This dickhead literally just wanted everyone to know what kind of book he was reading.
There's some truth to this story. It IS 2018, indeed.
70.7k retweets. JFC I hate every single one of those people.
This isn't even cool. This is just being an asshole.
This guy is a genius. Someone should tell him to try reproducing by plugging himself into himself.
I’ve never heard of a more subtle and eloquent way of telling someone to go fuck themselves
No but you broke your powerbank
You really think he hasn't tried already?
I don’t necessarily agree with trump and how he moves but this just screams “look at me, I’m special”
Did you ever notice that people like this, both male and female, always look exactly like you expect them to?
My major takeaways from this were " I want to be with non White people"
The cringe is strong with this one.
Yeah 6 year olds always make sex jokes and love to talk about letter grades. Seems legit. Going to have to scrub this post.
And then the child was never the same, knowing he was responsible for his father's death. From that day on, he found himself incapable of making jokes, no matter how hard he tried. His friends came and went, angry that he found no humor in their tales or jokes. Eventually, it all came full circle as he was ambushed by a clown and beaten to his last legs. The clown removed his makeup and whispered his name to the boy. With these words in his head, he passed away in the alley with the guilt of his father's death.
Years later, the police tracked this boy's killer and imprisoned the clown before he could strike again, and his identity shocked the court. His name was Albert Einstein.
Press f to pay respects for the husband.
Especially sex jokes about mom.
And then I was astonished.
Something similar happened to me once, I had a friend who really liked me but I wouldn’t date him. He was blowing up my phone one morning with “just give me a chance” and all that, and I was telling him no, when he told me I left my watch at his apartment. I said something like “I’ll just come get it later.” And he texted “I’m already here.” And a few minutes later he was banging at my door. I let him in and he wouldn’t leave, it was the most uncomfortable thing.
Download “hooked” to get the rest of the story for free!
Astonished isn't necessarily good
That exact thing happened that the supermarket I worked at.
Only instead of Hitler killing her mother it was her father getting PTSD from his time serving in the south pacific.
And instead of a Trump supporter she was cussing out random Asian ladies.
Now that I can believe
And her mothers name... Hitler
And her mother was... Eva Braun
I love the "#parenting" at the end. They just want comments about their good parenting, or how they managed to become such a woke kid.
can a toddler be deadpan?
Obviously this toddler is a comedic master
The most aggravating part of this post is using “@“. It was still two keystrokes to do it.
I guess she just didn't have any interest in him.
Then he was all like, "You're about to get fired for revealing confidential information boo, meet me at Micky D's for a quarter pounder...then I'll buy you lunch with that 11.96." Everyone in line clapped.
Why do people make up stories where their comeback isn't even that good?
Oh yeah?! Well you're a purdydoodyhead!
OH YOU JUST GOT ROASTED
And then people stopped giving money to the church, gave them to us instead
And then Jeesus rose from the dead and clapped.
Yes, the people kept going to the pastor they disliked for whatever reason, then after one disagreeable incident he left the congregation forever.
And after 5 minutes of continuous clapping did a loud boom of thunder echo through the aisles. Stepping out of the church and looking towards the sky, the clouds did part for the holiest looking hands ever seen clapping along with a hundred angels