Funny funny

Happy Fathers Day

Happy Fathers Day

The face of the oldest child is "he does this every day. I wish he'd get a job"

Do you not see the guy wearing the fedora sitting in there?

Guy should really get a more comfortable seat.

There's nothing in the pool...

The floor is Europe

The floor is Europe

Correction: European Union

Were not leaving the whole bloody continent.

If there was just one picture to explain Brexit...

That would have been impressive, though.

the sky

This is actually a proven method

This is actually a proven method

Ex military here. I once fell asleep on the dirt in the rain with my helmet over my face. Woke up with frost on all my exposed skin. Slept soundly.

EDIT: Also fallen asleep standing up and sitting on the toilet. Those were not so good sleeps.

The first valuable skill many learn in the military is the ability to sleep anywhere at any time...

it's not the first skill they teach you, it's just the first many learn.

Fell asleep in the gun truck once. Gunner let off a good 60-70 rounds through the M2. I woke up back in the motorpool, never even knew we left or fired rounds. OUT

Edit: Gracias for the gold. Didn't know being a shitbag TC was so interesting haha.

In Pendleton doing training, I feel asleep wearing my gas mask for the duration of a drill. They came and woke me up about 15 minutes after it was over. I was still lying behind cover "guarding" the perimeter.

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Lock me up, I did all of the things

Lock me up, I did all of the things

It's a pretty clever Saturday Night Live skit:

https://vimeo.com/41920743

One of my favorites.

At 9.17 PM my client searched up Piers Morgan.

At 9.19 PM my client searched for Piers Morgan at the beach.

At 9.23 PM my client searched for Piers Morgan biki.......

Your honour, my client is a psychopathic murderer.

As a Giants fan, Eli is a major goofball, but he killed it on SNL.

He actually searched for 'elderly butts' and 'very elderly butts'

Cat Fishing

Damn. This guys sure knows how to reel in the pussy.

This one on the other hand, likes being a tease :

What's the daily limit?

Scottish Fold.

Louis CK in: A Millennial Applies for a Home Loan

Lives in LA

$175k mortgage. Lawl.

weeps

Lives in Orange County.

$175k sounds more like a down payment...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bFhYvADjl4

Source video, as always, is way better.

20% of $900k = $180k

Median SFR price in Orange County - $733k, may 2017.

Median new home price in Orange County -$933k, Nov 2016

Yeah.

I guess you could say that I've worn out my welcome

I guess you could say that I've worn out my welcome

Now it's just "Home" (sort of)

Dad?

Now that you mention it, it kind of does

It's actually at a local German restaurant

Edit: I did, in fact, save this for today

What fatherhood looks like. Putting a shoe on a 2yo. Happy Father's Day

What fatherhood looks like. Putting a shoe on a 2yo. Happy Father's Day

Nobody told me it was like trying to dress two snakes in a bag!

God I love dilfs.

That's adult thinking, the child may be enjoying this!

Friends with benefits

Friends with benefits

It's not uncommon to be attracted to a person resembling your mother.

The acting is pretty on point.

The disappointment makes her so pretty though.

Edit: Someone burns me and gets gilded for it? Great, Reddit, you're making me relive high school all over again.

Seriously, if it just stopped with the first one I would have bought it.

That isn't normal....

That isn't normal....

We all burn down here

It is normal when assholes toss cigarette butts down storm drains. If there is no storm, it's just leaves and debris to burn.

People conditioned to dropping butts in wetter climates (like here in Japan) would burn down California in a weekend.

Probably someone living in there.

Pennywise is a bit cold.

Try one of these subthreads