tifu

TIFU by feeding my animal blue buffalo. Please do not make the same mistake!!!

TIFU by feeding my animal blue buffalo. Please do not make the same mistake!!!

I looked up the company after I read your TIFU and found this:

Class Action Lawsuit Says Blue Buffalo Dog Food Contaminated with Lead

http://www.dogingtonpost.com/class-action-lawsuit-blue-buffalo-lead/

I don't know where you live, but it looks like this thing is just getting going. You might want to look into contacting the attorneys involved in the suit, or find your own attorney.

EDIT: Looks like they also settled another lawsuit previously:

https://stories.barkpost.com/blue-buffalo-ingredients/

Blue Buffalo has settled a class action lawsuit for 32 million dollars. The lawsuit claimed that the company was guilty of false advertising because they claimed that their foods did not include by-products. As part of the settlement, the company will pay individual customers a monetary amount based on the number of Blue Buffalo products they have purchased.

This company's a mess.

Hope this gets ranked higher

Your poor kitty! Not your fault, blue is supposedly the best and clearly a lot of people run into this issue. I hope your little guy gets better and everything works out with him.

Dang.

Everytime im at the store to get my dogs Pedigree i stop and admire Blue Buffalo and think

One day boy, one day...

Not anymore

TIFU by getting a DNA test and revealing a family secret

TIFU by getting a DNA test and revealing a family secret

I've always been interested in doing one of those at-home kits that tell you your ethnicity estimates. My mother has, for many years, claimed that her own great-grandmother was completely Native American, and I recently learned that this is apparently something common for Southerners to claim, but that it is rarely true. I finally went ahead and bought one of the kits because there is nothing I enjoy more in life than proving my mother wrong.

Fast forward a few weeks. I get my results. I am 0% Native America, which isn't exactly shocking. The real surprise comes from the fact that I am also 0% Eastern European.

This probably wouldn't mean much for most people, but I happen to be Polish. Or at least, I thought I was. I have an unpronounceable, very Polish last name. My great-grandparents were Polish-speaking immigrants. My paternal grandfather himself spoke Polish as a child.

My first thought was that the test was a mistake. My results came over a week before the projected arrival date, and I KNEW I should be somewhere around 25% Polish/Eastern European. So maybe there had been an error somewhere at the lab. I started digging around through my DNA relative matches. I had matched with an extended cousin with my mom's maiden name, living in the state that she grew up in. So the DNA analyzed was definitely mine, and this was not a switched-tube situation.

There were only two possible explanations: either my own dad was not my biological father, or my Polish grandfather was not the biological father of my dad.

I look a lot like my father, so it seemed unlikely that we were not related. However, there was no strong family resemblance between my dad and his own father. In fact, my grandfather and many of his siblings had a (we'll call it) striking nose that my sister and I had often rejoiced in not inheriting. Also, my paternal grandparents had a disastrous marriage and bitter divorce—an affair did not seem out of the question.

My paternal grandfather died over ten years ago, but my paternal grandmother is still living and I gave her a call. It took a while for me to fully explain the DNA testing to her—she's 87, but we got there. She denied it and tried to explain the unexpected results with a long ramble about migrating European tribes before I was finally able to make her understand that I would be able to test relatives from the Polish side of the family and determine whether or not I was actually related to them. She told me that she didn't think that was a good idea, and I should think about it before contacting anyone.

I think I knew right then, but it was not until today, two days later, that she finally admitted it to my sister: my father had been lied to his entire life about his biological father.

So who is my actual paternal grandfather? TBD. My grandmother promised my sister that she will tell the two of everything when my sister gets into town for Christmas. She requested that we not tell anyone until then (it's too late, my sister already told everyone).

TL;DR: Did an ethnicity test, found out my father was apparently the product of an extra-marital affair and never knew.

I think a lot of people would be astonished to see their true genetic family tree overlaid on their historical one. I found out I was a doorstep baby and the lies running through the generations before ours are mind boggling.

Oh god

I feel like i should say something

To make it public and as a result he discovered that he's his own grandpa

I’m a high school science teacher, and about 15 years ago I spent a year teaching science in Bogotá, Colombia at a private school. Rich kids, raised in Spanish and English. Great kids, in fact.

I was teaching genetics with one group and we were looking at blood types. Unlike North America, identification in Colombia includes blood type (seriously, this is a great idea for emergency situations, no idea why it isn’t here) so it’s common for people to know the blood types of their entire family. We did blood tests in class and the students were able to see that it matched up with their ID info. We then used this info with their family’s blood types to look at pedigrees.

