tifu

TIFU by being a douchebag to an asshole.

TIFU by being a douchebag to an asshole.
TIFU by being a douchebag to an asshole.

So this actually just happened a couple hours ago. Had a buddy go with me to pick up a junk track car that has a very well built engine. I buy the car and as we are driving down the road my buddy's truck blows 2 tires, fuck us right? So with no other option we grab the track car. (Before you jump down by throat, yes it is a legal to car to drive on the street, it is still registered and insured. Legal just not practical; race suspension, race tires, etc). Look up the local tire shop and head down the road. This is where the fuck up starts. My buddy sees a big red flip switch, and decides to flip it. The car takes off like a rocket with machine gun fire shooting out the exhaust. Turns out this thing has an anti-lag system ( for those reading this clueless, this if anti lag ) We start laughing and acting like fools on this back road, just tearing up the streets. Once we get into town, we are on our best behavior. Until this blacked out Tahoe starts tailgating me hard, I move so he can pass but he just sticks to me like a stage 5 clinger. It's not just following close, it's getting dangerous. He is easily a foot or two from me the whole time. I decide, fuck em. I'll teach you not to tail gate. At the next stop light I flip the switch, and start reving the shit out of the car. Unknowingly, this not only produces a machine gun like sound but it make such an intense fire ball the Tahoe's bumper begins to melt and catch fire. Thinking I showed this guy, I fail to see a very large man pull me out of my driver's window at gun point. When I finally realize wats going on, another man is cuffing me as my buddy is face down in the street with hands behind his head. Turns out, the Tahoe was an undercover cop car, they thought they could bait me into speeding off, (which is illegal in my city). As more cops roll up, we are separated and taken in. After a long wait and a bunch of questions, I have to pay to get my car out of impound and will have to wait to see if I have to pay to fix the SUV. TL;DR drove a street legal race car and used it's anti-lag to melt the front end of a narc car, got arrested.

Edit/Update*: So thanks for all love and comments everyone. I was contacted the police chief. No charges will be pressed against me, I am being refunded the impound fees. The officer has been suspended pending investigation of his action. There was a dash cam with sound, it recorded him explaining to his rookie partner how he normally does this to cars to help his citation quota. I will also be receiving a formal apology from the Commissioner within the week. I'm really thankful the police chief was quick to admit it was his men's fault. I think it helps that our car community has such strong bonds with the police and i doubt she didn't want ruin what has been built.

For those wanting pics of the cars will have to wait, i crushed the screen of my phone while leaning over the fender of the car trying to pull the motor. the junk car is a drift built 240sx with a 2JZGTE turbo out of a Supra. Its going into a a 2013 FRS chassis.

Except you can prove the cop was tailgating which is a fireable civilian-danger risk. Cop cars keep a record of when the sirens etc are activated, and this wasn't the case for you.

Basically he was risking a severe accident deliberately travelling so close to another vehicle "on a hunch", which can get you fired, especially if you make enough of a complaint that someone else higher up's job/promotion is at risk, and they'll throw this guy under the bus.

He was close enough to touch the flame which is only 1-2 feet back from the car, then the heat level dissipates enough to be safe.

I'd threaten to raise HELL with that police force's internal investigations if they don't drop all charges immediately.

That's my plan, I know I was in the wrong for using the anti lag but someone pulling out causing me to stop short could of caused a real accident

Should've break checked him tho

For real, if this car is as expensive as it sounds I'd let him help me fund fixing it up.

TIFU by listening to Ed Sheeran at work.

TIFU by listening to Ed Sheeran at work.

This literally happened an hour ago. Earlier this week I got my hands on the new Ed Sheeran album (Divide). Excited as I was to listen to it, I only got to this morning at work. Getting into work later than usual, and being a Friday, I thought I'd​ blast some tunes to end the week on a high. Everything was going swimmingly until the song "Supermarket Flowers" started (Ed's tribute to the passing of his grandmother). Well almost instantly the feels started. My stomach tightened up, throat clenched and tears started forming. Thinking I could breathe through it I had a drink of water and then the chorus hit and I lost it. As if time slowed I felt the first tear fall, hitting my paperwork and then I was done. Tears were falling as if Niagara Falls had made its way into my eyelids. My supervisor then walked into the room. What a sight I must have been, a sobbing bearded baby. Turning the music down I start damage control by explaining the song and that the feels got to me. But she just awkwardly stood there, saying "OK" and then slowly left the room. I composed myself, had a tea break and coming back to my desk there were councelling service pamphlets, and dealing with depression in the workplace printouts. The cherry on top, I have a session with the work shrink this afternoon to discuss what happened.

