Nottheonion nottheonion

Nigerians boycott Coca-Cola drinks after court rules them 'poisonous'

Nigerians boycott Coca-Cola drinks after court rules them 'poisonous'

I mean...they're not wrong

Edit to thank whoever gave me gold, it's completely unexpected and much appreciated. Also the first time it's happened to me, so that's pretty awesome.

The CIA will replace your government shortly.

They should just stick to Wolf Cola. The finest of soft drinks.

As someone who LOVES Coca-Cola, can blind taste test the difference between 20oz, can, glass, mexican, and corn syrup vs sucrose (corn syrup is smoother, doesn't stick to your tongue as much and feels less acidic), this is a proper response. Shit is bad for you, kidney stones are the antithesis of a good time.

EMTs, firefighters need guns, Texas lawmakers say

EMTs, firefighters need guns, Texas lawmakers say
EMTs, firefighters need guns, Texas lawmakers say

Incase they get into a firefight

My Dad worked as an inner city medic for half his life. Got shot at no less than 20 times. Held hostage 4 times. This isn't as crazy of an idea as it sounds.

EDIT: Just a clarification based on some comments below: His career began in the early 80's. EMS as a standalone service was in it's infancy, so a lot of the protocols and procedures that are being discussed, did not exist then. No body armor, for example. Words like "Active Shooter Situation" hadn't even been used together in a sentence yet.

Also....shot AT. Not "SHOT". Big big difference. This includes people popping at the ambulance as it drove through a neighborhood, gang gunfights breaking out during a response and his crew having to retreat to the truck, and things like domestic perps unloading at the ambulance as it pull up, pissed because their beat-up girlfriend called for help.

Texas is like the America of America.

As a first responder the first rule is "scene size up, don't create more patients". Is the scene safe to enter? You can't provide care if you're dead.

Personally (as a veteran and gun owner) I wouldn't carry a firearm on duty. In a practical sense, you're working: you have gear everywhere, you're humping a litter or clipped onto a chopper, or freezing on some ledge mid-winter looking for a lost skier.

The amount of times a firearm would fuck me up is way higher than the times it would help.

Also, I want a patient to trust me. If they did drugs or broke some other rules, I really don't care: I'm a medical provider. I already have to wear a badge (we roll under the sheriff's office) that I cover under my jacket, I don't want a gun sticking out.

It's like having a big red cross on a building. No violence there, it's supposed to be sacred. Does it always work that way? No, but it generally has for thousands of years. When you start having medical providers as quasi peace officers, shit's going sideways.

Also, cops make shitty medics. Medics make shitty cops. And fireman should stick to extraction / fire fighting.

2 teen girls shot as Birmingham water balloon fight turns into gun fight at Senior Skip Day

2 teen girls shot as Birmingham water balloon fight turns into gun fight at Senior Skip Day
2 teen girls shot as Birmingham water balloon fight turns into gun fight at Senior Skip Day

Another car that was struck left the scene and is at the hospital.

Glad to see the car is doing fine.

I was like "What the fuck, in Birmingham? Seriously? It's such a moderately decent city, I'd never expect that!" and then I noticed that it's in Alabama, not the UK.

Carry on then, business as usual.

...the hell was a 20 year old doing at a high school's Senior Skip Day? Seems to be just who you'd expect to open fire for someone getting egg on your Tahoe WHILE YOU'RE ATTENDING A WATER BALLOON FIGHT FOR HIGH SCHOOLERS.

Took a couple transfusions of 10W-30 and now it's in idle condition.

Advertisement

Porn movie streamed through municipality loudspeaker in Turkey’s north

Porn movie streamed through municipality loudspeaker in Turkey’s north

Cant wait to see the "TIFU in northern Turkey" post

Is that...... is that Backdoor Sluts 9??

Some social media users, however, speculated that municipality workers forgot to turn off the announcement system of the loudspeaker while watching a porn movie.

Ah, that old chestnut.

Certainly on purpose. I come from a small religious village and on christmas the church would set up speakers that reached pretty much all the village and would play religious music on ocasions. A guy menaged to switch the cd to one he burnt with metal offensive music. Most memorable track was one where the singer basiclly said "kill you father, kill your mother!" through the whole song.

