Therewasanattempt therewasanattempt

To fuckin kill her friend

To fuckin kill her friend

That fake ass hug at the end

Were charges filed? Holy shit, that was attempted murder!!!

"are you okay? I completely didn't see that bus right next to us and then decided to body check you into the ground so you'd get run over. what a freak accident"

They appear to be walking on the sidewalk, so that white car that is driving towards them and stops means the driver certainly knew what was up and didn't let her get away with it.

to grammar

to grammar

This is so sad.

Someone please look after their child.

Oh look! A correct usage of "their!"

Can we hit women?

Someone please look after they're child

FTFY

To blackmail Jaromir Jagr

To blackmail Jaromir Jagr

The better part of the story is she posted it and her boyfriend saw the post.

And her boyfriend actually idolized Jagr.

You're 18 now, y'all are free to make all the bad decisions you want and no one's responsible but you.

How would that be bad for him?

to give a goal.

to give a goal.

Basically me trying to get my life together

If the guy in the black wasn't rolling around on the floor, acting like he'd just been hit by a hand grenade, he'd have been able to knock the ball clear.

... Footballer AI is amazingly accurate these days.

that was the most suspenseful thing i've ever seen

RIP controller

To put on a fucking mask

To put on a fucking mask

No one cares who he was till he tried putting on the mask

He is kotex man.

Mask off

Would you use this mask when you’re having sex, like a condom? Hence the name: Fucking Mask.

To rescue the firefighters

To rescue the firefighters

You still need to open the gate to get a fire truck in there. Looks like the firefighters walked back and decided to try entering somewhere else

"I'll just be in the fire if you need me" 🙃

Iirc that's actually what happened.

Totally agree that it would likely need to be opened. But watching him stop and walk away immediately after seeing the firefighters walk around makes me doubt he was thinking about trucks.

That said, while the guy missed the mark, i believe he was trying to help. His heart and instinct were probably in the right place. No shame in honestly trying to help, but funny IS funny.

To insult the Xbox 360

To insult the Xbox 360
I see no fail here

It's a well known troll comment the guy just got made after fool of

Fresh 2008 memes

Touche sir. Touche.

To have sex

To have sex

When she walks away, I can hear the cat calling after her, “Babe! Babe! Come back to bed, babe! Well looks like you’re licking yourself tonight, Randy.”

There's something strangely familiar about this scene!

Better go pet the cat because that's the only pussy you're getting tonight.

To get a free car wash

To get a free car wash

/sub/nevertellmetheodds of having a fire hydrant in the exact place you decide to barrel over a wall in a mini-van.

Go ahead, you deserve the karma for that one lol. Post it.

To get laid

To get laid

Wow. He just carpet bombed his entire contact list of hopefuls.

Talk about your all time backfires.

If he's in a small town, he's done until he moves away for college

I don't think someone in a small town where everyone knows everyone would use "where are you from" as a pick up line.

Well there is a 1% chance this ends in an orgy

Try one of these subthreads