One of the girls in the class came up to me after class with a concern. I don’t remember the exact blood types, but her parents blood types didn’t fit. Basically, there was no way her dad was her dad. I fumbled through some bullshit possibility of a mutation, but I learned my lesson - never again will I have students do blood type pedigrees with their families.

Edit: Getting a lot more responses than I expected, so I’ll address some of the common ones.

I don’t know about other areas of Canada or the US, but we’re not allowed to use blood in Ontario schools anymore so doing blood tests isn’t an option even if I wanted to.

Blood type is most definitely not random. In fact, it’s a commonly used example of what is called codominance. I’m not going to go into it in detail, but it’s fairly easily determined from your parents using a Punnett square (4 box thingy you might remember from high school).

Long story short, it’s not possible to have a major blood type (or part of a blood type) from a parent if one or the other didn’t have it or carry it. However, it’s possible to not get the blood type of a parent.

Eg. if one of your parents is blood type A, you can be A. If they’re B you can be B. If one is A and the other is B you can be A or B or AB (both together). O blood type is the result of a recessive allele and is possible even if neither of your parents are O (they can be carriers). But if both are O, the only possibility for you is O.

As for Rh, it’s possible to be Rh- if both your parents are Rh+, but not vice versa.

And for those of you spouting off about science over feelings, she has a right to know, etc - have some compassion, Jesus Christ. This isn’t something anyone should learn accidentally in a high school bio class. This is a family issue that should be discussed with family when they deem it appropriate.

TIFU by eating my co-workers skin

TIFU by eating my co-workers skin

So this was actually last friday but its taken a few days to come to terms with. I work in retail and throughout the day my co-workers and i try and entertain ourselves to pass time during slow periods. Most of the t-shirts we sell have a little sticker on them that usually falls off and ends up on the floor, which we then usually scrunch up and throw at each other/into the bin. To pass the time i was letting 'Alex' try and throw them into my mouth ala those turning clown heads you'll see at a carnival.

Now, i live in sydney and its already reaching some pretty high temps as we head into summer and Alex had decided to go to the beach with his girlfriend the day before. Alex, being quite a hairy man had decided to use this hair removal cream before heading to the beach (i still dont know why). The instructions said DO NOT use this and then sun bathe and DO NOT leave on for more than 7 minutes. Alex decided to ignore both instructions and showed up at work on friday with chemical burns on his body. His skin was swollen to the point you could push it and nothing would budge, like his whole back was a giant blister waiting to pop.

Anyway, so here we are bored as shit on friday afternoon and i see Alex bend down and pick something up. Naturally, i assume its another sticker that had made its way onto our floor from a t-shirt, so i open my mouth and let Alex have a shot. He gave me this quizzical look of 'are you sure?' shrugged and proceeded to throw. It was a magical throw, landing straight smack bang on the middle of my tongue and i swallow it (i was laughing at how good a shot it was, i didnt intentionally swallow it). He starts pissing himself laughing and tells me that wasnt a sticker, but he had peeled off a big part of his burnt skin from his back, scrunched it into a ball and thrown it into my mouth.

TLDR; Co-worker got burnt, threw burnt skin he had peeled off into my mouth, i swallowed it. They call me the cannibal now.

You win. This is the worst thing I've read all week.

This is exactly what he said to me afterwards! “Ive been inside you now”

How did it feel having someone else inside you?

So...the first fuck up is throwing ANYTHING that has been on a public floor into each other's mouths. I understand you didn't expect to eat skin, but what can be the best case scenario here?

TIFU by not being able to find the scissors the night before one of my best friends wedding at the grooms house and causing permanent nerve damage in my finger.

TIFU by not being able to find the scissors the night before one of my best friends wedding at the grooms house and causing permanent nerve damage in my finger.

As some of these posts go this did not happen today, rather it happened early this year in February the night before one of my best friends wedding I was a groomsman in.

Let me set the scene to give a little context. I am a groomsman in an out of state (Florida) wedding for one of my best friends. I wasn’t able to make the bachelor party a couple weeks prior to the wedding so the night before the wedding most of the groomsmen besides the groom and I decide to go out to hit some of the finest bars in Tampa. I hate Florida with a passion but let’s not get into that right now.

