Books books

Finally Reading, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."

Finally Reading, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."

3 Chapters in and I am LOVING it. Finding a good book that makes you laugh out loud is a gem!

Some of my favorite quotes so far:

"Mr. Prosser's mouth opened and closed a couple of times while his mind was for a moment filled with inexplicable but terribly attractive visions of Author Dent's house being consumed with fire and Arthur himself running screaming from the blazing ruin with at least three hefty spears protrudin from his back. Mr. Prosser was often bothered with visions like these and they made him feel very nervous."

"Ford would get out of his skull on whisky, huddle in a corner with some girl and explain to her in slurred phrases that honestly the color of the flying saucers didnt matter that much really. "

Edit to include: I literally dreamed of burning houses and throwing spears last night.

“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.”

One of my favorites not yet mentioned;

“On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people.”

“Odd,” said Arthur, “I thought you said it was a democracy.”

“I did,” said Ford. “It is.”

“So,” said Arthur, hoping he wasn’t sounding ridiculously obtuse, “why don’t the people get rid of the lizards?”

“It honestly doesn’t occur to them,” said Ford. “They’ve all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they’ve voted in more or less approximates to the government they want.”

“You mean they actually vote for the lizards?”

"Oh yes,” said Ford with a shrug, “of course.”

“But,” said Arthur, going for the big one again, “why?”

“Because if they didn’t vote for a lizard,” said Ford, “the wrong lizard might get in.”

“You know,” said Arthur, “it’s at times like this, when I’m [SPOILER REMOVED] that I really wish I’d listened to what my mother told me when I was young.”

“Why, what did she tell you?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t listen.”

Long ago, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry, and has been seen as a bad move.

I totally fell in love with Prozac Nation

I totally fell in love with Prozac Nation

I read it and here are some quotes that stuck with me.

“I start to think there really is no cure for depression, that happiness is an ongoing battle, and I wonder if it isn't one I'll have to fight for as long as I live. I wonder if it's worth it.”

“Whenever I talk to anyone I care about, I am always seeking approval. There is always a pleading lilt in my voice that demands love. Even the people I work with, the ones I am supposed to have a professional relationship with, all business, get pulled into my need. I can't help it. I want to be adored.”

This book made me feel like I'm not alone in fighting with depression, and I feel like it is under appreciated. More people should know about it, in my opinion, and it should be recommended to anyone that goes through a clinical depression. It was a real help in my struggles and it describes so well the feelings of a depressed person, that I am amazed it is not more popular.

I haven't read this book, but a book that did this for me is called The Noonday Demon: And Atlas of Depression.

It is mostly about major depression and some stuff about bipolar disorder, I think a bit less about the "milder" (they're all awful) forms, but it is beautifully written, almost poetic and very real, and involves a crazy amount of interesting research, and is heavy on stories of people from many different backgrounds. I don't agree with everything he says, and I haven't finished the book, but honestly it is so worth it.

I really enjoyed it but it also frustrated me a little. She was able to find SO much success in spite of her struggles. I probably shouldn't speak for all depressed/anxious individuals, but for me personally my mental issues have kept me from my dreams my entire life. Even while medicated.

You certainly speak for me. More and more I find it very hard to find comfort or inspiration when I hear of famous artists/whatever who struggle with mental/emotional issues. My dreams have been reduced to "have normal life experiences"

That's the big problem with BPD, especially when you're self aware enough to see you're fucking up.... that still doesn't mean you think you deserve happiness. It's so hard. Can you imagine having to remind yourself, all day, everyday, that your life is worth living, that you are worth loving... and just straight up not knowing how to love yourself, and forgiving yourself for all the hurt you've causes. It's exhausting just waking up and being present in life. Imagine, you're living life on expert, but you've never even passed level one on easy. You have no maps, no guides, nothing. Everyday is a battle.... and it's with yourself.

Listen to rare recordings of J.R.R. Tolkien reading ‘The Lord of the Rings’

Listen to rare recordings of J.R.R. Tolkien reading ‘The Lord of the Rings’
Listen to rare recordings of J.R.R. Tolkien reading ‘The Lord of the Rings’

I'd almost prefer him reading Beowulf.