TL;DR Listening to Ed Sheeran at work, got the feels, lost it like a little girl losing her dolly, now my supervisor thinks I'm depressed and has scheduled a councelling session.

Update: Just got out of the meeting with the work shrink. After 30 minutes and telling me countless times I was in a "safe space" she has decided I'm suppressing what really happened. She has scheduled me in for fortnightly meetings until I "open up". So this FU is going to have long lasting effects. So really, TIFU by listening to Ed Sheeran and getting sent to therapy for the foreseeable future.

Edit: Wow gold, thankyou! This has gotten a lot bigger than I was expecting. Thanks everyone for the kind words, depression isn't something to take lightly and knowing that the service is available is definitely a positive to come out of the situation, even at my expense haha.

You should thank your supervisor for being that kind of person, even if you don't need that kind of help.

Her concern is definitely a positive to come out of this situation I guess.

You walk in that goddamn shrinks office and you tell her Ed Sheeran has the voice of a goddamn angel.

There's an upside to this, you get out doing some work for a little while.

TIFU by getting three traffic tickets at once

TIFU by getting three traffic tickets at once

About a week ago, I was driving back home from school just after the sun had gone down. I'm a pretty good driver with a fairly clean record, so I never expect to actually get pulled over for stuff, but after I stopped at a light, a police cruiser came up behind me and pulled me over. Of course, like any sane person would do, I immediately started wracking my brain trying to figure out what I had done wrong.

The officer came to my window and told me that my tail light was out. Okay, fair. Not that big of a deal.

I knew that my tail-light had been damaged a few days earlier by someone backing into it, but I was dumb enough not to test it and make sure that it was working, so even though I was caught off guard, I wasn't actually surprised. The officer noticed. Ticket one.

I gave the officer my license, and after a momentary pause, he went to his car to look me up in the database and fill out a ticket. I thought he would be back in a minute, but he wasn't. 5 minutes turned into 10 minutes turned into 30 minutes. Naturally, my mind started racing. "Oh shit, did I forget to pay something, am I going to jail?" etc, etc. Every moment, I was becoming more and more panicky and trying to fight back the urge to get out of the car and find out what was taking so long (obviously a terrible idea).

When the officer FINALLY came back, he explained that he had noticed my tag was expired on the way back to his car. On top of that, my license had just expired last month as well; apparently, if it had been just a week or two later, I would have been on my way to jail. Ticket two. Ticket three.

Obviously, I'm an idiot for not staying on top of those things, but what started out as someone backing into my tail light in a parking lot turned into $500 worth of tickets...plus I have to get the tail light fixed. RIP my paycheck.

TL;DR Got pulled over for a broken tail light, ended up with three tickets totaling $500. Thanks life.

Go to court (if you have time) on your court date and wait to discuss it with the court solicitor. If you have a clean record they might be willing to wave the ticket fees if you get everything fixed by a certain date. Tail lights can usually be a fix-it-ticket (not sure if that's what you got) and license expiration ticket fee will be waived if you get it taken care of, as does the expired tag. WHAT ACTUALLY LOOKS BEST, is to fix it all before going to court, then say you have it all taken care of (bring proof for each) and they might just throw it all out and you may not have to pay anything. Just some advice. IANAL.

I second this one. Like you said...make sure to fix ALL 3 THINGS right away. It helps.

Same situation as above, but he was black.

That sucks. I once got pulled over for an expired plate. It had been expired for nearly a year. Only cost me $70 though. Got pulled over once for a tail light being out, but he let me go after I explained the dealership broke it and replaced it during an oil change the previous day and I had no idea it wasn't working properly.

