relationships

Me (41M) and my wife (40F) have taken in her drug addict, prostitute brother (31M) as he recovers. We just found out that he had a customer (a john) over while we were away and our kids (5M and 10F) were home. My wife still does not want to kick him out.

Me (41M) and my wife (40F) have taken in her drug addict, prostitute brother (31M) as he recovers. We just found out that he had a customer (a john) over while we were away and our kids (5M and 10F) were home. My wife still does not want to kick him out.

(Update) I (20 M) can't say "I love you" to my girlfriend (20 F) of one year, even though I care about her deeply.

(Update) I (20 M) can't say "I love you" to my girlfriend (20 F) of one year, even though I care about her deeply.

Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/sub/relationships/comments/7qwudk/i_20_m_cant_say_i_love_you_to_my_girlfri...

A lot of good suggestions were made in my previous post. I didn't think I was going to be capable of saying it to her in person without the help of a therapist, so I decided to write a love letter. I remembered my girlfriend saying early on in our relationship that she'd love it if I wrote her one. I spent a few hours on it. I was afraid she wouldn't like it, but I still gave it to her when she came home - she loved it.

My girlfriend teared up after reading it. She told me that my letter was the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever given her. She gave me a hug and said "I love you". I don't know what happened - but I felt an urge that overpowered my fear of saying it back to her. I told her that I loved her. My girlfriend was surprised, and said this was the happiest moment of her life. We spent the next hour cuddling and telling each other how in love we were. It was a beautiful experience being verbally affectionate with my girlfriend.

It's been nearly two days since I gave her the letter. I'm comfortable enough to say that I love her back every time she says it to me now. I still might go to a therapist to sort out any further issues that have been affecting me because of my rough childhood, but for now I'm happy. I can't imagine how heartbreaking it must've been for my girlfriend to not hear her boyfriend say "I love you" for a whole year. It might be a little silly that I couldn't say it to her, but at least I'm able to now. I love my girlfriend.

My letter:

Dear (girlfriend),

I've wanted to tell you this for ages, and I'm sorry that I've kept you waiting. I know how much those three words mean to you, but my childhood wasn't great. My parents didn't show me any affection, and as a result love is uncharted territory for me. I've never said it to anyone before, nor have I felt loved by anyone until I met you.

You mean more to me than anything in this world. Your happiness brings me so much joy in my life. I look forward to seeing you every morning. My life is made infinitely better because of you. Our time spent together is something I cherish dearly. I remember the first time you said you loved me. It made me so happy. That was the first time that anyone ever said "I love you" to me. I desperately wanted to say it back to you, but my fear of the unknown held me back.

I want to spend my every waking moment with you. A feeling of euphoria develops inside of me when we're with each other. I wish this letter could make up for all the times I should've been able to say it back to you. I'm extremely grateful and lucky to call you my girlfriend. You make me feel loved, and have given me the chance to love another person. I didn't know that was a possibility for me.

I love you.

tl;dr: I wrote a letter to her, and she loved it. The letter made me feel comfortable enough to say "I love you" to her in person. I'm able to say that I love her every day now.

I [26 M] went to dinner to meet my brother's new gf [35 m]. Turns out it is my ex wife [32 F].

I [26 M] went to dinner to meet my brother's new gf [35 m]. Turns out it is my ex wife [32 F].

Me [28F] with my neighbours [35F, 35M, 5M] Their son is incredibly close with my dog, we are moving and they are now asking to keep him.

Me [28F] with my neighbours [35F, 35M, 5M] Their son is incredibly close with my dog, we are moving and they are now asking to keep him.

I [21F] had an argument with my boyfriend [21M] on his birthday and I wished for his death. It's been a week since we last talked to each other. Is there any hope left in continuing our relationship?

I [21F] had an argument with my boyfriend [21M] on his birthday and I wished for his death. It's been a week since we last talked to each other. Is there any hope left in continuing our relationship?

I (38F) found out my husband (36M) texted his ex (32F) saying he would give up on me and our kids for her. They broke up because she is childfree.

I (38F) found out my husband (36M) texted his ex (32F) saying he would give up on me and our kids for her. They broke up because she is childfree.

