whowouldwin

An ordinary man vs an exact clone of that same ordinary man, but the clone is wearing a Tapout shirt.

An ordinary man vs an exact clone of that same ordinary man, but the clone is wearing a Tapout shirt.The ordinary man: Steve Smith. Steve is a 31 year old HR worker from Pennsylvania who hates it when you confuse him with the NFL player of the same name. His hobbies include going to the gym once per month in half-hearted attempts to drop from an overweight BMI to a healthy weight BMI and attempting DIY projects before giving up and hiring someone to clean up his shoddy work. He was married briefly in his mid 20's, but she divorced him and his attempts at online dating since then have been lackluster at best. He lives in a suburban area, drives a Honda Civic, wears loose fit jeans and plain monochromatic T-shirts casually, and has little to no fighting experience. He's watched a few MMA highlight clips on YouTube though, and that one encounter in 7th grade when he came in from the side and shoved a kid down was pretty tough.

The clone: The same memories, personality, emotions, and build of Steve... but the clone has a super sick Tapout shirt on.



Scenario 1: Deathmatch. No weapons. Set in a neutral environment without advantage given to either party. Simple yet effective.

Scenario 2: Same rules as scenario 1, but now they have an unlimited supply of pool noodles and Bud Light.
An ordinary man vs an exact clone of that same ordinary man, but the clone is wearing a Tapout shirt.

The ordinary man: Steve Smith. Steve is a 31 year old HR worker from Pennsylvania who hates it when you confuse him with the NFL player of the same name. His hobbies include going to the gym once per month in half-hearted attempts to drop from an overweight BMI to a healthy weight BMI and attempting DIY projects before giving up and hiring someone to clean up his shoddy work. He was married briefly in his mid 20's, but she divorced him and his attempts at online dating since then have been lackluster at best. He lives in a suburban area, drives a Honda Civic, wears loose fit jeans and plain monochromatic T-shirts casually, and has little to no fighting experience. He's watched a few MMA highlight clips on YouTube though, and that one encounter in 7th grade when he came in from the side and shoved a kid down was pretty tough.

The clone: The same memories, personality, emotions, and build of Steve... but the clone has a on.

Scenario 1: Deathmatch. No weapons. Set in a neutral environment without advantage given to either party. Simple yet effective.

Scenario 2: Same rules as scenario 1, but now they have an unlimited supply of pool noodles and Bud Light.

I don't know, man, the clone might have a slight disadvantage due to all those sweet honeys drawn to the pure animal magnetism of the shirt

Dumbledore is given the complete Harry Potter series on Harry's first day at Hogwarts. What is he able to achieve with his newly gained knowledge?

Dumbledore is given the complete Harry Potter series on Harry's first day at Hogwarts. What is he able to achieve with his newly gained knowledge?

His main goals (in a best case scenario):

Voldemort is killed

Harry survives

Sirius's name is cleared and Pettigrew is charged/imprisoned

Barty Crouch Jr. is recaptured

Quirrell, Lockhart and Umbridge get whatever comeuppance is appropriate for them

No casualties (i.e. Cedric lives, Sirius lives, Dumbledore himself lives)

The way it works:

The story will progress as it originally does for as long as Dumbledore refrains from directly altering it. For instance, he could try to apprehend Voldemort/Quirrell on the first night if he wanted to, but this would massively change how the story would pan out. Alternatively (for example), he could go straight to the Room of Requirement and retrieve the Diadem horcrux (and destroy it), with this change not having a real effect for years to come.

For me, the major problem surrounds the part of Voldemort's soul that's in Harry. For Harry to survive the destruction of this, his blood would still need to be used in Voldemort's regeneration, which would likely mean a dead Cedric.

Can Dumbledore overcome this? What's the best outcome he could achieve for the wizarding world?

Simple. Ask Ron Weasley to please come to his office with his rat, as he has reason to believe it has magical properties. Cast the spell to force an Animagus to return to normal on the rat, revealing Peter Pettigrew. Have him sent to Azkaban. Without Pettigrew, it's highly unlikely Voldemort would ever return, or at the very least, it would be delayed incredibly - possible even until after Harry's natural death. He could then systematically wipe out the Horcruxes while Voldemort was still in spirit form, leaving just Harry remaining. Their defences are worthless against someone who knows what they are; the only one which still poses a threat is the locket, which he wouldn't need to go after anyway, since at the time Dumbledore gains his knowledge, it's locked up in Grimmauld place.

By the time Voldemort returns, if ever, Dumbledore could simply sit an adult Harry down (after grooming him to be a reasonable human being), and explain the situation.

Alternatively, if Dumbledore is willing to break all of his morals, there's another tactic which could spare Harry's life; Dementors. By coercing Dementors the same way the Ministry does, Dumbledore could potentially get them 'on side'. When he does this, he could then reveal Pettigrew, as stated before, but instead place him under the Imperius curse, and arrange for Voldemort's resurrection; while preparing a trap for Voldemort at the resurrection site. At the moment Voldemort comes back, Dumbledore enters, duels and defeats him, and gives him to the Dementors to be kissed. After that, the Horcruxes can be destroyed as normal, in case the soul fragments inside them pose any threat.