He made a very detailed and accurate translation of that, and apparently used to scare the pants off his students during lectures on the original text by opening with a ROAR. :D

He would come out to lectures and say "Hwaet!" Which means "Listen!" and is also the opening word in Beowulf.

He also (at least) once dressed up as a Saxon warrior and chased his neighbor with an axe.

Also you couldn't take a walk with the guy, because he would stop to stare at and describe tree branches for half an hour.

Not to throw water on your fire, but this isn't rare.

Advertisement

Neil Gaiman on why our future depends on reading, libraries, & librarians.

Neil Gaiman on why our future depends on reading, libraries, & librarians.

Regardless of your opinion of his writing (I know we've had a spate of "why do people even like this guy's books?" sentiment lately), he talks sense and is one of the good guys when it comes to the importance of reading, books, and art for people in general and young people specifically.

This sub doesn't enjoy his work? That's a turn off.

Sandman is brilliant.

I'll have to check that out because I absolutely loved American Gods, it's the first book in honestly years that I've actually really sunk my teeth into and couldn't stop reading. In fact while I'm here does anyone have any recommendations based off of how much I liked American Gods? I would really appreciate it.

First thought would be Good Omens. Apocalypse written by Gaiman and Douglas Adams Terry Pratchett. Depending why you liked American Gods you could also look into something like The Dresden Files. Urban Magic with plenty of gods and mythology thrown in.

Editing this in here: Down in the comment chain is the classic suggested reading order for Pratchett. You can also give his Gnome? series to young children and the Tiffany Aching series to young adults for something geared more towards them although all his books are good at all ages.

How Many Times Does Braid-Tugging and Skirt-Smoothing Happen in The Wheel of Time?

How Many Times Does Braid-Tugging and Skirt-Smoothing Happen in The Wheel of Time?
How Many Times Does Braid-Tugging and Skirt-Smoothing Happen in The Wheel of Time?

I replied there and I will reply here too if people are curious about sniffing throughout the series and who is the biggest sniffer.

During a great reread, I read all the books again on my Kindle for Ipad app and on the Kindle for PC. For each book, I wrote a normal review and then also tabulated sniffs. Easy to do by searching for 'sniff' and going through the book in an electronic version. For each book I tabulated sniffs and compiled it throughout all 14. The end results are below. Nynaeve is the Queen of Sniffs.

And for the series, Nynaeve is the clear winner with 55 sniffs. Elayne is runner up with 20. For all 14 books, excluding New Spring's 2 sniffs, there were 299 sniffs.

Nynaeve - IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII(55)

Elayne - IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII (20)

Egwene - IIIII IIIII IIIII IIII (19)

Aviendha - IIIII IIIII IIII (14)

Suian - IIIII IIIII I (11)

Faile - IIIII IIII(9)

Moiraine - IIIII IIII (9)

Min - IIIII III (8)

Leane - IIIII II (7)

Joline - IIIII I (6)

Cadsuane - IIII

Elaida - IIII

Lanfear/Selene - IIII

Melaine - IIII

Romanda - IIII

Amys - III

Bair - III

Corvil - III

Dyelin - III

Idrien - III

Larine - III

Lelaine - III

Renee Harfor - III

Teslyn - III

Aludra - II

Beonin - II

Cook at Inn - II

Deira - II

Feraighin - II

Laras - II

Liandrin - II

Lini - II

Saerin - II

Setelle Anan - II

Sumeko - II

Tiana - II

Adine - I Ailhuin - I Alise - I Alivia - I Asne - I Balwer - I Barasine - I Beldeine - I Berisha - I Berowin - I Bornhold - I Breane - I Caira - I Canler - I Carlinya - I Chubain - I Corana - I Daigian - I Darlin - I Edarra - I Edelle - I Ellorien - I Essande - I Erith - I Females in Crowd - I Galina - I Garenia - I Graendal - I Jarid - I Javindhra - I Jeaine - I Jeaine - I Katerine - I Kireyin - I Latelle - I Marin al'Vere - I Merana - I Mesaana - I Merilille - I Moghedian - I Nesta din Reas - I Nicola - I Nildra - I Nisao - I Pevara - I Renaile - I Rendra - I Rhiale - I Samitsu - I Semirhage - I Seonid - I Sevanna - I Signet Ring Fellow - I Silk Shopkeeper - I Silviana - I Somara - I Sorilea - I Suroth - I Tam - I Tavern Wenches at the Woman of Tanchico Inn - I Tenobia - I Therava - I Tion - I Tylin - I Vandene - I Vasha - I Verin - I Village Wisdom - I Yukiri - I Woman in Fal Dara - I Women of Emond's Field - I

The only thing I'm sure of is that there's nothing like a well-turned calf on a man.

