sex

FINALLY can make myself cum without a vibrator

FINALLY can make myself cum without a vibrator

Sorry for extreme TMI, it was just so liberating and I can't exactly tell anyone in real life.

To be honest I’m not sure anything in this subreddit would be considered TMI given it is a sex subreddit.

Anyway though good for you and hopefully you find a good partner that can satisfy you!

This gives me a lot of hope actually. Ty

Ha! My boyfriend use to sometimes try to “watch me get myself off” in the midst of sex when he needed a break. He’d put my fingers in my pussy and lean back. I’d instantly stop, sit up, and say “You know that isn‘t how this works in the land of batteries, right?” I’d reach for my vibrator and he’d instantly get back to work, eager to not be outperformed by a toy (he’s a bit jealous of my sidepiece.)

I [29m] had a rough flashback of my rape on my birthday last week and I want to tell you about it.

I [29m] had a rough flashback of my rape on my birthday last week and I want to tell you about it.

Unfortunately I have no good advice for you. I'm so sorry that you had to go through this and keep dealing with it. I'm glad you have an awesome wife to take care of you. You deserve all good things. Good luck in all your endeavors, internet stranger.

I had a traumatic experience a couple of years ago and had/have PTSD about it for a long time. The thing that helped me the most was talking about with friends and a therapist. Talking about it really sucks and I had more than a few flashbacks and nightmares but it helped me immensely to deal with it instead of just shoving it down.

Maybe something in this talk could speak to you... https://www.ted.com/talks/thordis_elva_tom_stranger_our_story_of_rape_and_reconciliation?utm_camp...

Perhaps seek professional advice...

Making love vs. Having sex

Making love vs. Having sex

I (26m) have always put a divide in my sex life between making love and having sex. Don't get me wrong, there is an emotional connection between myself and my partner (24f), but that's not what's on display during sex. My GF and I have some sick nasty sex, I love it and it's crazy. I've never connected with someone so well before, especially sexually. We're totally open about our weird stuff, which is really weird stuff, even by hentai standards kinda weird stuff. I'd mentioned early in the relationship that I have this mental divide between making love and having sex. She didn't really understand what I meant.

I explained that when you make love there is a lot more eye contact, sensual kissing, you hold each other tight, it's much slower paced and you say sweet things to each other, stuff you wouldn't normally say. It's emotionally charged and a special moment you share. I told her I'd never done it before but always wanted to. She of course teased me about it. She's a wild child and we've both had trouble communicating emotions verbally. We both show affection physically with kisses, cuddles and are very selective of our partners.

We have very high sex drives so when she started having trouble getting in the mood it was, odd. She'd never had that happen before and we'd been having better and better sex the last week or so. Just finished a willy clone she's been incredibly excited for and to take home with her too. I realized something was off when we were doing a session of one of her fetishes and she just didn't really seem into it. We stopped about 20 minutes in and talked about what's going on. She felt really bad about it and apologized. She's usually ready to go at the drop of a hat. She confessed that she wanted more kisses, affection, and sweet talk for a little bit. I held her on my lap in a cuddle type position for a little while and talked about what's going on with her and had a nice moment.

I put away the kinky stuff, sat back down and pulled her onto my lap and we cuddled for a bit longer. After a while I pulled her chin up and started kissing her sensually. Usually there is a fair amount of tongue and it's all hot and heavy. This time I kept the pace slow and light, no tongue. Moved to kissing on her neck and saying some sweet stuff about how much I love her and what she means to me. She started shuttering and getting into things. I took her by the hand and moved from the living room couch to my bed. Things continued as they do and we made love.

It was a beautiful moment. She has a hard time looking me in the eye during sex. This time we had a lot of eye contact and that means a lot to me, she's shy about it. She even sweet talked me which is not at all her forte. She has an extremely hard time opening up to people so for her to be vulnerable like that means the world to me. After things hit their climax we laid there staring at each other, kissing and flipping each other shit about being all mushy. She got really red in the face and told me it was the best sex she'd ever had. That hit me petty hard in the feels. Her sex drive is back up to full throttle too.

In a good healthy relationship, you need both. Some nights we take it slow and make love, other nights (last night 😁) it's hard fast and just fucking.

It's, and this is my opinion, how you know you may have found someone you are truly compatible with, it's also the sex you will miss if you ever break it off.

Like I said I've never been this connected to someone before. We both have really weird kinks and fetishes that we pair well with each other and have that connection to where we made love. Hands down best and most healthy relationship I've ever been in.

Sometimes you got to squeeze

Sometimes you got to say please

Sometimes you've got to say hey

I'm gonna fuck you, softly

I'm gonna screw you gently

I'm gonna hump you, sweetly

I'm gonna ball you, discreeeetlllllleeeeyyyyyy

Very much on point at love making and sex. I miss the last time that I made love with someone.