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TIFU by choking on an orange during an important work meeting.

TIFU by choking on an orange during an important work meeting.

One hour ago I experienced this. I am currently sitting in the bathroom wallowing in shame. So at my job I am being considered for a promotion and need to act my very best and put on my smarty pants to wow everyone. A meeting is set up with my boss, my boss's boss, and a few other higher ups so I can give a presentation about my teams progress and ideas of future steps to take. There is a big platter of all sorts of fruit in the middle of the table. Nervous me thinks that I will look more relaxed and confident if I eat something (false) so I grab an orange slice. I peel off the skin and pop that bad boy in my mouth with such confidence I completely bypass my teeth and it slides right down my windpipe. At this point the meeting had already started and it was just moments before I stood up to present and literally all thoughts of everything leave my head as my adrenaline kicks in that I am choking on an orange and I am going to die in the middle of this room. I stand up (which knocks my rolling chair back which smacks into a water cooler and cracks the base), and instead of giving myself the Heimlich which I thought was engrained in my head, I reach my hand down the back of my throat to grab that son of a bitch. My brain focuses on getting it out only so I don't realize I have scratched the inside of my mouth in my quest and I am bleeding. After a couple seconds (what felt like a lifetime) I grab the orange, pull it out and fling it across the room... straight into the eye of my boss's boss... who then proceeds to freak out since the acidity of the citrus juice from the fruit is burning his eye. I squeak out "Sorry!" And squirt a glob of blood from my mouth onto the fruit platter....

Needless to say the meeting was cancelled shortly after that. I am sitting in the bathroom terrified to leave.

TL;DR- important meeting for me, choke on orange, crack water cooler, throw orange from throat into bosses eye, burns his eye, spits blood on fruit platter. Awaiting my termination. Searching for new jobs soon...

Edit: Wow! Did not expect this to blow up like it did (thanks for the gold oh sweet stranger!) I'm glad many of you had a laugh at my miserable morning. Thanks for all the hilarious comments. I had initially gone to the bathroom to tend to my wounded mouth which was just a minor flesh wound on the inside of my cheek. I ended up smoothing things over by apologizing profusely and made a few bad jokes along the lines of "I had a bad case of the Mondays." The wounded eye boss man was very grumpy and I was a joke for my coworkers the rest of the day(foreseeing now the rest of my career there). I ended up doing the presentation a little after "the incident" and it went fairly well, all things considered, so hopefully when they are thinking later of promoting someone they think of the crazy blonde chick who threw up bloody orange on the boss.

Get out there and face it. It will only be bad if you act cowardly and try to hide from it. Stand up straight and look everyone in the eye.

TIFU by forgetting I'm not in Finland.

TIFU by forgetting I'm not in Finland.

So, as usually, this fuck up didn't happen today, it was yesterday. I'm an film school student, working as an intern in Slovakia. Yesterday I was supposed to be at the studio at 5pm so as usually, I took a bus to the centre at 4.20pm and went for a lunch before hitting it up to the studio.

There is this fancy eat-all-you-can type of buffet restaurant in a shopping center. It's my restaurant of chose, when it comes to filling your stomach quickly. So, I finish eating, check the clock and realize I'm almost late from work.

From here starts the chain of unfortunate events. Yesterday was a laundry day. Instead of having a nice clean suit on me, I was rocking cargo pants, hoodie and a cap. I also had a pair of sunglasses on me and as I was in hurry, I put them on. I raise from the table, "shout" thanks to the restaurant, put on my earplugs and tune in some lovely Finnish death metal on max volume.

From there I start to walk fast and later on it transforms into full-on running trough the shopping centre. I was only a couple of meters away from the exit when a large mall guard craps me from my shoulder and then proceeds to drag me from my hoodie.

At this point I was really confused and quite upset about the fact that a large man is destroying my clothes. I go full aikido on him and on the process of destroying his hand it clicks on me. I HADN'T PAID FOR THE DINNER! Now, I don't know how it is in your country, but in Finland you have to pay for your buffet before you get to eat anything.

