thatHappened

He never comes near me now

He never comes near me now

And then the whole class applauded and the Principal gave him $100.

I'm kinda skeptical here. I would have found it more believable if the teacher was also like "OHHHHH".

Why do people make up stories where their comeback isn't even that good?

"People in that church clapped. CLAPPED"

"People in that church clapped. CLAPPED"

And then people stopped giving money to the church, gave them to us instead

And then Jeesus rose from the dead and clapped.

Yes, the people kept going to the pastor they disliked for whatever reason, then after one disagreeable incident he left the congregation forever.

And after 5 minutes of continuous clapping did a loud boom of thunder echo through the aisles. Stepping out of the church and looking towards the sky, the clouds did part for the holiest looking hands ever seen clapping along with a hundred angels

The worst part was the NES cartridge had cost the guy over $100%

The worst part was the NES cartridge had cost the guy over $100%

Is that guy actually trying to defend Konami? I’ve never seen it done before

But the original two metal gear games do have a point in the series, they are the rise and fall of Zanzibarland and how Snake establishes himself as a legend by beating Big Boss twice (once with a motherfucking homemade flamethrower)

And I just checked Wikipedia and Kojima was involved in both games so what is he going on about. Kojima is also known for being super nice to fans isn’t he?

fuckkonami

A...gentleman...is lying. That's all.

Don't make me puke little brother

Don't make me puke little brother

Yes, my 3 month child speaks philosophical rebuttles whenever I answer a basic question.

Because we couldn't possibly treat every person like it was their last day on Earth. We couldn't get anything done.

Hey i let my daughter point at a globe in a store so i can make up a bullshit story online!

Hey i let my daughter point at a globe in a store so i can make up a bullshit story online!

Her first words

Anyone that honestly believes the earth is flat has something mentally wrong with them.

And i shit you not, the cashier and all of the customers linked arms around the whole store and clapped

I think that some people cling too much into conspiracy theories because it's an easy way to make them feel special.

I too, keep my furniture polish next to my cooking spray.

I too, keep my furniture polish next to my cooking spray.

He/she probably did as soon as she sprayed it, then realized her/his mistake? I dunno I could believe this one.

I’ve seen thus on tumblr and I assumed they never got as far as spraying it but reaching for it and quickly realizing. Like one time I almost reached for some non toothpaste cream (I forget what it was) and almost used it before I noticed the texture looked wrong.

And we're all unable to detect the fake lemon scent of furniture polish as we spray it into a frying pan.

When I was little I accidentally put sour cream instead of creamed cheese on my brother’s bagel. This is totally believable.

Woke child explains to her mother the social issues of the country

Woke child explains to her mother the social issues of the country

It’s funny cause I work w kids and their wokeness is more like “my barbies are naked cause it’s hot outside” o ok

/sub/wokekids

I love that sub. It's like there's an entire community full of self-absorbed dipshits who actually believe other people will buy into their bullshit Failbook posts.

Edit: "Huuuurrrrrrr-duuuuurrrrrrr...my one-year-old just told a racist woman to either shape up or ship out! So proud! Duuuurrrrrrrrrr......."

🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

A calculated response

A calculated response

I can sort of see this happening, although they left out the part where everyone silently glared at them and their supervisor told them to sit the fuck back down.

Honestly, I make shit jokes all day to my colleague who's sat right next to me. But I wouldn't stand up and say it loudly.

More like they looked at each other, chuckled and continued their business. Some ppl just wanna farm internet points at any cost omg

Is this premise really so ridiculous? No one can believe someone stood up in their office to deliver calculator wordplay? Seems plausible to me

Oprah 2020

Oprah 2020

Her daughter is also a senior /r/ politics moderator.

/sub/wokekids

"I'm gonna slit your throat" "Aww so cute"

Sure as hell hope not

[x-post from r/vaxxhapend] the ol’ my whole class clapped

[x-post from r/vaxxhapend] the ol’ my whole class clapped

I assume this guy has already been vaccinated then.

Then they all got polio

I don't see how giving us autism would make us easier to control. Like, has OP even met a person with autism?

Do school nurses even give vaccines? Been a while since I've been in school.

Try one of these subthreads