This is an old entry into one of cracked’s photoplasty articles. It wasn’t a real ad.
January 2, 2018 1998
If I'm spending $110 this shit better come to life in the middle of the night and strangle me to death
It's only there because nobody would pay $130 for it. Wait a little more and it'll be $89.99
Also, what on Earth is this. Like what is with that creepy hand
Who would pay $110 for this
Spirit is willing but the flesh is heavy.
Fat pussy. In layman terms.
I think there was a lack of the application of friction. Ff = μN
Some just aren't cut out for catamatics. Mathacatics? You see where I'm going with this.
You're not supposed to use glass noodles for spaghetti.
Red goin’ in, red comin’ out
I want to say use a strainer... but glass slivers and dust would still be in the sauce, so I would guess not, unless you like the danger of glass in your intestines. Even with Pyrex, would not recommend.
Rip dinner, you could have been delicious
"You think this is a game!?"
I liked the ending
Politest thieves ever
They were not expecting us to be there.
I love how they hop back on their toes, as if it still matters
I'm confused, why did they run away? Was it because of you and the dog?
There was an attempt to say "could've".
There was an attempt to speak English.
My sister did something similar with an Arby's mozz stick in the car when we were kids. She started choking and we had to pull over and give her the heimlich on the side of the highway. Ah, memories.
A+ cheese pull
Plot twist: OP's cousin is Brock Turner
Plot twist: OP's cousin is Brock Turner Kevin Spacey
Plot twist: OP was was wrapping his cousin
You may have meant u/Doctor-B instead of U/Doctor-B.
Remember, OP may have ninja-edited. I correct subreddit and user links with a capital R or U, which are usually unusable.
Belongs on /sub/quityourbullshit
Well at least you're optimistic
This legitimately happened to me once. My aunt bought me a case of Tab as a gag. Out of the six pack one was empty and one was half full.
I once found an unopened soda can in the ocean. When I opened it, it was full of seawater.