So there I am. Terrified in the middle of a fully crowded shopping centre, suspect of a shoplift and assault on a guard. I raise my hands up in the air and go something along the line "Sir, I am so sorry, I was in hurry and I completely forgot to pay". Now of course, this guy didn't understand a single word from the sentence and back we went to the restaurant ( this time he was only dragging me from my hand, rather than my hoodie ). The guard had a discussion with the restaurant owner in Slovakian language and then the owner just simply shakes his head. I tried to explain myself but nobody spoke any english.

The guard escorts me to a side room with a chair and a table and leaves me there. At this point I'm starting to grow a bit tired of the whole situation and laugh to myself because this kind of stuff only happens in the movies. I start to text my friends about the situation and run out of battery in a couple of minutes. Gladly there was a clock on the wall and I could tell the time. At around 17.35 a pair of police officers come to the room and GLADLY one of them speaks fluent english.

Indeed I was suspected from a shoplift and I was to pay for the charges. I explained how I've been in this restaurant many times and I've paid for my lunch each and every time with no problem. At this point the officer looks at me like I'm an idiot and asks me not to lie to him. The guard had told them that none of the staff had recognized me and that's the reason why I am in custody. I explained to them how on all the previous visits I had probably been wearing a suit. I also told them how I was in hurry and had to run to be able to make it in time and the fact that in Finland we have to pay first. Then the cops ask why I didn't respond to the guard tailing me and shouting to me. I felt like an idiot and that I will never get away with this, but I answered with the truth. I had my earplugs blasting music on full volume so I didn't hear anything.

The cops finally accept the fact that it was all a big mistake. We go to the restaurant and the cops ask the owner if he recognizes me with a suit and then apparently he remembers me and says "sorry, sorry" and something in Slovakia. The police translates it to me, saying that the owner was sorry for the whole thing ( wasted time and the guard dragging me from my hoodie ) and said that I didn't have to pay for the lunch. I refused the offer, paid and left the shopping centre, calmly walking, without the earplugs or sunglasses.

I arrived to the studio an hour late and everyone was relieved to see me. They had tried calling me countless of times and they were afraid that I had been kidnapped or something, because during the 4 weeks I've been in here, I've never been late before. They had even called the police on me...

EDIT: People seem to be quite worried about my ears and the fact that I might not be aware of the permanent damage it causes to blast music on too loud. I stated that I had my earplugs on "full volume" which nessesarely is not the truth. Just loud enough that I didn't notice someone calling for me in a foreign language! Thanks for your consern! <3

EDIT 2: As for the band I was listening to, most likely Mors Principium Est. Check them out, they're amazing!

TL;DR an exchange student, forgot to pay for my dinner and accidentally acted as suspicious as one could, sat trough a police interrogation and caused global panic amongst my co-workers.

One hour late. Must have been kidnapped.

TIFU by knocking myself out with a piece of pizza

TIFU by knocking myself out with a piece of pizza

This happened maybe 10 minutes ago and I'm still in the shock of this situation also my engrish is bad so bear with me. This might be the stupidest fuck up I could ever imagine and I mean it. Here's how it all went down.

I came back from school, was a bit hungry so I popped one of those frozen pizzas in the oven. Not the healthiest option I know. Anyways we all know how dry these things can get, especially if you leave them in the oven a bit longer then you should. And that's what I did.

But me being the glutton here, I wouldn't let that pizza go to waste and decided to eat it. So I sat down at the table with my pizza, reading something on my phone, went for the second bite. It was the crust of this already dry pizza and I took a really really big bite and swallowed it almost whole because I couldn't chew it properly. Now, I'm guessing you could imagine the feeling of this huge chunk of crust piercing through my esophagus in the most painful way. I could feel that fucker going down in the slowest way possible. I was all "oh shiiiit" in my brain and did what most sane people wold do and took a huge gulp from my soda. And guess what?? That fucking gulp also joined the bite and at that point I realized my vision was going black. All I could think was "oh FUUU-"

Next thing I felt is hard cold kitchen ground underneath me. My cheek was pressed against and my head hurt like a motherfucker. I've never fainted before so I couldn't grasp the situation for a while. I saw my phone smashed into the pizza when I got up so I'm guessing I got blacked out, fell down and hit my head.

