Funny funny

Well, that explains a lot

Well, that explains a lot

I had really good decaf once. I was up all night wondering how they made it taste so much like real coffee.

HAHA! I'm stealing this!

I was like, mhm, mhm, oh...... You got me.

Too late - I already did it :)

Let's make a CD machine gun!

You know how many free hours of AOL they just wasted?!?!

Revolution X

Is this what it's like to have an engineering degree and no job?

Still cheaper than .223

Hurdlers without hurdles

Hurdlers without hurdles

Ministry of Silly Walks approves.

"i have a silly walk, and id like to obtain a government grant to help me develop it"

QWOP 2: Electric Boogaloo

The Floor is lava

Dear Lord

Dear Lord

I went to Catholic school when I was a kid, and every Thursday, I'd walk with the rest of my class to a nearby church and attend a students-only mass. Unlike the rest of my friends, though, I hadn't been baptized, which meant that I was expressly forbidden from participating in the "snack time" period of the service. Everyone else would stand up, shuffle between the pews, and get their little cracker, while I was forced to sit and watch, envious and hungry.

Mass usually took place immediately before lunchtime, which may have been part of the issue.

Anyway, one day, the local priest came to my class to discuss something or other, and he brought a collection of unblessed communion wafers with him. Since they hadn't yet been subjected to the ritualistic hand-waving and prayer-reciting process, I was finally allowed to consume one... but before I had the chance, one of my classmates made an observation:

"These taste different!" she said.

Our teacher – a former nun – nodded knowingly. "Yes, they always taste different when they haven't been blessed."

This seemed peculiar to me... and it prompted me to ask a question of my own: "When you bless them," I asked the priest, "do all of the... these... in the church get blessed?"

"Yes, that's why we keep them in the tabernacle," the priest replied.

The conversation continued after that, but I wasn't listening anymore; I was busy hatching a plan. With as much dexterity as my nine-year-old fingers could manage, I broke my wafer in half, sampling the smaller of the two and then keeping the larger piece in my desk. When the next Thursday rolled around, I brought the bit that I'd saved along with me, waited for the blessing to occur, then ate the rest of it.

It tasted the same to me.

TL;DR: I once stole a blessing in an effort to taste-test Jesus.

Once again, maths and logic meddling with religion.

First off, this is hilarious. But you got me curious, so here’s some math: with a generous assumption of 1 g per wafer, if you wanted to accumulate 150 lbs you’d need to attend church weekly for 1,308.7 years.

150 lbs * 453.5 g/lb = 68,025 grams / 52 = 1,308.7

Hey, I'm Zach and I wrote the above comic. More such comics are available at http://smbc-comics.com.

Also, if you're in Seattle, I'm here promoting the new book at BAHFest, so come see me! http://bahfest.com/seattle2017/

Ubisoft

Ubisoft

Nice repost

Same with EA.

I don't get it.

Being fair, I find that ubisoft games are usually average to above average. It's just thier trailers really are amazing and dont represent the product.

Slowly step by step and BOOOOM!!!

Slowly step by step and BOOOOM!!!

Schadenfreude intensifies

Scheiße!!

slow applause *

That's why you always limit yourself to no more than 15 schnitzengruben.

Found this gem

Found this gem

Haha this is great although I don't think it works that way :P

Hey, are you tired of real doors, cluttering up your house, where you open ’em, and they actually go somewhere? And you go in another room? Get on down to “Real Fake Doors”! That’s us. Fill a whole room up with ’em. See? Watch, check this out! Won’t open. Won’t open. Not this one, not this one. None of ’em open! FakeDoors.com is our website, so check it out for a lot of really great deals on fake doooooooors!

Contents: No mustard. No mustard seed. No mustard plant. None. Nil. Nihil. Nada. Nein. Don't ask. No. Just stop.

If it contains mustard seed and is actually red mustard that is weird :P Green ketchup and purple ketchup was actually the most disgusting.

I teach kindergarten in Taiwan. One of my students’ English name is Optimus Prime.

I teach kindergarten in Taiwan. One of my students’ English name is Optimus Prime.

If you're gonna have an English name, this is an awesome one =)

Optimus Prime is so kawaiii

That's more of a Latin name, isn't it?

I'd bet his brother name Bumblebee

Actual Sacrifice.

Actual Sacrifice.

I played the alphabet game growing up.

That why I always time traveled(slept the whole way).

I like this gif/image comic thingy

Ahhh the go ol' 80's. Don't worry I feel your pain and also shared a tear.

 

Now I must go and kill a bear with my "bear" hands to feel manly again.

Honorable English Actors Worthy of Knighthood

Honorable English Actors Worthy of Knighthood

Well they obviously are worthy because they are both knighted

God tier

Behind every great actor is a problem child. Probably drove their teachers to drink.

...says the fake William Shatner

Try one of these subthreads