I (21/M) Lost My Virginity Two Days Ago, but I Am Struggling To Cope With My Performance.

I (21/M) Lost My Virginity Two Days Ago, but I Am Struggling To Cope With My Performance.

You made her orgasm four times. What’s the problem? Believe your girlfriend when she tells you you’re enough. I understand, as part of the reason why I waited so long to finally lose my virginity was fear of having a barely average penis and also being uncircumcised.

But you have to trust your partner. You have to believe them when they tell you it’s not an issue. This insecurity will eat you alive and prevent you from forming meaningful relationships if you don’t get a handle on it.

Most girls can't come from penis alone and need clit play. 4 times is amazing for your first time, honestly you should be really happy with yourself.

Her not orgasming through sex has nothing to do with the size of your penis. It took me 10 years to finally orgasm through penetrative sex. And it has nothing to do with the man, his size, or what he did. Sometimes it just takes women longer to.. figure it out. Our bodies aren’t the same. So please don’t feel insecure about that fact.

Also, sex and relationships are about trust. You need to trust what she’s telling you. You are what she wants. Don’t let insecurities or something she’s never even expressed, keep you from having a fulfilling sexual relationship.

And lastly, big dicks are not all they’re cracked up to be. The best dick is from a man who loves me, and cares for me. Men are taught to think big dicks are all you’re measured by. But why ask a man, when a woman is telling you otherwise? Trust your girl, and enjoy the experience together.

Thank you so much for this. It makes me feel better know how complicated and complex sex can be for any man of any size. I realized how much endurance was involved when I was in the missionary position. My arms damn near felt like noodles by the time I was transitioning.

I also agree on the getting rid of porn and excessive masturbation. I have been used to my "death grip" hand motions for so long that I lost almost all the sensations in my penis.

I really do appreciate the kind words. These comments are making me feel much better. I have been overthinking it. I just want to be the best person I can be for her.

After 6.5 years we found yet ANOTHER way we love to have sex!

After 6.5 years we found yet ANOTHER way we love to have sex!

It's refreshing to see that after 6.5 years, the sex is still great, and that's there is more to learn about and from each other's bodies

These last few months have been fun! The sex is less frequent than when we first met at age 17 but the sex is so much better than back then (:

To be fair I think the best thing you did was say

I'll make you cum if you make me cum

It gave him something to work towards, you were confident and so was he. Sometimes a little bit of communication can do a world of good.

I know whenever my last partner said anything remotely dirty or I got any sort of praise, it was like a light switch went on in my head and I re-doubled my efforts and it's been the best sex I've ever had.

When we first started dating we were doing things (oral/sex/heavy petting) probably 4 or 5 times a week. Now it's a few times a month. We both work long shifts (i work 10hr shifts and he works 12hr shifts) so we get tired. For the most part I am okay with this. I wouldn't mind if we had sex a little more often though.

Anybody else feel like this subreddit is fairly sexist

Anybody else feel like this subreddit is fairly sexist

There was a thread here once where people en masse tried to railroad a guy into getting pegged by his girlfriend when he had zero interest in it. "Just try it" and "Wouldn't she do something for you?" and basically "you owe her this". The people outraged by this, myself among them, were pretty heavily downvoted and attacked. Yes, the double standard exists, and it's disgusting.

Like in this subreddit it's all about women's rights and stuff and how you must respect them but nothing of the sort towards men.

That's a bold statement considering the fact that the second most upvoted thread of the week is about a bunch of girls refusing to accept a guys boundaries.

You do have a point though - this sub tends to be extremely circlejerk-y at times, and people here are wayyy too trigger happy with the "fuck them, break up!"-advice. I think it's because people are very sex positive here, and to them, everyone who isn't into group anal bukkake parties and/or doesn't masturbate at least eleven times a day is a stuck up square who doesn't deserve to be loved. It's pretty annoying at times tbh, but not sexist.

You haven't seen the latest threads from woman about their boyfriends watching porn haven't you? The woman there who were against porn (including op) were obliterated. People posted the exact same things just roles reversed, telling op she is insecure and not worthy of a relationship yadayada etc.

Think it's more confirmation bias on your part.

This goes hand in hand with the sexist assumption on here that all men want sex all the time

Being a male rape victim fucking sucks. And I must admit that every time I hear or see someone say/write about how much they are against rape, I feel anger because what they really mean is, "I'm against men raping women" [male rape victim venting]

Being a male rape victim fucking sucks. And I must admit that every time I hear or see someone say/write about how much they are against rape, I feel anger because what they really mean is, "I'm against men raping women" [male rape victim venting]

I'm so sorry this happened to you, it is 100% as horrible and traumatizing as a woman being raped. I don't know how this mindset exists either, but I'm sorry it does, and I'm sorry people are so shitty about it. Fire that therapist, she's an inconsiderate idiotic asshole.