TL;DR the bite I took was so huge that it blocked my aorta or some shit and made me pass out.

Edit: Guys, thanks for all of your concerns and advice, I appreciate it. I'm all good now, only a tiny bump on my forehead. Most of you assumed I was a dude which is understandable I too tend to believe any internet stranger to be a male. And some of you said that my English isn't bad, thank you! You just can't be sure sure when it's not your native language, you know.

Also that few people who tried to explain what an aorta is... really?

so huge that it blocked my aorta or some shit

I too have eaten so much it nearly gave me a heart attack

TIFU by forgetting about a pot of rice on the stove, in a blizzard.

TIFU by forgetting about a pot of rice on the stove, in a blizzard.

So a couple of days ago, the northeast USA got hit with winter storm Stella. Where I live got hit with about 2 feet of snow, but thanks to an abundance of wind, there are piles of accumulation anywhere from a few inches, to 3-4 feet due to the snow blowing around. More on that later.

I'm a college student, and I live with my boyfriend and 3 other housemates in our apartment. We all got a day off because of the snow, so naturally, we were smoking bowls and watching Netflix. As the munchies kick in, I remember that I have some left over curry from a local (delicious) Indian restaurant down the street, and decide to heat it up. And of course, you can't have curry without rice. So, I throw the curry in the microwave, put some rice and water on the stove on low, and decide to retreat back to the warmth of my room; my roommates don't like us to keep much heat on in the house, and my toes are cold.

A considerable amount of time later, we're watching a rather steamy part of the movie, and the music in the background is horribly arranged; or at least thats what I thought. This monotonous beeping keeps interrupting the beat......wait. Wasn't I cooking rice?

My high ass forgot about the rice, and I come out to an apartment filled with smoke, and two smoke alarms going off. I tell my roommates we should get out, as my boyfriend tries to get the rice out of the apartment (which was burning, but not on fire). My heart is racing and I'm in a state of panic, not helped much by the weed-- I run over to the door to open it and get some fresh air, when I see that none of us has shoveled the deck yet, and we're stuck behind about 3 feet of snow- most of which has blown over from our roof.

Now starts the real panic.

Theres a wooden katana by our door that I stick through the small crack of an opening that I can manage with the screen door, and I start going crazy with it to try and loosen some snow. My boyfriend takes this over as I go to try and calm down/fan the fire alarm, that is now screaming "EVACUATE" at me. I go over to him a few minutes later, he mumbles something that I took as "yeah, I'm getting there, blah blah blah try and squeeze through the door." Theres a ~4 inch opening, and my adrenaline soaked body decides that we can fit through there. I squeeze through, bending the door, hyper-speed shoveling an area so he can open the door and my housemates can come outside. After a long while of shoveling in soggy pajama pants and a t-shirt, we were all safe and breathing fresh air.

After the place had been aired out thanks to the windows and some fans, we went back inside to get warm and hangout. What I failed to realize was that I was the only one freaking out, the whole time; as I'm trying to calm myself down (its been about 45 minutes and my heart is still beating out of my chest and my knees are still shaking), I start to feel something warm and wet on my shirt, along with a steadily increasing amount of pain. I lift up my shirt and find one normal breast, and one covered in blood from the nipple down. The shirt I was wearing was black, so I hadn't noticed the blood; after taking awhile to try and think of where the hell this came from, I remembered that I slipped through an opening between metal door and a wall that was about 4 inches too small for my body to comfortably slide by. Thanks to the crazy adrenaline/panic attack, I hadn't felt this at all. My pointy nipple ring (that catches on EVERYTHING) had gotten caught on the door, and almost nearly ripped completely out of my nipple.

Yeah.

So now my house smells like nauseating smoke, I ruined one of my favorite pots, and I ripped my favorite nipple in half. I might need to work on handling stress better.

I've since taken out that nipple ring, and will be sporting a bandaid on that nipple until it heals. RIP right nipple.

