Nottheonion nottheonion

THOUSANDS of red Skittles spill onto Dodge County highway

THOUSANDS of red Skittles spill onto Dodge County highway
THOUSANDS of red Skittles spill onto Dodge County highway

Sheriff’s officials said it has been reported that the Skittles were intended to be feed for cattle, as they did not make the cut for packaging at the company.

Goddamnit America. You want to give your food diabetes before you even eat it?

'Jerry Maguire' video store opens in Echo Park

'Jerry Maguire' video store opens in Echo Park
'Jerry Maguire' video store opens in Echo Park

I wonder if Tom Cruise has enough of a sense of humor to visit this place unannounced.

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This Republican politician allegedly told a woman 'I no longer have to be PC' before grabbing her crotch

This Republican politician allegedly told a woman 'I no longer have to be PC' before grabbing her crotch
This Republican politician allegedly told a woman 'I no longer have to be PC' before grabbing her...

I would like to point out, there was video security footage of the incident, a witness who saw it happen and an admission of guilt to authorities by the perpetrator.

It won't stop people from denying it ever happened, but I thought I would point that out.

NBA will consider shortening games due to millennial attention spans

NBA will consider shortening games due to millennial attention spans
NBA will consider shortening games due to millennial attention spans

just make it 1 min of basketball with 47 min of commercials

The endless commercialization of American sports is their biggest turnoff IMO, I can go watch premier league or rugby league, NRL and it's uninterrupted by commercial breaks whereas the NBA seems like endless commercials.

(I really struck a chord here)

Explorers find disease-cursed City of the Monkey God and nearly lose their faces to flesh-eating parasite

Explorers find disease-cursed City of the Monkey God and nearly lose their faces to flesh-eating parasite
“The parasite migrates to the mucous membranes of your mouth and your nose and basically eats them away,” Doug Preston, an author who documented the trip, said. “Your nose falls off, your lips fall off, and eventually your face becomes a gigantic, open sore.”

....Damn nature, you scary

Bernie Madoff is cornering the prison market on Swiss Miss hot chocolate

Bernie Madoff is cornering the prison market on Swiss Miss hot chocolate
Bernie Madoff is cornering the prison market on Swiss Miss hot chocolate

IRL convict here that spent time at FCI Butner with Madoff. There are several things to point out here:

1) The prison commissary has limits on the amount of particular items you can buy unless they're trying to sell out of something because a supplier stopped carrying it or it's an item that rotates out occasionally. Madoff can only spend $270 /month at the commissary. He has a card, linked to his ID number, that debits money from his prison account, he doesn't get cash.

2) Buying items at the commissary and then reselling them at a markup is a common practice. It's called "running a store". Not everyone has the outside support or a good prison job to buy stuff on commissary. So if you got a hankering for some Ramen and Mackerel what do you do? You hustle up some stamps. Prison economy is run on the currency of "stamps". Literally US First Class postage stamps. A book (20 stamps) is worth $7.00 in prison to other prisoners. You can buy and sell goods and services with other inmates based on this. Want a nice hand drawn card for your mom for mother's day? Someone will draw one up for 10 stamps. He can then use those stamps to go buy some Raman from the "store man". Markup is usually 50%, or called 2 for 3 (you get 2, you pay back 3).

3) Madoff could hoard all the hot chocolate he wants but realistically he wouldn't make much money off of it anyway. Demand for Swiss Miss packs isn't ravenous in jail and, just like out here, you can out price yourself out of the market.

I know the guy is a scumbag and deserves to probably be in a lot worse place than he is. The Butner prisons are pretty relaxed, as is the case with most federal pens. Madoff stories are just a grab for readers who like to know if he's got beaten up or shanked. I can tell you this, Madoff is just another old white guy in a tan shirt and pants with a white name tag in a sea of sameness. For those of you that like to see justice take solace in this; the tame prisons are the ones where the loneliness and despair weigh the most. When you don't have to worry about other people and getting stabbed, all you're left with is yourself, by yourself. Bernie Madoff has that to look forward to for the rest of his life.

Try one of these subthreads

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