You're doing the creators work.

You forgot mustache thumbing, opening ones self to the true power, and how all men are mule headed idiots.

Australia's copyright reform could bring millions of books and other reads to the blind

Australia's copyright reform could bring millions of books and other reads to the blind

"Australia" - Here we go "copyright" - This can't end well "reform" - god dammit Australia "could bring Millions of books" - this is why we cant have nice... "To the blind" - oh.

That title belongs in /sub/nonononoyes

As an Australian I wholeheartedly agree... My thought process went from "sons of bitches" to "oh that's actually nice"

The article itself complains about how they shouldve used this bill to attach harsher copyright infringement laws to other internet things and I'm like "Seriously article? The one time the government doesnt try to do shady shit and actually tries to do something nice and you're criticising them for it? fuck you article"

I work with blind people, a big part of my job is to help blind people read electronically, whether that be books or a subreddit, on whatever hardware they prefer. You'd be surprised, screen reading software has gotten pretty decent, is often free, and usually inbuilt on most modern devices. It really wouldn't surprise me if there is a decent amount of blind people using reddit.

Inspector Morse creator Colin Dexter dead at 86.

Inspector Morse creator Colin Dexter dead at 86.

What wonderful television! He was a genius. Will be missed.

Endeavour is IMO the best detective show today, better than any American show anyway by a mile.

He went out on a good one though. Got to see the Morse character alive and once again starring in possibly the greatest currently airing detective TV shows. Shameless plug for the ITV series Endeavour, it's an amazing series and worthy of the Morse and Dexter legacy

I couldn't agree more. I loved the Morse series, but I'm really enjoying Endeavor. So well written and I like the moodiness of the filming style.

Just finished East of Eden......Wow

Just finished East of Eden......Wow

Have nothing specific to say, but this book completely blew my mind. I absolutely could not put it down. The characters, overarching themes, just everything was incredible. I hadn't read Steinbeck since High School; I think I'll start reading his other novels now.

Cannery Row is an underrated and under-read Steinbeck work.

this book had the same effect on me as well. Since reading it I've read six or so other Steinbeck novels. He is now one of my favorite authors

I feel like this happens a lot with Steinbeck. Teachers introduce him a little bit too early, and kids are bored or confused by him, but the ones that give him a second chance a few years later really fall in love, or at least appreciate it way more.

Makes me wonder if teachers are doing a good thing in prepping kids for challenging material early, or if they're jumping the gun and actively turning people away from Steinbeck too soon. I don't know how many people haven't given him that second chance his work deserves!

I was supposed to read Grapes of Wrath in 8th grade. I didn't. I read it last year (I'm 37). It was amazing. Possibly the best book I've ever read. I hear East of Eden is even better.

Books N Bros’ 11-year-old founder wants to help boys love reading at an age when they often don’t

Books N Bros’ 11-year-old founder wants to help boys love reading at an age when they often don’t
Books N Bros’ 11-year-old founder wants to help boys love reading at an age when they often don’t

How I got my young boys to read everyday: Put them to bed. Give them a small light and accessible books. Tell them they are not allowed to read after bedtime. At bedtime, close their door. Check on them at their real bedtime and take their book and shut off the small light.

Illicit reading is the best reading.

My Dad bought a drum kit and told me not to touch it. Been drumming for 7 years now

My Dad bought a drum kit and told me not to touch it. Been drumming for 7 years now

Was your dad deaf?

