Taking u/BookerDeWittsCarbine to Court for Stealing my post and taking my Karma
Theft of an image and the adoration and awws of the good people of Reddit, Theft of over 40k karma, about 5 times the karma of the original (my post).
Please help me! I need the Karma to send my child to college.
Witness: u/2nd2last u/HopeSandoval u/BBFriendshipExpress
Jury: u/RubyLover69 u/Hk_K22
Random bystander: u/Hav3_Y0u_M3t_T3d
Village idiot: u/_insertpunhere_ u/villageidiot33
Not only did he steal your karma, he stole your child!
Save my child. Save the galaxy.
I can be your attorney. We're going to gut him like a fish, and take all of his updoots.
The people of /r/memeeconomy vs /u/egrogE for market manipulation and fraud.
Recently, /u/egrorG threatened /sub/memeeconomy and all memers around the world saying if he didn't get 10 billion usd by Sunday he would flood the market with rare Pepes he had been collecting. Further investigation from the meme police revealed that he had downloaded all of the "rare Pepes" off an imgur album.
Charges: Market manipulation of the third degree, fraud of the third degree.
Defence attorney: /u/emersonic420
We have all 12 jurors! Verdict time! The jurors have been messaged about their verdict. Now, we wait.
There's been a delay in the case!!! It's been hours and still some jurors haven't responded. Maybe they live in a different time zone so I'm gonna wait a bit. If anyone is wondering, the judge has decided to go with majority rule rather than unanimous rule.
Hello Court. My name is /u/emersonic420. My client is under attack for posting an image of several rare pepes and demanding money. This is absolutely false. I have reason to believe that every user of /sub/memeeconomy is suffering from some variety of mental illness which makes them unfit to serve as members of the jury on this case. The only thing my client is guilty of is having really good memes.
The people of /r/me_irl vs /u/lordtuts for the theft of a record 70,000 karma.
Expertly timed in the wake of Reddit increasing karma scores, /u/lordtuts deliberately targeted the most weak and fragile members of Reddit to pull perhaps the largest scale scam in Reddit history.
15/12/16: /u/lordtuts makes a legally binding contract to tattoo the top me_irl post of the next day on his ass. Exhibit A
16/12/16: /sub/me_irl users, their lives finally given meaning, jump at the opportunity and flood the subreddit with posts. /u/lordtuts spends the day spurring them on, and even enlists the help of his wife (or is she?) to help sell the ruse. Exhibit B
17/12/16: /u/lordtuts unashamedly flees with his karma. Exhibit C
I'll volunteer for defense.
Edit: did you really think I would volunteer for defense just for some fake Internet points?
Promises to buy sun and moon
This user promised to buy everyone sun and moon if they up voted then backed out Therefore they shall be tried in karma court
U/mrtittyfingers is the judge U/chromaticfinish is the special prosecutor U/passingthroughrider is the defendant
Edit- I have reached third in top of /sub/karmacourt with this shitty post I spent two minutes on using my phone among a bunch of 1000 word essays that link proper arguments and evidence let that show you that life doesn't reward the people who work it rewards the shitposters amen
The Court requires the defendant to show within the next 5 hours that he is indeed rich or we will proceed with charges. If OP is truly rich then he will be able to deliver and charges will be dropped.
The Moderators and People of Reddit VS. The Reddit Admins For Firing Victoria, lack of communication, and more.
KARMA COURT LIVE UPDATES !
KARMACOURT BLOG REPORTING: /U/KN0THING FIDDLES AS REDDIT BURNS
10:14 PM: I'm going to bed. Trial resums tomorrow at sun rise when oranges will be down. tired smash of gavel
7:11 PM: I'm back. Daddy's home.
12:15 PM: I have to get off for a few hours. I'll be back tonight. In the meantime we're waiting for the opening statement of the prosecution.
10:25 AM: I woke up, drank some oranges, and now WE'RE BACK. The opening statements should come soon. I'm also updating the list of jury. Due to the amount of people asking for it, I'll only sign the first 12 who asked for it.
1:52 AM WEST COAST TIME Alright people I'm going to bed. The trial will go ahead at sun rise. Bang.REMEMBER: THIS IS A NO-DOWNVOTE ZONE !
CASE Number: 15-KCC-07-3bycnj
CHARGE 2: Lack of communication and openness regarding what the mods had to say about the moderation tools
CHARGE 3: Making an act that created a revolt (worse: a riot) on the whole platform. Hundreds of subreddits went private (defaults subs as well) to protest against the actions taken by the Admins. Where the hell am I going to go now?
CHARGE 4: CHARGE 4: Deploying a broken and unusable new search interface in complete disregard to months of negative feedback at /sub/beta.
