His wife probably hears this story at every dinner party they've attended since.
I'd like to know what carrier he's on.
I wonder what's more valuable. The Rolex he brought down there or the cellphone plan he has.
"oh hey honey, you're NOT gonna believe the day i had. So first..."
Hi, my name is Kim. I'll take one with everything.
I think we're down to ~24 minutes with a modern ICBM.. so yes.
"Hey, they only gave us one mushroom!"
The world might end before you could fact check it.
Could you imagine if there was a nuclear fallout and people went underground to live for 100s of years. And then they finally decided to come out and they find this fucking painting on the side of the wall having no idea who that was or how it got there.
-"Man, that old woman is hideous"
-"I guess that's what art is"
No, it's Ongo Gablogian.
Isn't that Danny Devitov in a wig?
Nobody said they were smart.
Or he's learnt he'll get the reward and be immediately released.
Repeat for infinite food!
This is the American prison system.
Finally! My long imprisonment at the hands of the humans is at an end! Hello, what's this?
IT'S NOT WORKING
Why can't they show the cat for more than a quarter second?
Y u doo dis 2 me, hooman?
This can actually be a form of ADD.
You mean a symptom.
I have ADHD. Can confirm
Also have ADHD. Last week it was a replacement stereo system for my car. This week it's personal hygiene products. Amazon is my best friend\worst enemy.
I'd want to lift out the center and start there so that the crust would be last. Starting with the crust would just feel wrong.
Wait. People share pizza?
Why cut it at all? One pizza, one piece.
Friends: "hey guys remember '2 girls 1 cup'?"
Me: "So gross right?!"
My wife: "What's that?"
Friends: "do we show her?"
Wife: "well you have to now, you can't just make me curious and not show me"
Me: "you've been warned"
Wife: "I'm sure I can han-OH MY GOD!!!!"
Still haven't seen this. I've seen so much other fucked up stuff but never this. If someone links it I'll watch it now.
Edit: Watched. Gagged a little. Not as bad as some other stuff I've seen that's for damn sure.
Imagine one girl pooping into a cup.
Then another girl eats it and then pukes it back into the first girls mouth.
It goes on from there.
Basically this gif
My arrow finds its mark
Goddammit furthering the idea it's pronounced OregON and not OregEN
SEE THROUGH THE DRAGON'S EYE
It has turned into a Patronus.
Poor guy. He got the stuffing hit out of him.
What happened to your rug dude?
Straight up u/fuckswithducks gore