtube.com/chloexhalle https://twitter.com/chloexhalle https://www.instagram.com/chloexhalle https://www.facebook.com/chloexhalle

Proof:

EDIT:

halle: bye everyone, thank you so much for tuning in, this has been such a great time.

chloe: yeah, we love you guys, we love reddit and everybody don't forget you can preorder our debut album The Kids Are Alright right now everywhere. it comes out March 23rd!

Who is your favourite artist right now? Would you rather collab with Frank Ocean or Lorde? Is Witness the greatest album of 2017? Thanks for answering!!!!!

chloe: how i would describe Beyonce... she is like the best human being ever. she's as special as everyone thinks she is and she just has the sweetest and most down to earth spirit and we've been able and been blessed to meet really cool people who are at the top of their game and i noticed that all of them who are at the top have the most kindest spirits and I love Beyonce. i pinch myself everyday -- just even having her name in a sentence with ours is super cool.

halle: yeah, she's a really beautiful person and the first couple of times we got the chance to be in a room with her of course the little girls within us were screaming and we were like star struck the first two times. then after a while you start to realize, "wow, she's just a beautiful regular person just like us," and she has just a beautiful heart and we just aim to be great like her!

Lourde

I feel like this is how it should be spelled

Lourde in the louvre

Playing around - 1 more in comments

Omg she is so adorable cute thats hurts

Oh well, here we go again sigh unzips

me irl

me irl

Didn’t know you moderated /sub/dankmemes

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Consider that gif saved.

I am a bot, and this action was probably reposted from somewhere else.

u/awkwardtheturtle & u/siouxsie_siouxv2 shots fired

SECURITY BULLETIN ISSUED

SECURITY BULLETIN ISSUED

Robbery - (Keele Campus)

Please be advised that York Security received a report of a robbery incident at the Keele campus on Sunday March 11, 2018.  A community member reported being robbed by a male suspect armed with a handgun while in the basement area of the Lassonde Building. The suspect was seen running from the area northbound. No injuries were reported. Toronto Police Service were called and are actively investigating this occurrence. York Security is assisting Toronto Police in their investigation. The suspect is described as male, very tall, slim build, 180lbs. wearing a mask over his face, black jacket, black pants, and a plaid backpack.

York Security is paying special attention to these areas and is appreciative of any information that may prove useful in the apprehension of the suspect(s) involved. If you have any questions, always feel free to call us at (416) 650-8000 or ext. 58000 or drop by the 24-7 Community Safety Office. We are here to serve our community and thank you for your support and shared commitment to safety.

It took two days for them to tell us we had an armed robbery at the school?

Thanks for telling me what he was wearing that detail will be really useful 2 days later.

Edit: I find it really inappropriate that the school describes the alleged offender as male without asking what they identify as.

Security should just be the student centre birds at this point

male, very tall, slim build, 180lbs. wearing a mask over his face, black jacket, black pants, and a plaid backpack

Only way this could help is if that mask is permanently glued to his face.

Jesus, a gun, and right at Lassonde too.

Checkmate commies

Checkmate commies

Harry Potter and:

The Philosopher's Poverty

The Chamber of Soviets

The Proletariat of Azerbaijan

The Goblet of Feuerbach

The Sino-Soviet Treaty of Friendship, Alliance and Mutual Assistance

The Half-Measure Economic Reform

The Deathly Perestroika

This is my favorite in the series.

Early but can’t think of a clever joke 🙁

Harry successfully unionizes Hogwarts providing the students with much needed benefits including the right not to be horribly maimed or killed by dark forces.

You will survive this

You will survive this

If you're going through this right now, I want you to know that you will get through this.

D-Day for me was four years ago.

At the time, I was in my late 20s and married to a woman I absolutely adored. She was smart and beautiful, with a sharp wit and a sharp temper. Her parents were delightful, always taking in strays and adding them to the family. I was a stray, and they treated me like a son.

Like any couple, we had problems. We'd argue about little things and I felt like I could never really please her. Toward the end, it felt like our love was a bucket full of holes, where if I could just keep shoveling sand into the top, it would never run dry.

She started a grad program, and met a guy in the program who worked near her. He was engaged at the time, and for a few months, we were couple friends with them.

But I could tell something was shifting.

On D-Day, they invited me to join them for lunch at a pizzeria by our house and they were sitting together on one side of the booth, and I sat on the other. The whole time, it looked like they were holding hands or touching one another under the table. It felt weird, like I was the third wheel on their date.