Outline: It's a huge case. This thread will tell you everything about what's going on. It sumps up and explains the case as well.
At approximately 5pm UTC, 1pm EST, on Thursday the 2nd of July, 2015, the moderators of /sub/iama took their subreddit, which is one of the default set, private. This means that only a very small number of people (consisting of the moderators of /sub/iama, as well as any pre-approved users) could view and post to the subreddit, making it for all intents and purposes shut down; any other redditors would just see this page. Just after that, a thread was posted to this subreddit, asking whether anyone knew why it had happened. /u/karmanaut, top mod of /sub/iama, responded with an explanation of why they took the subreddit private.
The situation was explained here by /u/karmanaut: the mods of /sub/iama had just found out that without prior warning, /u/chooter, or Victoria, had been released from her position at reddit. They felt that they, along with the other subreddits that host AMAs, should have been warned beforehand, if only so that they could have someone or something in place to handle the transition. /u/karmanaut went on to say that many of the mods affected by this do not believe that the admins understand how heavily /u/chooter was relied upon to allow AMAs to go smoothly - something which is outlined below. Without her, they found themselves in a difficult situation
So far, /sub/askreddit, /sub/books, /sub/science, /sub/music, /sub/gaming, /sub/history, /sub/art, /sub/videos, /sub/gadgets, /sub/todayilearned, /sub/documentaries, /sub/lifeprotips, and /sub/movies have followed /sub/iama in making themselves private. In addition, /sub/listentothis has disabled all submissions, and so has /sub/picsand /sub/jokes has announced its support (but has not gone private). Major subreddits, including /sub/4chan, /sub/circlejerk and /sub/imgoingtohellforthis, have also expressed solidarity through going private. See here for a further list.
Many other subreddits were also reliant on /u/chooter's services as an official contact point for the organisation of AMAs on reddit, including /sub/science, /sub/books, and /sub/music. So, in order to express their dissatisfaction with the difficulties they have been placed in without /u/chooter, similar to /sub/iama, they have made themselves private.
As much as Victoria is loved, this reaction is not all a result of her departure: there is a feeling among many of the moderators of reddit that the admins do not respect the work that is put in by the thousands of unpaid volunteers who maintain the communities of the 9,656 active subreddits, which they feel is expressed by, among other things, the lack of communication between them and the admins, and their disregard of the thousands of mods who keep reddit's communities going. /u/nallen's response above is an example of one of the many responses to these issues.
The moderation tools on reddit are another of the larger contention points between the mods and admins - they are frequently saidby those who use them often to be a decade out of date.
The moderators of an increasing number of default subreddits have been making them private, in an attempt to draw the admins' attention to how they have been mismanaging the site with a substantive demonstrative act - since for many years, they've been trying to get the admins to listen normally with relatively little improvement.
Victoria was beloved by many redditors, and people are understandably upset - but remember that we still don't know why it happened. What is an issue is how this problem for the admins was handled; whether or not it was an emergency for the admins, the IAmA mod team were not given warning, and weren't informed of the alternative contact location early enough, which gave them a sizeable logistical problem - one which they took themselves private to deal with.
Evidences will have to be brought to court by both counsels.
MAIN DEFENCE ATTORNEYS- /u/DJ_Deathflea and /u/CRaFTDOS
ASSISTANT DEFENCE- /u/kuntnal
DEFENCE CONSULTANT- /u/BlueAndOrange92
MAIN PROSECUTION ATTORNEYS- /u/Kell08 and /u/IceBlade03 (representing /sub/iolpio_and_banana)
ASSISTANT PROSECUTION- /u/GhostOfWhatsIAName
BAILIFF: /u/DornishRedViper, /u/JonathanRL & /u/Metalworks13
Karma Court Reporter: /u/SqnCdrLordFlashheart
Karma Court Reporter Article: /u/kn0thing Fiddles As Reddit Burns
LOUD STENOGRAPHER- /u/learn2die101 TSK TK TSK STK STK TKS TKST
PITCHFORK SPONSOR- /u/inevitablescape
COURT JESTER- /u/inevitablescape
JURY- (12 jurors selected randomly according to Canadian law)
HOTDOG VENDOR- /u/I_PUNCH_PAO (in the puncho) AND /u/CRaFTDOS AND /u/jumanji123
the guy who rushes into the court midway into the hearing causing a distraction: /u/robomaeyhem
glorious smelly homeless man has arrived- /u/AwwNickYeah
THE PEOPLE OF REDDIT VS. THE ADMINS FO REDDIT FOR ATTEMPTING TO DESTROY REDDIT
CASE Number: 14KCC-06-28hv73
CHARGE: DESTRUCTION OF PUBLIC PROPERTY
CHARGE: SEDITION & TREASON OF THE HIGHEST ORDER
NOW COMES /u/AddictedReddit to carry forth a charge against the administrators of our very court building for attempting to damage the site beyond repair.
