LifeProTips lifeprotips

LPT: Always let a dog sniff your fist first before trying to pet him, then scratch under the chin and on the sides. Never reach or stand over a dog. Reaching over top a dog's head can be threatening.

LPT: Always let a dog sniff your fist first before trying to pet him, then scratch under the chin and on the sides. Never reach or stand over a dog. Reaching over top a dog's head can be threatening.

Exactly this. I went to pet a little poodle once and he pulled out a glock then capped my ass.

Edit: My first ever Gold! I love you guys

Also, the idea of extending specifically your fist for the dog to sniff is so that if it does snap at you, your fingers are tucked into the fist and therefore way less likely to be bitten off.

Always ask the dogs owner/caretaker if it's OK to even pet them before approaching . Never make assumptions about dogs that appear friendly.

Is there a limit to how fast I should extend my fist? My friends dog hasn't moved in a while...

LPT: Leave the washing machine lid open after every load of wash to allow moisture to escape and dry it out.

LPT: Leave the washing machine lid open after every load of wash to allow moisture to escape and dry it out.

And if your washer is stinky because you've been closing the lid, do an empty wash with vinegar instead of detergent.

I owe my wife an apology

As a man who has worked on washing machines in the past this is the correct answer. Also a great way to get detergent(itchy, rough, etc.) out of clothes. Basically the mold grows on the left over detergent in the seals(usually).

Its to prevent mold and mildew from forming, but I cant post that in the LPT or it will get deleted

LPT: Learn to look at food products labeling carefully. "Made with 100%..." is very different to "made from 100%..."

LPT: Learn to look at food products labeling carefully. "Made with 100%..." is very different to "made from 100%..."

LPT: Anything on a food label that isn't in the boring nutrition information section is marketing material, not nutrition information.

My favorite example of this is kraft's "100% grated" parmesan cheese

Also 'low fat' usually means 'extra sugar'

We grated every piece of it yessiree! Sure it's mostly plastic and salted soy, but it's in teeny tiny pieces and THAT'S what the people want.

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LPT: if you are putting your house on the market, GTFO during open houses and viewing appointments.

LPT: if you are putting your house on the market, GTFO during open houses and viewing appointments.

My house has been on the market for a while now and I've become a pro. (Just got a contract this week!)

Before you have it photographed for the internet, make sure that the security system panel is not in the frame. Disguise it if you have to. Take other basic precautions of what you want the general public to see. If you have your grandmother's silver tray, don't let it be in a pic.

Get a couple of electric candle warmers (like hot plates) and turn them on a few hours before people arrive to see the house. A subtle aroma is best.

Turn on every light in the house when showing it, even the lights at the doors.

De-pet everything. If necessary, place blankets or similar on the furniture where the pet hangs out to decrease residual odors. If its a problem, spray the couch and/or chairs with a mixture of fabric softener and water. In my experience, it doesn't hurt the fabric.

When showing the house, it is better if the kitchen and bathroom counters are cleared off. If you have to, put your stuff into laundry baskets and put it in your car while you are away from the house. Actually, the washer and dryer are great hiding places if you need them for decluttering (toys, shoes or other shit that's laying around the house). FYI: A pet that is laying around the house won't take kindly to the washer or dryer.

If you have odors in your closet because of shoes, put a tea bag in each shoe after you wear them. Also a small dish of vinegar will help minimize odors

Put away most of your knick-knacks. Less is always more. Also, put away your family photos. Realtors will say it is so that the potential buyers can see themselves in your house. I do it for privacy

While not showing your house, close off as many rooms as you can to cut down on the need to dust those rooms.

Keep the grass cut and shrubs trimmed. If they are unkempt, you are sending a message that upkeep is difficult.

Make your damn beds.

Close the lids on your toilets.

Open your screened windows weather permitting. People love the idea of getting fresh breezes.

Edit: For those asking, check with your vet and see if you can drop your pet off on the days of showing. You might be charged a bit but if you have a good relationship with your animal, they will probably tell you not to worry about it. That's what mine does

Yes, a lot of my tips are focusing on the fact that my house smells like animals. I love them but there is no getting away that odors can give a bad impression and might possibly distract a potential buyer when you need them to focus

Keep your curtains and blinds open, even if you are proud of them.

