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MRW my new job allows me to claim back the cost of lunch as "Reasonable Expenses"

Daily trips to Flavortown!

I don't care what anyone says, I fucking love Guy Fieri. Fight me.

Not immediatley, once my initial 3 month trial period is over. Something like that, there's so much information to take in at the moment it's craaazzzy

So just to be clear; this means every time you go out for lunch, they'll pay you back? There's got to be limitations to this right?

MRW my comment hits 30 downvotes.

People tend to pile on downvotes if something already that low. They'll even expand it just to do it.

I was just going to say that. There tends to be some mob mentality when it comes to up / downvoting. Which is why hiding the score of things for "X" amount of time is definitely a good idea.

one time there was a video of a rapper (Afroman) cold cocking a drunk girl because she got up on stage and started dancing. So obviously all Neckbearders were defending Afroman saying he was justified! Keep in mind that Afroman later plead guilty to assault and is even being sued by her. I commented that it is never OK to drop a hay-maker on anyone, man/woman and was downvoted to the bottom of the hell.

Sometimes I think reddit is full of sexually frustrated, woman-hating morons.

i'm gonna help you man

MRW my girlfriend wants to watch to watch porn with me and I quickly blurt out too many options

wants to watch to watch

:(

And this is why I shouldn't title gifs before coffee

For real, this is the #1 reason why we haven't watched porn together. I mean, she'd be down for it, and she knows that I watch porn sometimes, but I still can't help but feel afraid that my... expertise might put her off. Not to mention that finding a suitable movie is a minefield on its own ("You're into THAT?!")...

--"Yeah"

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MRW my girlfriend broke up with me, took the house we bought together, my employer fired me because I couldn't keep it together at the office, I'm failing my post grad classes BUT I remembered that I only ate 5 of the 6 hotdogs I bought earlier today and still have one left

MRW my girlfriend broke up with me, took the house we bought together, my employer fired me because I couldn't keep it together at the office, I'm failing my post grad classes BUT I remembered that I only ate 5 of the 6 hotdogs I bought earlier today and still have one left
MRW my girlfriend broke up with me, took the house we bought together, my employer fired me because I couldn't keep it together at the office, I'm failing my post grad classes BUT I remembered that I only ate 5 of the 6 hotdogs I bought earlier today and still have one left

This is exactly what no one prepares you for before you finish high school. Relish that hot dog

You said gf so at least no lengthy divorce case. The hotdog thing is good, too.

Relish that hot dog

I see what you did there.

MRW I'm asked how I'm adjusting to prison

You can make memes and post to Reddit from prison?

Edit: The responses in this thread imply that one can get a phone in prison and, by extension, post to Reddit. So, prisoners on Reddit-- please make a post with proof you are currently in prison. I thank you in advance for your contributions to science.

My boyfriend is a prison guard and said lots of prisoners have phones so I wouldn't doubt it.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/J8-World-Smallest-Mobile-Phone/dp/604016994X/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top...

This phone was purposefully designed so it could be snuck into prison in an anal cavity... Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "booty call".

MRW my religious mom tells me I'm going to hell for not being religious

I know an atheist who is now completely ostracised from his family because he did nothing but disparage their beliefs 24/7. It is a huge bummer for him. I, on the other hand, still have a great relationship with my family because I still treat them with respect even though I don't agree with them.

Sounds like you're between a Rock and a hot place.

To be fair, if he's disparaging their beliefs I don't know why he's bummed out they don't like him. If he's just trying to avoid the whole topic and they hate him for it, that's a reason to be bummed out, but if you are actively against that, it's pretty fair to assume no-one's going to take that well.

The exact reason why I haven't told my family that I'm not religious. I'm gonna have to at least wait til my grandmother passes away. I don't think she could handle that.

MRW I hear /sub/The_Donald has gone private in protest of finally being held accountable

MRW I hear /r/The_Donald has gone private in protest of finally being held accountable

I like how they went silent as a form of protest. This is what we want though. They're giving us what we want, silence.

It's like when a kid says to their parents, "I'm never speaking to you again" and runs to their room and slams the door.

Their parents roll their eyes and say, "I guess we'll be having some peace and quiet then".

They're a joke.

"I conceal carry and would love to show someone my skills." Watch out everyone, we've got a badass over here.

They're high-fiving themselves on Voat, claiming that Reddit's gonna die because of the drop in traffic this will cause. It's adorable.

Meltdown Day 1
http://i.imgur.com/tMDuPGB.png

http://i.imgur.com/C8SLZvh.png

http://i.imgur.com/GPkKtfO.jpg

Meltdown Day 2

http://i.imgur.com/zNPwq2G.png

Random snapshot of r/all/rising: http://i.imgur.com/pQzhWzB.png

Meltdown Day 1

http://i.imgur.com/C8SLZvh.png

http://i.imgur.com/GPkKtfO.jpg

Meltdown Day 2

http://i.imgur.com/zNPwq2G.png

Random snapshot of r/all/rising: http://i.imgur.com/pQzhWzB.png

MRW customer want to report a complaint and I am taking notes

Currently rewatching Gravity Falls and mourning its too short time in this world. Such a great show.

At least it got an actual ending and maintained quality throughout. Not all shows get that.

"See you next summer"

WHEN

On one angle he's left handed, on another right handed. Y tho.

MRW it's been a day since t_d threatened to leave reddit

They left Reddit the day I filtered them outta my front page lol.

"I never said that, and you're an idiot for taking it literally"

"But we never said that!"

"I can cite you saying that."

"Well yeah, but it was a joke lmao"

Reddit is so much better when you block all the trump and anti trump subs. Sure you still get bits of it in other subs but i can't imagine using Reddit without the Donald and enough trump spam blocked

MRW my gf asks what happened to the cookies she left out to cool

"And not just the chocolate. But the peanut butter, and the oatmeal raisin. I devoured them! I devoured them like an animal!"

Anakin contemplates taking a bite out of the last cookie or saving it for his girlfriend.

Palpatine, commandingly: "Chew it."

But not the sugar cookies... Because they're coarse and grainy and they get everywhere.

Gf: It's treason then.

Try one of these subthreads