Teen Attempts To Kill Girl For Sending Too Many Snapchats

Teen Attempts To Kill Girl For Sending Too Many Snapchats
Teen Attempts To Kill Girl For Sending Too Many Snapchats

Pretty sure the app has like a hide button somewhere for this kind of things.

Too much of a hassle. Better kill that person.

story is interesting but the website link is horrible

It's pure trash, and since when do comments from other users on other sites count as news?

Police called to South Euclid Taco Bell due to dispute over 'Fire' or 'Mild' sauce

Police called to South Euclid Taco Bell due to dispute over 'Fire' or 'Mild' sauce
Police called to South Euclid Taco Bell due to dispute over 'Fire' or 'Mild' sauce

Every Taco Bell I've ever been to gives a plethora of the sauce I ask for. I have a drawer full of the extras they give me, waiting to be used in the event of a crisis situation such as this.

(I also have a jar of their verde sauce that I bought when they discontinued it in the individual packets.)

For me they either put way too many sauce packets in or none at all. Getting asked 3 times what kind of sauce I want and then finding out I didn't get any after I pulled away.

This is a result of Verde being unavailable. They knew a world without Verde would be chaos and the jerks removed it anyway.

I guess you could say she was mildly infuriated...

Tillerson: 'I didn't want this job ... My wife told me I'm supposed to do this'

Tillerson: 'I didn't want this job ... My wife told me I'm supposed to do this'
Tillerson: 'I didn't want this job ... My wife told me I'm supposed to do this'

"I have to be here for a year to get benefits, right?"

I was supposed to go to the ranch to be with the grandkids.

That's actually kind of sad.

"I told you God's not through with you."

The fucking ego in this statement. And as if all he has done has been 'good' or divinely mandated.

I was in a terrible car wreck when I was a kid (12) and it killed my best friends mother. It was a pretty bad wreck involving 5 vehicles one being an 18-wheeler. Well my mother and a lot of others would tell me growing up that I was spared for a reason and that I was supposed to do great wondrous things and essentially what Tillerson quoted his wife as saying.

I can not put into words how much being told that over and over growing up can really fuck with you.

Edit* I want to thank everyone, for the show of support. You're all awesome people and you all made me pretty happy today.

FBI director James Comey admits under oath that he hates the Patriots

FBI director James Comey admits under oath that he hates the Patriots
FBI director James Comey admits under oath that he hates the Patriots

“I hate the New England Patriots,” Comey said. “No matter who they play, I’d like them to lose. And I’m at the same time rooting against the Patriots and hoping their opponent beat them because there’s only two teams on the field.”

“By the way if I’m honest with myself the reason I don’t like the Patriots is they represent sustained excellence, and as a Giants fan that drives me crazy,” said Comey, whose comment was greeted by chuckles from the committee.

Because the Patriots have better surveillance equipment than the FBI

His actual statement was funny

Only a Giants fan could destroy the only perfect season in the 17-week era and still not be satisfied.

Firefox gets complaint for labeling unencrypted login page insecure

Firefox gets complaint for labeling unencrypted login page insecure

"Your notice of insecure password and/or log-in automatically appearing on the log-in for my website, Oil and Gas International, is not wanted and was put there without our permission," a person with the user name dgeorge wrote here. "Please remove it immediately. We have our own security system, and it has never been breached in more than 15 years. Your notice is causing concern by our subscribers and is detrimental to our business."

That is quite the "security system" they have in place...

Their database is now secure. Since the login form is vulnerable to SQL injection, someone dropped the OGIUser table, meaning that nobody can steal those passwords anymore.

Yep. This site has the whole package: unhashed passwords, unencrypted login and payment pages, SQL vulnerabilities everywhere, source code leaking on exceptions, and they're even exporting SMB shares on the internet. To top it all off they're incredibly arrogant about it. It's like a textbook example of an insecure website.

A case of "sorry to be a dick, but this is for you own damn good."

Rock Hill man used toy light saber for protection in knife fight, police say

Rock Hill man used toy light saber for protection in knife fight, police say
Rock Hill man used toy light saber for protection in knife fight, police say

The headline should be:

Rock Hill man Successfully used toy light saber for protection in knife fight, police say

Well, I mean it worked. I'm impressed.

Try one of these subthreads