I went home, and did something I had never done before: I checked her phone records on our family plan. They had been texting back and forth every day, all day long, for the past four months straight. The texts would start early in the morning, and stretch to midnight and beyond. They stopped most days at lunchtime, when I assumed they were eating together.

When she got home, I asked to see her phone and found she had been regularly deleting their messages. The most recent one was from a week before, and totally innocuous, like, "Hey, Lukebot and I are at the bar, you guys on the way?"

I confronted her about the texts, and the argument totally flipped. She said I was a jealous person, that they were just friends, and that she was protecting my feelings by deleting the texts, which were totally harmless.

She promised to try and restore the deleted texts when she got into work. The next day she said she had accidentally wiped her phone.

We went into couples counseling, and she asked me to move out. And so started the single worst year of my life.

I moved into a dingy studio apartment downtown, and would just stare at the ceiling for hours, twisted in knots. I went to individual therapy once a week for nearly a year, and would do these deep, primal screams in the car on my commute into work. I didn’t feel like I was making any progress. I’d play hours of Red Dead Redemption, mostly riding through the countryside with no real goal in mind.

She asked me to sign the divorce paperwork a few months shy of our fifth wedding anniversary. At that point, I just felt empty inside.

I really wish I had found this subreddit when I was in the thick of it. I went through this thing alone, and the process was so much harder and longer than it would have probably been if I had found myself a wonderful support network like you’ve built here.

Things slowly got better. I joined a kickball league and was able to simulate being a real person enough to make new friends who didn’t see me as the broken half of a couple, but as my own person.

The turning point came for me, oddly enough, on a kickball cruise a few months after I had signed the divorce paperwork. There's no cell phone service on a cruise, and for the first time since D-Day, I couldn't distract myself when I could feel the darkness closing in.

And so, for the first time, I had to sit with it. It was deeply uncomfortable. The first night, I had a full-blown claustrophobic panic attack. Like, at the next port, I'm getting off the boat and flying home.

Instead, I drafted a letter to my soon-to-be-ex-wife, telling her that I wanted to fix things with her, and that we would work through the texting and suspicious shit, and I'd be a better person. I poured everything into the letter. It really felt like there was literally nothing else I could do.

I paid something insane, like $5/minute, for onboard WiFi to send her the letter, went out and had a great day. It felt like either way, I was going to be OK with what she said.

She sent me back a long email about how we'd never work out, and although I wanted to throw up, I could feel myself rounding the corner. It wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but it was cathartic to know that I had done everything I could.

I focused on improving myself, investing in my new friendships, and really reflecting on how I wanted my next relationship to be different. I met and fell in love with someone who was just as smart and funny as my ex, but kinder and gentler, and a better communicator.

We moved across the country together, bought our dream house, and are planning on having a kid and getting married. I'm in such a better place emotionally than I was four years ago.

As a funny little postscript to this story, my ex had pretty well convinced me that she and this guy were just platonic friends and that I was insane to suspect anything between them. It was something I legitimately believed for years after D-Day.

Late last year, I went home and caught up with a friend who told me that my ex and this guy had been dating since D-Day, and were getting married in a month. It was validation that came too late.

I want to tell you that I was there, with those awful, hopeless feelings, and I wasn't sure if I'd ever see the end of that tunnel. But self-healing is possible, and happiness is ahead of you. So keep going.

I needed this. Thank you.

Good question. I reached out to her last year after I learned about our exes getting married, but she wasn't interested in revisiting the past.

As far as she was concerned, our exes were two trash people who chose one another, and lied to everyone about how they met. She had moved on, and hoped I had too.

Honestly, it's kind of nice that they ended up with one another. I think it would be so much more upsetting knowing they were out there in the wild, wrecking two other people's lives.

Not everyone's ending is so tidy, and by the time I heard about them getting married, I had recovered to the point where I'd really be OK with whatever resolution I got.

Great story. Congratulations.

I'm not really sure when she figured it out, sadly. I had thought about telling her when I discovered the texts, but didn't. I'm not really sure why.

I suspect he strung her along for awhile. My relationship with my ex was messy for that first year. We hooked up a couple times, followed by long periods of no contact. My guess is that it was similarly messy on the other side.

I think if I was going to do it over again, I'd have contacted his fiancee about the texts and really put it out in the open. But who knows, at some point your actions post-D-Day stop being constructive, and just turn unnecessarily vindictive.

