thathappened

Riiiiiiiight

Riiiiiiiight

Possible joke/satire, unless he is actually stupid enough to use the whole "everyone clapped" saying that's been a meme for a long time now. Either way it's an unfunny joke or story

Ehhhh kinda funny :p

This is obviously a joke.

And that guy? Was Albert Einstein.

And then I got free Starbucks for life and everyone clapped

And then I got free Starbucks for life and everyone clapped

I like how they felt the need to throw in the part about the boner.

This could've happened. It's not a very flattering story.

Honestly this is pretty believable.

The classic "just killed a fly" boner.

That's a smooth ass mom (from r/americandad)

That's a smooth ass mom (from r/americandad)

Clickhole is part of The Onion, a satirical/humorous news website.

So, yeah, it didn't happen. It's a joke.

Assuming he was a stoner teenager, he probably borrowed the money itself from his mom so she was loosing money buying weed in the first place

/sub/circlejerk

Clickhole is a satire site. This story is $100% not true.

I pulled out my dick to show them and she just started jerking me off

I pulled out my dick to show them and she just started jerking me off

That thread is a goldmine. I'm beginning to think Reddit is entirely made up of that friend in junior high who tries to impress everyone with his ridiculous fake sex stories.

Stop. Watching. Porn. And assuming it's real life

Saw some guy put a banana in the washing machine, put it on a 40 spin and masturbate whilst watching it. Don't do drugs, kids.

how the fuck do people believe this shit lmao

I also need to mention

Atheists are so oppressed

Atheists are so oppressed

Who the fuck wears an atheist bracelet

I wouldn't even know what that bracelet meant tbh. And I am an atheist.

Some atheists have various ceremonial jewelry to display their atheism. Some of them meet up once a week on Sunday to discuss their atheism. It's also common to have a ceremony to welcome children into it, a communion of sorts.

/s

Right? I've never once seen that shit.

Grandma invites armed rover in for tea, his mom calls her later to thank her.

Grandma invites armed rover in for tea, his mom calls her later to thank her.

If this photo was attached to the story, I'd call absolute bullshit.

Maybe the first part happened, it would be pretty hard to pistol whip a granny after she has politely asked you if you want to have a cup of tea.

But then the mother calling to thank the woman brings us back to bullshit city.

The real OG

Someone should send this to NASA. We can win alien grandmothers hearts and minds by sending armed rovers instead of our nerdy ones with scientific equipment.

Bows

Hey everyone look I’m 29 and I know how to park a car

Hey everyone look I’m 29 and I know how to park a car

TIL "grilling" = "complimenting"

She is not a words girl, more of a car girl.

I can park therefore I am a car girl.

In reality it was said to her with heavy sarcasm.

From simple pizza delivery girl to super model in just a day. Wow.

From simple pizza delivery girl to super model in just a day. Wow.

That's nothing. I once delivered Chinese food to a surgeon with carpel tunnel and performed a triple bypass.

That's genuinely impressive, or at least it would be if you weren't me. In 1970, 13 years before I was born, I delivered a pizza to NASA space center in Houston where I've never been and talked one of their engineers through sorting out Apollo 13 and helping it land. I don't like to talk about it because I don't like to brag about saving those lives.

Btw i'm all for food but would people running a modeling competition even let a model order a huge order of pizza and sides right before she's due to go on stage??

What a hero... if you were me of course. Last year a girl came to my room and quickly said to me "Hi cutie wanna fuck?", me as a sexy mother fucker i obviously accepted, when i was banging her in bed i suddenly get a call from James (a professional airplane pliot) asking for my help or he is gonna crash the plane, well i quickly thought of getting my $1.000.000,00 plane on the airport and lifting up to the skies. When i was in the side-by-side to James, i jumped to his airplane in the middle of the sky (And yes i sacrificed my $1.000.000,00 plane for that), taking control of the airplane i had to fix the airplane engine, so i got to the engine room and theres a box, i had to choose between a red and a blue wire, as a smartass that i am i chose red because that is how it works, got back to the airplane control room and get to land that baby, the whole airplane clapped for me, then this girl wanted fuck me twice again LOL.

UPDATE: JUST GOT A CALL FROM THE GOVERNMENT AND THEY WANT ME TO BE PRESIDENT FUUUUUUUUCK

Edit: First reddit gold! Thank you soo much!

Oh hai mark

Oh hai mark

Can confirm that, was dad and the coolness of that boy and the way he used to bang my daughter like I did just reaffirmed my thoughts of him being the best choice for my daughter. Gave him the thumbs up and had a big grin

That night, they shared conquest stories over a couple of beers. Turns out he wasn't mormon in his college years.

AND EVERYONE CLAPPED

Turns out he's not a vigin anymore ;)

And then everyone clapped

And then everyone clapped

Who posted this, Peter Parker?

"Something in my skull" ordered me to, definitely not my brain though I dont tend to use it much

So he could not hear people shouting but could hear panties drop. Those must some really heavy panties.

This made my arsehole constrict like a drawstring bag.

Try one of these subthreads