Moral(s) of the story; 1. ALWAYS stay in the kitchen while you're cooking something! or, set a timer and stay close. Don't do what I did. 2. It's fun to be snowed in, but don't let yourself literally be snowed in. Keep up with the snow, shovel it (reasonably) as its accumulating so you're ready in an emergency, and to make it easy on your back. You never know whats going to happen.

TLDR; gets high, makes rice, forgets about rice. Smoke alarms go off in abundance, tries to leave apartment, snowed in behind 3 feet of snow. Gets wild kick of adrenaline, has panic attack, tries to squeeze out of much too small an opening of the door to shovel to safety. Comes down from panic attack/adrenaline, realizes nipple ring got caught on the door, now has a nipple ripped in half.

I thought 'yeah that's pretty bad', then the nipple part came and I had to ball up under my safety blanket in bed.

TIFU by mixing up steam in the bag and boil in the bag rice

TIFU by mixing up steam in the bag and boil in the bag rice

I didn't properly check the packaging, assumed it was just a case of microwaving it.

About 4 mins later there's acrid smoke coming from the microwave, my eyes are watering and it's becoming increasingly hard to breathe. I quickly open the window after.

I turn the microwave off and pull out a black mass on a plate. I shove this in the sink and turn the tap on. I then hide in another room until the smokes cleared.

For some fucking reason the inside of the microwave is now orange, even after half an hour of cleaning, but I'm going to give it another go tomorrow .

TL:DR Black mess, orange liquid and smoke inhalation are why you should read packaging properly.

Not sure if anyone will read this, care or if I'm doing this right but ho hum, it won't be my biggest fuck up today.

EDIT:So I wake up to this having blown up.

I will try some of the cleaning methods, hopefully I don't get mustard gassed in the process.

As for getting a steam cooker, the main reason I'm having boil in the bag rice is because my flatmates broke the oven, added to that what they did to the George Foreman another person had, I'm not risking it.

No it's really not. The steam cleans the microwave and the lemon will help take care of the burnt smell and the enemy forces on the western front.

FTFY.

TIFU by dropping my phone in a deep fryer.

TIFU by dropping my phone in a deep fryer.

This happened yesterday, and i am still feeling the pain now.

So I was working my usual Monday shift at the fast food place I work at, dropping food in the fryers, same old same old. Mondays tend to be slower then most days, so I was just on my phone while talking to a coworker. Well I (had) a Galaxy S7 Edge with no case, and those things can be pretty slippery. So dumbly, I was look at instagram while by the fryers, and saw a funny meme. When I went to show my coworker, my phone slipped out of my hand and fell in the fryers. Now I kinda expected what was to come, so we both ran, as hot oil proceeded to blow everywhere. It still hit me and my coworker, me worse (of course), as I now have several burns all over my body. Even worse, i'm out of a $700 phone & got written up by my GM for being on my phone and ruining the oil. Oh yeah, the mess wasn't fun to clean either.

TL:DR - phone in fryer = boom

I clicked on the post hoping to see a picture of a deep-fried phone. After reading the post, I guess that's not going to happen.

TIFU by failing at rocketry and lighting myself on fire, and then almost freezing to death

TIFU by failing at rocketry and lighting myself on fire, and then almost freezing to death

Obligatory didn't happen today, was several weeks ago.

Some backstory, a couple friends and I have a side hobby of rocketry, building model rockets and launching them out in the middle of nowhere at a one of our houses. They're homemade with sugar and KNO3, a good/safe project to work on in your free time. These are 100% legal (the high school I went to here even makes these as chemistry curriculum) and we always follow all the airspace guidelines and safety measures.

The other day, we'd built one about three feet long with a good engine, and we were really optimistic about getting almost as far as we could push the legal airspace limit in our area. Went to light the fuse...nothing. It was about 0° and well below zero with big gusts of wind, and the lighter just wasn't having it. I soaked the fuse in lighter fluid, and still nothing. The entire bottle of lighter fluid cracked too and spilled out, so we ended up using what was for the rocket fuse and engine to get it to light. Still nothing.