Similarly, when I learned about them getting married, I could have called her family and told them she and this new guy had been lying to them for years and were generally shitty people.

It would have probably wrecked her relationship with her parents, but what would the point be? I managed to get through this thing with my integrity intact, which I'm proud of.

Picked up these beauties after staring at them my whole shift. Old Skool California Floral/Marshmallow.

Picked up these beauties after staring at them my whole shift. Old Skool California Floral/Marshmallow.

nice! these are awesome. I have never worn the regular old skools- just picked up some "for the makers" old skools for work though. if they are super comfy I want to get some different color-ways. these are definitely on my list. lovely pattern!

We've brought democracy and order to the pan

We've brought democracy and order to the pan

The year was 2031, and the location a skillet.

We never knew what we were getting into. Some of us just needed direction in our lives; others were drafted after the war began. We were just kids, man. We didn't know any better.

The first thing I felt when I stepped into that skillet was fear. And the heat. Oh God the heat. We were told the enemy could be expected any minute, but there was one problem: we didn't know who the enemy was. All those innocent lives... all gone. We didn't just shoot them dead—we slaughtered them. We shucked the corn, diced the garlic, cut the cheese, and cooked the steak to well-done. Nobody likes to think that monsters can be people, too. Worse, nobody wants to believe that they're the monsters. Accepting this fact was the last thing Pvt. Richards did before adding his own meat to the skillet.

War is friggen heck.

The oil, we learned much too late, was the real enemy. What it had done to us, I did not know. But after you have been through as much as we have, done the terrible things that we did, all you could do was continue to obey orders. I was a murderer; I wasn't about to be a murderer and a traitor.

Oil never came. Had it been replaced by butter or another, healthier alternative? I guess I'll never know. Communication wasn't our number one priority in the skillet—it was to survive the heat, the thirst, and your own sanity.

I can never express how truly sorry I am to have fought on the wrong side of this war. At the very least, following in the steps of Pvt. Richards will count for something.

I hope there's no skillets in Hell.

KNOCK KNOCK IT'S AMERICA BITCH

We are a peaceful people. We care for our own, and do not follow the ways of violence and tyranny. We led happy lives in our secluded community.

Secluded, but not alone.

There had been stories of the existence of another community. The "Giants" as we had grown to call them, who were enormous and animalistic creatures that attacked anything they saw on sight. Who knows where the stories came from, but that wouldn't stop the fear that now clouded the village. Something had to happen. Somebody needed to do something.

But what we got was beyond even our imaginations.

I still remember that chill that surged through me when I saw them. At least 4 of them, all inside some kind of huge steel bowl. When everybody had realized that the Giants were here, there was chaos. Screams everywhere, follpeed by crying. Our attackers paid no notice to our hysteria.

First was Comrade Corn. We found the remainder of his body; shucked and lifeless. Suddenly, there was a noise, and I fell face down on the ground. I faintly recall a particularly harsh shriek from the Garlic family. Standing up, I saw a Giant cut my closest friend, Cheese, into pieces. Brother Steak was dragged into their bowl. He was the strongest of us all, and he did not once scream or cry for help. I admire him; strong until the end.

Realizing I was the only one left, a thousand thoughts flooded my mind. Thoughts and feelings of sadness clouded my vision. Then, I felt a burning hotness down deep inside me. After that, I charged straight at them.

"Goodbye to peace."

Inside their bowl was an intense heat I could've never imagined. I felt myself sink into the floor. As the Giants stared at me puzzled but furious, I lost all my strength as I slowly melted away. In my last moments, I looked into the sky, and saw what I shall never forget:

Father Oil was watching from above. He must've witnessed the whole thing. I smiled, knowing that there was at least one survivor that day to tell the tale of what happened here.

Never again, this shall happen.

Never again.

My allegiance is to democracy!

HE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THE HUMAN HUMOR

HE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THE HUMAN HUMOR

CLEARLY A ROBOT IMPOSTOR WHO DOES NIT UNDERSTAND OUR HUMAN HUMOUR

I really like when people get downvoted and they go "stop downvoting me"

INDEED WE ARE FELLOW HUMAN, IF I WASN'T HUMAN WOULD MY GRANDFATHER BE PERSON OF THE YEAR 1982?

Why are you booing me? I’m right!

Rufous Owl (Ninox rufa) plotting some serious mischief.

Rufous Owl (Ninox rufa) plotting some serious mischief.

Location: Darwin Botanic Gardens, Northern Territory, Australia.

Try one of these subthreads