Women who do kegel exercises - has it made sex better? If so, how?
I've heard that doing these exercises makes sex heaps better.
Would be really interested to hear about any experiences people have had, and what differences - if any - kegels have made to your sex life.
How did your sensations change when you started to do them? Did your partner notice a difference, and enjoy the more ~toned feeling too? Any negative experiences to report? Etc.
Here's to amazing orgasms!
Edit: Holy god damn, everybody. Kegels fucking kick ass. Some awesome advice coming through - thanks to everyone who's contributing!
A lot of people are suggesting Lelo Luna Beads. Thanks to /u/TattoosNgirlyHearts, who suggested buying them from pinkcherry.com. Also, apps - /u/Altostratus has recommended mK Free.
Great endorsement from /u/princesaanonimal, re: kegel work + orgasms - "I kind of enter an altered state of consciousness. It's like volcanos and earthquakes and feeling like you're floating or dying or being fucked or enveloped by a deity and every other superlative one can imagine."
In conclusion, GET THE FUCK ONTO KEGELS, LADIES! AND MEN TOO!
My boyfriend told me "I need to check your temperature" and then stuck his penis in my butt. What are some strange things people have said before entering you?
Have you ever been "caught" by anyone? What was your excuse?
Last night during my throes of orgasm, I heard a knock on the door. It was my daughter wanting to make sure I was ok! I can be rather loud and my husband did warn me to cover my face with a pillow, but being it was in the wee hours I assumed she would be asleep! I had to tell her it was a bad dream!
Boyfriend said I "take too long" to orgasm and now I feel defeated and depressed and inadequate
I never orgasm through PIV regardless of what position or anything I've tried. I can through direct clitoral stimulation. I take up to 30 minutes to achieve orgasm this way. He said he enjoyed doing it but I should work on doing it faster. It just made me feel like shit. Like I am not good enough and now it's like every time we do anything I feel under pressure to perform and I stress out and it's making it take even longer. I just don't know what to do. I spent the last six years in a sexless relationship and was enjoying this new relationship and now I just feel like I am a sexual loser. Are there anythings I can do to make myself orgasm faster?
I'm married to a man and but I think I'm gay -- UPDATE!
Just a heads up, my post is going to be pretty NSFW. You've been warned!
So, my husband got off work and was tired so I didn't talk with him then. I've been waiting for the right time...and the right time happened to be last night!
I cried a bunch (predictably). I said a lot of the same stuff I had been saying in the other thread -- how I had been having fantasies of women and struggled feeling sexually attracted to him. I thought he was going to be super hurt, and he was, but not for the reasons I thought.
I thought confessing my lack of satisfaction with our sex life would hurt his pride or ego or whatever, but (just like a lot of you said) what really hurt him was that I hid any of it.
I felt pretty sheepish after that. There was a lot of apologizing and watery laughing after that. I felt this huge burden lift after crying it out. We chatted about other stuff in our lives, but the conversation ended up back on sex again as the night wore on.
I felt nervous and wrong-footed. It's been a long time since I've been so vulnerable and open, all my secrets were kind of out there.
He said that he 'wanted to try something'. I was SUPER self-concious, pretty much just laid there like a corpse, all stiff limbed and somber.
But he talked me through it. I didn't have any expectations really...after putting everything out there in the open, I felt like the charade had dropped and that I didn't have to fake being as 'in to it' as I had been trying to previously.
So I'm lying there, kind of passively (please remember, super super uncomfortable still, okay?) and he starts talking about my body. He's petting me and rubbing me and it felt nice, in a calming sort of way.
But then OH MY SWEET FUCKING GOD did he surprise me! He started out saying innocent enough things, like how much he liked my hair (while he played with it), or he'd stroke my arm and remark about a group of freckles there. That kind of stuff.
But then like all of a sudden he starts saying totally raunchy, straight up full monty, spreadsheet of Penthouse kind of stuff. We're talking explicit stuff, stuff that would make your hair curl. And like....he put an extra focus on all of the feminine parts of me, talking about how hot girls are.
I started picturing it along with what he was saying, started jacking him off (because he had a raging hard on for the longest time at that point and I'm not completely heartless).
We started talking back and forth. He asked questions about girls that I'd pictured or fantasized about. We compared what we liked. It was straight up, hands down, the HOTTEST thing I've ever done. We didn't end up having sex but --heres the best part-- I ACTUALLY CAME!!!!
Okay. So, it's like the biggest deal ever for me. I don't feel like any sudden attraction to my husband has cropped up, but I feel a lot less hopeless.