He just played it veeerrrrryyy softly

A year ago, I spent a week collecting the extracts featuring the worst examples of sex scenes in literature and it was totally worth it

A year ago, I spent a week collecting the extracts featuring the worst examples of sex scenes in literature and it was totally worth it

The issue: Since 1993, the Literary Review has been running a now world-famous ‘Bad sex in fiction award’, which aims to highlight and ‘honour’ authors who produce outstandingly bad scenes of sexual description in otherwise good novels. The purpose of the prize is to draw attention to poorly written, perfunctory or redundant passages of sexual description in modern fiction, and to discourage them.

Quite simply, the award offers a good helping of light, literary-based entertainment. Winners include award-winning writers like Sebastian Faulks and Tom Wolfe. Perhaps the most famous winner was Morrissey in 2015, for the extract of his book ‘List of the lost’, which features barrel-rolling breasts and “otherwise central zones”.

(Full Morrissey quote/extract here: “At this, Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.”)

Now, one thing that is curiously lacking on the internet is one full ‘compendium’ where you have all the winning extracts in one place. Perhaps an oversight on the part of the Literary Review, or simply because no one has yet got round to cataloguing all the extracts stretching back well over 20 years.

Enter, moi.

Now, I love a good bit of bad sex as much as anyone. And so one Sunday afternoon I decided, since nobody had done it before, it would be a good use of my time to sift through decades of literary archives in search of extraordinarily badly written sex scenes.

The thing is. I didn’t actually expect it to take as long as it did.

At first, it was relatively easy. Over the last few years (from about 2013), sites like The Guardian have been publishing the extracts religiously around the time of the awards (November each year). So it was just a case of googling, and copying and pasting.

Between the early 2000s and 2012, however, things got progressively more difficult as I worked backwards through time. Stories about the awards still existed, but instead of publishing entire extracts, news sites tended instead to just run a news story along the lines of ‘X famous novelist has won the bad sex in fiction award’, and then choose one or two stand out quotes from the novel in question and perhaps add in a quote from the judges at the literary review.

This wasn’t a major stumbling block, because, thanks to the internet, it was generally possible to use the ‘search’ function on a PDF of an online copy of the book (I had to pay to download the e-book version of one or two novels), and then simply copy the key phrase from the quote of the online news article, and that would bring me to the page of the extract in question. Still, it added a considerable amount of admin, research and reading time to the process – and at this point my Sunday afternoon had become Monday lunchtime and my boss was asking why I hadn’t written that morning’s marketing blog (I was, at the time, working as a marketing content writer).

Still, I wasn’t prepared for the amount of work that was still to come.

See, the problem with awards that predate the internet is that the years in the mid to late nineties in which the award was running simply weren’t picked up by any online news outlets. All I had to go on was a list on Wikipedia of the winning authors and the names of the books that won the award.

This meant the only route available to me was to rent or purchase copies of the outstanding novels. Que a trip to my local library (the wonders of your local library!) and an online book spending spree, (Amazon Prime 15-day free trial, anyone?). This was followed by an intense round of speed reading, running my eyes frantically over each page of text looking for the telltale signs of bad sex: “bulging trousers”, “moans”, “throbbing penises” and “love truncheons”.

The intense nature of this reading spell had some ill-wanted effects, including the Wednesday evening train journey during which I exclaimed “yes! condom!” with relief as I found the winning passage in Nicholas Royle’s The Matter of the Heart.

By the end of the week I had (skim)-read six full-length novels and found the ‘winning’ sex scenes of all the books to have won the award at that time (22 in total). I wrote the article, published it, and haven't looked back.

This might in part be because, on a personal contextual note, this week came during a rather torturous month in which I was breaking up with my SO of three years (whom I also lived with), after discovering she cheated on me. The mind does strange things when heartbroken.

Whatever the reason, it remains the best time I've ever spent reading about bad sex.

You can check out the article here - https://nothingintherulebook.com/2016/03/19/bad-sex-in-fiction-awards-the-connoisseurs-compendium/

And I also wrote a follow up article about how authors reacted to winning the world famous booby prize - https://nothingintherulebook.com/2016/12/18/a-repulsive-horror-how-famous-writers-responded-to-wi...

Thanks comrades - I hope you enjoy reading the extracts as much as I did!

Sounds like something /sub/pieceofshitbookclub would enjoy.

Try one of these subthreads