Weed out the books in your bookcases so they look likes there is tons of space. Plus, it will lighten the room up. Trust me - you want them to imagine how many books they can fit in

Steam clean your carpets Small money - big results

When I was about 14, my parents split up so they had to sell the house. I would come home from school, and no one else would be home except me while a realtor would often take prospective buyers through the house. I would just sit on my bed while they looked through and pray that they would just leave. Fast forward to a few weeks later when I heard a the car of the realtor coming down the driveway. Me, being the socially awkward teenager I was, decided I would hide and avoid contact. So I went to the kitchen, grabbed a wine glass (only clean glass in the cabinet at the time), filled it with water to prevent thirst, and made my way to the corner of our unfinished basement thinking there was no way they would care to see that dank corner. So, after a couple minutes of inspection, of course I hear them come down the stairs of the basement. They start walking around but don't immediately see me because I am hidden behind some old couches, but of course they decide they want to walk behind those couches (because why wouldn't they? Have to inspect the hot water heater, ya know?). They then turn around and see me, some kid sipping a water out of a wine glass in the dark corner of a basement, alone. They, of course, freak out, leave immediately and don't buy the house. The kicker is that the realtor thought I was drinking vodka and was an alcoholic trying to hide my addiction. She apparently cried for two days before telling my mom, who also cried for a day, before driving 200 miles to the beach I had gone to in the meantime to confront me about my alcoholism. When she told me, she balled her eyes out. I laughed. Still an alcoholic though.

Or you can sell your house in Vancouver by slapping everyone in the face as they walk in and still get $100,000 over asking. Seriously though, these are all great tips, I like the candle warmer idea.

I agree. We were having a home inspection done on a home we had an offer on and the home owner was there. They kept trying to say the inspector was wrong and talk over them. It was a very frustrating experience and in the long run the inspector was right

LPT: If your milk smells sour, pour a little into a cup/glass and smell it again, often it is the residue in the neck/opening that is sour and not the milk inside.

LPT: If your milk smells sour, pour a little into a cup/glass and smell it again, often it is the residue in the neck/opening that is sour and not the milk inside.

If I even suspect the milk is bad, I can't help but register it as a sour smell.

LPT is really going down the shitter lately.

Or maybe it's just neck of the bottle I'm smelling.

I think I'm broken. Milk always smells sour to me. Always.

Tip it down the drain before it turns sour.

LPT: The dial on your A/C doesn't change the temperature of the air blowing out, just when you want it to stop

LPT: The dial on your A/C doesn't change the temperature of the air blowing out, just when you want it to stop

"it's a destination, not a throttle." quote from my step dad. Union AC repair man.

This is true most of the time in the US, but not always. It's sometimes true in Europe and rarely true in Asia. This is because mini-split ACs, which are ubiquitous outside the US, have inverter compressors and actually can derate themselves and have a significant dynamic range.

If I set one of my AC heads 20 degrees below room temp, it will blow much colder than if it's 1-5 degrees below room temp.

As a fellow Union member, your dad is the coolest

coolest guy I've ever known. Especially in the summer

LPT: On a long car ride, stand-up comedy albums (found on Apple Music or Spotify) can make time pass by quicker than actual music.

LPT: On a long car ride, stand-up comedy albums (found on Apple Music or Spotify) can make time pass by quicker than actual music.

OP you need podcasts in your life.

Edit- Podcasts:

I've listened to either all the available episodes, or a good proportion of them.

self help? Tim ferriss show. Jocko podcast.

History History of English History of the world in 100 objects Life of Caesar Hardcore history Revisionist history In our time The dollop (history comedy) Stuff you missed in history class (personally I can't handle these two. Adenoidal pronunciation and the format reminds me of an eighth grade shared speech. They literally take turns at reading from their pieces of paper, which they summarize from Wikipedia. But people seem to like them so I'll include them.) Rum, ratbags, and rebels

Politics Common sense with Dan carlin

real life stuff Serial. The Joe Rogan Experience Waking up with sam Harris Freakonomics Planet Money

chatty kind of stuff Hello Internet Chat 10 looks 3 - if you ever want to feel inadequate about the amount of stuff you achieve in a day, these two incisively intelligent people will make you feel even worse. But I like to play along. Radio Diaries Garden fork tv Beer smith home brewing A closer look with Pam Atherton

Science The infinite monkey cage Sleek Geeks Gastropod The science show (ABC radio) Stuff you should know (really light)