Now at the time of this I was underage. The only good thing about Florida is that most of the bars and clubs will let underage people go inside BUT they will charge an honest to god outrageous cover charge and slap a big ole “Under 21” paper wristband on you. Keep in mind that I’m not much of a dancer and I hate the dancing type places Florida has to offer but my friends wanted hit dancing places so here we are. Again I’m underage at the time so I pay the awful $30 cover charge. They also ran out of regular paper wrist bands so they slap on this overly tight zip tie on my right wrist. It honestly sucks. The night sucks so much. I’m a pretty awkward individual when it comes to girls and can’t even articulate the proper sentences in person to wow someone so you can imagine my dancing skills are definitely not going to get me anywhere with these Florida girls. Not only am I awkward I have a little OCD and this zip tie on my wrist is so tight I’m very slowly freaking out on the inside shaking my wrist every now and then and pulling at it to try and get comfortable.

We leave the place and this puts us at about 2am. We make a stop at McDonald’s and by this point I’m being verbal about my discomfort for the zip tie. My friends are pretty drunk so they could careless and are too busy talking about the night. We order food. I ask the cashier if I could use a pair of scissors to cut off the zip tie. The cashier says they don’t have a pair. I ask her if they have anything that can do the trick and she honestly doesn’t care enough to help me out. My friends at this point are being a little obnoxious so I can tell she doesn’t want to help me by association. Ok by this point I am yanking and pulling at this zip tie trying to loosen it. It’s so bad people at other tables aren’t staring at my crazy friends yelling at each other. They’re staring at the crazy person (me) freakishly talking to himself pulling at this zip tie making a little bit of a scene.

We get back to the grooms house (where we’re staying) at around 3:30am and everyone immediately pass out on the couch or floor. I’m so tired and just fed up with everything so I just try falling asleep and I’ll worry about the zip tie in the morning. This is when things start getting out of hand. I cannot for the life of me fall asleep. My heart is racing and I feel like if I don’t get this zip tie off I’m going to have an anxiety attack. I start pillaging the kitchen trying to find a pair of scissors. I’m quickly having a mental breakdown because I can’t find a pair of scissors in this house. This goes on for about 30 minutes putting us at 4am. I’ve just about had enough of this situation and this is where the FU happens. I can’t find the scissors and in my sleep deprived state I grab the closest thing to me to relieve me of my stress. A steak knife. Now I’m a pretty clumsy person so I knew I had to be careful if I was going to go about this. It’d be just my luck to cut myself free and but slit my wrist in the process and bleed out. But hey at least I’d be free of the zip tie. I’m right handed btw so everything that happens is with my off hand. I turn my right wrist with my palm facing up. I take the knife with my left hand very carefully. I jimmy it under the zip tie and I slowly begin to make my cut. I’m shaking and my body is freaking out. I can’t cut this thing off with my left hand. I’m so done with this situation so in one rage filled sweep I successfully cut of the zip tie. Everything is great I’m so stoked. But then I start feeling my index finger throbbing and so warm. I went too hard. I lost control of the knife and cut the inside of my index finger. There’s blood everywhere. I’m screaming. The pain is insane. My friends are all passed out and can’t hear my cries for help. Is this how it ends? The day before the wedding and I’m dead on the floor, blood everywhere with the cut zip tie next to me?

One friend (let’s call him Taylor) comes to my rescue and I can tell he’s not happy. Taylor wraps my finger in paper towels and tightens it with electrical tape “we’ll worry about this in the morning” he said. We wake up to the sound of groom asking about the blood stains on his new white cabinets and why I didn’t use the scissors that were located in the dish washer. THE DISH WASHER. WHY ARE THEY IN THE DISH WAHSER!?! I spend the morning trying to find an urgent care that’s open on a Saturday that also takes my insurance so I can get this stitched up in time for the wedding. There’s no luck. Everything is going to cost too much and frankly there’s no time to handle this before the wedding starts. The groom takes matters into his own hands and butterfly stitches my finger. The pain of pouring peroxide in my open wound is nothing I would ever want for anyone. We patch my finger and I have this disgusting wrapped bleeding finger in all the wedding photos to never forget this day. By the time I got home a couple days later it healed too much for the doctors to stitch and get the feeling back in my finger because the nerve damage is pretty severe. I’m left with this mistake for the rest of my life and every time I look at my finger I’m left with the thought of why didn’t I check the dish washer.

Edit 1: this is not going to help my cause at all but I’m noticing some people thinking I was drunk and I’d like to clarify I was sober when this happened. Do your thing reddit.

Tl;dr: Day before my best friends wedding I cut my finger with a steak knife trying to get a zip tie off. Groom on his wedding day cleans me up. Left with permanent nerve damage in my index finger. Always check the dish washer.