I'm glad you decided to vent here, it's helpful in the healing process to be heard. I suggest though, that you also find a new therapist who is actually professional and can help you better than anyone online can (although we will always be here to listen!).

You WILL get through this, you are strong and brave! Just give yourself time, and don't criticize yourself if you don't think you're healing at the "right pace." God luck to you!

I don't know how this mindset exists either, but I'm sorry it does

I think most people know why this mindset exists. It's the same reason white people won't be recognized as the victim of a hate crime. It's not politically or socially graceful to talk about. Because nobody can do it tactfully enough, it gets ignored. Risk versus reward, socially speaking.

It's an awful facet of reality.

Edit: Downvotes prove my point. I'm not defending any of the above, just observing why it exists.

As a man that was raped by two women at a highschool party, I never really told anyone except those that were there that night. Not until the last 2 years(happened 10 years ago).

Occasionally I would get "didn't you have sex with (so-and-so)?" To which I'd have to explain that I was drunk, told them "NO!" multiple times, and that I couldn't protect myself. This is ALWAYS met with "I'm sure..." And "I don't believe you can be raped, as a man" and "well you had to be aroused, because it was hard..."

I've been laughed at, I've been humiliated, I've been made fun of because I "believe" I was "taken advantage of".

I had two male bosses who aggressively groped and assaulted me after work on four separate occasions. Sometimes together sometimes separately. They had a bet to see who could turn straight new employees first.

I told the story one time (as in I only had the courage to talk about it one time) and was yelled at because I had used the word "gay" to describe them. They were both out gay men, but I was scolded and told that sexual assault is about power and not about sex, and me identifying them as gay in the story made me a homophobe who doesn't understand sexual assault.

I haven't told anyone since because now I'm worried I'll be told I'm both responsible and homophobic.

Edit: I want to clarify that it wasn't a "bet" for money, but actually more of a friendly competition between the two. People in the office talked about it pretty openly when they weren't around, but it's hard to find reasons not to be alone with your boss, especially when you're as desperate for the job opportunity as I was.

I've been accused retroactively of [abusing] one of my sexual partners from high school. I'm baffled and need help understanding.

I've been accused retroactively of [abusing] one of my sexual partners from high school. I'm baffled and need help understanding.

[deleted]

I've been accused retroactively of [abusing] one of my sexual partners from high school. I'm baffled and need help understanding.

Hi all. This is a tough one to write out, so I'll just jump straight into it.

About two weeks ago, one of my friends from middle/high school got in touch with me - and it wasn't for a pleasant catch-up. The long and short of it is that she accused me of 'molesting and sexually abusing' her when we were young teens. She was really acrimonious and I was so flabbergasted that I haven't actually responded to any of it.

We were fairly early sources of experimentation with each other. We'd known each other through my little brother for some time, and when we got to 'that age', we'd started talking about fooling around and discovered that we were both interested. We were two years apart, and it started when she was 12 and I was 14 - mostly mutual touching and making out. About a year later we ended up having sex - it wasn't terribly majestic and we were sort of confused by it, but it happened. Everything seemed totally normal and uncontroversial - nothing that other people in our peer groups weren't doing or trying to do to different degrees.

Without any real intervention or catalyst, we started to go our separate ways and really hadn't been in contact since then (this was 12-13 years ago).

There is genuinely no more to the story than that. Something has happened in the time since we were sexual partners that convinced her in hindsight that I was a malicious force that was harmful to her - I cannot stress enough that there were absolutely no indications that anything was wrong at the time. We communicated very clearly about the things we wanted to do and, on more than one occasion, had explicit boundaries that we both respected without any issue.

What's more bizarre is that piled in with the accusations of abuse were more concrete things that absolutely 100% never happened. She said that I'd "started molesting her when she was 7" - this simply didn't happen. I didn't know she existed then. There were a few other things along these lines that, unless I had really bad brain damage I haven't been made aware of, never happened.

I don't understand why she'd accuse me of things that we both know were complete fabrications - it's one thing to start rumors and tell fibs to her friends, but...leveling them at me, specifically, when I was there and conscious the whole time and have very good recall just seems totally inexplicable and generates even more confusion for me.

It's gutting me - we were never really that close, but she was a meaningful part of my past and I'm just mortified. I'm a husband and a father of a 3 year old boy and a 9 month old girl. I'm completely nonviolent and I cry unabashedly at dog movies. To be accused of sexual assault is not something I'm equipped or prepared to handle.

