nottheonion

Australian politician who was against same sex marriage because of "The sanctity of marriage" ended his own marriage of twenty five years this week because his secretary is pregnant with his baby.

Australian politician who was against same sex marriage because of "The sanctity of marriage" ended his own marriage of twenty five years this week because his secretary is pregnant with his baby.
Australian politician who was against same sex marriage because of "The sanctity of marriage" end...

Well maybe if the gays didn't marry he wouldn't have ruined his own marriage

It's okay, I'm from the US. We take embarrassing politicians to a whole new level.

Those who try hardest to claim the moral high ground often prove that they actually have low morals

Exactly. Every gay marriage widdles away at the sanctity of marriage and causes legitimate marriages like this one to fall apart. If it weren't for the gays that secretary wouldn't be pregnant.

Trump calls Dems who didn't clap during State of the Union 'treasonous' and 'un-American'

Trump calls Dems who didn't clap during State of the Union 'treasonous' and 'un-American'

While not treasonous, the republicans didn't clap for Obama either. Washington warned us about a two party system..now here we are

And here I am thinking that dissent for authority was an American pastime. Guess I was wrong, sorry King George!

"To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public."

-Theodore Roosevelt

Senator Duckworth had the best response: http://thehill.com/homenews/senate/372452-duckworth-fires-back-at-trump-i-swore-an-oath-to-the-co...

Some people question the sex dolls' ability to raise children.

Some people question the sex dolls' ability to raise children.
Some people question the sex dolls' ability to raise children.

Some questioned the ability of sex dolls to bear children, support the man and the home emotionally and do the house chores.

Okay... I guess.. there may be some.. questions... about how well sex dolls will bear children...

Life, uh, finds a way.

Should we tell them that Rick and Morty is a cartoon not a documentary?

sex doll + roomba + TV.

the perfect wife and mother

Chemical in McDonald's fries may hold the key to curing baldness, study says

Chemical in McDonald's fries may hold the key to curing baldness, study says
Chemical in McDonald's fries may hold the key to curing baldness, study says

My brother is thin and balding. I'm a big, fat McDonald's boy, and I have a full head of hair. This all checks out.

But won't bald people get burned when they dip their heads in the deep fryer?

Can confirm, I'm in my mid-20's and thinning, rarely get anywhere near McDonald's. My brother is older with a full head of hair and devours McDonald's on the regular.

Pack it in boys, two instances of anecdotal evidence are all I need to be convinced it's fact.

Not like that. You dump the fries into a shower cap and put it on before you sleep.

Paul Ryan Deletes Tweet Boasting $1.50 Pay Increase For Secretary After Tax Bill

Paul Ryan Deletes Tweet Boasting $1.50 Pay Increase For Secretary After Tax Bill
Paul Ryan Deletes Tweet Boasting $1.50 Pay Increase For Secretary After Tax Bill

A WEEK. Not an hour. A WEEK.

He might give her a shiny new quarter for this years Christmas Bonus.

Now that is really stretching out trickle-down economics.

Hey that's $6 a* month. Nearly paying for her Netflix subscription.

Dog approved for unemployment benefits of $360 a week

Dog approved for unemployment benefits of $360 a week
Dog approved for unemployment benefits of $360 a week

Well, are you a good boy?

Jesus, I just barely make half that!!

His names Frank Gallagher...

Totally a tangent, but I don't like how the show basically didn't end when he got a new liver. I'm glad bc it's a good show, but you can't do like any of the shit he does with a donor liver...

Loaded Grenade Launcher Found in Goodwill Donations Pile

Loaded Grenade Launcher Found in Goodwill Donations Pile

Terrible. Obviously that should have gone to the Salvation Army.

not everyone was 10th prestige golden gun at cod 4 u know

Filthy casuals

Of course its florida

Elon Musk sells $3.5m worth of flamethrowers in a day

Elon Musk sells $3.5m worth of flamethrowers in a day

It looks cool and all but its more like a massive blowtorch than a flame thrower. Still cool.

No, real flamethrowers don't just shoot flames, they shoot burning liquid, like gasoline or napalm. They're like badass supersoakers, not giant lighters.

His business is on fire

Imperial Japanese soldiers in hardened bunkers hate them!

Elon Musk’s Boring Company sold $3.5 million worth of flamethrowers

Elon Musk’s Boring Company sold $3.5 million worth of flamethrowers
Elon Musk’s Boring Company sold $3.5 million worth of flamethrowers

Elon Musk is the mad scientist supervillain I never knew I wanted.

Next month's news: Elon Musk starting a genetic bioengineering company

Next year's news: Elon Musk developed a new species at his XBio company, and is selling it as pets

"Buy an overpriced Boring Company fire extinguisher! You can definitely buy one for less elsewhere, but this one comes with a cool sticker and the button is conveniently riiight above." from their website.

If this were anyone else I'd say it's a complete scam but I can't see Elon doing that to his reputation.

Try one of these subthreads