Batman in the bat-cave. Stark in his tower. Peter Parker in his room. Thor in Asgard. Who can grow the *dankest* weed?

Batman in the bat-cave. Stark in his tower. Peter Parker in his room. Thor in Asgard. Who can grow the *dankest* weed?

These guys could all get something chronic, but I'm talking dank.

They each get one year

They get any equipment they can afford/acquire/conjure.

Batman gets to grow it in the Bat-Cave.

Thor gets a fertile field in Asgard

Stark gets a greenhouse room in Stark Tower.

Peter Parker has to hide it in his room or in the attic.

R1: Indica, most dank sample wins

R2: Same as R1 but Sativa

R3: Instead of quality, let's talk quantity, using either/any type. To make it fair, they each MAGICALLY get an infinitely large field.

Bonus: Poison Ivy vs Swamp Thing.

Edit: Clarification, they have to grow the weed themselves, they can't hire someone else. Friend(s) can help test it with them though.

You want Batman, Peter Parker, and Tony Stark to compete with weed grown in a place that is analogous to heaven? That would be literally the weed of the gods, fortified by magicks and watered by Thor, God of Thunder.

Ant man VS the Flash in a game of hide-and-seek.

Ant man VS the Flash in a game of hide-and-seek.

Antman could be hiding anywhere on earth. He can shrink down to 1 inch but isn't allowed to go subatomic. Flash and Antman spawn at random locations. Flash has 24 hours.

First off, this is a brilliant WWW.

Having no actual evidence to back this up, i'd say Ant-man wins. Even if the flash could cover the entire Earth in 24 hours, he'd have to look under every sofa, in every cabinet, ant-man could've dug himself a hole in a garden, etc. I'd say Ant-man 9/10, Flash would have to get lucky.

A Magikarp gains Speedforce. Who's the weakest that can beat "The Splash"?

A Magikarp gains Speedforce. Who's the weakest that can beat "The Splash"?

Don't lie to us, this entire thread was just so you could show off the pun you came up with!

It's 2008. You are now 8 years old. Can you convince your parents to invest $100 in Bitcoin before 2011?

It's 2008. You are now 8 years old. Can you convince your parents to invest $100 in Bitcoin before 2011?

Assume you were born in 2000, and you traveled back in time and are no inhabiting your 8 year old body. You decide to change the future for your own benefit by having your parents become filthy rich.

You cannot reveal you are from the future, or invest in it yourself.

"I want these stupid coins for this stupid game on the internet so I can play with my friends and leave you and mom alone all weekend."

Buy the coins, put them in a wallet for mom and dad, proceed to play runescape.

Repeat every couple weeks for as long as it takes you to collect what you need.

Mew is spotted on the roof of the White House in Pokemon Go, nerds everywhere hear and go insane for it. How many die before the White House is successfully sieged?

Mew is spotted on the roof of the White House in Pokemon Go, nerds everywhere hear and go insane for it. How many die before the White House is successfully sieged?

Round 1a: all Pokemon trainers in Washington DC Round 1b: same as round 1 but they have real living Pokemon.

Round 2a/b: all the trainers in the country

Round 3a/b: all the trainers in the world, US government gets 1 day prep.

No one makes it in time as Malia Obama successful snatches the legendary the minutes after it reveals itself.

The yellow Hulk. Instead of getting stronger when angry, he gets more slippery. Who can defeat Bruce Bannaner?

The yellow Hulk. Instead of getting stronger when angry, he gets more slippery. Who can defeat Bruce Bannaner?

Exposed to radioactive bananas during a routine shopping trip, Bruce Bannaner is surely one of the most powerful characters.

Resembles the Hulk, only is bright yellow instead of green.

When he gets angry, he gets more slippery. In fact, he has the potential to become the slipperiest force in the Marvel universe.

He is exactly as indestructible as the Hulk, as agile, but not as strong

Though slippery, he never loses control of himself.

R1: Strongest he can defeat?

R2: Strongest he can cause to slip up?

Slipperiest force in the universe?

Welp, you all know exactly what time it is: time for the Yellow Hulk to beat the Flash

Yellow Hulk causes Flash to skid out of control and never be able to land a hit, wins by fatigue. Flash is definitely the strongest person Yellow Hulk could beat going by feats, by beating Flash's feets.

Slipperiest force in the universe?

Welp, you all know exactly what time it is:

Yellow Hulk causes Flash to skid out of control and never be able to land a hit, wins by fatigue. Flash is definitely the strongest person Yellow Hulk could beat going by feats, by beating Flash's feets.

Could Superman forcefully shit a hole through a 15 inch steel door?

Could Superman forcefully shit a hole through a 15 inch steel door?

Round. 1: Normal log shits

Round. 2: Taco night special, diarrhea shitting superman

Bonus round: most durable thing superman could shit a hole through?

I also apologize for the shit-post

Ass vs tits

Ass vs tits

To clarify it is a donkey vs 100 tits (small birds)

If Ass stomps than replace tits with boobies. Another larger species of bird

EDIT: Holy crap almost 1000 upvotes. Thanks guys!

EDIT2: WE HIT IT BOIS! My most upvoted post!

Try one of these subthreads