What counts as humorous? Is it only humorous if you have to call an ambulance?
I think it counts if you break your upper arm.
It's funny cause the upper arm is the humerus
If it's stopped, it will only be right once a day.
The opening line of Nineteen Eighty-four is "It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.”
That's the kind of lateral thinking we're looking for. You're hired!
There are two interpretations that I heard of this one. The first one is the 24-hour clock, and the second one is that the clocks were striking thirteen because big brother told them that it is, even though that there is no 13:00 on a 12-hour civilian clock. Orwell supposedly referenced it from a book where "the clocks are striking thirteen" signifies a broken clock.
Edit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thirteenth_stroke_of_the_clock -- for further info (Thanks to u/KingBydlo)
At first I was like, meh nothing special then I realized how difficult this would be.
So that is what retirement is like.
If you're gonna be that guy, at least do it right ;)
Single piece of wood and a lot of very careful planning and craftsmanship.
I'm just impressed the glass bottle didn't break
Path of least resistance, probably, I dunno, I'm not a sciencer
In a situation where you need to chill a bottle quickly you can wrap a wet towel around a bottle and stick in the freezer for 30 minutes and you'll be set. But if you forget to pull the bottle...
Using the barcode I found this: http://detail.youzan.com/show/goods?alias=2g07snhdptt9l&v2/goods/2g07snhdptt9l
It's just some failed prints used as regular card board. You can say it's "shallowly recycled material".
That's epic you scanned the code, going the extra mile, love it.
If I knew how to give out gold I would.
"Anyone who brings in their old toothpaste boxes gets a $.50 bonus on their check." - Some Chinese factory supervisor.
Shit that pb&j better taste awesome
Looks like the perfect menu for my wife.
Just needs the "whatever" or the "I don't mind, whatever you're having. But not that or that or that or that or...."
I agree. That's awfully pricey for PB&J. It better have handmade jam or organic peanut butter or something equally fancy! Still, sometimes all you want is a good PB&J and maybe some potato chips, so there ya go.
"I WANTED TO GO TO MCDONALD'S!"
A bowl of fucking cereal -- $7.50
Yeah that's pretty mildly interesting, but let's talk about that index finger I think you should invest in some good lotion.
No I'm pretty sure it's a finger
I wanna put that on my face
No, you just found some gnomes living in a tree. Walk away so they can live in peace.
On gnomedit.com right now:
Some creepy giant just took a picture of us minding our own business
Be the change you wish to see in the world
I am slightly disappointed this site doesn't exist.
edited Dang, this blew up while I was gone. Thanks everyone :). And a shameless self-advertisement of sorts, I have been teaching myself web development and latin recently with the aim to eventually create a site entirely in latin (most likely just a personal blog site of sorts).
Does he know you're coming?
Does he remember you're coming?
You have too much faith in Mr. Heiss
Ha this chart has some good jokes. I like Mr. Heiss, he's a chill dude.
P.s this is my highest rated comment awesome. it's on my alt account, not as awesome.
"I'm not entirely sure how you got to the this box" hahahahahahahahahaha
Edit: this is now my most upvoted comment by a few hundred. Thanks Reddit.
The best thing is that once people eventually find Mr. Heiss they will no longer remember why they needed him in the first place.
He definitely is, although he got mad at our class for laughing at him when he hit a copper pipe against the hanging lights.
I'm sorry to say I find this more than mildly interesting. I'm going to have to lie down for a bit.
The paint is made by Stuart Semple and you can buy it on his website
Vantablack was developed by the National Physical Laboratory in the UK. It's carbon nanotubes arranged vertically like flocking.
It absorbs 99.965% of visible light making objects painted with it look like silhouettes or just voids in space.
Naturally this makes it of particular interest to artists who do a lot of work with unusual pigments. Anish Kapoor is famous for making incredibly intimidating almost supernatural feeling sculptures with extremely strong pigments. Not being one to miss a trick (plus having the advantage of being one of the worlds wealthiest living artists) he bought the exclusive rights to civilian use of it.
This angered a lot of his art world peers because it's kind of a dick move to effectively ban all artists from the use of the most exciting development in pigment technology in living memory in the name of profit.
Especially seeing as this isn't stuff you can just cook up at home.
His name is kinda dirt now, because he's revealed he's willing to be a greedy litigious bastard if it means it'll give him an edge over his competition. It also reeks of insecurity seeing as he's already a wildly accomplished and successful artist.
That's a portable hole.