TO WIT, Administration conspired without the knowledge of the people to disable and render worthless the very concept of upvoting and downvoting, turning the site into "like vs dislike", and to release code in full across every subreddit without judging the reaction of the people or providing moderators any method to disregard the change.
WHEREAS, this action did break RES placing undue stress upon /u/HonestBleeps and the community as a whole, causing veterans of the Digg migration to suffer flashbacks.
JUDGE - /u/Meowing_Cows
DEFENSE - /u/pumadude321
PROSECUTORS- /u/Yanky_Doodle_Dickwad, /u/Throwaway4noone
COURTROOM DRUNK - /u/Pillar_of_Filth
BARTENDER - /u/jmpkiller000
PITCHFORK VENDOR - /u/ColdWaterEnthusiast
BAILIFF - /u/ineededtosaythishere
COURT MASSEUSE - /u/loopmoploop
SECURITY - /u/JonathanRL
/u/croatianpride refuses to stream himself eating a shoe after promising to do so
Exhibit 1 2 months ago, the accused posts, promising to stream himself eating a shoe if a goal is met.
The loyal users of /sub/dota2 watched on during the last two months, counting down to the goal.
Over 8 days ago this goal was met, and he has still not streamed himself eating a shoe.
THE PEOPLE OF REDDIT VS /U/VOLUMEZERO FOR BLATANT GRANDTHEFT.JPG
At approximately 5 o'clock on July 16, 2013 A.D., /u/VolumeZero posted this post to /sub/gaming. The post quickly rose to the front page, and as of 6:47 P.M., it has accumulated 8,042 karma and much praise in the comments section. It should be noted that /u/VolumeZero's total link karma as of this moment is 4,901.
Unfortunately, contrary to what VolumeZero would have you believe, he found this "jackpot" not at a yardsale, but on imgur. In fact, /u/VolumeZero's disgracefully reposted this post from /u/utterpedant not even two hours after the original was posted, and got away with over 3 times the Karma in the process . This shameless act caused untold psychological damage to /u/utterpedant, who was understandably distraught, as can be seen in this comment on the post.
This shameless case of grandtheft.jpg is worthy of the highest possible punishment. Justice will be upheld!
EDIT: This disgusting repost has become the all time best comment on /sub/gaming. This has elevated the stakes even higher. Capitol punishment is not out of the question.
EDIT #2: It appears that /u/VolumeZero has started an avalanche of lawlessness across the internet. A quick search on KarmaDecay reveals that this post has been reposted at least four times within the past three hours by lowly beings such as /u/Checksbounce (Acknowledged that it was a repost in title), /u/pikk and /u/bob___dull. WHEN WILL THIS MADNESS END???
Prosecution: /u/Always_Reasonable Defense: /u/Deadbabylicious Jury: /u/cowboyrocky, /u/rango_99, /u/veridiantrees, /u/ClassicTheMedic Witness to the crime: /u/synapticimpact
EDIT #3: His most Honorable Honor Justice /u/Yanky_Doodle_Dickwad has commenced the hearing.
EDIT #4: VERDICT!
Please refrain from posting /u/VolumeZero's personal information. Downvoting him is one thing, but putting someone else's personal information online extends beyond KarmaCourt and into asshole territory.
THE PEOPLE OF REDDIT VS. /u/ COLD RUNNINGS IN RELATION TO HIS POST ON THE BOSTON BOMBERS
ColdRunning uploaded this post to /sub/pics, it is currently the top post on /sub/all. When asked how he got the picture, he claims he is a friend with a Boston cop (the comment is now deleted by him to cover his tracks, but you can see it with 'uneddit reddit' app for chrome). But he in fact is NOT a Boston cops friend. The same picture had been posted in a comment just minutes before ColdRunning made his post. Link.
Credit to /u/I_DONT_SLEEP_A_BIT, he was having trouble posting this here.
Edit: Heres the deleted comment from /u/coldrunnings: Credit to /u/no-sweat
OFFICIAL VERDICT: I HEREBY DECLARE /U/COLDRUNNINGS GUILTY ON ALL CHARGES OF KARMA PROSTITUTION OF THE FIRST DEGREE. I SENTENCE /U/COLDRUNNINGS TO HAVE TO MAKE OVER 10,000 LINK KARMA BY POSTING IN ONLY /R/SPACEDICKS. HE WILL BE KNOWN AS A KARMA WHORE UNTIL THE KARMA COUNT IS MET.
EDIT: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: THE KARMA WHORE HAS SUCCESSFULLY DELETED THEIR ACCOUNT