lifeprotips

LPT: Never make fun of people for dancing. They're having fun. Go join them!

LPT: Never make fun of people for dancing. They're having fun. Go join them!

Not long after I began dating my first wife, I was dancing in the living room to some tune. I couldn't tell you if I was really into it, or just casually bebopping around(the point being I wasn't intentionally dancing comically), but she said something to the effect of, "Please tell me that's not how you dance." I was at a loss, because I really had never even thought about how I danced prior to that moment, but it messed with my head in a way that I never ever danced with her, or even in front of her again. Words have consequences.

Yeah, nothing like an offhand comment like this to make you self-conscious.

This. I hate dancing in clubs/bars, and I had certain friends who would beg me up and down all night to just try to dance - and then the minute I'm in the rare mood for it, they'd be all up in my face about how it's not good dancing. People can become such pushy assholes when they're wasted. I've never stopped trying to hang out with a set of friends faster.

You can dance if you want to

You can leave your friends behind

'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance

Well they're no friends of mine

I say, you can go where you want to

A place where they will never find

And we can act like we come from out of this world

Leave the real one far behind

And we can /sub/dance

It's the Reddit Dance!

LPT: When you throw a dinner party, someone might have diet restrictions due to religious principles, such as not eating pork. To make things easier for everyone, call in advance to tell them that God doesn't exist.

LPT: When you throw a dinner party, someone might have diet restrictions due to religious principles, such as not eating pork. To make things easier for everyone, call in advance to tell them that God doesn't exist.

Not the intended subreddit, but this made me laugh, have an up vote.

/sub/shittylifeprotips

Could always just sit in a room silently & enjoy each other's presence.

Yes pork ,beef or any animal can cause offence. So maybe safer with vegetarian, or just drinks, but then alcohol can also cause offence, so maybe no food or drinks, maybe just talking but not about religion or politics or sex or any other offensive topics, maybe just skip it then

LPT: When a killer makes you dig your own grave, throw the soil far away so he has trouble backfilling.

LPT: When a killer makes you dig your own grave, throw the soil far away so he has trouble backfilling.

Better still, don't do it, they're going to kill you anyway.

"Well I WAS going to murder you but damn, that's a nice hole you dug there. Run along you scamp."

Not sure I'd call that "LPT". It's more of a "DPT".

Actually once you dig the grave you're entitled to be compensated for all the hours you worked, report him to the fair work bureau and your next of kin will be able to collect the money you earned.

LPT: People are usually not fired for a big fuck up at work. They are usually fired for how they acted after the fuck up. So stay calm, be upfront & honest, and try minimize the damage

LPT: People are usually not fired for a big fuck up at work. They are usually fired for how they acted after the fuck up. So stay calm, be upfront & honest, and try minimize the damage

I pumped a full tanker of milk straight into the drain once. No one gave a shit. The local council was the most upset because they wanted to know why all of a sudden the sewerage treatment plant was full of milk.

Can confirm. I make a fuck up that cost the company tens of thousands of dollars in regulatory fines. I was even on a probation period. I straight up owned up, admitted it happened because I was complacent and not paying attention. Kept my job when I should have been fired by all rights.

That's because a new employee to replace you is likely to make that mistake as well. You on the other hand will never make that mistake again

Not if it’s a safety violation. Straight out the door, at least where I work.

LPT: If you are buying tortilla chips, go to the Mexican aisle of the grocery store instead of the chip aisle.

LPT: If you are buying tortilla chips, go to the Mexican aisle of the grocery store instead of the chip aisle.

I'm starting to think most people on reddit don't live in Poland.

The Mexican aisle? Wtf. I'm in southern California, we have entire Mexican grocery stores

If you want cheap spices, go to the ethnic food aisle, rather than the spice aisle.

Bagged spices are just as good and many times cheaper.

Juanitas are the best tortilla chips ever. I live in Portland, and I don't know how far they are distributed, but good god they are the best.

LPT: Hurt your balls? Once you've gotten over your ego and can accept the fact that you can't swallow the pain, squat. It releases your balls from the spasm it got and is a better way to make the pain go than just holding your parts

LPT: Hurt your balls? Once you've gotten over your ego and can accept the fact that you can't swallow the pain, squat. It releases your balls from the spasm it got and is a better way to make the pain go than just holding your parts

Is this before or after crumbling to the floor whilst crying and excepting death?

I don't know if I'm going to be able to remember this during all the blinding pain... But I'll try, for you.

LPT: If Word crashes or shuts down and your document didn't save, search ".asd" in the file Explorer under "This/My PC". It will be there

LPT: If Word crashes or shuts down and your document didn't save, search ".asd" in the file Explorer under "This/My PC". It will be there

Or compulsively hit ctrl-s after every other word!

LPT: Turn on Word’s autosave function. Verify it’s autosaving. Set for an appropriate time.... 5 minutes, 1 minute, etc.

The last several versions of Office do this automatically. If an asd exists it will prompt you the next time you start Word to recover the document. What version are you using where you still need to hunt for the asd file?

Multiple times, just to be sure

LPT: Turn your lights on in inclement weather. It’s not for you to be able to see; it’s so other drivers can see you.

LPT: Turn your lights on in inclement weather. It’s not for you to be able to see; it’s so other drivers can see you.

Anyone that needs to be told this shouldn't be driving.

TIL driving lights are optional across the pond

So. Much. This.

Living in the Seattle Metro Area, it rains a lot (surprise!) and idiots still don't get this concept.

Bonus ProTip: If the street lights are on, so should your headlights.

My rule is, "If you can't see the sun, turn your lights un."

LPT: If you have a whiteboard with dry erase marker stuck on it, you can just draw on the permanent lines with another dry erase marker and it will erase easily.

LPT: If you have a whiteboard with dry erase marker stuck on it, you can just draw on the permanent lines with another dry erase marker and it will erase easily.

I just learned this today and it has changed my life.

You can erase permanent marker from a white board like this too if you have used one accidentally.

I've found rubbing alcohol to do the trick

And if you've gone to town on your whiteboard with a permanent marker some aerosols (mosquito repellent) will remove it easily. Use sparingly though because it takes off the white board coating turning it into a plain old board.

this is exactly why all these tips work, they contain alcohol.

LPT: Train your dog to come to you when the fire alarm goes off. This could save your life in the event of a fire when you're sleeping.

LPT: Train your dog to come to you when the fire alarm goes off. This could save your life in the event of a fire when you're sleeping.

I learned when my dad burned some grilled cheese that my dog is TERRIFIED of the smoke alarm and she runs to me and doesn't leave me alone until I hug her and the alarm is turned off

Easy! Set house on fire, give dog treat.

Instructions unclear, dog became arsonist trying to earn treats.

what kind of ridiculous "protip" is this?? If the damn fire alarm doesn't wake you up the dog sure as hell won't either... lol how this got 92 upvotes is beyond me?!

Try one of these subthreads