Here’s a link to my finger for how it looks 10 months later. I’ll try and find a day of cut photo in the mean time if anyone wants to see. It may not look that messed up but there’s a huge chunk of my finger not there.

Ouch, when you realise you actually screwed yourself over for life. What's different now when using your finger though?

In the photo you’ll see a bump towards the bottom of it. That part is super sensitive so basically I’m always cautious whenever I’m doing anything. My main hobby is guitar so it’s kind of a nightmare

Jesus Christmas... There is so much wrong with this story, I want to slap you. I've cut zip ties using a variety of different things. From finger nail clippers, to dull folding Swiss army knives that they give boy scouts. If you know general safety of handling sharp objects... You would have come out okay. The fact that you put the softest part of your wrist face up... Just shows how little you were thinking. You were stressing out so much about the zip tie, and hurting yourself, yet you did everything you could to make it as dangerous as possible. This is truly a fuck up. Take my up vote, you poor bastard...

Honestly who uses zip ties for club wristbands? That's just a nightmare waiting to happen. It's fine to put the shitty paper bands tight to make sure people don't take them off-they have some give to them. Also it really sucks nobody really seemed to want to help you.

TIFU by referring to a meme at work

TIFU by referring to a meme at work

Dick Butkis.

What a name.

Lmao

Hilarious!

TIFU by breaking a $10,000 machine at work

TIFU by breaking a $10,000 machine at work

So this happened just a few hours ago. I work as a diesel mechanic, and we had about 30 minutes left before it was time to leave for the night. Those 30 minutes are supposed to be spent cleaning up, sweeping and moping the truck bay. Well instead, my boss wanted us to hurry up and do an alignment on the truck before we left. So we got all the sensors and what not, put onto the wheels and we were about to get started. Now, my boss, asked if I could stay late and help him finish up said alignment and I told him I would help out just as long as I could leave a little early tomorrow. So continuing the alignment process, he had me switch the wheel chalk positions from the rear drive tires to the front drive tires. Here is where the fk up happens... I removed the front wheel chalk and put it in the front of the front drive tire, and the rear chalk was barely underneath that rear drive tire so i yanked it out real quick and then the truck started moving backwards, and backwards really fast. So my first reaction was to try and stop the truck from rolling back any more by jumping back behind it to hold it. And for those of you that don't know, semis weigh any where from 20,000 to 30,000 pounds. I didn't know that the brakes were not set. (Meaning the brakes weren't in park) so there I am trying to hold a 27,000 lb truck from rolling any farther. I am a large guy but there is no stopping a huge truck from rolling. During all this, all the alignment sensors and sensor holders are smashing and busting into hundreds of peices. I have everyone in the shop running over yelling at me to get out of the way and to let it roll. My boss had managed to run over and jump in the truck and set the brakes real quick before it crashed through the door. All in all, I broke all the sensors to the only alignment equipment we have and we use it every day. We have over 5,000 trucks in the fleet. The sensors and the holding racks cost nearly $10,000. That's not including the program to be updated when we get the new alignment equipment. May or may not lose my job tomorrow. I'm really hoping for the best...

TL;DR: started an alignment on a semi, didn't know brakes were released, removed rear drive wheel chalk, semi started moving backwards really fast, tried to stop 27,000 lb semi with my hands, broke $10,000 worth of alignment equipment, may lose my job.

Sending you the best of hope for a huge slap on the wrist and not a pink slip.

Just because you were closest to it does not mean it is your fault.

Was it your job to set the brakes or part of your job to check that they have been set? If not, then you were the unlucky victim of someone else's FU. If you were...yeah, you fucked up.

Hoping you don't lost your job over an accident though! Point out that it will cost a lot more than 10k to train the person to replace you if you need to.

Well in all reality, it was 3 of us that had fault in the situation. A few hours prior, coworker had brakes released because he was doing a brake chamber. Didn't set brakes after he was done with the job. Second, my boss could have let me keep the wheel chalks in the place they were in and still been able to do the alignment. Lastly, I was the one who pulled the wheel chalk out without checking to see if brakes were set or not. Then again that was my first time setting up the alignment sensors and getting the truck ready for an alignment by myself. So I honestly didn't know the checklist to go through before everything happens. Now keep in mind I have only been at this company and this type of work for a month. Hired in with little to no experience.

Thank you, I will!

TIFU By lying to my parents about being stood up

TIFU By lying to my parents about being stood up

So this happened yesterday ( I’m being technical, it’s 1 A.M. ) To start things off I landed a date with a girl way out of my league. We agree to a movie and to meet an hour earlier so we can talk before.