Skepticism The scathing atheist The Skeptics Guide to the Universe The herd mentality God awful movies The skepticrat Cognitive dissonance The

comedy Plumbing the Death Star The Dollop (history based) God awful movies No Such Thing as as Fish

Music Song exploder Like a version

design 99 percent invisible Australian Design Radio

i don't even know Benjamin Walkers Theory of Everything The Allusionist That Movie Guy

Philosophy Philosophy bites History of Philosophy without any gaps

spiritual Beyond belief

There's more, but I've forgotten them

-oh yeah, Learn to meditate

-and radiolab

This has helped me through many long drives. I've switched to audio books on Audible or through local library digital lending just because I feel like I'm learning more than from comedy. That being said I think stand-up is better for group trips.

Edit: added links

What you don't like 10 minutes of music followed by 5-7 minutes of random advertisements? You're missing out!!

I know. I haven't listened to the radio in years and my life is better for it.

LPT: In order to be a better conversationalist, don't ask yes/no questions. Instead, ask ones that require a more thoughtful, in-depth response.

LPT: In order to be a better conversationalist, don't ask yes/no questions. Instead, ask ones that require a more thoughtful, in-depth response.

Would you say it was your dad being an abusive alcoholic or your mom cheating on your dad with your ex boyfriend that made you pursue a career in the tabletop arts?

Who is your daddy and what does he do?

Spends more time thinking of deep questions to ask than actually listening to the conversation

Yes, I would.

LPT: When visiting elderly relatives ask them if they've met any new and/or exciting people recently, it could prevent them from being scammed

LPT: When visiting elderly relatives ask them if they've met any new and/or exciting people recently, it could prevent them from being scammed

Everyone knows scammers online prey on unsuspecting people targeting lonely and gullible people. Commonly elderly people get targeted most. Asking them about new people can reveal if they meet new people overseas who the family may not know. It may not stop an initial scam but it can prevent future ones.

I met this wonderful young man the other day, his name was Jimmy McGill. He really likes Cracker Barrel.

Literally today I get a call from my dad saying that my grandma got a call from someone saying that I was in police custody and that I was heard I the background crying because my nose was broken and that he needed money to get me out. She was really upset about it and had it not been for my dad would have gotten swindled. Seriously fuck scam artists.

Great idea. I found another way really helpful. Don't tell them new versions of frauds /schemes. Tell them a story of how your (imaginary) friend got robbed off. And never advise them in the end. Never. Just tell the story. If they get inquisitive, answer their questions in detail. (important: never advise)

Elderly people mostly don't take your advice seriously. But they somehow are programmed to note and avoid things which resulted bad for other people.

I love the ebay scams where they ask you to send money by western union to a particular branch. I always tell them to go to western union in another town because I made a mistake and it got sent there for pickup. Then they call or mail and say it isn't there and I laugh at them. It's extra fun if you turn up too and watch them become disappointed. I only did this once though, the guy waited around for an hour and a half while I watched him from a bench. I bought a McDonald's chicken burger and made a morning out of it. Eventually he left and I went home and cleaned the kitchen.

LPT: Use cable binders in this specific way to organize multiple lose cables under your desk (picture in text).

LPT: Use cable binders in this specific way to organize multiple lose cables under your desk (picture in text).Like so
LPT: Use cable binders in this specific way to organize multiple lose cables under your desk (picture in text).

I wish /sub/lpt was more of this and less "If you have a friend who's trying to eat less gluten, NEVER ask them about it or offer them any food containing gluten, you ass!"

Edit: Hey, my top comment of all time. I've gotten a lot of the same comment replies, so here they are in order of what I remember the most:

1. OP's post is typical of what you would find in /sub/lifehacks

2. OP's LPT is stupid/wasteful/not as good as velcro ties

3. People agree that the content of /sub/lifeprotips isn't great lately

4. We should make a new sub for better LPTs

And shameless comment hijack LPT: check out Amazon smile to donate a percentage of your amazon purchases to a charity of your choice. Use a browser add-on like Smile Always so you don't have to type "smile" every time. If you're still reading check out my favorite blog too. ok that's it thanks bye!

If your friend is crying get them a tissue. They are probably too busy being sad to get one. #LPT

Velcro ties are used by professionals nowadays.

Don't do this at work. It will annoy the IT guy.

Source: I am the IT guy

Try one of these subthreads