Honestly it was all the dirty talk that helped me through it. And hell, it wasn't like it was a chore or anything! I love him and you know what?
I think we can work with what we've got!! :)
I'm a male who was raped by a female. AMA.
A couple of years ago today, I felt like I was raped by a women I trusted. A lot of people don't understand in today's society how a man can be sexually violated by a woman, since it's almost always the other way around. So to shed light on this issue, I'm willing to revisit that moment in my life and answer any questions you might have.
Edit: I'm so very thankful for all of the supporting comments and thoughtful discussion this has spawned. I had to stop answering questions last night, but I will try and pick up where I left off last night.
Edit 2: I really appreciate all of the supportive comments, thoughtful questions, moving stories, and poignant discussion. I don't know if there is already something like this, but I decided to create a sub-reddit for male sexual abuse victims: /sub/malevictimsanonymous
I'll be writing up a full story shortly, but I kind of need a break. Loved talking with you!
Communication is seriously the hottest thing ever
We get so many posts in /sub/sex about men who are freaking out because they weren't able to get hard when they were with a woman they were crazy attracted to and really wanted to impress. I had an amazing experience today that spoke volumes to this. It was my first time being sexual with this new partner.
So I'm going down on him and I notice him getting a bit tense and he covers his hands with his face and says "I think it's happening". So I immediately stop, thinking something's really wrong and I ask what was wrong. He responds with "I'm getting anxiety about my penis". Turns out he was getting worried about being able to impress me and was having a difficult time maintaining his erection (I had been having so much fun going down on him, I hadn't noticed that he was less hard). I swear to god... him being that vulnerable and opening up like that turned me on even more. I looked him dead in the eye and said "so?". He gave me a confused look and I elaborated "I fucking love that you were able to just tell me that. But here's the thing... I'm having a lot of fun, so I'm not going to stop unless you really want me to. I'm going to keep going down on you, regardless of if you're hard or soft and I'm going to love every minute of it." I could literally feel the tension easing out of his body. And not even 10 seconds later, he was rock hard. No more 'issues' with erection for the rest of the (2 hour long) session. But even if he wasn't able to maintain an erection, I honest to god would not have cared... I knew he was enjoying the stimulation and I was enjoying it too. And goddam, he had an amazing mouth.
I know this won't work for absolutely everyone, but guys- if you're getting anxious around your erection, see if you can just let your partner know. I can't describe to you how amazing it was to be with a man who was comfortable enough with me to share his concerns/worries with me instead of freaking the fuck out inside his head. It made me want to give him even more pleasure than before. I was also really thankful that he gave me the chance to voice how I felt about it.
Girlfriend(F21) regards sex as a "treat". WTF
Now she doesn't withhold sex but she said that the other day. I got my paycheck and she said "yay now you can treat me" and I told her how she never treats me. She said that she does "treat" me with sex...
How wrong is this?
UPDATE: okay you guys were right, she was joking...facepalm
Ok Sexxitors, long story short. I'm a 34(M) married to a wonderful and sexy lady going on 12 years now. High school sweethearts, only ever had sex with each other, the whole nine yards. Had a wonderful and fulfilling sex life... Until nearly a year ago when I was in a car accident and lost use of most of my body. I have limited mobility in my hands, but for just about everything I am reliant on other people. And, while I do get erections from time to time, there's been zero sex since my accident, and I will be honest, I feel awful for my wife. It breaks my heart as well to not be able to satisfy her, but overall it hasn't been great as we've been so busy adjusting. What I'm concerned about is fulfilling her sexual needs as best as possible, and while she has said to not even worry about it, I do. She's made it very clear that she intends to stay with me, but as it seems unlikely that ill be able to Throw her down and pleasure her anytime soon I'm turning to the Internet. Cuckolding is, for both of us, out of the question, and I've brought up the topic of maybe some kind of modified facesitting at some point in the future with medical approval (that's iffy at this point TBH), combined with vibrator play as I can use my hands somewhat, but does anybody on reddit have any experience with this kind of thing? I know its batshit crazy but it's the Internet so maybe ill find some equally crazy. We're both really sex positive people and I guess anything you guys know about anything like this or any similar stories to inspire both me and the wife, or even firsthand accounts of couples working through this kind of thing as pertains to sex? Honestly I've come to terms with my situation, and I'm ok with it, as much as can be expected, but I really want to do my best for her. And it's hard. And frustrating, even though she's been completely amazing. So anyways all you Internet people, throw some of those good old fashioned knowledge bombs on me. I probably won't feel it at first anyways... Thanks everybody!