[Update] I (28F) found condoms in my boyfriend's (32M) jacket, but we don't use condoms.

[Update] I (28F) found condoms in my boyfriend's (32M) jacket, but we don't use condoms.

Hi Reddit

So here’s my sad little update to this post. I asked my boyfriend why he had taken condoms away with him. He looked panicked and said What condoms, which then trickle-truthed into having forgotten about them/ he put them there ages ago/ he put them there to put them back/ he didn’t know they were there/ he’d taken them for his own use: ie, none of it made sense and he was clearly making it up as he was going along.

Anyway, I didn’t get a straight answer out of the conversation but thanks to those of you who told me to focus on his reaction because it basically proved to me that something was definitely up (like the condoms hadn’t already...)

So last night I looked at his phone and yup, you all said it, he had been messaging several women to hook up. He woke up and saw me looking at his phone and amazingly even tried to keep the story going even then (‘What messages? I didn’t send ANY messages. Ok just that one message. I SWEAR it was just one message… one day where I sent those messages… etc’).

Looking back on the first thread so many people were saying it was for hook ups or escorts and I feel like I didn’t even see those comments properly til today, it’s crazy what you don’t see until you’re forced to. :( Thanks to everyone who commented on the first post, you helped me feel like I wasn’t imagining stuff. I told him it's over, I'm just waiting for it to sink in for him that I'm not changing my mind and then he will have to move out.

tl;dr: OBVIOUSLY he was trying to cheat

My [18F] best friend [18F] is dating a man [25M] who is much older than her. I think she is being abused by him, but is too blinded by her love to see that, and I'm worried for her safety.

My [18F] best friend [18F] is dating a man [25M] who is much older than her. I think she is being abused by him, but is too blinded by her love to see that, and I'm worried for her safety.

My best friend Natalie (friends since grade 3) has been dating a man who is much older than her for the last 2 months. She calls him her boyfriend and is deeply in love with him. Her parents don’t know how old he is and they think that she’s been dating a boy her age. They’ve kept their relationship a secret and I’m one of the few people that know about it.

I was skeptical about this from the beginning. Why would a 25 year old man, who owns an apartment and has a full time job want to date a teenager? I’ve met him before, and he puts on a facade that he’s a charming and kind man. I know that’s not true.

I've noticed major behavioral changes coming from Natalie. We used to touch each other while talking. Light shoulder taps and the occasional hug. We don't do that anymore. Natalie says her boyfriend is uncomfortable with our friendship and asked her to stop doing that, but I'm not a lesbian and we’re just friends. Natalie’s boyfriend also tells her to keep her hair long and straight, even though she doesn’t like her hair done in that way. Natalie spends a lot of time keeping her boyfriend happy. He’s a very needy person. They have sex often, and I’m not sure if they’re using protection. I have overheard their arguments and Natalie is somehow always at fault and her boyfriend is never held responsible.

I've tried confronting her but she won't even listen to me, her best friend. She says I shouldn’t interfere with their relationship and that it’s “perfect”. Natalie’s love for him is making her blind from the abuse she's taking. This is her first relationship, so she doesn’t know what a healthy one looks like. Natalie has been talking about moving away with her boyfriend when she graduates high school. She is extremely excited about this. This sounds like a huge red flag to me. Her boyfriend wants to distance her away from her friends and family so she can't get help.

I want to help Natalie but I don't know how to get to her head. What do I do? Should I talk to her parents about this?

TL;DR: My best friend is dating a man who is 7 years older than her. He’s displayed manipulative behavior and is abusing her. I’ve tried helping my friend but she won’t listen to me. I’m concerned for her safety.

I [33F] caught my husband [31M] of two years cheating on me on his dashcam.

I [33F] caught my husband [31M] of two years cheating on me on his dashcam.

My [17/M] stepsister [19/F] has gotten very close to me recently. I’m not sure if this is normal for a sibling relationship.

My [17/M] stepsister [19/F] has gotten very close to me recently. I’m not sure if this is normal for a sibling relationship.

Try one of these subthreads