Does anyone have any insight as to what might have happened here? I'm trying to work myself into talking to her again, but she seems really on edge and extremely vitriolic and I'm afraid of making things worse.

Block her on all social media. Crank down any privacy issues. Do not apologize or admit to any guilt. Statute of limitations on assault of minors varies, and you don't want to be sued or charged. Likely you would get off, but defense attorney fees would be unpleasant.

This woman has some serious issues, and I doubt you were the cause of them. Get her out of your life immediately.

There might have been another person that was abusing her, sometimes childhood memories can get mixed together. Maybe she's in a therapy with a less-than-reputable therapist? There have been cases of false memories that started as suggestions by a therapist...

Full block. Talk to your wife. Consider a lawyer.

Lives have been destoyed by less.

Sexual achievement: I treated my girlfriend and I to a session with a female sex worker and it was amazing

Sexual achievement: I treated my girlfriend and I to a session with a female sex worker and it was amazing

Dude, good for you and your gal, this is awesome!

I’ve always kinda felt bad about this, because I wouldn’t want her to feel like I’m “taking advantage” of her bisexuality to be with 2 girls at once

Should I feel bad if I “take advantage” of my wife's heterosexuality to be with 1 girl at once?

I was a bit nervous and felt bad for going to what was basically a prostitute

"Basically" a prostitute? Was she other than a regular prostitute? But there's no reason to feel bad about it. You don't feel bad for the dentist when you use his services.

I can’t believe how wrong my ex was.

Been there. The difference between a sex-negative partner and a sex-positive is so extreme that ordinary metaphors of opposition like "night and day" seem too weak.

I’ve always kinda felt bad about this, because I wouldn’t want her to feel like I’m “taking advantage” of her bisexuality to be with 2 girls at once

Should I feel bad if I “take advantage” of my wife's heterosexuality to be with 1 girl at once?

I’m not sure I explained what I meant properly. I mean, yeah of course like most guys (I guess), being with two girls is a turn on for me. But her bisexuality is her thing, I wouldn’t want her to feel “forced” to have me be there the day she’s with a girl. I dunno. I’ve had trouble separating bisexuality & monogamy in the past. And I’m also a chronic over-thinker. The facts are that she wanted me to be there, I was happy, she was happy and it was great :)

I was a bit nervous and felt bad for going to what was basically a prostitute

"Basically" a prostitute? Was she other than a regular prostitute? But there's no reason to feel bad about it. You don't feel bad for the dentist when you use his services.

Well, you’re right haha I thought someone would comment on that. To be honest, I wasn’t expecting a service as good as we got. It’s a “massage parlour” so I knew it would have been somewhat sexual, but I never thought it would be this good. Last time I had gone to a massage parlour (a long time ago and alone), it was nothing more than a sensual massage + handjob. So yeah, when I walked into the place last week I wouldn’t have called them prostitutes. Now that I think about it... I guess they are.

Also I guess I just felt stigma around the concept of prostitution. Like you said there’s no reason to feel bad, the girl was doing it because it’s her job.

I can’t believe how wrong my ex was.

Been there. The difference between a sex-negative partner and a sex-positive is so extreme that ordinary metaphors of opposition like "night and day" seem too weak.

Exactly!! This entire post is kind of written to prove this point. I’ve gone from “stop craving sex every week you lunatic pervert maniac” to “YEA let’s go see a prostitute and I’ll enjoy watching her touch you”. The difference is extreme like you said.

Thanks!

I see. I was confused by the 'having trouble' aspect of the comment. Makes total sense from an attempt at understanding your partner.

Maybe I'm old fashioned

Maybe I'm old fashioned

I watch all sorts of porn, but I find it difficult to get into it now because almost every woman is shaved. I guess hair or "bush" isn't for everyone, but I like it, absolutely love it. I love the feel of it and the taste. I like how the hair encapsulates the smell of the pussy. Whether it is trimmed neatly or full, or even full on bush, pussy hair is where it is at. Maybe I'm old fashioned.

As a girl with a huge bush , thank you :) Looking at "vintage" categories will usually get plenty of bush but you have to put up with lots of mustaches lol

I used to shave, that stopped when I met my husband, we’re in our mid 30s- not teenagers and not old fashioned, just hairy. Early on when we were dating he told me “if it’s all the same to you, I want you to grow it out.” So I do.

I’ll still shave my pits/legs/bikini in the summer for sleeveless/skirts/bathing suits because that’s society... but in the winter not so much, I can be darn hairy, but it’s strawberry blonde so whatever. I may trim a little, but he likes a hairy woman which is fine by me. Different preferences for different people.

All the crying and whimpering is kinda weird, tbh.

Also, good on you ma'am for embracing your "huge bush".

Try one of these subthreads