I ran inside and grabbed a newspaper and a plastic box, lit the paper up and hauled ass back to our launch pad with a box of fire that would light the rocket in place of the lighter. At this point, we were all freezing to death and needed to get the launch done quick, so I lit up the fuse and sure enough, it went up in flames. Unfortunately, the high winds snapped part of the pad and a flaming rocket fell onto the ground, not moving but just burning fiercely. There was absolutely no risk of fire, as we launch after a rain/snowstorm and take the necessary precautions. Normally once the fire dies down within half a minute or so it can just be stomped out completely. We weren't too happy with the result of the whole mess so we cleaned up the debris and I went to stomp out the fire.

It is at this point that the fuckup began. You see, I forgot that the fuel was still burning a little. Normally this would be fine, but do you remember earlier when the lighter fluid bottle cracked open? Little did I know, the fluid had soaked into my jeans and I never noticed because I was already freezing. I stomped on the fuel, noticed that it was still burning, and then immediately noticed that my pants were ablaze.

At this point I stomped again to get the fire off of my ankles, and it didn't work. Within a second or two it was almost to my balls, and I had no plans to deal with that. Cue me scrambling to remove my pants, on fire, in freezing weather. I made a mad dash for the water, and ending up rolling around on the ground while dousing myself in ice water.

As soon as the fire went out, it hit me that the water was downright frigid. I put Usain Bolt to shame in the sprint to the house. I'm told that watching a singed, half-naked man in boxers soaked in ice water sprinting across a field in the middle of bumfuck nowhere was the highlight of my friend's lives.

Tl;dr: Failed at extinguishing fire from a model rocket, lit self on fire, almost burnt balls, put out fire with buckets of ice water only to almost freeze balls in 0° weather.

EDIT: Glad to see some other rocketry enthusiasts in the comments, even happier to see that safety is a priority. Anyone just getting into rocketry or wanting to should take away two things: rocketry can be really fun, but you gotta do it with the right safety procedures. There's almost always a rocketry club or organization nearby that'll happily guide you.

EDIT II: For those asking about getting into hobby rocketry, look at joining a local club or organization such as NAR or Tripoli Rocket Association (TRA), check nearby for hobby shops that carry rocketry gear. Start small with an inexpensive rocket kit and motor to get a feel first, and then if you enjoy that move on to projects with an organization or some larger rocket kits. I would advise avoiding the "sugar rocket" model as it is risky if you don't know what you're doing (and still risky even if you do), and less reliable than commercial rocketry motors.

Make sure you're safe too, and take a look at your local airspace laws to see how high you can legally send a rocket into the sky. Also, launch in areas where you won't risk hitting other people's property or causing a fire, and please make sure to clean up any and all debris or garbage that might remain.

Stay safe, and have fun!

My friends and I once decided to prank a house party in the middle of the night in a very rural area. There were 5 of us in the back of a truck going to throw tube-launched fireworks by hand into the front yard and drive away. (Nobody was in the big empty front yard so it was a safe plan)...

Now... what happened. We drove past the house once or twice to figure out a getaway plan. We prepared designated throwers and my friend was driving.

The friend that was driving insisted on lobbing a couple twisted together "artillery shell" fireworks as well. To do this, he was going to throw OUT the driver side window with his non-dominant arm, over the truck and into the yard. While some of us in the back lit our bouquets of fireworks as well.

The fuck-up..... friend stops, lights, and tosses his... it lands in the bed of the truck with 5 of us friends... only one other guy got his 3round×3 bouquet lit.... which he immediately dropped in the bed as when he saw the rest.

What I remember. We stop, we light... I'm trying to light mine. I hear "Oh fuck". I turn and see the second friend drop his and know we are all fucked. I pull my hood up and my faux leather jacket tight and cover against the tailgate as FIFTEEN FUCKING EXPLOSIONS rock a truck bed filled with 5 people.

Dead silence. Quick check. Everyone is alive. I start yelling "Just fucking drive!" At 1st friend who was driving...

Minor burns to the 2nd friend but after dropping his bouquet he had it coming.... otherwise I have a pair of jeans with distinctive scorch marks near my balls.

Before you ask... yes. There was alcohol involved.

Try one of these subthreads