Now I don’t have a car just yet so I was requiring some assistance from my parents to drop me off and pick me up.

I confirm with her before I head out to make sure things are good then I get going. The date is at 5:00 5:05: nothing 5:10: I text her “hey, I’m here” She replies “Omg, I got grounded, I’m so sorry”

I tell her it’s fine ( kinda depressed about it but eh It wasn’t the biggest of deals ) and ask if one of my guy friends wants to come see the movie with me.

See the movie, enjoy myself and my friend leaves. I text my dad to come. So both my parents show up and I get into the car. I was embarrassed about being stood up so I just said the date went fine but I didn’t like her. ( My parents had apparently seen my friend leave, so they got suspicious)

I continue with the lie as they ask questions and it’s kinda tense in the car. We get home and I head to my room, 5 minutes later I walk out to tell them the truth.

Apparently my mom was just about to come talk to me. I say that I got stood up, then I get a lecture about lying ( the whole rundown ). Then my mom gets really upset and Is asking if I’m gay, which I reply “no” ( I’m not gay ). She doesn’t drop it, asking to see my texts between me and my friend ( which I show her) and everything is checking out.

Yet my mom went to bed angry and I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m gay, thankfully my dad is a lot more relaxed and level headed. So now I lay in bed on embarrassment and thinking why didn’t I just say I got stood up.

TL;DR: Got stood up so asked a guy friend to see movie with me, lied about being stood up to parents, Mom thinks I’m gay

Edit: Btw, she wasn’t grounded. Saw on her snap story she was off with another guy :/

I think the problem here is your mom. I mean yes, you technically lied in an uncomfortable situation, but anyone would be a little embarrassed even though it wasn’t your fault. Your mom’s reaction really isn’t appropriate or logical; there’s no real reason for her to be angry with you.

WTF is wrong with your mom?

Your mom’s reaction really isn’t appropriate or logical; there’s no real reason for her to be angry with you.

well, its not appropriate to a normal sane human being, but to someone who is homophobic, it makes perfect sense.

but I feel like there’s something deeper.

usually comes from religious beliefs, she won't admit it because it would make her look crazy.

I think she already did that for herself, any person that says "got the gay gene" clearly has no comprehension of what being homosexual actually is. Also, being gay doesn't mean she can't have grandchildren, tons of gay couples choose in vitro fertilization and a female host

TIFU by almost allowing net neutrality to dissapear.

TIFU by almost allowing net neutrality to dissapear.

AND WHAT CAN I DO IF I DON'T LIVE (or ever lived) IN USA? seriously, I want to help. If we allow this to happen, we are next

So if you haven't already, there's a bot you can text, that helps you write an email or a fax, free of charge, to your senator, or governor. Text "resist" to "504-09" and it'll ask you some questions, then you're onto writing. From another thread a few weeks ago, someone posted this message, and it think it's a great one to send.

"Net Neutrality is the cornerstone of innovation, free speech and democracy on the Internet.

Control over the Internet should remain in the hands of the people who use it every day. The ability to share information without impediment is critical to the progression of technology, science, small business, and culture.

Please stand with the public by protecting Net Neutrality once and for all."

I'd love to credit the user, but have lost the comment, but please, go send some faxes, show your politicians you want net neutrality to stay.

Upvote this and let others be aware

:( I wish I could. We have an association in France called The "Quadrature du net" which job is to spread awareness of the beauty of net neutrality.

TIFU by trying to use an Epipen.

TIFU by trying to use an Epipen.

Broke a $700 phone with a $700 Epipen. Bad day.

At least you tried. I have had to stab myself with epi pen every single time because anyone who is with me just panics. Like seriously, the instructions are ILLUSTRATED!! But alright, hand it to me as my world is fading from lack of oxygen. I've got it.

It sounds like your friend is an idiot for not telling anyone of his allergies, being mindful of his allergies, or carrying an EpiPen himself. You tried to do the right thing and ran into an obstruction; it's supposed to be injected into the outer thigh.

Good on you, and your friend is lucky to be alive. I've got friends with severe allergies who always carry an EpiPen and at least ask about possible food allergens, if applicable. I bet the hostess of the party feels awful too, but this all really comes down to your friend being fucking reckless and/or stupid.

Woah there I thought we fixed that monopoly

TIFU while attempting to pull a prank on my friend

TIFU while attempting to pull a prank on my friend

Try one of these subthreads