Pokemongo pokemongo

On BBC news website today. Icy Mega Kamex?

On BBC news website today. Icy Mega Kamex?

Kamex is the Japanese name for Blastoise. They only got the mega part wrong.

For 90 glorious minutes I experienced what Pokemon GO is like unencumbered by responsibilities.

For 90 glorious minutes I experienced what Pokemon GO is like unencumbered by responsibilities.

The wife and I went on a weekend trip while my parents kept the kid. I had booked the wife a 90 minute spa treatment and while she was being treated like a queen I popped an incense - and walked. And walked. And walked.

Now usually, my gym experience is relegated to hoping for open spots in gyms near stop lights. If I do train, I'm on the way to or from an errand. In which case I'm a sweaty mess because I'm in a hurry and usually just end up leaving after a few minutes.

But this weekend, I was able to train 2 gyms - one while sitting on a bench, and one while sitting on the front steps of a church. I filled up my bag at the numerous pokestops and just generally had an excellent time.

Not much of a point to this story except that when you can slow down and enjoy the game, warts and all, it really shines.

1 wife, 1 kid. Took this guy 6 months to get 90 minutes of alone time. Warning Heeded.

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Why Niantics revenue has finally struck a nerve and made my head explode.

Why Niantics revenue has finally struck a nerve and made my head explode.

I'm a day one player. I play frequently but not much per day, and I'm either level 26 or a half loaded turquoise circle, normally the latter. I'm not a fanboy, Niantic has always been regarded in my household as a bit ridiculous but the game is decent and me and my fiancée and best mate play it religiously.

Niantic gained $950m in revenue. Post-Brexit, in pound coins which is a currency I understand that's £58 billion. I'm now beyond an explanation as to where that money is going.

John Hanke could release a million dollar update a day and still have enough money to buy his whole neighborhood a sports car and a house. Instead we wait a month for a GPS fix. Did he buy us each our own satellite?

Here's what 950 million got us in six months.

4 or 5 new phone sized wallpapers. 1 ass reduction. 1 pokemon to not be in a list of 300 and be on a different corner of the screen earning candy. 1 small shoe inexplicably above an egg. 1 slightly shorter evolution screen. 2,800 ghastly for a week. 2 weeks of spending money on a gift-wrapped bunch of already available items. 5 warnings to tell me not to play whilst commanding a tank or zip wiring down an electric pylon. -3 footsteps. Triggered. 13,000 miles to drink liquefied sugar for £27 a cup in Starbucks. 7 new copy and pasted sprites from a gameboy game. -12 piles of leaves springing up in no relation to anything. 6 announcement notifications 3 days into an event. Purple bars instead of blue just to mess with the colour blind. The list goes on. Or rather it doesn't because you get the idea.

Why did Pokemon Blue, a game consisting of 17 pixels, 4 colours and the memory size of an electric toothbrush have more items, more depth, more interactivity? Why can one man developers create apps to communicate, track and display Pokemon with a better interface and more updates? Why is there not a simple spoofer banning system in place? Why is the battling system just MORE CP IS GOOD with no diversity for move types and Pokemon types?

It's 2017 and my giant fish can bite a ghost to death.

I'm not suddenly against Niantic, I've never been with them but they've created the game that's made me very happy and allowed me and my partner to go exploring, but it seems a tad bizarre that this money pot of a game is so far behind on so many levels. Right now I can open the game and see a sea of green, a few tiny sprites in a corner and nothing else. Menus are bland, depth is non existent, and I can catch a Karp at a beach and it'll load the same background as catching a fifty foot rock snake.

Except I can't load the game and see that, because it's normally Niantic balloon, fireworks, turquoise half loaded blobs and nothing more.

Edit: I realise the post-brexit joke doesn't work for those outside the UK. Our pound to dollar conversion is at an all time low so I'm merely mocking our awful economy. I know it's not going to be billions.

Edit 2: Cheers for gold!

I agree 100%! I was just talking to my buddy about this and how Pokémon GO could have been one of the most game changing apps ever released, instead it has been squandered and almost feels abandoned by any true developers.

[Idea] Incense should be like Pokemon booster packs; you get a bunch of commons, but at least one rare

[Idea] Incense should be like Pokemon booster packs; you get a bunch of commons, but at least one rare

I imagine every 'mon having a point value. Every lure/incense is worth x-amount of points. Say, 30 points. A Pidgey or a Ratatta is worth one point. A Snorlax or a Dragonite might be worth 25 points. A charmander, maybe five points. Jynx, say, 15.

You pop a lure or an incense and the server calculates what will spawn worth 30 points. It could be 30 Pidgey. It could be one Snorlax and five Ratatta. Or a Snorlax and a charmander. A Jynx, a Charmander, five Pidgey and five Ratatta.

Obviously, the amount of points everything is worth would need to be carefully balanced... but this would probably be a better idea than a guaranteed rare.

Anyone else hoarding an unhealthy amount of candy for anything?

Anyone else hoarding an unhealthy amount of candy for anything?

I thought I was doing well with 250 and some change

 

Edit: my upvote record for comments is surpassed tenfold by a throwaway sentence on eevee candy?!? (Currently 1153 updoots)

Redditors, I don't understand you.

Edit2: should I punish you with the equivalent of a sleezy Imgur front page edit?

 

Edit3: To heck with it, this comment doesn't deserve that many upvotes. Have a look at my More Extra Stuff-serie. Those are posts I actually put some effort in.

The posts contain concepts for new features, items, story lines that imho would make P-GO more entertaining.

More Extra Stuff gets posted every Thursday.

Everyone knows Charizard and Jesus got beef

Everyone knows Charizard and Jesus got beef

Looks more like a liability warning. Since you would be liable for an injury on your property. Probably from an injury that already occurred

I think the Valentine's Day event has arrived early

I think the Valentine's Day event has arrived early

They're actually celebrating last years Valentines Day. They're just slow on the uptake.

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